Thursday, January 25, 2007

   a fun experiment
for our 4th passage, my friend and I are going to conduct an experiment on human psyche. That's what we're calling it. Should be fun!thank you!
Comments (1) | Permalink

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

   gonna fucking break
I'm so Goddamn tired. i can't take this much more. I'm going to break. Just freaking die. Cos 4 hours of sleep or less a night isn't cutting it.

Plus, i'm stressed. I've got newspaper shit to do, Calculus, scholarship apps, graduation, senior project, animals to take care of, antonio to hang out with, my dad to see...i just need more sleep. caffine just makes it worse.

In brighter news, i got accepted into Agnes Scott. Yeah, i know. All girl's school. But hey, they're private so they might have lots of money. But let's face it: I 99% won't go there. too small, too feminine. But they've given me some great stuff, a key chain and a luggage tag


**removed rant**

alright, i'm calm now...anyway, i should just enjoy the time we have left together.

what a depressing thought :(

i feel like shit that's been hit by a car twice, covered in snow that melted, refroze, then melted down the storm drain

here's some lyrics I effing Love:

"Look After You"

If I don't say this now I will surely break
As I'm leaving the one I want to take
Forgive the urgency but hurry up and wait
My heart has started to separate

Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Be my baby
Oh, oh, oh
I'll look after you

There now, steady love, so few come and don't go
Will you won't you, be the one I always know
When I'm losing my control, the city spins around
You're the only one who knows, you slow it down

Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Be my baby
Oh, oh, oh
I'll look after you

If ever there was a doubt
My love she leans into me
This most assuredly counts
She says most assuredly

Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Be my baby
I'll look after you

It's always have and never hold
You've begun to feel like home
What's mine is yours to leave or take
What's mine is yours to make your own

Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Be my baby
Oh, oh, oh

by THE FRAY...from Denverthank you!
Comments (2) | Permalink

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

   Bad Religion
I'm listening to Bad Religion right now.

the song "Broken" really inspires me. The Lyrics are:

"Broken"

She said
Thanks but I'm broken
I guess
You must have misspoken
What a laugh
I've never been chosen by anyone

She was barely a teen
Hanging out in between
Just a part of the scene
With mercurial smile
And incurable style
She was only a dream
How's that
He didn't know a thing about
Making love to the kind of girl you read about

He said
I'm bound to be broken
My Daddy bet
That I'd amount to nothing
He won't let anybody show him anything

He was a troubled child
Had been down for a while
Always kept to himself
No she couldn't defend
He only wanted a friend
Now he's made something else
It's so sad no one saw it coming
The paper said that he hit the ground running

Oh yeah
I know I'm not broken
A little cracked
But still I'm not broken
I wanna laugh but I think that I'm choking on reality

When the
World is turning for you
Don't turn on me
Who are you here to repair
Well I don't know what you mean
You could never resist
Glorifying despair
Well now it's coming to you and I don't really care

Well I'm not
The kind to insist
You couldn't have missed
We must co exist
So please listen to me
There is no such thing as human debris

Oh yeah
I know I'm not broken
A little cracked
But dad I'm not so nothing
I wanna laugh
I'm not joking

I'm unbroken
Oh yeah I said I'm unbroken
I said I'm unbroken
A little cracked it's just a token
I'm really not broken
What a guess I'm unbroken


It makes me think of a story: "in an authoritarian future ruled by one overpowering gov't whose only goal is maintaining ultimate control and peace over the people, through any means necessary, a secret, loathe society exists to fight for freedom."

that's the movie trailer script. It's really about that backdrop, but this girl is outspoken against the gov't, and her mentor's lil brother shows up, they "get along" and hook up, and she gets pissed when he looses sight of her true, only goal: freedom. Then he fights harder than her, and makes changes. or something. And then they have kids, the gov't gets back in control, and she takes the blame for it, they kill her. sad ending.

sorta like Aeon Flux. But I had the idea first.
>:( i hate it when that happens

Seriously, I'm sadistic. My dream is to write a story that builds hopes so high that you feel it, and then to have utter failure.

Speaking of which, anyone see Letters from Iwo Jima? I did. It was SO. SAD!!!!! I wanted to cry.

it was good, but i didn't like it. I don't like war movies. Horror is fake, so it's like...eh, it's just some sicko's imagination. War is reality, real people died doing something they didn't even want to. I hate war, it's a stupid fucking waste of life. Things may not be able to be resolved other ways, but I say the PROBLEM starts from human greed and lust for power.

if people could let go of the material, then everyone could live happier and simpler lives.

damn
thank you!
Comments (2) | Permalink

Monday, January 22, 2007

   so...sleepy...
Ah, man. I got accepted into CU Boulder!!! Go me!!! not that i had much doubt; public schools are relatively easy to get into.

Sent out 2 scholarships to PSU. One for approx. half off out of state tuition, the other for $7500 off yearly...

considering making a Pro/con chart of which college I want to attend. We'll see. Tired now.

Colorado State and University of Colorado compete, but really. I got my acceptance letter to CU Boulder along with some fakey fancy award paper about my admittance, and CSU, where i've been admitted for at least a month+, sent me a fakey fancy looking award paper too

now if only i'd gotten that full ride....lazy!!

going to take a nap now...toodles!thank you!
Comments (1) | Permalink

Friday, January 19, 2007

   BUSY!
Okay, well, I'm super psyched because I finished going through potential scholarships at FastWeb.com...

out of 202, I am elligible for/need to apply for 49. There are some that I am automatically considered for with my application (private schools)

The first deadline is Feb. 1

I'm going to be one busy kid!!! But hey, it's worth it. College is very important to me.

My choices are:

Colorado State University (in-state, public, Natural Sciences/Biology major, with a minor in Japanese)

Portland State University (Oregon, public, Environmental Science and Japanese double major, or minor in Japanese)

Agnes Scott College (Georgia, private all girls, Biology minor with Japanese study)

University Colorado Boulder (in-state, public, Evolutionary Biology/environmental studies double major, Japanese minor)

University at Puget Sound (Washington, private, Environmental Studies/Biology Major, Japanese minor if they offer it.) I have a good chance of getting in here

Colorado College: I don't know, I don't want to go here anymore. it's weird...you take only 1 class REALLY intensively for 3 weeks, then go on. It's good for some people, but i'd forget stuffthank you!
Comments (2) | Permalink

Thursday, January 18, 2007

   lalalala
Today I felt onery, so I acted like it. I'm never REAL bratty, but i was bad enough.

Unless you ask my parents. They think i'm about as onery as kids come...about the only thing they agree on, too.

Anyway, I was being sarcastic and all in my Portfolio class, which i see as an easy A, throw away class, anyway. Making snide remarks about the teacher in a classroom of about 10 kids isn't the best

she laughed, but later in the hall, when i was going home, she cornered me and said, "Julie, do you want us to fight?"

I was thinking, 'wtf? my mom says that when we argue.' and said, "oh, no, I just felt like being mean today, Ms. sorry!"

then she replied, "no, i mean about the boettcher. You really deserved that scholarship."

I said, "Oh, it's okay. I really don't mind."

she asked me, "Do you believe that things happen for a reason?"

"Well, of course. The reason for this is, I am not as good a candidate as others," i said

then she went on and on about how good a writer I am. I don't think i'm that good. and i don't want to go to Knox

lol she used to smoke Pot XD crazy hippie.

Anyway, people are being too nice to me. It's not like i really deserved it, and it's not the end of the world.

I can count at least 10 people who will still love me and think ABSOLUTELY no different of me. They're the ones who are indignant on my part, but have the respect to NOT feel sorry for me, and pity me, and be super nice to me for a stupid reason. I'm not childish enough to get all upset over it.

I get upset about much different things.

like stupid blackberries that have seeds and are super sour. or family-hatred problems. and math.

damn you mathematics!

I want to learn to be a great cook...i'm not bad as it is, but i want to do better

tatathank you!
Comments (4) | Permalink

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

   words

Forever
-Papa Roach-

In the brightest hour of my darkest day
I realized what is wrong with me
Can’t get over you can’t get through to you
It’s been a helter-skelter romance from the start
Take these memories that are haunting me
Of a paper man cut into shreds by his own pair of scissors
He’ll never forgive her he’ll never forgive her

Because days come and go but my feelings for you are forever
Because days come and go but my feelings for you are forever

Sitting by a fire on a lonely night
Hanging over from another good time
With another girl little dirty girl
You should listen to this story of her life
You’re my heroin in this moment I’m lonely fulfilling my darkest dreams
All these drugs all these women
I’m never forgiven this broken heart of mine

Because days come and go but my feelings for you are forever
Because days come and go but my feelings for you are forever

One last kiss before I go
Dry your tears it is time to let you go
One last kiss before I go
Dry your tears it is time to let you go

Because days come and go but my feelings for you are forever
Because days come and go but my feelings for you are forever

One last kiss before I go
Dry your tears it is time to let you go
One last kiss before I go
Dry your tears it time to let you go
One last kiss


wow. those lyrics...wow. They aren't particularly elloquent, but the song, the lyrics, the song articulates what i've been feeling for years, in one way or another. I never did drugs, but i understand the self destruction, the longing, and sadness.

I still don't really like Papa Roach, but I empathize with a lot of their music.

I hate FallOut Boy. Pete Wentz needs to STFU. His band was trying to talk, and he interrupted them all with his huge mouth. They stopped talking like good little girls

This brings up something:
(not really)
My manga collection!!! It's spread out over my house, my dad's house, and about 3 friends houses, but this is what I have

Ranma 1/2 Volumes 1-36 (in English) and 1, 36, 38 in Japanese

InuYasha 1-17 English, 45 Japanese

The Wallflower (English) 1-10 and 9,10 Japanese

oh boy. Samurai Deeper Kyo 18-38 Japanese, 1-20 English

SUPERIOR 1,3

Mermaid Saga 1-4

Fruits Basket 1-15

Saiyuki #3

Saikano 1

Naruto 1-5

Hikaru No Go 1,2

Jing King of Bandits 1

Alichino 1,2

Urusei 2

Love Hina 1-14

Marmalade Boy 3-6

Flame of Recca 1,2

DigiCharat 1

so far my total is 163

and I didn't name them all. I'm so slow >< sorry, i'll add them up next timethank you!
Comments (4) | Permalink

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

   cats that purr
my cat is purring in my lap...and not drooling all over me!!! how sweet... :)

well, let's see... >.> I didn't get that scholarship I wanted, but that's okay, because i wasn't expecting it, and anyway, my options are more open if i don't get it. (there will be other scholarships)

hrm...what's in the news?

For his Birthday, I got Antonio 3 things:
*Cannibal Holocaust
*Pink Floyd The Wall
*ways to say someone's a "Fucking Idiot" shirt
(the shirt came from Spencer's...>.> i didn't like it as well as another one, but that one was WAY too big)

:) Look up Cannibal Holocaust. Go on. It's Gory. I hope. I never have seen it. I don't want to...but Antonio likes gore. And such. I abhor the movie because, as i just found out, the actors KILL several LIVE animals, some excessivly, like the monkey who gets his face cut off while he's alive :(

I like animals. Stupid BASTARDS have to kill them unnecessarily. >:( it was in 1980...**vendetta, vendetta!**

oh well. My mom's gonna make him a cheesecake for his birthday. Only...10 more days!!!

I can't wait til i am 18, i'm gonna get piercings, and tattoos. yay, piercings and tattoos. I don't know of what yet...piercings, probably just my upper ears. maybe lip?

how was your MLK Jr. Day?

I really admire MLK Jr. He was a true hero; stood up for his beliefs, and the rights of ALL people, peacefully. I like Ghandi, too. My dad says Ghandi was an "idiot" because he "let" his wife die of cancer. But what does my dad know? He LET my dog die :P

my poor old Harry...what were your childhood pets like?thank you!
Comments (2) | Permalink

Friday, January 12, 2007

   well, oh...well
Poor Lucky...My guinea Pig died this morning/yesterday (i'm posting this at 10:20 the day he died, but it'll show up as tomorrow.)

Thank you for your concern...I'm kind of OK with it, though, because he was suffering, and I don't want him to suffer so much anymore.

That said, my best friend, who is ALSO sick, she needs to suffer until she gets better >:o she's supposed to have surgery on Saturday. let's hope so!!!

I'm listening to Bad Religion right now. They're kind of Punk. You know, like Anti-Flag. They're so concerned about the state of the world. especially on "The Process of Belief." still, it;s a good album. My favorite songs are "Broken," "Kyoto Now!" "Materialist," and "Sorrow."


oh, and did you see the advertisements for that rotten movie, with the "killer of over 300" and "never been caught" and all, in Africa? It's coming out soon...It starts with a P ><

Anyway, they make it sound like it's a human doing the killing, but it's an animal **rolls eyes** that's not really scary.

I mean, it's SUPER scary, when there's a HUMAN killing people, cos it's like "Oh, my God!!! How could s/he do that to another human being??" with an animal, it's more like, "Oh. It's hungry. It's just doing what it's supposed to."





who's that? guess which one is me! (if you guess one of the boys, you're in trouble >:O)thank you!
Comments (3) | Permalink

Thursday, January 11, 2007

   poor little Lucky
My guinea Pig is really sick. He's probably going to either die on his own, or be put to sleep. Well, of COURSE he's going to die, but i don't want him to die yet. Please pray for him, even if it sounds silly. he's really sweet, and he needs it.

:(

today wasn't too bad; i spend most of my day wasting time. Mayte came over, dropped off my homework along with a balloon, which mesmerized my cat pickle (it was hilarious), and some flowers, which pickle is allergic to, so they're in the garage.

we couldn't talk for long, but she was very nice!!!

My cat, Lain's tummy is grumbling. is she suffering from indigestion, hunger, or something else?

after she left, i got REALLY sick, and dizzy. i slept for about 30 minutes, then got up.

The phone rang off the hook today, too. Usually, it only rings a couple times, if at all. Today, I swear it must have rang about 20 times >< making me run all around after it. And if it wasn't the home phone, it was the cell

my mouth IS hurting, but mostly from where i'm grinding/clenching my teeth. bad habit.

tomorrow, i don't know what i'll do. some homework, i suppose?

I'm hungry. damn.

I want all the foods i can't have. They're predicting more snow, too. NOOOO

oh, and Majosha, get well soonthank you!
Comments (2) | Permalink