Thursday, September 29, 2005

   fucking bad day


today was a bad day. Bad day! Bad! **slaps it across the face**

first of all, Antonio called right before school started to see if I could hang out. that's cool until my mom said "No" when I called her and asked her. -.-

then, I get to class, have to rush-rush-rush to get my homework done. (forgot the assignment) at least I know how to do it!

then second hour, the only thing keeping my alive was this girl who's hilarious. (such a boring class)

then math sucked, and physics pissed me off because that girl acted stupid like usual. but hey! at least she talks to me.

the worst part was lunch, I think. well, maybe not the worst but bad. I was at the locker, and since the girl I share a locker with is popular, and the girls next to us are double popular, there were all sorts of people there. Now, I wasn't in a terribly bad mood until the person who's suppossed to be a 'best friend' said a big, happy, super bouncy, friendly, glad-to-see ya "HI (their name here)"

not to me, and I was RIGHT FREAKIN NEXT TO THAT BITCH. she said hi to people she doesn't even LIKE but not to me! only the girl from physics said hi...

so, feeling quite insulted and sad, I left and went to my "solitary confinement" and cried like a moron. fuck.

then, in History, even the most insensitive guys could tell i was unhappy. so, they talked to me and made me laugh a bit. (for my party, Dino is going to dress up as Jesus, and John is going to be our teacher. and it's not a costume party! hahaha!)

then, I talked to that girl just to see if she would speak, and nope! she ran off to talk to some other kid. pissed me off all over again. and I tried to write her a sort of "WTF letter" but it didn't help and i won't give it to her.

Japanese was suckey. I was again ignored.

the only happy surprise was that Antonio was in the car when I got there! yay!

unfortunately, this is the WORST part. my cat, Lain, is NOT fine.

you know that thing in her tummy? it's things. fluid filled cysts. there's a lot of them in pockets.

and, to make matters worse, they weave in and out of each other, and in and out of her LIVER. dammit.

because the cysts do that, she can't have surgery to remove them, and she has to take medicine to keep them from getting bigger. but they probably won't get smaller.

there's a 10 percent chance that the cysts are cancer, and if they are, my poor little kitty is going to die in a couple of months, because there's really nothing that could be done for her.

right now, the cysts are not really affecting her except for squishing her tummy and her intestines. they might make her feel full/throw up later, or cause constipation, but right now, they're not.

still, it really has me worried. my poor, sweet little kitty.

it'll get better, it has to because if it doesn't...there's no fucking point in anything.

stupid karma.thank you!
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Wednesday, September 28, 2005

   oh damn.


if I didn't already tell you, i will now: the friend who i thought was mad at me really isn't. she says she's "here for me" but I don't believe it because she ignores me unless there's no one else to talk to. but it's okay.

anyway, what's bothering me is my poor cat Lain. she's really little (only like 6.5 lbs now) and she has this weird bloated tummy, so we took her to the vet on monday.

as it turns out, she has a "mass" in her tummy. not in her stomach where food gets digested, but around there. it squishes her intestines and stuff, too. poor thing. She seems okay, but I'm still worried about her because her blood work said she's got a high calcium level, which could indicate a tumor.

at any rate, she's going to have to get surgery to get it removed...and I'm just worried about her because she's so little and sweet. even if it seems somewhat trivial, please be wishing for her well-being...

in other news, my dogs won't STFU, and on Oct. 5 is the NIN concert...**can't wait** hopefully I get to go. I have the ticket... XD but I don't know how indoor concerts work.

have you ever been to a concert?

oh, and a Happy happy 16th birthday to my friend Dulce. Even though I don't think she has an account here, happy birthday to her!

here's her favorite guy


oh and please join my forum~! it's about music!

Julie took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test! "Wants to make a favorable impression and be recogn..." Click here to read the rest of the results.

SOUNDS LIKE ME! o.O

well, have a great day andthank you!
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Tuesday, September 27, 2005

   bloop




two bunny pics, because I couldn't decide. picky girl that I am. tsk tsk.

well, this weekend I CLEANED MY ROOM! do you know what an accomplishment that is?! it's like Elvis rising for the dead, or a certain presidnet stringing together a coherent sentence.

sorry, I couldn't resist. I dislike Bush, but no worries to his fans: I disliked Kerry and just about every other Politician there is. I simply hate politics. heh

anyway, I also saw the Corpse Bride, which, while short, was a great movie. it was so sweet! kind of predictable, too, but I really liked it. and I got a great dress for half off at Hot Topic


that's the dress I bought about a month ago


my two sets of dream shoes <3 <3 <3

well, have a great day guys, i'm out of things to saythank you!
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Friday, September 23, 2005

   both sides have a story


cute!!!

ok, so yesterday, my "friend" came and talked to me for the first time in like, 2 weeks (besides when she was forced to) she said: "pook"

I said, very meanly, "what the hell do you want?"

and she got pissed off and said "jeez" and left.

it was after school, anyway.

I felt pretty bad, because I think I was out of line. I took my bad day out on her.

but you know what? In a way, I think my response was justified. What would you think if somebody who had been a really close friend suddenly stopped saying anything to you, except when they wanted something?

I know I was wrong, so I wrote her an apology note. but, if she doesn't take it, I want to tell her, "you stopped talking to me completely for a week. the most you said to me in three was 'can I close it?' what do you expect me to think when you suddenly have something to say when all you friends aren't around?"

it pissed me off for a long time yesterday, but it mostly made me sad. if she stays pissed off, I'm going to get pissed off because it is unfair for her to do that. plus, she'll probably bitch and get sympathy from other people, while I have no one anyway (i sit in a 8 foot by 4 foot room that's filthy and looks like solitary confinement).

fuck.

sorry bout thatthank you!
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Thursday, September 22, 2005

   stupid homework


My bitching.

read that if you want to hear it. that's what it is. i edited it out


I took this personality analysis. Interesting. In some ways, it DOES sound like me, but in others, it doesn't.

Julie, your Personality

SummaryYour Personality Type

You are an optimist who is often more focused on the past and the future than the present moment. You have an active imagination. You have good hunches and intuitions and people notice that.





Your Motto
"I want to discover the truth in life."





How You Work best
You work best in cooperative, harmonious environments. Competition, a rushed pace, and a strict format for communication don't work well for you. Your strength is your open-mindedness. Your Achilles heel is that you are sometimes too hard on yourself.





Your Life Situation
You are not fully satisfied with your current life situation. It is in your own hands, though, to change this. Every day you have the opportunity to improve your life situation by making decisions that suit your personality best.

Making decisions that suit your personality best benefits all areas of your life: your relationships, your career, your love life, your goals, your family life, and your health.

In order to make the decisions that suit YOU best, you need to know your personality well.



anyway, I feel like that song "hurt" by NIN...google it if you don't know it. mostly,

"what have I become/my sweetest friend/everyone I know/goes away in the end/you could have it all/my empire of dirt/i will bring you down/i will make you hurt"

and

"You are someone else, I am still right here"

and

"if i could start again/a million miles away/i would keep myself/i would find a way"

sorry for the emo :(
thank you!
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Wednesday, September 21, 2005

   stop with the emo


stupid rabbit.

stupid school. I hate this. I hate it I hate it I hate it. And, right now, I hate just about everyone. it's...not my fault is it? yes, it is.

but Antonio's here, so I'm not alone right nowthank you!
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Tuesday, September 20, 2005

   if only...


I'd laugh my ass off if the bunny decided to go on her head...especially pee, because bunny pee is super nasty.

speaking of which, I must clean the bunny cage. damn. ><

well, not much to say. today was my friend's birthday, and I haven't seen her in a while, so I called her. she sounds good.

and speaking of birthdays, mine isn't for over a month, but who cares? I get to start planning for my party. which, i sort of don't want to have because my only real friend (at least at home) is Tamara. Antonio doesn't count because he's my boyfriend.

none the less, i have an invite list of 26 people. where did I accumulate so many acquainances?!

hrm...thanks for the support from last post...I think the best thing to do is just ask to be taught. :-S

eeeetto...

and in a month, I might be hosting a Japanese student at my house for 3 days!!!! I hope so, and I hope they speak some english, because my Japanese isn't that great...damn. CLEANING! NOOOO

hopefully, this fall season will become less hot, and become the coolness and feels like dying that I love of fall.

here's a poem I wrote.

SU.I.CIDE.
I see die.
Should I try?
Someone will cry.
Not like I care.
But I don't dare.
Because God is there.

sums up the point of my fucking life. -.- damn...

are you happy with the way you look to yourself and are precieved in the world?thank you!
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Sunday, September 18, 2005

   oh, woe is me


wow! look! it's Ringu bunny!

haha, want to hear something REALLY pathetic? (and quite embarrassing)

laugh if you want, I think it's funny.

i don't know how to...can't say it...Kiss...**struggles not to delete. type type type type type type type type if I type enough i'll get too lazy to delete, and plus it doesn't stand out as much**

yes. isn't that pathetic?! that kid tries to k--word (nothing too sick) meh, and it feels like he's trying to eat me, cuz i just sit there...T.T GIVE ME YOUR SYMPATHY!! or whatever. just not an STD from the cheap hooker down the block.

sorry I haven't been able to get to sites, i've been sort of busy. haha, some bitch stole Antonio's wallet. but when he was talking to his mom (in spanish) I was freaked. i didn't think he could speak spanish that well at all! (it was really rather smexy)

hrm...about this...dilema...i should ask for assistance and seem pathetic. >:(

oh well. what else to say?

oh yeah, about Naruto in English! I've been forgetting.

well, I don't love the english version (in case you didn't know, i used to be OBSESSED with naruto 2 years ago, and bought fansubs of season 1-2, and 2/3 of 3.)

the edits aren't so bad, but i wish there weren't any. still, they're allowed to say "sexy jutsu" and they use a lot of Japanese, so i think that's good.

I really don't like Naruto's voice. It doesn't sound like the real Naruto, though, the seiyuu does try. I think, actually, Shikamaru and Hinata have good voices. Sakura's kind of annoys me, but Ino's is...well, to me, it sounds like MY voice. o.O

Sasuke's is a lot like the japanese one. he sounds mature, but still like a 12 year old. I don't particularly like Kakashi's. he sounds okay, you know, sort of mellow, but his voice is deeper in Japanese.

oh well, it is FAR, FAR better than I would have expected. Just a few peeves, are: PRONOUNCIATION

it's Nah-ru-to. emphasis on NA, not RU. dumbasses. and it's not ge-NIN, it's GE-nin. and Uchiha. you say the ha, not uchi-a.

oh, and since I can do the smexy "l/r" (you know, how r is l and l is r in japanese. to make it, you act like you're going to say 'la' but say 'ra' instead) it bothers me that they make the r's sound so hard and it sounds painfull. gah! stupid freaking English...

sigh...


I guess I am a jealous person. I get jealous of Antonio's female friends, but at the same time, i have almost all male friends. what's up with that?!

what are the top 3 words/phrases you would use to describe yourself as a friend?thank you!
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Thursday, September 15, 2005

   so...


bunneh! I need to clean mine bunny's cage. but also, there is precious...SOUTH PARK!

I love last night's episode, where Cartmen wanted more "mature" friends, so he goes into a 'men looking for young boys' chat room and starts saying "i'm an 8 year old boy looking for an older male friend"

then, about 1000 chatboxes pop up, and everytime he meets a guy, the guy gets arrested, until NAMBLA gets involved, which is the North American Men Boy Love Association...it's hilarious.

they're just like "we want the right to do what we want to with love! Homosexuals and women have that right, why not us?!"

Stan and Kyle say "You're having sex with children" about 4 times, then Stan says "I believe in equality and fairness and all that gay stuff, but that's just #@$% sick!"

love south park. are there any SP/comedy central fans out there?thank you!
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Wednesday, September 14, 2005

   rewh


hrm...well, my day was...okay. it rained, a lot, at least!!!!!! I love the rain

so, at lunch, Antonio came, but I thought he wasn't, and then when I saw him, I didn't recognize him because he dressed super-punk today. it was kinda hot (ha ha)

so, then, he wanted to go to 7-11 which is only a couple blocks away from school, but only after we climbed into the stupid, soggy field. which, I had to jump off a fence. meh. i was all scared, it was funny.

then, the bitch working there...when he put down some money to pay for what he bought, he slammed down quarters and said "Change!" then, when she got his change, she was all pissed off, and did the same thing but sarcastic.

then he tried to poke me in the eye with his stupid spikey red hair...but I got him back by poking with chopsticks. then, he tried to kill me.

physics was surprisingly boring, but Antonio told the teacher he'd dropped out. (not true, no worries) oh, and PM me if you want to hear his slightly ridiculous "boner" story...**giggles**

yeah, so I didn't have to go to study lab, so I didn't. I went with Antonio and Gavin to "stoner park" but thankfully they didn't get stoned or anything. but they did tease some other stoners...then we got rained on and had to run, which was funny. i was freezing.

I had a committee meeting where I got complimented, and somebody called me that "hot goth girl" to which I responded "I'm not goth, dipshit"

today I wasn't lonely, but I will be tomorrow. I feel like the only friend I really have is Tamara... ;.;

oh well! I have you guys too! ^__^ you're better than those jerks, anyway

schfifty-five by group X...LMAO

well, I feel like listening to goth music and taking a nap. toodles!thank you!
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