Friday, July 22, 2005

   oh the pan
my stomach hurts. it's what I get for eating a blueberry muffin.

things that make my stomach hurt reeeaaaaaaaal bad:
Blueberries, Jello, Onions, raisins, nuts, and a lot of sugar.

God damn you blueberry muffin, tempting me into a stomachache with your yummy goodness.

anywho, if I die tonight, I want you to have my chicken. what chicken, I do not know, but a chicken.

hey, there's a dead cat in my shed. maybe she got Parvo and died, but not before infecting poor lil me?!

oh well. LMAO! my goth song by Velvet Acid Christ ends in "chemicals man, they'll fuck you up~!"

yeah. since I'm in pain, and I'll be busy this weekend, I might not get around to sites, but if I could I would. sorreh!

PS. I get to drive legally for the first time Sunday! (you can hear about the illegal misadventure another time)

have a great day!thank you!
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   what bunny pic of the day?


hey there, mates! I made it to everyone with a new post on my friend's list and commented in like...45 minutes or less. go me!

anyway, my stomach has been hurting like a bitch, and I can't seem to throw up. I got up at 2, ate a muffin, and then didn't eat again until like...7:30, but still, my tummy hurted...oh well.

yesterday was really fun; i went swimming with Tamara and Antonio and was fighting like crazy with Tamara...so funny!

well, I don't know how much I'll be getting around, because of Costa Rica and everything, so I'm sorry...I'll missums you guys so much!

and oh, as to the comments,

I did NOT go see Dark Water, but I already know about it because A.) I have the original Japanese book, and B.) I have seen the original Japanese version. It was not scary, but it was okay. sad. but the end of the japanese version was so funny! it had this utterly heartbreaking ending, and then they play happy-ish, pop music like from InuYasha... it was hilarious.

and, Majosha, are you happy about the damn picture?

and ah, yes.

Who likes me new layout? if you don't, I'm not changing it. I just wanna know what you think

and are you weird like me? if I wake up before I'm supposed to and can't fall back asleep, all I want to do is cook eggs. fried, sunny-side up, scrambled, omlets, etc. I could go through 4 dozen eggs if I was up soon enough...strange.

oh! and Japanese movies are really good. I like the horror genre because it appeals to what scares me, but I can usually get over it fairly soon. Like, have you seen "Premonition"? it was really good, i highly recommend it!

yeah, that's it for today, Sasaya gone away...thank you!
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Wednesday, July 20, 2005

   Alarm sounds like "whoop"

today, our bunnies of the day are Axel and Cookie again!
Cookie: Hey Axel, do you ever get the feeling someone's using us to make money?
Axel: NO now go back to sleep, and remember: Bailey's has the best Irish Creme

I imagine them speaking with a British accent, too.

anyway, I just got off the phone, like 40 minutes ago, from my friend Mayte! It was really quite a lovely surprise, considering she is one of my best friends, and we can be silly together, but also serious.

We talked for a good 2 hours and are going to try to go to the NIN concert on Oct. 5

the countdown is at 6 days today, tomorrow is a barbeque, thursday is Dark Water and friday is the zoo, again.

I can't wait for Costa Rica, I'm already almost all packed.

yeah, and a sample of the conversation with Mayte was:
Mayte: so, anyway, the other day I was thinking
Sasaya: You were thinking?!

and then Mayte laughed for about 5 minutes because she said she's been feeling like a crackhead all summer. I was surprised she broke up with Ross, but she has a new BF whose name I cannot remember. All I know is, the girl gets through boys. She's had like 4 boyfriends in the past year (starting with her first) and she hasn't really LOVED one of them.

Now my mom is bitching at me to get off the computer, so I'll save this for 10 pm when it says it's tomorrow

wow, my cats are funny. I held one to see if she gets tired of crying, turns out she doesn't. **nurses scratches and bites**


oh and I'm happy now because I've been listening to "goth" music for hours. It seems like it'd be emo, but it's more like industrial. **love**

yeah, so toodles!
thank you!
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Tuesday, July 19, 2005

   it's what I do!

Bunny on the left: Hey, Axel! Did you hear that? It sounded like impending doom
Bunny on the right: **sighs** Y'know Cookie, I get real tired of your constent paranoia that doom is impending

woof. I had something to say. And it will be said, never you worry your pretty little face. but first I have to remember it

**10 minutes later**

Oh yeah, I'm a writer. It's what I do. (well, I also complain a lot) NIGHT is a DJ. it's what she does. She also works cleaning houses, now.

I am a writer. I write, it's what I'll always do. besides complain. It's just the notch in the world for me. This is my life, and right now, it's decent.


anyway, today I shall discuss...stupid things.

Like the middle schoolers who use sharpies to get intentionally high. I mean, I can see getting a little woozy from accidentally inhaling the fumes when vandalizing public property, but come on, to get high off a marker is just lame.

I don't know about where you live, but here, it's incredibly easy to get marijuana. weed, for the lay person (XD) Not that I'm saying that's any better, but come on, at least there's a little thrill of danger involved.

not that I've ever tried drugs, but man, high off a marker?! what the heck?!

although...my boyfriend's best friend..."Jim"...is a total stoner. it's scary though, because supposedly, he gets smarter when he's high (this I doubt)

but I do like to laugh at him because nobody wants to get high with him but a bunch of 11 and 12 year olds (kind of sad on their part)

what's this world coming to! tsk tsk...

like those asshole kids trying to sell stuff to us once, "Jim" took their flier, crumpled it up into a ball, threw it in front of their faces, and yelled "F!CK THIS!"

they, of course, got all butt hurt and started trying to make fun of us. it failed because any time they'd speak, "Jim" yelled 'GO BACK TO YOUR TRAILER!" and then they'd laugh at us, calling "Jim" fat albert and so forth.

what a pathetic attempt at meanness...I'm not an entirely mean person, but come on! even I could put them to shame...

....man, what a waste of topic. oh well, sucks for you because you read it. and I'm listening to Japanese pop on AOL radio. (kill me!)thank you!
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Monday, July 18, 2005

   even if it's a little long, please read it


Friend Profile: NIGHT

anyway, I really don't have much to say, I guess. ummm...yeah, I'm not getting much.

however, i suspect i would be a good horror writer. i scared myself thinking about terrible things, earlier.

hrmmm....

wow, nothing. I am such a loser...damn...I wish I had something with meaning to say, like Lord Sesshomaru. or even Majosha.

lots of other people have meaningful things to say, too, but I can't spell their names... :P

well, here's my not so worthless, but long winded opinion:
I go to an inner city school. we are dirt poor. our idiot (and ugly and bitchy) principal wasted like a thousand dollars to get the auditorium recarpeted for the Queen of Jordan when she came 2 years ago.

our school is low on lightbulbs, desks, BOOKS, janitorial services, science equipment(at the start of 9th grade for me, they had exactly $16.82 in the science fund), heating, gym equipment, air conditioning, teachers, music equipment, and just about everything else

i mean, we are POOR. we don't have A/C or school buses. if you live 3.5 miles or further from the school, you get a free bus pass a month. yeah, we have to take public transportation.

nobody here puts anything into our education. they'd rather pay for jails. yes, criminals are people too, and need to be treated as such, but if the government would put MORE money into education, there'd be less people in the prisons.

it's ridiculous, and it's like that everywhere. and then I read about in the paper where some senator said "there are a lot of frills you can cut out of k-12 education" frills?! WHAT FRILLS?! Books? teachers? science? guess what, moron, if we cut out of those, we LOSE them. cut out gym? sure, why not? we'll all be out of shape pigs, fat on the cheap crap you buy because healthy food is too expensive.

I have a better idea: why don't we cut the frills out of your paycheck. you get paid waaaaaaay too much, you damn politician. no? you don't like losing your yacht, asshole?!

man, if I met that guy, I'd pop him one...grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr now I'm all worked up and hyper. >.> found something to say, didn't I?! ha ahahahahahahathank you!
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Sunday, July 17, 2005

   lovely day at the lake

"yo, bitch, gimme some of that!"
"asshole"

ah, if only cute, cuddly animals could talk...

well, on saturday, we went to the lake for swimming, which is the closest thing to a real beach that we have around here. (at least there's no jellyfish)

although, there ARE fish, and I fear fish very much.

anyway, the swim area is about...300 feet long? and goes out into the lake about 75 feet. and I'll tell you, 25 feet in, it gets over my head. But, even though deep water and fish are my worst nightmares, I was out as far as I could go, treading water, swimming for the fun of it. I love doing that...

but one problem. My hair is pretty long. It falls about to my elbows, just a little longer. and when I go swimming, I make certain that it's braided tightly. well, my braid came out, i totally lost the scrunchie, and I had all this dark, wet hair billowing around me in the deep, dark water.

it was pretty funny; i had to drag out looking like some drugged up mermaid (I was dizzy as fuck and couldn't keep my balance on land) with hair raked all over my face. I got my spare rubberband, braided it up, and went back out to the deep. 10 minutes later, lightning was spotted and I had to slop on out. still, it was a good 2 hours and tons of fun.

but my poor leg chaffed on my shorts. (don't like having underwear like bottoms, so I wear swimshorts) how do you gentlemen do it?! my poor legs hurt a lot now. **shakes head** men's legs must be made of stronger stuff than mine...

anyway, today was a good day, even though I worry about my mom, dad, and now myself because I'm beginning to see and hear things that aren't there.

still, even though I'm paranoid, and scared, and not sure I'm entirely back to normal on the sanity and happiness-chemical-levels, I'll be ok. I got it good, ah?

oh, and I'm going to start doing a featurette on my friends, online and off. if you want me to feature you, or don't want me to, send me a pm. ^_~ HA HA woah, dude...trippyness

thank you!
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Saturday, July 16, 2005

   funkeh


blah, nothing much to say, but I'm pathetic.

yes, you all knew it, but I mean, I'm pop-culturally pathetic.

i don't know who the hell is who in pop/rap/r&b and most movies. this ad on my site said "who is Beyonce's Boyfriend?" and my first thought was "who's Beyonce?"

then, I wondered who "Jay-Z" "The Game" and "50 Cent" are. while not completely ignorant (i recognize the names vaguely) if my life depended on knowing about what's cool, I'd be dead

which, btw, I do NOT want. I didn't even cut because i got busy writing. Horray for me! ^__^

oh and for my good behavior, I got $25 worth of books. I got 5 of them. Gulliver's Travels, Northanger Abbey (by Jane Austen), The Time Machine and the Invisible Man by H.G. Wells, selected stories that are also classics, but the title fails me.

and volume 10 of Fruits Basket, my alltime favorite manga. I just can't deny it. hate me if you must but it's got some seriously screwy people. and very immoral themes.

I was pleased with it, as usual, but I can't wait for the next one because I think that we find out that Akito's a female. and, I was happy to know that Fruits Basket is so popular that it will be coming out monthly now...**squeals** at least until we catch up with Japan...

anyway, it's late and some stranger turned on the sprinklers. damn neighbor kids, won't even invite me to play with them...(just kidding)

anyway, have a nice day!thank you!
Comments (1) | Permalink

   what the...


oh dear. as to my posts from the other day, I thank you guys for your support and ...constructive critism. **smiles**


and btw, I'm more worried than mad at my mom now because of her freakouts. they're getting more and more frequent, and unpredictable. she'll yell at NOTHING, and rant at me. she'll be in a good mood, then bitch me out.

maybe it's just the heat (let's hope) but I hope she's ok. i feel like something's wrong, and she won't tell me what it is. I'm worried

"A friend tells you what you want to hear; a real friend tells you what you need to hear"

you all know what 1-900-NUM-BERS are, right? (if not, it's ...naughty... phonelines, aka prostitution)

yeah. so, there's the newspaper around town (hell, it's everywhere) that is free and it has a lot of ads for dating, phone sex, hookers, and other stuff. you know, a "hookup" paper. actually, my parents met through it, when it was less slutty. I hope.

yeah, I grab them by the gross and use them to line my bunny's cage when I clean it. he just pisses on them, so if it's paper, I'll grab it (I once scared my dad when I grabbed a Gay paper, LOL)

so yeah. I'm cleaning my rabbit's cage today and put one of those in it. I moved it to have a less pornographic picture on top, and saw the ads.

i read some of them, most were stupid, along the lines of:
"Hot, sex E blonde
I'm hot,thin, 18 and I'll do NEthing 2 u! *hearts**
5'7" 115 lbs 36 DD chest"

fails to mention how desparate they must be to put an ad in that. and seriously, if someone is 5'7" and weighs 115 pounds and their chest is THAT big, they'd be like a stick with boobs.

but the best one was along the lines of my sample, but it described the girl as "classy" and "naughty" what the heck? you can't be classy and prostitute themselves
funny, though.



raccoons with domestic problems...weirdest thing ever...they'll kill me because I threw water balloons at them.

if I die, I'll give anyone who comments a body part. what part would YOU like?
thank you!
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Thursday, July 14, 2005

   like you want to hear my bitching


ok, sorry, but the last post was nonstop whining, you don't want that. I'll keep this short:

a.) I'm overdosing on Majosha
b.) I don't know if I like that movie The Hours or not
c.) I have discovered the best reality tv show ever: BRAT CAMP


and most importantly:
d.) Trent Reznor is da s(m)ex! (sorry but I always wanted to say that)
thank you!
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   you've got to be mutha f'ckin kidding me


warning: hardcore whining ahead

ok, I gotta say this RIGHT now because it has been pissing the crap out of me (not literally, although that would be a neat trick)

my mom has been SUCH A BITCH lately. I'm sorry, and I love her and all, but there's really no other way to put it in my mind.

just now, she made me look up costa rican time, and it turns out they are on the same time as Colorado, where we live. and I didn't even remember saying anything about it, but she starts bitching in that asshole attitude. you know the one.

the I TOLD YOU SO one.

i almost said, "fuck you" to her. and it's not just this. she calls me names, and laughs at me. the other day at the goddamn zoo it was like she was trying to make me look stupid or something.

and on tuesday, she acted just like my dad. I get the sense that she, too, is just trying to use me to get back at my dad (my dad uses me to get revenge on my mom)

she said "well, for school, your dad can take you clothes shopping because it's his turn to do it, and he said he would."

yeah, I know it's not fair to make my mom pay for everything. but you know what? it's not fair to me either because when he breaks that vow, just like he's always done, I'm the one who gets screwed.

it's always like this. whenever she gets fucking sick of me, she dumps me off with him. and he's skipped out on doing so many things that why should I believe he'd do this?

and before you get all preachy on how I have it good compared to some kids: I KNOW. I KNOW I DO! I could have drug addict parents, I could be poor, I could be an orphan, I could be a lot of worse things.

but you know what? I'm not but I still hurt like this because I'm stuck in the goddamn middle of two people so angry with each other, they hardly see me.

do you know what the mediator between my parents said? he said: your parents are doing all this to take care of you, but you're not really involved.

guess what, asshole? I AM. because to HIM they act like adults, but to me they act like angry, stupid children. I hate this, right now, I hate this, I wish I wasn't even fucking breathing

I wish I wasn't breathing. if I wasn't alive, if my heart wasn't beating, if my blood stopped flowing, if my mind wasn't firing neurons, then maybe, MAYBE I wouldn't have to be here, wallowing in self pity, something I do way too much, and I could be dead and not alive and the thoughts that keep me up for hours and hours and hours when I'm dead tired well, maybe they wouldn't come. maybe I could finally have some QUIET in my head.

crap, that's that, I'm sorry for wasting your time, and now, after my mom goes to bed, I think I am going to go cut on myself again because it's the only thing that makes this seem easy and I don't deal well with hardthank you!
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