Thursday, March 24, 2005

   stupid Julie
Julie is a moron. Julie is stupid. She always does something to mess something up. but sometimes she can make it right. unfortunately, all anybody ever gets is ONE chance to do the right thing. You can have a different chance to make something bad right, but you can't EVER go back and erase it. So just try to do the best you can and be nice, even if you don't wanna.

in other news, can you at least read this?


MY RESOLUTION: NOT TO BE MEAN ABOUT SOMETHING SOMEONE CAN'T HELP!thank you!
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Wednesday, March 23, 2005

   Renaissance Banquet
BLEAGH! School doesn't start for me till 9:05 am on wednesdays (YES!!!!) but since my mom works all early today, I have to get myself to school. my renaissance banquet is tonight, and I had to bring an assload of food. which sucks....it weighed sooo much

so I had NIGHT"s mom drive me to school....:D I got here at like 8:10 and I WAS STILL LATE! stupid useless necessities

I don't want to go to Chemistry, I hate that class. or at least what we're learning. It has math and MATH SUCKS

anyway, lol, I WAS SOOOOO HAPPY TODAY!!!! My friends all ate together, and nobody ditched me, and we were all talking like back in the old days...it was fun! at least one thing is turning up ok. tooo soon to say about anything else yet.

my cat almost smothered me this morning. I was sleeping with my face in the pillow(i could breathe tho) then the cat comes in and LAYS on my head. he was purring and everything. feh

well. banquet tonight. I don't have the best costume after all, but it's good. I like it. mew! I was nervos, but it'll be ok.


oh and as for our first tennis match, I LOST 0-6. how sad!!! but I just suck anyway!thank you!
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Monday, March 21, 2005

   I am the coolest
I am a genius! we have to figure out a product to market in Germany(for business class) and I just thought of this today! It wont really work, but I can invent a car and the...reactant...(to make it run) that will not run on oil. since gas is expensive in Germany, it's perfect! :D

anyway omg stop touching me....Jackass.....>.> crazy Nando

anyway anyway, tomorrow is our first tennis match, WISH ME LUCK!!! T.T

oh and to racists, I must ask: WHY do you think it matters what color a person's skin is? If you call yourself Christian, but you hate generalizations on grops of people, you should know: JESUS DIDN"T! WHY DO YOU?! BITCHESthank you!
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Sunday, March 20, 2005

   glue is for gluttons
GAH!!! what a crapp---ok

ok here's what happened:

I already spent all weekend at my dad's house. well, friday and Saturday night. and that's all I would be spending there anymore if he HADN'T pulled all the crap he did because of my mom working days

I didn't mind it, not really. But I wanted to go home about noon. My dad's like "I'll take you home after you do some laundry"

I haven't done laundry there in months. I take it to my mom's. so I dig up some dirty clothes that I don't really wear anymore, throw 'em in the wash, then take a shower, then get online. then I put my stuff in the dryer.

when it's done and put away, I gather my stuff and get ready to go. My dad has the NERVE to say: "If you start staying at my house three nights a week, I'll raise your allowence to $75 a month"

I was like WHAT THE FUCK! I said I'd think about it, but I was soooo pissed!

it's like, if I accepted, that'd be proof to him that all I care about is money. I DON"T. Does he think he can BUY my trust and love?

well, it ain't happenin'. I won't let my love or my trust or anything be bought for any amount of money! God, what was he thinking?! I'm his DAUGHTER, he shouldn't have even HAD to try to BRIBE me!!!!!

I was thinking, I'm just going to either tell him NO WAY, I'll continue to stay for 2 nights a week. Or would it be more...cunning?...to say "I'll stay 3 nights a week at your house, but I don't need the extra money"

The first would be what I really want to do, but I don't want to hurt my dad's feeling's either. I hate hurting people, and I can imagine how sad he will sound. Don't tell me "Just do what YOU want to" because I don't opperate like that, and I don't fucking need any advice from somebody who reads a lot of cliche things and thinks they know what they're saying. no offense I appreciate the care, but i want YOUR thoughts, not someone else's that you read somewhere and agree with.

anyway. I don't know if I can stand up to hearing/seeing my dad cry. or yell. I really don't want to spend a night there because it's hard on me. but i don't want to hurt his feelings... **sigh**

so anybody got any advice on what I should do? I think I should just run! I want to bolt. I wanted to run SOOO bad when he put me on the spot.

I could go on, but I'd run the risk of over-whining. sayounara for now, my leve!thank you!
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   kyuuu. for the lazy readers who want shortness, I'll bow:

most little middle schoolers are annoying, but the ones here are cool. you get cookies, good job!

also I like animals, I saw 2 different foxes today, they're so pretty!!! I WANT ONE! please? anyway, they were so little....**glomp**

who's seen bend it like beckham? good movie.

Lay-turs!thank you!
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   stupidness of ...stuff
kyu. today was decent. I got NIGHT the rest of her bday presents, my mom a book for Easter, my friend a teddy bear, and then I got ribbons for my hair, shoes, sweats, and 2 shirts

one of my shirts has a logo for a fake bar on it, and it's the least slutty thing I could find. wth, people PROUD of being whores? I don't understand. But anyway, i had to FORCE myself into the stores..I was in search of cheap clothes, and unfortunately, hot topic doesn't have it. oh well.

anyway, do you like my new look? I do. cuteness! but stupid av. won't work. I'll fix it later.

ok, onto a SHORT note: what's with this obsession with beauty? I mean, yeah, I wanna be beautiful, and I'm not. It sometimes bothers me, but otherwise, I don't give a crap because my mind is better than the idiot girl going "omg these are the cutest shoes ever!" that I saw today

and what's with cutest baby contests? if the kid doesn't win, and is old enough to remember, their self esteem would totally be ruined. there was a poor little girl CRYING because she lost a baby beauty contest today! ARGH! every child is special in their own way, and have good and bad qualities and should not be judged by a fat old bitch whose thong hangs out of her pants because she wants to be "cool." damn.

that much said, I went to hell today, and i wasn't even dead. Mall packed with screaming kids in strollers...@.@ NOT COOL. anyway, this is too long already. toodles

ps. to those of you who have managed to attain the ever changing idealism of beauty at the cost of your brain and soul, good job. I'm proud of you thank you!
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Friday, March 18, 2005

   story
Sasaya: Hi long time since we were all here together, ne?

Goku: yups! so you got any food?

Hakkai: Goku, that's rude. we're just barely here

Gojyou: Screw the food, you got booze, cigs, and sex?

Sasaya: Food yes. 'Booze, cigs, and sex' could go all shove it up their ass

Goku: FOOD! **glomps her**

Sasaya: Let go you freaky monkey man! my side already hurts...

Sanzo: SHUT UP!

Gojyo: what's wrong Mr. Priesty?

Sanzo: Sasaya's school makes nasty ass food!

Hakkai: well, it IS a public high school

Sasaya: oh, my poor Baby! are you o--- wait. o.O why were you at my school??

Sanzo: ...

Goku: **eating random food from the fridge** wan sam? (want some?)

Gojyou: IS THAT FUZZ?

Goku: **feeds it to Sanzo** it's yummy and it'll make you feel better

Sasaya: o.O !!! that was the CAT's wet food!

Sanzo: -.- ugh

Goku: lucky cat

Sanzo:**runs for the toilet**

Gojyou: whoa, WATCH IT!

Sanzo: **vomits**

Gojyou: |< YOU BASTARD

Hakkai: oh my

Goku: Oh GROSS, Sanzo!

Sasaya: gah! I'll get some towels...and clean clothes for you, Gojyou...**gags**

Gojyou: **thinking** that bastard is DEADthank you!
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   mew it's corny
aloha. here's my story in a shortened version:

I used to be like really pure and innocent and slightly evil but a generally spoiled, average kid. Then I get to middle school, still spoiled, but I wanted to grow up so bad. I mean, I had my friends with me and we thought we were SO mature (so NOT) and then everyone left me in eighth grade. seriously. my REAL friends went to other schools, and my false friends talked shit.I still hung around with them but yeah, I didn't like them. I was alone in my mind and I was too needy back then. I kind of shut myself off and found some other people. they were NOT good people. and then I kinda blocked this out. ok I really forgot it. but I wanted to fit in, as any teenager full of angst does. so....ok this is hard to say...
so I....welll, I won't tell you. but what I did was REALLY REALLY REALLY bad. not murder. but I didn't really know what I was doing. I just wanted someone to accept me, and I wanted to grow up so fast. it was a mistake. anyway
Last year, I made the mistake of trusting people and it blew up in my face. NOBODY wants to talk to me anymore. NOBODY wants to be near me. I don't really want to be so alone, but if I must, I will be, and I won't do what i did 2 years ago again. I mean, i've never been KISSED but...>< anyway, I don't want to grow up any more, and I want to stay a kid. I want the people I love to acknowledge my presence, not just blow me off. if they do, that's ok. I'll take it. (although, today I did what they've been doing to me for months back at them) I'm not so good with people. I love SO many people SO much I would give my life to them whether they want it or not, and I don't care if they would do the same for me. That's the way my life always is, though: I'm looking for love, I just don't know how to do it, and I wind up loving the wrong people.

anyway, this isn't just whining, it has a moral:

Don't be eager to grow up. Don't be eager to be popular. You're going to be happier being yourself and ignoring what people think of you. Don't get me wrong, we all need one good true friend, and I have my sista, so I'm cool. If you DO want to be popular, just don't do anything you'll regret later, or that could even POSSIBLY ruin your entire life. You're better than that.thank you!
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   RAWR
I need something to say yet I have nothing.

oh yeah, renaissance banquet on Wednesday!!! I can't wait, it'll be so much fun! I am going to be Antoinette Bourignon...:D

and tuesday is my first tennis game. I want a robo suit to beat the crap out of montbello. well, no I suck. but anyway, it's nervous...I never played as a team before, and most NEVER in a miniskirt...**tugs it** damn you

yeah yeah. hey, do you make friends easily? believe it or not, I do not. I have NO idea on how to approach people. I'm so shy with strangers when I'm by myself, I'll like, hang far away, and not do anything but look around and then turn REALLY really RED when they talk to me

I'm so shy :Dthank you!
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Thursday, March 17, 2005

   crapsicles
question: WHO LIKES GARBAGE? i do. I'll tell you more once somebody figures out what the hell I'm talking about :D

anyway, **looks at clock** Holy Shit, batman! I gotta go pick up NIGHT from school. and see her cute little friends (and that bitch who wants to pick a fight. fat whore)

oh yesh

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!thank you!
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