Sunday, January 16, 2005

   Tech-No-Goth
yes, yes Boysies and girlies! NIGHT and I are gonna start a band. I'm excited, it'll be so fun!!! I mean, we're gonna suck, but fun is fun! :) I am going to write a song tomorrow... i never wrote a song before, except for a country one when I was 10 because I didn't know any other tune for it.

lol so yeah. we're gonna be called Tech-No-Goth

and i'm really tired, so latersthank you!
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Saturday, January 15, 2005

   Saikano
has anyone seen this one? it's really good. sad. and pretty story. beautiful art! :) anyway

and these are my three favorite pictures from it:
this was my second choice for my sig. at Ghost of Society:



this one is the one I used because it fit the words better:



and of course, the classic picture of romance:



goodness. yes

now it's time to go post some Henrika fanfiction on ff.net (yeah...I'm a freak for: No matter how it ended :P)thank you!
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Friday, January 14, 2005

   hurt
http://www.angelfire.com/music6/rejectedsoul/nin.html that's a link to Hurt by Nine Inch Nails. that's one of my favorite songs in the world. It's SOOO sad. it tears me up to listen to it. I hope you can listen to it; it doesn't require downloads. anyway. the lyrics are:NINE INCH NAILS LYRICS

"Hurt"

"I hurt myself today
to see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
the only thing that's real
the needle tears a hole
the old familiar sting
try to kill it all away
but I remember everything

what have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away in the end
you could have it all
my empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of shit
upon my liar's chair
full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
beneath the stains of time
the feeling disappear
you are someone else
I am still right here

what have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away in the end

you could have it all
my empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
if I could start again
a million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way"

that songs reminds me of me. the self mutilation thing, the line: "everyone I know/goes away in the end" is like how life is.

see, I had friends, but one is leaving schools, one won't talk to me, one would rather hang with other friends, one is never around, one left, and the others just ditch me all the time. when I went to the counselor, she said she would help, and she didn't. my mom said she would take me to get better, but now she's acting like nothing happened. it's not fair for me to be so selfish and whiny, but I can't keep my thoughts all bottled up; i tried that and almost died. it's just...i want to help everyone. but i can't even help myself. why can't I just die? it would be easy; it would save us all some trouble. it would free me. I feel like I'm losing my mind...thank you!
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   danger: manic kid with rabies coming through
ugh. that friend gives me a headache. today, in the morning, she wouldn't even look at me, and then in the afternoon, she's my friend? wtf! i don't want to NOT be her friend, and we'll probably get closer again after another friend leaves, but still...it stings.

anyway. lol. what was I gonna say?

I forget....

well, Join my website!!!!!!!!!!!! we need members, and for every new member we get this month, I am donating a dollar to tsunami relief.

PLEASE JOIN MY WEBSITE!!!thank you!
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Thursday, January 13, 2005

   Beware of harsh language
Guys: I'm not talking about any MyO members, so don't think i'm mad at you.

ok, so here's my problem: a certain friend is such a bitch. she's so fucking condescending...like, I was saying that hawks arent scary, and maybe I sounded condescending too, but she's like fucking "well, if it was coming AT you, you'd be scared too"

well, I dunno. but she always acts like she's so fucking goddammed brave, not afraid of anything. once, she's told me, "You're afraid of everything. want to go to the butterfly pavillion and hold some spiders?"

I should have told her, "Only if you hold a cockroach"

why is she being such a FUCKING bitch?! it pisses the fuck out of me.

and she used to be cool, not caring what anybody thought of her, but then she started looking all preppy. wearing makeup. it's like, "what the fuck? if you wear makeup, you're caring what people think about you." i mean, yeah I wear makeup, so i care a little. but

but it just pisses me off. and then, she never NEVER talks to me. we don't even look at each other anymore. we used to be best friends, but now, we're just like whatever to each other.

when she does talk, it's never to me, and it's always in spanish, so it's like she's purposely excluding me, since I'm the only one who doesn't speak any fucking spanish. I don't want to, but I think I'm getting to the point where I hate her. it is just really sad. I think she hates me too. T.Tthank you!
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Wednesday, January 12, 2005

   Hi Luciana
Hi Luciana, what's up? how's the search going? finding any good lyrics? I'm glad you don't call me Jackie any more too....

lol....PSST! WHISPER LUCI WHISPER!!!! Haha, lol, you was mumbling...

bye.thank you!
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   Oh, My poor friends....
Things wrong with my friends:

NIGHT aka DJ T: She's really sick, with strep throat....T.T I hope she gets better soon...she's my bestest friend

Luciana: she dumped her BF and is looking up "cute black guys" but gets anime people

Heather: she's depressed and doesn't sleep

Jackie: she's changing schools...

Mayte: she's too quiet for her own good.

the guys: they all ignore me!!!! >:( why won't they talk to me anymore?

my theory on why I'm a loser: I'm fat :Dthank you!
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Tuesday, January 11, 2005

   ...and nachos for all
hello, all. Sasaya thinks sasaya should start talking in the third person, yes? Sasaya wants to know what you think...No. I won't do that.

I love DIGIMON! more eps on Jetix tonight. Oh yeah, and next week, Shinzo is coming. I liked it 3 years ago. It's pretty good, and now it's back! YAY!thank you!
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Monday, January 10, 2005

   hello all!
hiya, I'm sorta nervous, I have to read a story I wrote for a class in front of everyone. THAT"S SCARY!!!! it's got rape in it a hell of a lot. I don't want people to think badly of me. >< ooh well.

in other news, I LOVE DIGIMON! DIGIMON DIGIMON DIGIMON!thank you!
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Sunday, January 9, 2005

   never you mind that
[img]http://www.angelicstar.net/cosplay/reference/myoubi-ref2.jpg[/img]
Last night I awoke,
You were standing by my side.
Motionless and frozen,
With eyes open wide.
Your lips were slowly moving
But they didn´t make a sound.
Like mine three days ago
When they put you in the groundthank you!
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