Thursday, November 11, 2004

   hrm
well, Yassir Arafat, palestinian leader, has died. I'm just wondering what will happen in Israel now...It's kind of a sad situation, you know? i mean, their religions can't get along, but they should. its my belief that the Israelis sorta pick on the Palestinians, but suicide bombers are quite extreme. I just hope that everything works out peacefull for both and equal for both sides. maybe then it could show us that maybe, just maybe, its possible for the world...thoughts and concerns, or no cares whatsoever? i care because I'm in the international program, and personally, I love it :-pthank you!
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   oh NOOOOOOOO~
yeah...it sucks...and School IS important...to me...lol...well, see, if I fail a class, I have to make it up, or I don't graduate...T.T and I didn't tell my mom about the f...just the d in chemistry...**weeps** but I can make it up if I work my ass off...and I can't make anything up because it's too late... T.T what the fuck is wrong with me?!


MUST MAKE UP BAD GRADES...cuz, this isn't getting a couple bad grades on an assignment, it's getting bad grades in a class...as in getting an f or d on the report card....**dies**thank you!
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Wednesday, November 10, 2004

   yo yo yo my home pups
well, I am screwed....I have my first F. that will teach me to procrastiinate...>< crap. it's an f in a CLASS not ASSIGNMENT **dies**

this is crap, though, because I was going to go to a study session and then the fucking Goddamned teacher FORGOT about it. yeah, its my fault I have an f, but if she won't let students come in to help themselves get up, thats bull shit...

also, I have a test on Asia...but that;s ok...I might pass :)

only thing is, with that class, the kids are SO FUCKING LOUD. the other teacher came in and asked us to shut it when we had the sub...i can see why, our table was quiet, but the rest of the class pissed me off because they couldn't control their voices

alsoalso, we had a tornado siren during lunch, it was funny...

on a happier note, downtown was moderately fun, and one of my friends left a secret to methank you!
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Sunday, November 7, 2004

   bleaugh, itchy-ness
ALERT:
GUYS BE GLAD YOU DON"T GOTTA WEAR BRAS!!!!!!!! THEY ITCH!!!!!!!!!

seriously, I'm so itchy, I'm dying..**rolls around on floor**

well, thanks for all the words of endearment. Love ya lots...:)

so many nice peoplies...T.T

anyway, who likes music? I do!!!!! my fave song is "46 and 2" by Tool. Tool is my favorite group...so awesome...but i LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE gothic music from the radio@aol it's so pretty

anyway, today I got these earing that are like a black hoop, except the hope only goes about 2/3 of the way full circle, and has a red cross in the middle.

I also bought a Fruits Basket calendar and a really soft Naruto pillow at the nearest anime store.

me and my friends are going downtown after school on tuesday. we're so lucky its just a close walk. I have about $150 from birthday money to blow, so wooo!!!!! I am probably going to buy some pants with red, a shirt to match, this one dress shirt I really wanted, or maybe a dress, from hot topic. I love their clothes.

anyway, I have church tomorrow, so...laterz!!!!!

hopthank you!
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Saturday, November 6, 2004

   gr zzzzzzzzzzzzzz
well, I feel better. I didn't talk it out with my friends, but I am not angry any more. i just sorta gave it up and accepted it for what it is. I mean, if i think too much about it i get sad, and when I feel certain that one of my friends is mad at me, i get sad, but right now, i feel a lot lot better. just tired....mewwwwwwwww and also...i get pissed off easy. despite what you believe, it isn't pms. i seriously think i have manic depression...thank you!
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Thursday, November 4, 2004

   more unhappiness
I am so mad at my friends, they just keep pissing me off. I mean, they mean well, but the one just fuckin...UGH..I don't want to be mad, either. I still like them. I'm just sorta mad...and depressed


I can't stand these feelings. I think I'm losing my mind. I mean, I don't want to be mad at them, but it makes me sad that the one doesn't trust me. she doesn't think that I'll understand, or that I won't be a bitch.

and then, the other, is trying to get what's wrong outta me, (i haven't been talking) and I'm just like, uh uh. then she says I can trust her, and let me tell you why I can't:

she was so "worried" that she was telling me what was happening with my so called best friend. and that friend told her not to tell. it's fucking stupid.

It's tempting to just tell her that I know, and yell at her. well not yell. I don't do that. and I'll tell her what the other friend does. I just don't want to st art trouble, but i"m having such a hard time with this, I'm going insane.
I mean. I still "love" them, but I'm just so unhappy. right now, I'm almost fucking crying.

and then, I am just like, i don't know. I'm so confused. I want you to help, please!!!!







thank you!
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Wednesday, November 3, 2004

   unhappiness
i was so unhappy the end of school today...I just couldn't stop crying and I really had no reasons

although, my "friends" tell other people secrets. I can undstand that, but they never share a secret with me. they tell everyone at the same time...I just..I dont know. i feel like i dont have any real friends. NIGHT is, and my friends are my friends, and the ones at school are, but it hurt so much, i just want to drift away from them. i want to be needed like i need them. i always confide everything in them, but they always ignore me...**cries**

omg. my stomache hurts...and I just wanna die...or be needed. i hate that feeling

plus, I hate it when people always bother me and call attention to the fact that something's wrong. i just want to be left alone. it's like, you were ignoring me when you thought i was ok, now you pay attention when something is wrong? leave me alone, unless it's more than pity or guilt or "being a friend"!!!!!

also we were playing a game and these people were freaking out because my friend suppossedly cheated. whatever. it was just a fuckin game anyway. i almost walked to the board and wrote :it's just a game!"

meow. i love cats

now I'm tired, night nightthank you!
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Tuesday, November 2, 2004

   these boots weren't made for walkin'...
ugh. yesterday, I had to walk 20 minutes to the light rail, which is public transportation train. almost missed that. then I got to the station I was supposed to get off at, and found out the bus I was suppossed to take doesn't stop there. I wound up walking for 45 freakin minutes to get to my house!!!!!!!!!!!! in big shoes!!!!! >:( plus, stupid me...I shoulda just waited... **Sobs** then when I got home, I had to pee so bad, I almost peed my pants!!!!! grrrr

but i could not sleep after my 2 hour nap. I was up till 1. **weeps**thank you!
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Monday, November 1, 2004

   Yo!
my party was a success! it was fun! i'll write more later and put up pictures...when they gets developed...ok...bell's gonna ring, and I'm sleepy. bye bye!!! :)thank you!
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Saturday, October 30, 2004

   Lmao

What stupid celebrity are you destined to kill? by daydreamer8852
Name
Birthdate
You killed
With a
On	June 21, 2021
Quiz created with MemeGen!

You ideal Gravitation guy is Sakuma! YEAH!!!! **dies of laughing**


The Gravitation Dating Game
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Intellect! Brainy you ^^. You are hight
intelligent. You love riddles and to solve
them. You think logic and you have a great
creativity.


Why do people admire you?
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Your tears are lavender. You are a dreamer. You
dream of lands with lilac skies, glimmering
stars, and rushing crystal waters. You long for
love and companionship. You feel as if your
young years are seeping away through your
brittle fingers and that you are not living
your youth to the fullest. Your beliefs are
love, passion, togetherness, and the power of
two. Although you are quite the passionate
type, your true love has not yet entered your
life, though you have before thought your
school crush as your true love. You cry when
you think yourself to be all alone in this
emmense, mysterious world, but you never stop
to take notice that you are surrounded by warm,
loving people who would be willing to embrace
you in their kindness and chase away your
shadowy thoughts. Just keep on believing and
your imagination land will someday become a
reality.


What Color Are Your Tears
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Ghost of Society pssst! visit my music forum and join it!!!

The Cure Lyrics

"The Empty World"

As stiff as toys
And tall as men
And swaying like the wind torn trees
She talked about the empty world
With eyes like poison birds

She talked about the armies
That marched inside her head
And how they made her dreams go bad
But oh how happy she was
How proud she was
To be fighting in the war
In the empty world thank you!
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