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• texhnolyze23
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Female
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• 2004-08-02
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• 5th grade~ish
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• i'm good with animals
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Friday, May 11, 2007
Fuck damn
it doesn't even fucking matter, it seems like. No one around here seems to care, or understand. They just do their best to piss me off.
I left school early today and spent 7 hours doing community service at the shelter. it was good.
But at home, poor Lain is dying. Right now, it's 12:08 am, and i doubt that when i wake up, she will be alive
Not that it matters cos fucking shit why is everything such a fucking mess???
Not that it matters a lot, because in 17 hours, if she doesn't die before then, we're gonna put her to sleep.
Not that it matters, except that she's suffering so much she can barely breathe. She's so emaciated -her muscles are so eaten away- she barely fucking blinks. She can't walk, or jump, or even purr. She can't cry in pain. I don't know how long it's been since she last could eat. it's breaking my heart so fucking bad to watch her die right now.
It hurts so fucking much to just watch her suffer, i want her to just die so she won't have to hurt. I tell her "just go to sleep" and she tries, but she's an animal, and unlike people, they will live til life is taken from them. animals don't purposely kill themselves.
and if you say "she's just a cat" i say "FUCK YOU." I don't give a shit right now; i love her. Guess how fucking often i'm alone? 98% of the time. Without her and the other pets, i'd be so crushed.
I love them, and i understand she's just a cat, and I know everything dies. I don't deny death, but fucking shit, i don't want to say goodbye, and fucking shit i hate to see her fucking suffer.thank you!
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