Monday, May 21, 2007

   i am so tired of pretending of wishing this was ending i'm so tired of it all
well. what was today? a mess~~ Literally.

Spent the majority of today cleaning, and being hungry. Have you ever got that hunger pangs where you really wanna eat but nothing sounds good and you don't feel like eating?

annoying.

So yeah. I cleaned, and then...my relatives arrived, about 2:30 PM.


i'm bored....witless. seriously.

I just erased a huge rant.

oooh I visited Antonio's new house, his dad's. I love his dad! ^^ he's so nice, even when he's drunk. he kept thanking my mom for "taking care of his little boy, even when he is bad."

and they have this dog, Nemo 2, he was HUGE!!!! almost as big as me, when standing on his hind legs!!! his head was super huge...I think he's got a bit of pit bull in him; but he's really nice and friendly.

I hate how people give pits a bad rep; some bad dogs bite a kid, it's the whole breed that's bad. that's animal ...breedism!! breedist bastards.

I think i'm gonna go british and say "racialist."

I like this song...it fits me quite well
THREE DAYS GRACE LYRICS

"Animal I Have Become"

I can't escape this hell
So many times i've tried
But i'm still caged inside
Somebody get me through this nightmare
I can't control myself

So what if you can see the darkest side of me?
No one will ever change this animal I have become
Help me believe it's not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal
(This animal, this animal)

I can't escape myself
(I can't escape myself)
So many times i've lied
(So many times i've lied)
But there's still rage inside
Somebody get me through this nightmare
I can't control myself

So what if you can see the darkest side of me?
No one will ever change this animal I have become
Help me believe it's not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal I have become
Help me believe it's not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal

Somebody help me through this nightmare
I can't control myself
Somebody wake me from this nightmare
I can't escape this hell

(This animal, this animal, this animal, this animal, this animal, this animal, this animal)

So what if you can see the darkest side of me?
No one will ever change this animal I have become
Help me believe it's not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal I have become
Help me believe it's not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal
(This animal I have become)


L'ame Immortelle
Voiceless
I watch the stars collapse at night
When demons haunt me once again
In the sky, their death shines bright
Every loss brings a new gain

The peace of voiceless darkness
Silence voices who scream at me
And through the gentle night- time
I gain the knowledge, that I´m free

When you´re in your darkest hours
Seek the embrace of the night
Open up to all its powers
I`ll show you what`s behind the light

We`re blinded by the brightest shining
And see not what`s behind
So we watch our own declining
Life, that made us far too blind

We will not see the pleasures offered
When they´re not obvious to see
Beauty´s just what they will look at
Close the door and drop the key


NIN
Wish

This is the first day of my last days
i built it up now take it apart climbed up real high now fall down real far
no need for me to stay the last thing left i just threw it away
i put my faith in god and my trust in you
now there's nothing more fucked up i could do
wish there was something real
wish there was something true
wish there was something real in this world full of you
i'm the one without a soul i'm the one with this big fucking hole
no new tale to tell twenty-six years on my way to hell
gotta listen to your big time hard line bad luck fist fuck
don't you think you're having all the fun
you know me i hate everyone
wish there was something real
wish there was something true
wish there was something real in this world full of you
i want to but i can't turn back but i want to thank you!
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