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• texhnolyze23
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• Sanzo_no_heart
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Birthday
• 1989-10-23
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Female
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• keep portland weird!
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• 2004-08-02
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• irresponsible semi-adult
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• Julie
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• graduating high school with honors, speak/write/read fair Japanese, travel
Anime Fan Since
• 5th grade~ish
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• となりのトトロ (Totoro), Howl's Moving Castle, Spirited Away, Princess Mononoke, Perfect Blue, and Akira.
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• save the rainforest, of course
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• music, sleeping, reading, writing, drawing, walking, animals
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• i'm good with animals
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Wednesday, December 26, 2007
I miss church...
okay. Scratch that. I don't miss CHURCH.
I miss going to church, and seeing my friends. I miss the carefree youth, the fighting for fun, and causing trouble. Honestly, I was a good girl. But not at that church. I was the "harlot" of the community. Kissing the boys since I was 4, teasing them because they were virgins, because I was a girl, and self-assured while self-destructing, pretty enough, the "cool" one, the independent, rebellious one. I wasn't really that sort of kid. but I was the bastard, the outcast, but I had friends.
I miss running with them, the boys. I miss babysitting. I miss the innocence. Everyone called me "such a pretty girl" and I hated it, so I started to wear all black and be scary (to them) but the pastor was good, she didn't judge me one way or another, she was good, I miss her. I really do.
Back there, I was different, radical. And yet, I never did any harm to anyone. The kids loved me, my friends loved me, my mom loved me even on the mornings we fought like we always fight, and God loved me, and Jesus loved me, they forgave me.
I'm no longer a part of that world, but I want to go back. I will, one day. This summer, or something. I have to. I want to see them. I want to see if they recognize me. I really do.
**sighs**thank you!
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