myOtaku.com
• Join Today!

My Pages
• Home
• Portfolio
• Guestbook
• Quiz Results

Contact Me

AIM
• texhnolyze23
E-mail
• Click Here
Website
• Click Here
Yahoo! Messenger
• Sanzo_no_heart

Vitals

Birthday
• 1989-10-23
Gender
• Female
Location
• keep portland weird!
Member Since
• 2004-08-02
Occupation
• irresponsible semi-adult
Real Name
• Julie

Personal

Achievements
• graduating high school with honors, speak/write/read fair Japanese, travel
Anime Fan Since
• 5th grade~ish
Favorite Anime
• となりのトトロ (Totoro), Howl's Moving Castle, Spirited Away, Princess Mononoke, Perfect Blue, and Akira.
Goals
• save the rainforest, of course
Hobbies
• music, sleeping, reading, writing, drawing, walking, animals
Talents
• i'm good with animals




Jump to User:

myOtaku.com: Sasaya


Monday, February 25, 2008

   all good things must come to a close
I still love him, but i suspect he doesn't love me anymore. or that he's so frustrated with this long distance bullshit he's gonna end it. I don't want to be with someone who resents me, who doesn't want to be with me, and most of all, who doesn't love me.

Not saying I want it to end. Just saying, if it's going to, I want it to be fast and shart, like a bandaid or cutting myself. not that I will. Oh, no. I've found a new remedy for my troubles: drown them in cheap, shitty beer.

Since I was incredibly depressed last night, Chris and I got SMASHED. It was exactly what I needed. Normally, I'm gone after about 3 beers, so 5...WHOO!!!!

and it was perfect. When I was bordering on that terrible, "super depressed" drunk mode, I just passed out.

I vaguely remember half stripping. Because, I was wearing a flannel shirt, tank top, boobie bra (a hot topic one that gives me massive cleavage) because I need to do laundry, and jeans. Since I have a freckle on my hip that I love, I was pulling down my jean line to look at it. It's fine, just a little risque. Also, I took off the flannel shirt.

Poor Chris (I suspect might like me) was pulling my shirt up and Derek, the sober saint, was just laughing his ass off. Eventually I put the flannel back on. I slept with my pants and flannel shirt off, but the tank top still on. When I woke up, I looked down and said, "holy God, I have tits. hanging out there for the world, too."

xD LMAO when I was on my 5th beer, Chris was telling me that I should take it slowly because I was WAY too smashed, and telling me how my body absorbs alcohol, and that I would throw up if I didn't and stuff...but he was extremely drunk himself, and stumbling and slurring and all. I looked at him and said, "I shouldn't listen to YOU! You're DRUNK!"

xD love that line.

I know, I know. it's a terrible, retarded, stupid way to act, dangerous to do, and a waste of my everything. But dammit. I want to forget these trivial things that fuck me up. I want to have fun and I did. I don't need alcohol to have fun or anything, I'm not an alcoholic, and I don't let it get in the way of my life. I'm going to watch it better.

But I have so little time with Chris and Zack. and honestly, I DON'T regret it. I had fun, and I so very rarely have fun it feels like.

I think i'm always just looking for the next thing to pass my time...thank you!
Comments (0)

« Home