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• 1989-10-23
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• graduating high school with honors, speak/write/read fair Japanese, travel
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• 5th grade~ish
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• となりのトトロ (Totoro), Howl's Moving Castle, Spirited Away, Princess Mononoke, Perfect Blue, and Akira.
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myOtaku.com: Sasaya


Tuesday, May 6, 2008

   home...sick
I haven't wanted to go home this badly in forever

I feel so lonely, isolated, and sick. I miss my room and bed and pets and friends and family and Antonio.

I miss my yard, my kitchen, my basement, familiarity and connections. I love Portland, but God knows there's no place like home.

I miss my non-meddling friends, even though everything's changed.

When I think of everything that has changed in the last year, everything I've lost, everything that's going to change and I'm going to lose in the coming year, and all that's slowly slipping away right now...I've gained things, too, but not, as I see it, as much as I've lost...

Growing up and all, but goodbye is so hard. I'm probably going to lose my cats within a year, my grandparents, and Antonio because sometimes I get so paranoid that he's cheating on me it's all I can think of.

If he's cheating, fuck it, fuck him, he's trash to me. But that's a horrible thing to say, especially about someone I care so much about. I won't be with someone who would/does cheat on me, who doesn't care about me, but for 3 years I've been with him.

And then, I'll be moving here in September. So, I'll have no home for real. I'll be somewhere in between. My mom is moving to Indiana in like a year and a half...

sorry. just had to vent...thank you!
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