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• texhnolyze23
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• 1989-10-23
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Female
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• keep portland weird!
Member Since
• 2004-08-02
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• irresponsible semi-adult
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• Julie
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• graduating high school with honors, speak/write/read fair Japanese, travel
Anime Fan Since
• 5th grade~ish
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• となりのトトロ (Totoro), Howl's Moving Castle, Spirited Away, Princess Mononoke, Perfect Blue, and Akira.
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• save the rainforest, of course
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• music, sleeping, reading, writing, drawing, walking, animals
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• i'm good with animals
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Friday, March 18, 2005
mew it's corny
aloha. here's my story in a shortened version:
I used to be like really pure and innocent and slightly evil but a generally spoiled, average kid. Then I get to middle school, still spoiled, but I wanted to grow up so bad. I mean, I had my friends with me and we thought we were SO mature (so NOT) and then everyone left me in eighth grade. seriously. my REAL friends went to other schools, and my false friends talked shit.I still hung around with them but yeah, I didn't like them. I was alone in my mind and I was too needy back then. I kind of shut myself off and found some other people. they were NOT good people. and then I kinda blocked this out. ok I really forgot it. but I wanted to fit in, as any teenager full of angst does. so....ok this is hard to say...
so I....welll, I won't tell you. but what I did was REALLY REALLY REALLY bad. not murder. but I didn't really know what I was doing. I just wanted someone to accept me, and I wanted to grow up so fast. it was a mistake. anyway
Last year, I made the mistake of trusting people and it blew up in my face. NOBODY wants to talk to me anymore. NOBODY wants to be near me. I don't really want to be so alone, but if I must, I will be, and I won't do what i did 2 years ago again. I mean, i've never been KISSED but...>< anyway, I don't want to grow up any more, and I want to stay a kid. I want the people I love to acknowledge my presence, not just blow me off. if they do, that's ok. I'll take it. (although, today I did what they've been doing to me for months back at them) I'm not so good with people. I love SO many people SO much I would give my life to them whether they want it or not, and I don't care if they would do the same for me. That's the way my life always is, though: I'm looking for love, I just don't know how to do it, and I wind up loving the wrong people.
anyway, this isn't just whining, it has a moral:
Don't be eager to grow up. Don't be eager to be popular. You're going to be happier being yourself and ignoring what people think of you. Don't get me wrong, we all need one good true friend, and I have my sista, so I'm cool. If you DO want to be popular, just don't do anything you'll regret later, or that could even POSSIBLY ruin your entire life. You're better than that.thank you!
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