Sunday, August 28, 2005

   read the first 4 paragraphs, if nothing else


that's a neat looking bunny. i want to pet it.

so, whatcha beeen up to? me not much. reading Memoirs of a Geisha and it's a really sad, heartbreaking book. poor girl! in some ways, though, it's kinda bad, though I can't put my finger on why.

also, i've been watching Neon Genesis Evangelion. It's pretty good. Episode 5 is crazy. I can't believe Rei didn't get mad that he stomped into her apartment, oggled her, fondled her, and won't stop pestering her. plus, that Shinji won't stop crying. it's like, "STFU!"

anyway, I won a Saiyuki fanart contest for NIGHT's club. I was the only one who entered, but still! I WON BY DEFAULT! haha! oh, and the pic is up in my fanart. it's nataku, but not very good. hee hee

you should join NIGHT's club, for real. just send her a pm. she probably won't bite you if you say you wanna join. and if you don't know about Saiyuki, PM her anyway. just say you want to learn. there's only like 5 people in her club, so...>.> please Join!

Thursday, my mom didn't feel so good. she said it was because she ate the chicken pot pie, which made her sick on monday, too, but I think it was more because thursday was the 5 year anniversary since her little brother died in a motorcycle accident.

did I ever tell you about my uncle, Ted? He was kind of messed up. He'd experimented with bad..drugs, had been an alcoholic, drank too much, and did a lot of stupid shit. however, he was trying to become better. he was a nice guy, i guess. i was only like 11 when he died.

in case you didn't know, i don't really get along with anyone in my mom's family. My younger cousins like me, (Carrie, who's 14, Nick, who's...12? and Mare, who's...10?) a lot. they always hang out by me and love for me to play with them and tell them stories. they used to drive me nuts because Nick and Mare, who are sibs, tried to kill each other, and Carrie and me were just like "uhhh"

but yeah. My aunt, uncles, and their spouses are ok, most of em, i guess. they don't really like me or talk to me or anything. Aunt Gail Marie talks to me the most, but she's really condescending and ignores me after I talk to her.

My older cousins, with the exception of Brian, don't talk to me at all. And Brian doesn't really, only because he and I like anime. yeah, the rest of them kind of ignore me all together.

and don't get me started on my grandma. she called me a bastard, so what does that tell you? it's funny, that whenever she calls, and will talk to my mom, she won't STFU, but with me, it's "hi, how are you? that's good, I'm good, well, goodbye" My grandpa is just so out of it, it doesn't matter. he's never been mean to me, though. just likes to send me guns and ammo magazines

you know how I said my little cousins used to get on my nerves? well, i'd tell my grandma to make them leave me alone, and she goes, "well, they like you so much and they hardly ever get to see you! blah blah blah just deal with it. they never get to see you"

so I told her "well, you guys never get to see me, either. Not you, or grandpa, or my aunts or uncles or cousins, but none of them ever wants to spend time with me. nor do i have to talk to them, so is that saying you guys don't like me?"

she didn't say anything, so then I left, and was about to jump off the roof (it's a 3 story house) but my lil cousins grabbed me and locked me in the closet until I was calm.

anyway, Ted wasn't any different, really. nice enough, but quiet to me. he let me alone, but didn't ignore me if i was around. I remember the last time we visited him

we were visiting IN, and he was showing us around and showing us all this stuff he had planned about for after he died. then, like 2 days later, my uncle Lloyd called and said "have you heard?" then it was like "about what?" and blah blah blah, he's been in an accident.

we rushed to the hospital, and then i couldn't go see him. my mom took me to my cousin Carrie and Nolan's house, then we were hanging, then my uncle died.

it tore my mom apart, and my grandparents. and his son, i think it really fucked him up, because since then, he's had a lot of times where he's nearly gotten killed, like by alcohol poisoning.

and yeah, it bothers them a lot. is it wrong that i didn't cry? my grandma tried to guilt me into crying, but since i didn't, they wouldn't let me sit with the family. i don't blame them, but it was hard seeing them all crying so much.

anyway, it doesn't bother me now, but it bothers my mom a lot. sad, ne?

bah. i wasted a lot of time, sorrythank you!
Comments (3)