Monday, August 7, 2006

   ever heard of IMVU?
it's this really interesting chat/im site where you make up a 3D avatar and chat with other members... it's free and pretty fun! my friend likes it a lot...

If you ever decide to join, my UN is Uneleglia, and the site is IMVU.com

anyway, my mom's been all angry about things because my dad decided to go on a 6 hour date saturday instead of spend the time with me.

I was all angry because my dad has refused to give me an allowence. It's not because i need a job, which i do. It's not because i've been a brat or a slut. And It's NOT the money that i'm angry about.

My dad has started claiming -bitching- that i don't spend 3 nights a week at his house any more (I used to). He says the only reason I DON'T spend the night there on weds. is because of "a scheme by my mother to get more child support money." (NOT TRUE)

I Said, "No, it's not! It's just hard on me to spend a night in the middle of the week here. It's too hard for school!"

I probably should have elaborated that I mean, I have to come home right away, and get ready right away, which takes a while because i have so many pets and stuff. So it leaves me very little time for homework or relaxing. And I can't do homework at my dad's house, really, because he doesn't have a decent computer (no printer, slow internet, no microsoft word). And then I have to get up extra early and am way more likely of being late! plus, i don't get a decent breakfast

but then he said, "Bullshit! You've been staying at my house every weds. night for your whole life" (Not True! I didn't start staying there until i was 3, and I didn't spend 1 weds. night at his house all 3 years of middle school because it was too much of a bother for him to take me to school, and i haven't stayed there since halfway thru 10th grade.)

He keeps bitching about this money thing, but you know what? I've calculated a cost of about $80,000for me in my lifetime. I've calculated my mom at about $55,000 of that, leaving my dad at $25,000. He OWES her child support! He's spent less than half what she has!!!

Doesn't it seem like HE's the one being all greedy about money here? And acting like i can't make an informed decision about my life? And then he bitches about me needing to spend more time with him? He takes time out of our weekend to go on a God-damn 6 hour date!

you know? He doesn't owe me anything. He has an obligation to me because I am his child and it's half his fault i exist, and he's not owning up to that responsibility! He doesn't owe ME anything, but I owe HIM nothing in return. He doesn't want to pay child support? fine. He doesn't half to. And i might even still see him. But I don't want to. I don't want to see him another damn day in my life.

I owe him nothing, so why do i feel so compelled to appease him? He treats me like an idiot, like a stupid girl. He's racist. He's sexist. He's selfish and greedy. I don't want to see him anymore but i have no fucking choice. If he wants to bug me about spending more nights a week there, FORGET IT. We can take it to the mediator and I can tell that person straight up, I don't want to spend a single night a week there. I'm willing to do it, to be nice, but if he bugs me about it, he can forget it!

sorry to always vent at you guys... but i need an outlet!

oh, and i hope this new gf lasts...in fact, i hope he either marries her and never sees me again, or at least, I hope -HOPE!!!!!!!!!!!- she gets knocked up!! :) it'd be wonderful karma on my dad, i'd get a younger sibling, this bitch would get it for talking badly about my mom and encouraging my dad, and the kid? Well, if i could help it, i wouldn't let him/her get into the mess. I'd take care of him/her, and make sure he/she didn't have to go through the crap i do

:)thank you!
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