Wednesday, December 22, 2004

   Do you know me yet?
Three days til Christmas!!! But anyway...

I've always thought that a good way to get to know someone is to get to know their friends, and I have some interesting ones. There is one who particularly fascinates me, I've known her since kindergarten. She's very smart, but highly cynical of the world and critical of other people. She's very choosy about her friends, so I guess I'm pretty fortunate that she chooses to tollerate me.

Over the course of the first semester of this year, she and I have come up with a list of goals that she wants to achieve before she dies. I personally think they're hillarious, and I want to share them with you.

MY FRIEND'S GOALS

1. Find Atlantis
2. discover the secret of the Bermuda Triangle
3. Take off socks before shoes
4. go to Fiji
5. work at a vodka factory
6. be a robot
7. plant a tree in the school parking lot and dedicate it to self
8. go surfing in a hurricane
9. be part of a dragon in a Chinese parade
10. steal the U.S. constitution and throw it away
11. be a guinea pig
12. climb the sphinx and have a picnic on top
13. carve name into the Taj Mahal
14. climb the ladder of success with hands in pockets
15. go to London and bungie jump off the bridge
16. exceed the speed limit in Puerto Rico
17. go to Walmart and buy a new lightbulb for brain
18. Move to county road 1010 for a week
19. start a store called Handicapped Teddybears
20. go antiquing with Anna in Ho Chi Mihn City
21. get hair done in 1953 for prom
22. coin own money
23. move to Southern France and change name to Sancho
24. ask Past Anna how something could be negative twelve feet long
25. become an evil mob

That same friend also has a list of wise words to live by. These are all things that she actually said:

1. Never laugh into a paper bag
2. Never smell a dictionary
3. Never stick a pretzel into a grinding computer
4. Rings don't belong in the world of glue
5. Don't stick your hand into open scizzor blades.

Strange, huh? I also have a few of my friends' quotes I'd like to share with you. NOTE-these quotes are not all from the same person.

"First clearance, then wigs!"

"If I did it any longer, it would become long."

"Oh! Oo doggy, that sucker's warm!"

"You're not supposed to find it in front of me."

"I have a short-term brain."

"Oh believe me, if I would, I could."

"Today was pretty good, but I hope today is better."

"It wouldn't doubt me."

"I hate jeans that don't have a beltloop in the back, because then there's nothing to hold on to when you bend down to pick up your shoes."

"That had it coming to him."

"I'm not part of it, is me?"

"You're talking to a transparent chair."

"It's gross! I wouldn't touch it! I wouldn't even want it on the same tray as me!"

"It would be this size, only extra long."

"I can't give away it."

"We need to think of a funny name for 'chalk shoes'"

"It's really hot in here."
"Are you a piece of toast?"
"I'm a whole loaf of toast!"

"I'm getting my hair pulled by some paper critter!"

"There's a vortex on the bus where people falling off the seat and couch fuzzies go."

"I had a slimfast, but it didn't work."

"Those look like rat eggs!"

"I is confused... look at all them birds!"

"I thought it was a boat car, but it was a bench."


Well, I hope you've enjoyed this collection of idiocy I've compiled. I love each and every one of my friends to pieces, and hopefully, they kind of like me too. Well, I guess that's all I have to say. Merry Christmas everyone!! ^-^
Comments (0)