Thursday, August 19, 2004

   if you want a burito, you can have another bite of mine, it could last you forever
well, i'm back from out shopping with my mom. well, i really didn't go shopping with her, its more like her car is a bus, that i got onto to get anywhere but here. i didn't spend anytime with the busdriver really.
anywho, we stopped at the mall, i got out and got a new cd, while she went and got her hair cut (i really don't notice any differences from before, but oh well. she likes it....and its her hair so i guess thats all that matters.)
so, i asked her for the car keys cuz most likely i wasn' going to spend half an hour in the mall. so she gave them to me, and i just walked around with the keys in my hand. i felt really cool actually, almost like i had a car of my own. so i got the cd, got to the car, and listened to it really loudly. i almost wanted to jump out of the car and start dancing in the parking lot, but i restrained myself because a policeman walked by.
anywho, now i'm here.
its raining really heavily, but i'm still happy. i got a bag of peanut butter m&ms (the big bag kind), milano cookies, goldfish crackers, raspberry iced tea, marshmellows, and hot chocolate. i'm set until tomorrow.
i'm on until 8! goodnight, thank you! i love you all! except for u....get lost u loser.
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Peter Pan is my hero
well, i was going to put a pic up of myself.......but i couldn't figure out how....so screw it.

i really wish that i could fly off to neverland with peter pan and never ever have to grow up. and i could fight indians and pirates with him, and live with the lost boys in their tree.
do u think that they let 14 year olds into neverland?
i just want to never grow up, really. i mean.....it would be great in my opinion, to be a little girl forever and to always have fun.
*sigh* i feel old now.
i think i'm going to go watch peter pan now. but which one? the new one.......or the old disney one?
i like both of them really.....but the peter pan in the new one is so cute.....maybe i'll watch that one.

later

if you had to draw on either the eiffel tower or the great wall of china, with a permanent black marker, which would u draw on?

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Wednesday, August 18, 2004

   i'm happy, i'm feeling glad, i've got sunshine in a bag *laughs* it just popped into my head, honestly
i'm happy. i have a pint of ben and jerry's peanut butter cup ice cream that i am currently eating out of with a spoon, and i might be going over to a friend's house. yay
we're going to be writing letters to all of the cast from harry potter, and to j.k. rowling.
okay.......yes.......i admit to it. i'm a big harry potter nerd. dont hate me for it. i just love him too too much. (daniel raddcliffe is a cutie though)
we're going to complain about the fact that in the movie POA, harry has blue eyes, not green eyes! but we're not exactly going to complain or anything, we're just going to casually slip the fact in there ("oh, and by the way.....")
afterall, we don't want them to hate us or anything, or find us annoying when they hardly know us and we admire them so greatly.
well, i would just like to say that i'm very sorry if i offended any readers with my last post about adam and eve. thank you.
now if you'll excuse me, i have some 50's sitcoms downstairs to watch.

oh, and my sis is taking her driver's license test today. *crosses fingers*
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Tuesday, August 17, 2004

my yesteday
well, yesterday i biked over to a friend's house. we didn't do much really.
she has all of these little siblings. its crazy. anyways, one of her siblings, who is 7, asked me about Adam and Eve, and who created them, ect.
it was kind of awkward, especially telling him the part about how Adam and Eve's children must've had sex with eachother in order to populate the earth. either that or have sex with monkeys, or their parents.
so.........yeah..........ummm
i don't believe this theory though, i don't believe in God anyways. evolution makes more sense, don't you think?

last night i went to this "rock show"
it was really cool actually. really loud punk/indie music, lots of hot guys, and electric guitars! what more could u ask for?
it was kind of weird though because noone danced. they all just stood infront of the band and had their legs twitch to the beat. it was really awkward. so me and my sis just stood their too, looking at all the hot guys. *sighs* shaggy brown hair, band t-shirts, converse sneakers, electric guitars. it was great.

some kid who was their asked me to dance. he was really short though, probably shorter than 5'. i said no though, he was drunk anyways.

so that was my day yesterday. today is nothing special. i'll probably do the laundry, load and unload the dishwasher, and possibly clean my room.

also yesterday, when i went to my friend's house, we decided to take a walk up to another friend's house. but then it started to rain, but we kept on walking (actually, the only reason we did was because i begged her to cuz i just loved the feeling of walking in the rain and getting totally soaked. my t-shirt was clinging to me, my hair was all damp and my glasses were all wet and i couldn't see a thing and i loved it. we started to sing "if all the raindrops were lemon drops and gum drops, oh what a rain it would be" at the top of our voices. it was great, cuz noone was there.
when i got back to her house, i was freezing my ass off cuz i didn't have any spare clothes with me. so then her mom dropped me off at my house, and i got my big fluffy blue sweatshirt and a blanket.
i didn't get to change out of my clothes though at all yesterday. so when i went to the concert i was still a little wet and cold. so i was shivering really badly at the concert, and to make it worse i had to go to the bathroom. so me and my sis went across the street to an irving station. the guy who was waiting in line before me was totally stoned, it was so funny.
then when my mom came and picked us up and my sis drove us home. the entire time she was confronting us about drugs and if we took them, yada yada yada.
so now i have a really bad cold from being out in the rain, and i just made myself a cup of tea.
the end
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Saturday, August 14, 2004

   Warning, some of this may not to be suitable for younger viewers
Sean Smith: We gotta find ourselves a Smurfette.

Ronald Fisher: Smurfette?

Sean Smith: Mm-hmmm.

Ronald Fisher: Not some, like, tight-ass Middlesex chick, you know? Like this cute little blonde that will get down and dirty with the guys. Like Smurfette does.

Donnie Darko: Smurfette doesn’t fuck.

Ronald Fisher: That’s bullshit. Smurfette fucks all the other smurfs. Why do you think Papa Smurf made her? Because all the other Smurfs were getting too horny.

Sean Smith: No, no, no, not Vanity. I heard he was a homosexual.

Ronald Fisher: Okay, well, you know what? Then she fucks them while Vanity watches Okay?

Sean Smith: What about Papa Smurf? He must get in on the action.

Ronald Fisher: Yeah, what he does, he films the gang-bang. Later on, he beats off to the tape.

Donnie Darko: First of all, Papa Smurf didn’t create Smurfette. Gargamel did. She was sent in as Gargamel’s evil spy with the intention of destroying the Smurf village. But the overwhelming goodness of the Smurf way of life transformed her. And as for the whole gang-bang scenario is just couldn’t happen. Smurfs are asexual. They don’t even have reproductive organs under those little white pants. That’s what’s so illogical, you know, about being a Smurf. What’s the point of living if you don’t have a dick?

Sean Smith: Damn it, Donnie. Why do you gotta get so smart on us?


Okay, so ^ up there is a scene from Donnie Darko.
Down there is a scene from the movie Ghost World. If you haven't seen it yet, you must! Go now, go rent it!


Enid is behind the candy counter dressed in a brown and
orange uniform.

MANAGER
I'm gonna let you handle the four
thirty crowd by yourself - that way
I can evaluate your performance
while it's slow and ease you into
the bigger crowds.

ENID
You can count on me, sir!

A customer, an ALCOHOLIC LOSER, approaches the candy counter.

LOSER
Do you serve beer or any alcohol?

ENID
I wish!... actually you wish...
after about five minutes of this
movie you'll wish to God you had
about ten beers!

LOSER stares blankly, hesitates, then goes into theater.

MANAGER
(pulling her aside)
What are you doing? You don't ever
criticize the feature!

ENID
Why? What difference does it make?
You already got his money...

MANAGER
Look, that's the policy... if you
want to make up your own rules you
can open your own theater...

ENID
But I was only trying to be
friendly...

MANAGER
Look, we don't pay you to be a
movie critic -- just do your job.

ENID
Okay, okay... I won't say a word...

ANOTHER ANGLE - an hour has gone by.

CUSTOMER
Medium popcorn.

ENID
That's three dollars.

CUSTOMER
Let me have plenty of butter on
that.

ENID
Ewww!...
(making a face)
Here you go -- smothered in
delicious yellow-chemical sludge!

MANAGER
(pulling her aside)
What the hell is wrong with you?!

ENID
What? I'm just kidding around with
the customers... It's my shtick!

MANAGER
Well lose it! And why aren't you
pushing the large sizes? Didn't you
get training about upsizing?

ENID
But I feel weird... it's so sleazy.

MANAGER
It's not optional!

ENID
Jesus...

CUSTOMER #2
Can I get a medium sprite?

ENID
A medium sprite? Why sir, do you
not know that for a mere twenty
five cents more you could purchase
a large beverage that has a volume
of over twice that of a puny medium
drink?
(she gives MANAGER a look)
... I'm only telling you this
because we're such good friends --
Medium is strictly for suckers who
don't understand the concept of
value!

INT. THE COFFEE EXPERIENCE - DAY

Rebecca is behind the counter glaring at Enid.

REBECCA
What are you talking about? What
kind of loser gets fired after one
day?!

ENID
I told you - my manager was a total
asshole! Don't worry, I'm going to
get another job... and anyway, I
have some ideas for how to make
money in the meantime...
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something more interesting than my last post
okay.....so now that i'm all set with getting that off my back (or is it chest....does it really matter?) i can actually talk about things that may interest u. possibly? maybe? no clue really.
last night i was up really late just sitting on my bed listening to my cd player. it was a cd that i had just burnt on my comp with all my mp3s from animes. i listened to the evangelion theme over and over and over again. i now know the words in japanese, so i can sing to the song, yay.
zankoku na tenshi!
okay...so anyways. i'm not really doing much today. me and my sis r just home alone....i think she's still asleep.
i got up surprisingly early this morning. 8:30! w00t!
and now i'm really, really, really tired.
i think i might go see to the theater and see a movie by myself.
why do people always think that when u go to see a movie, u have to go with someone else, and that its just "wrong" to go by yourself?
or atleast my mom thinks that.
i told her i was going to go see a movie, she asked with who, i said by myself, she said no, i said why, she said because, because why?, because i'm ur mother (why the hell do they get to use that line? it doesn't even make sense.)that pretty much sealed the conversation. how do u compete with that line anyways?
so i'm still probably going to go to the movies........by myself.
i can't think of any of my friends that i'd want to go with to the movies.
i'm not really friends with cori really.
tahira can't go to any movies that are pg-13 or higher.
mallory wouldn't want to go to the movies with me unless i went with everyone else.
and as for erin.....i don't know her number.
danielle......noone ever counts her. she's just there because she's there because she's there because she's there.

also, i have to take into account that i tend to go to the artsy/indie films, and none of them would understand them. i mean, sure i sometimes go to the big block buster hits, but some of those are just lame and not worth my 6 dollars. so, when i do go to see these movies, i get really bored, and i really want to talk with someone cuz i have nothing else to do besides throw pop corn at people in the audience. but i can't because all of them are like, glued to the movie just because there's some guy in there that isn't really hot who they all think is really hot.

so, i'll just go by myself. problem solved.
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   i'm really pissed off right now
just when you think that you're so happy, and that life couldn't get any better. it gets way worse.
i mean, just when u find your place, and think that you're on top of the world, it all comes crashing down, killing you and any happiness that you thought u felt with it.
afterwards u feel dissapointed and hurt and alone. most of all alone.
right now i feel really alone, and that i'll never feel any happiness again in my life. its a really depressing state to be in. and i'm hating every minute of it.
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Friday, August 13, 2004

   movies movies movies movies
nothing really exciting or interesting has happened today. and yesterday wasn't too exciting or interesting either.
i watched a movie (Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys), which by the way is a great, great movie that i highly reccomend to anyone who hasn't seen it yet. kieran culkin and emile hirsch.......wow

well, i might watch another movie today. gosford park or final fantasy spirits within?
i haven't seen gosford park before, but i haven't seen ffpw for awhile either. decisions, decisions, decisions.
i might watch both today actually........but which one first?
i'll come to a conclusion later.....i hope.

that pretty much sums up my today and yesterday.
thanks to anyone who has just read this, i know that it was a total waste of ur time, but thanks anyways.
later

today is friday the 13th....
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Thursday, August 12, 2004

   You are the only thing, that makes me want to live at all
I just barely woke up, and the first thing that i do is go to the comp.

last night on aim, i was talking to someone, and now i'm really confused. what do you say to someone when they say that they love you? do you nod and say "i love you too." or do you smile and say "thanks". but there's also the problem of taking it the wrong way. do they mean it in a "like" way, or a "like, like" way? please excuse the fact that i'm talking about this in a schoolgirl type of way, with the "likes" and "like, likes".

well, i'm not sure what to do. there's also another factor in this problem,the person already has a gf? then what do you do?
i never was really good with relationships, so if anyone has any advice.....or anything, plz comment. i really hate to be doing this right now, but at a time when i'm this confused about something this small, i start to doubt myself and my sanity, and my ability to judge for myself.
thanks.
also, if i'm taking this matter a little further then you were hoping it would be taken, please private message me, and let me know. i'm just really confused, and this is really bugging me.

later



Flames
by Vast

Close your eyes
Let me touch you now
Let me give you something
That is real

Close the door
Leave your fears behind
Let me give you
What you're giving me

You are the only thing
That makes me want to live at all

When I am with you
There's no reason to pretend
That
When I am with you
I feel flames again

Just put me inside you
I would never ever leave
Just put me inside you
I would never ever leave you





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Wednesday, August 11, 2004

   well.....i really didn't do anything today. except....i did help my mom throw out all the stuff in the cupboards(isn't that a weird word. i had to look it up at first because i wasn't sure if i had spelt it right.) that had expired like...last year. then i organized the cupboards (there it is again), and they look pretty good i think.i mean...you actually know what is in there, rather then this huge mess of Uncle Ben's Rice boxes and microwaveable mac and cheese (where would we be without it?)
yeh, so i'm proud of myself. and i don't feel the least bit guilty about staying on the computer for forever and not "going outside and doing something worthwhile, like riding your bike or taking a walk" what is my mother thinking when she says this?
alas, i'll never know.

anywho, i'm really bored (again) and i have nothing to do (as usual) so.......i might just sit here and stare into space for awhile.


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