Sunday, October 24, 2004

my house is very cold
well....u did update christina. but now i kind of wish u hadn't. cuz now i feel bad....and yucky.

60 algebra problems are waiting for me.

i stopped updating my english journal on october 3. so now i have to kind of catch up. so i'm going to be going through my archives, catching up and updating that thing.


i feel like such a loser.

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Saturday, October 23, 2004

sometimes i wish i could leave myself alone
i feel like cutting my hair.
i feel like doing something completely random
just off the top of my head cuz i feel like it. i'm feeling energized, ready to burst any second. i have so many ideas. so many things running through my head at this very moment. anything and everything from hello kitty postcards to lines in an italian film i saw when i was 10 years old.
i'm completely at a loss for words for how to explain all the things rushing through my head. so many thoughts and ideas, zooming by like a car doing 80.
i feel like jumping for joy. doing a crazy dance. calling someone from the phonebook and saying "hi, how was ur day?" and getting their life story up to that moment.
i feel like talking. telling someone about myself. who i am and what i stand for. what i like, what i dislike. how i'm in love with this guy. and only this guy. how he's so tall and gorgeous and made just for me, and i him. i feel like telling someone all my dreams. all my ideas about what things will be like, and what they are like today.

everything is just bursting out of me. i'm ready to pop. i want to go, see, enjoy, taste, feel everything in the world. i want to go to so many places in the world right now. right as of this moment. i don't feel depressed. right now, nothing has any meaning. its all here, and i'm here, and i'm ready to do whatever.
i want to dye my hair and cut it real short so i can wake up in the
morning with bed hair and look hot at the same time.

sorry for the break out. i just had to do something. maybe its because i'm so..sugarized from those maraschino cherries.
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skippy! thats whats in the jar, the very same skippy as whats in the bar. hey! skippy snack bar!
man, i can't get those reggae elephants out of my head.

hello my peoples

i don't have much to say. and what i do have to say, won't interest any of you. but i'll say it anyways. cuz thats just the way i am.

yesterday i went shopping with my mumsy and we went to this halloween costume shop, and i got this awesome kill bill yellow jump suit. i look just like uma thurman, man. well, not really.
i also got a fake hotari hanzo sword (one of those ninja ones), and a pink wig. its so cool! i was going to wear it into the applebees that i went into to for dinner, but i didn't.

i tried calling my sister on her phone to see if she wanted to go to the movies with me, but i kept getting her message machine, so i left like...5 messages. we didn't go to the movies in the end. she felt really bad about it cuz in the end it was all her fault for not answering the phone, yada yada yada. i don't feel like typing out the whole fiasco. in the end it was just messed up.
so she said yesterday that we could go today, but she's going to her friend's house at 4:00, so she'll probably forget, and not want to go. which is okay with me sort of. ai yai yai yai.
so i might just stay home and clean my room and do my homework. boring stuff like that.
my moms cleaning the house today! yay! it'll finally be clean.

CHRISTINA, UPDATE OR ELSE I'LL NEVER TALK TO U AGAIN U DORK!!! UPDATE ALREADY, I'M BORED!!!
*sighs* i miss christina

bye my peoples

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Friday, October 22, 2004

i'm balancing history books up on my head
today really sucks.
i called one of my friends to see if she wanted to go to the movies, and it turned out that she was at my other friend's house. and also another one of my very very close friends was there too. so, all three of them were hanging out without me. that kind of pissed me off.
so, i asked her what she was doing tonight, and she said "umm....i'm doing something."
ch'yeah, that was a smooth way to DITCH me. loser.
friends can be such a bother.

so, my sis was telling me to call her cuz she would be with sabra, and maybe we could go see a movie together. which would be fun.
so, i'll call her.
but my friends just piss me off majorly. so now i'm in a bad mood.
so, i kind of hung up on my friend, and then she called me back. so now i have to call her which i really don't want to do.
ergh!
its kind of awkward to call a friend at another friend's house and have their mother pick up the phone.
just a tad bit awkward.

One Foot in Front of the Other by Bright Eyes is keeping me happy ish though.
Conor Oberst has such a nice voice.

i need a shower badly. my tea is going cold. my nose is itchy. and i'm freezing in my jamjams.
also my breath smells bad.

i love my sister. she's such a comfort.......and so caring and understanding. she said i could hang out with her and her friends when she can drive me.
and then i can laugh at my loser friends. or something like that.

u guys make me happy. thanks.
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Thursday, October 21, 2004

c'mon feel the noise, girls rock ur boys
i'm feeling kind of queazy today.
and really depressed
and tired.
and i've lost my appetite.
i wish i had a brandon to cuddle. waaah.
ergh, i feel like crap.

i'm gonna go watch csi and then go to bed or something.

ciao
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woah, check it out
wow, what a half a day its been.

i've vaccumed, loaded and unloaded the dishwasher, and fed and watered the dogs, cats, and the bunny.
now i need a shower, and i want to make pancakes. either that or heat up some pizza from last night.

my dad is leaving town for awhile. he'll be back.......tomorrowish afternoon.
my mom probably won't be home until late tonight, cuz she's working. and my sis might go over to her friend abby's today. so, yet again, me stuck at home all alone. i feel like turning up the music and dancing around the house in mah undies.
yeah!

the house is so dirty. icktastic. i should probably do some more cleaning...like clean the oven, and neaten up the downstairs.
i should also probably clean my own room. thats a mess, seriously.
but i don't feel like it.
so i won't bother.
i'll do that tomorrow if i'm up for it then.

i should probably start on my history homework as well. ........and my algebra homework. but i don't feel like it.
i feel like reading right now actually. maybe the second harry potter book, since the 6th book which is coming out soon contains a lot of stuff that the second book hints at.
ch'yeah. i'm a huge harry potter nut, which i am very proud of and also very ashamed of. i know everything practically......even the stuff they don't mention in the book. i have mugglenet.com bookmarked.
i know i'm a loser. but don't hate me for it. love me for it ^_^
or something like that.

wow...what is it...11 days till election? or is it 12? well, either way. less than 2 weeks left until elections. i wonder what will happen. who'll win. what'll happen to america and me and iraq and everything.
i don't think kerry is a very strong man, i don't think he really knows what he's in for. but if i could vote, i'd vote for him. bush is just such a.....dumbarse.
sorry if i have offended any bush supporters, but that is my opinion on the matter. no harm taken.

well, right now i'm in the mood for some good ol' homestarrunner.com. everyone should visit that site. its so funny. honestly! check it out!!!!!!! (check it out, check it out, check it out, check it out, check it out, check it out, check it out, check it out, check it out! woah, check it out!)

homestarrunner.com isn't a bad site. its quite funny, and doesn't contain any r rated, or for that matter pg-13 humor in it. its just funny. its a bunch of little cartoons that some people made. its hilarious. CHECK IT OUT!!

ta-ta
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Wednesday, October 20, 2004

we got the beat, we got the beat, we got the beat..yeah! we got the beat!
nothing to say
nothing that i want to say or that needs to be said


except maybe this.......

play me a song on ur guitar
and i'll promise to listen forever
smiling at you and only you
cuz thats the way i feel
and thats the way it should be

hold my hand
and i'll promise to hold on forever
squeezing it affectionately
cuz thats the way i feel
and thats the way it should be

dance with me slowly
and i'll promise to dance forever
moving my body closely to your own
cuz thats the way i feel
and thats the way it should be

walk with me along the sidewalk
and i'll promise to walk with you forever
whispering crazy, loving things in your ear
cuz thats the way i feel
and thats the way it should be

lay with me on the lawn under a starry night
and i'll promise to lay their forever
cuddling closely to you
cuz thats the way i feel
and thats the way it should be

love me more than anything in the whole-wide world
and i'll promise to love you forever
kissing you and wanting u
cuz thats the way i feel
and thats the way it should be

*hiccups*
oh no!

ta-ta lovelys
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i need to go soon. i'm going up to hang out with some friends and maybe play soccer for the hell of it. honestly, its fun. i miss my friends. i haven't seen them in days.
no school today or tomorrow or friday or anything! w00t! doesn't the world just make perfect sense.

i love my mittens. they keep my hands warm.

my sis is driving up to canada. i wish i could go with her. we'd have so much fun. blasting our music and what not. fun fun fun.

hehe.

i've given up on caring about my family. i mean, i love them. but i love them all individually, not as one big family. cuz truth is, we're not one big happy family. its kind of sad. but whatever. if other people want to screw up their lives and then not do a thing about it, fine by me. i've still got a few decades to live.

i'm so happy. i've been reading this fan fic, and the author hadn't updated it for like.....a year. but they finally updated a new chapter. so happy!

i need to go get some clothes on. right now i'm just sitting in my undies, with a t-shirt on.
and my fuzzy kick-ass socks.
and my mittens.
how odd i must look.

i need a shower. ewwww.
well, i don't smell bad. my hair is just all....icky.
i haven't combed my hair once since .......5th grade.
i've had short hair and just kept getting it cut. now its semi long, and i need to trim it. i've said i'm going to do, so i need to get it over with. i want to get my hair cut by my sister before school monday.
my room is falling apart.

ergh, my mum asked my sis to vaccum, and then my sis asked me to vaccum (she said she would bring me back something if i did. ch'yeah right. but i'll vaccum anyways so that she doesn't get in trouble. ergh. what a nice little sister i am.)

well, i'm outie
catch you all on the flip side.

*pop the collar* lmao, i heard that on that's so raven. raven's little brother had this white, nerdy friend who they dressed up to be all gangsta, and he walked in the room, posed and went "pop the collar". it was funny.
what a nerd i am.

i'll do the emo thing and put a lyric as my sign out.

"its up to you know. this place is filling up with smoke. and u won't let me breath in or out, so i resolve to cut my own throat."
-the damnwells "sleepsinging"

i wrote that on a desk in study hall.
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Tuesday, October 19, 2004

no comment
i was this close to talking to brandon. this || close to talking to him! but i didn't! ergh, i'm mad at myself.
there's this senior named cheri (or sherry), and she's a midget, and she was walking over to the table that i was sitting at in the cafeteria after school. and brandon came over to talk to her and he was standing right next to me. he was sort of bent over so that he could talk to sherry since she's so short and he's so tall (6' something) and his head was like..|| that close to my face! holy cow!
he has really nice hair.

so, yeah, then his ride came at the exact same time as mine did so i signed out of the cafeteria right after him and i walked out of the cafeteria right behind him and he held the door for me. how nice. ^_^ so happy.

today was dress up day, and i wore a t-shirt to school, but i had a jacket over it (it was cold) so i didn't get busted and put into detention yay!

i like my height. its not terribly tall. i come right up to brandon's shoulder.

i got my english paper into dwyer. yay! my printer broke, so i had to email my essay as an attachment to my mom's work email and she printed it out there, and she brought it to the office so i could get it.

i got an 84.4 on my origins test.

i don't think david likes me all that much. but thats okay, i seem to be perfectly fine about that fact.

his brother (matt) said something about my knee-high, black and white striped socks after study hall....i think. maybe it was my imagination. matt is cute.....but i like brandon more.

i got a bagel in a bag this morning. the only kind that they had was raisin since the dumbasses in front of me got the last two onions. so....i got a raisin bagel. its not that bad really.

we finished au revoir les infants in french. it was a sad movie. *cries*

moving on.
today i felt like a total poser. honestly, black skirt, black donnie darko shirt, and black and white knee high socks. i'm not a poser though! i'm not some punk! i don't want to be any of that! but i'm betting that people perceived me as that. atleast i'm into the right kind of punk music, not that good charlotte crap.

i got a kit kat today.

i think i'm going to stay home and not go trick or treating. i'll just buy a bag of candy and watch scary movies at home. i'm really not in the mood to go trick or treating, and i don't even know what i would go as. my sis is going as ed from cowboy beebop.

i had so much fun after school in the cafeteria. my friend and i were throwing a gatorade bottle back and forth, and i dropped it and it leaked on the floor. so i had to clean it up. it was so embarassing.

i have feliz navida stuck in my head. earlier today i had black betty stuck in my head.

wow, i've written a lot. sorry about that. i'll understand if none of u read it. its quite lengthy.

thats about all. i'll be online for awhile. i'll be home alone for awhile until....7. might as well make the most of it and go turn up my radio and dance around the house in my underwear. right?
ciao
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Monday, October 18, 2004

its getting to the point where being excepted doesn't matter
i should probably go to bed right now if i'm ever going to get up in the morning........

well, what a day. i saw brandon, the love of my life. he's so awesome and hot. too bad bosley likes him, and she's a junior.....and he might like her. i don't know. thats depressing. someone kill me.

in origins we were going to watch farenheit 9/11, but there were these three girls who were like "i don't want to watch this because its saying bad things about our president and i have a good opinion of him and i don't want that to change. yada yada yada."
dorks.
so we just worked on our essays. yay?

u can love a stranger emoboy.

p.e. is now co-ed. oh joy, p.e. with the guys, how much fun.
it sucks. we're doing basketball. tomorrow, long pants, no shorts!


i got a shirt and some mittens from delias magazine. i also got a jacket, but it was too small. it was a medium damnit! they said it would fit me, i measured!
i told my dad cuz he asked about the clothes and he said "well yah know, ur not as little as u think u are, yada yada yada." my dad always has to make fun of me and my sister whenever possible.
no, we're not fat or abnormally large, but my dad thinks that we are.
ergh, what does he know?
he called my sister fat once, wow, what an arsehole.
if i turn anorexic, its my dad's fault, honestly. i only weigh 120 ish! c'mon! i'm not chubby damnit! i'm 5'9" sure....but honestly! ergh......i'm pissed.

tomorrow is dress up day at school and i have nothing to wear.
oh no. detention.

i think i'm going to go cut my hair. it needs to be cut. its too long. ergh. maybe my sis will cut it. i don't know.

i have to write an english essay on this book. ergh! and my printer isn't working! and i just finished typing it up and my comp won't let me print. double ergh.

*cries* everything is going down the drain.
i want my mittens, my hands are getting cold.


i think i'm going to go read that daydream i made. laterz
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