Saturday, October 16, 2004

bananza (did i spell that right?) music is a crazy thing
i just watched farenheit 9/11.
it was good.....to some extent. but it was really disturbing and it bugged me.
but, there was a really hot guy in the movie with brown shaggy hair. he was talking about how some people from the army had talked to him when he was at Borders about joining the army. yeh...he was hot. he shouldn't join the army and shave all that nice hair. what a shame that would be.

well, i wrote two poems. which i might post tomorrow cuz i'm too tired.


i need to brush my teeth. yuck, yuck.

tomorrow i might clean my room.....and my bunny cage. and do the dishes and unload and load the dishwasher. crazy day tomorrow.
but i vaccumed today.....yay?
noone ever does anything. the house is getting unclean, and its bugging me. wow....what a neat freak i am.

i'll be seeing u all later.

thanks for the post christina....but it seemed as though none of those peoples knew me. that was a bit depressing. but atleast u care! i'll make a post all about u someday. pinky promise.

well, goodnight
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today is all right for tonight
wow...sorry about not posting for awhile. the comp hasn't been that free, it seems like everyone in the house needs it.
also, i had a lot of homework. ergh.

well.....shall i talk about yesterday and how utterly crappy a day it was.

well...thursday i forgot to sign into the cafeteria (my bad, i totally spaced about it) and i got a detention friday. ergh, all the people in detention friday were losers.
also, i had a french test, a history test, a p.e. quiz, and a english vocab quiz.
i wasn't able to get a bagel yesterday morning during my study hall because i had to do some reading for english because i thought we were going to have a book quiz, which we didn't. ergh, i could've spent that time studying my vocab, or eating a bagel!
my hair yesterday was really obnoxious, it was all poofy. ergh.
also, since i had my detention until 3:05, i wasn't able to sit in the cafeteria and look at brandon. also, i went to the dance last night and brandon wasn't there. his brother was there....but he wasn't! so i was mad. and at the dance, they didn't even play good music! so i had a really sucky time.
ethan, this kid i know, was at the dance. he looked really bummed out about something. so i sat down and played with his hair. it was nice and soft cuz he had taken a shower.
so, when i got home from the dance, i realized that i had forgotten my house key. so i knocked on the door and my sister opened it for me, and yelled at me about forgetting my key when she herself has done it thousands of times before.
so, i got mad at her and then she yelled at me some more and said that i had an attitude problem, and that i'm just a freshman. yada yada yada. all in all, it was a horrible day and i was just so tired and bummed out about not seeing brandon, and then getting yelled at. so i cried a lot. it was really depressing.

well, sorry about the length of this post. but.......i had a lot to say.
now i have to go vaccum the house cuz its sort of inevitable cuz my dad will come home and yell at me for not vaccuming. and nobody else ever vaccums except my sister from time to time, and once in a great while my mother. but my dad it always the one who's bugged by it, but he never does anything. he sits around and watches golf and falls asleep and gets online and thats all.
ergh, am i the only one who actually does anything!?

great.......the house is really dusty. yerk.

hmm....so bye u guys.
yay, i'm back christina!! *dances*
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Wednesday, October 13, 2004

love that perfect frown, honest eyes, we oughta buy you a caddilac, hey!.......ok go, hello!
i'll try and make this post short so that people can read it.
hehe...yeah

what a tiring day. we played field hockey in p.e. today. i did pretty good. we played it in the gym, and i saved the ball from going out of bounds, and ran into the bleachers. ouch!
but yeah, it was fun. hopefully we'll play it tomorrow. w00t! its a crazy game, but i kind of like it.
i'm so tired! when i got home, i fell on the floor after i reached the top of the stairs, and lay there. i felt so limp and wasted. my sis talked to me a bit (she was on the comp), and my dog kept licking my face. eww.
today i also found a dollar 25 in my pocket so i got a soda. yay! root beer! it was good.
saw the hot guy today. he nearly ran into me after i signed in (u have to sign into the cafeteria after school, otherwise u get detention). there was a crowd of people around the list, and i went to turn around and bumped into him. his fault though, not mine. but oh, physical contact!
ch'yeah, i'm such a loser. emphasizing over the littlest thing.
ergh.

this morning i took the psats. they were hard, sort of. but i'm only a freshman, so i don't have to worry about my grade. the psats were optional, but i wanted to take them. taking them made me feel like i was smarter than everyone else. that i had some sort of upperhand.
it was a great feeling. plus, the hot guy brandon was taking the psats acouple tables over. he was taking the same test as me. the entire time i was wondering what problem he was on, and how he was solving it, and what not.

today i wore my donnie darko shirt, my sis's pink plaited skirt, some leg warmers, and my green shoes. i also brought my winter coat to school cuz it was cold this morning.
i've gotten so many compliments on my donnie darko shirt. its insane. the girls always sound the same when they compliment me on it. they say it in this quiet little voice, with a giggle afterwards...and they're all these wanna be punk posers. ewww. except for abby, she rocks. she's so not a poser. but then again...she's so not punk.
the guys who compliment my shirt are....well, just ethan, zac, i think david, and aaron. and they just say "donnie darko! good movie."
thats all. its kind of....boring. everyone says that though. "good movie." i want a really original comment. like....someone saying a quote from the movie, and then saying "nice shirt." you know? not just the same old boring comment.

am i making any sense?
well........thats a pretty lengthy post. i'll let u all digest that....and then i'll have more tomorrow. oh joy

going, going, gone!
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Tuesday, October 12, 2004

killed by a rogue uno card.....SLASH!!!
hmm....i passed him in the hall and he was walking on the side of the crowd that was closest to me, as opposed to the other side of the hall near the wall.
also, i signed up to go to this old folk's home with the french club to play cards with the old peoples. and i missed out on sitting in the cafeteria, looking at brandon. he was wearing this yellow and black sort of plaidish button down shirt. it looked so hot on him.
well, sabra and i roamed around and then found emma and sam and sat by them and played this card game called "king's corner" with two other old people.
we got root beer and pretzles from the ladies who worked there. yay!
it was good.
and then i got up and went over to a different table and played uno with some ladies.
it was funny. it was this machine thing, where u pressed the button if u didn't have a card of the right color or number, and if you were unlucky, cards came shooting out at you. but i was lucky most of the time, and didn't get shot at by cards. it was great.
the lady i was sitting next to kept getting unlucky. i felt so sorry for her.
she had this uno card that was flipped so she was looking at the back of the card that just said uno on it, and she didn't know what color or number it was. i nearly died of laughter. i had to flip it over for her, to show her that she was looking at the back of the card. h'omg, so funny!

besides that, not much went on today.
my english teacher left at the beginning of the period, and left me in charge to take attendance. but some obnoxious girls came over and stole it from me and took attendance themselves. then a sub came in and said "do whatever you want." so we acted good and most of us finished our math homework. or something like that.

hmm, what a great day. didn't see brandon much, but thats okay.
i got to sit next to sam on this bench outside the cafeteria before school started, and i talked to her about stuff, and she told me that she had a crush on this guy that i used to go to school with, and who i find absolutely unnatractive. turns out lots of freshman girls like him. who'dve thunk!

today i wore pretty much all green. green skirt, green shoes, green shirt. woh! but it wasn't an obnoxious stand out, "omg she's wearing green!" sort of thing. it just kind of blended in. unnoticed.
i hate p.e.!
bosley is mean!
cheese is disgusting to me, as of this moment. thinking of cheese makes me want to vomit.
yurk.
i'm eating spaghettios right now. yummalicious.
well, only math and french homework tonight. oh, and english. i should probably do my reading right now. yeah. probably should. any minute now. here i go. gonna go read. english homework here i come! watch out, i'm coming. yep. any time now. i'll be up before u know it. yup.
who am i kidding. i'm staying put. i love you guys!
*blows kisses and does the queenie/miss america wave*
you all love me! you really love me!

or...something like that.
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Monday, October 11, 2004

cheese; milk's leap towards immortality........my sister wrote that.....what a loser
well, i sold 2 cds, meaning that i got 4 tickets because of double ticket day.....so i got four boxes of gobstoppers. uber cool or what!
well, i gave one box to my sister, cuz i felt sorry for her. and then i ate one box. so now i only have 2. but i did have 4.....at one point in time.
i've officially decided that i hate all the girls in my p.e. class except for emma, kyla, nicole.....and possibly sherry. everyone else is lame and not worth my time.
we did aerobics today.....woh! i'm out of shape.
i saw the hot guy brandon at lunch. he looked at me.....i think. either that or the person who was standing next to me.......which was a guy. so i'm assuming that he was looking at me.
*sigh* i'm going to go read that day dream again....its so nice and comforting in these troubling times when i'm questioning if i'm happy or not.
i'm sort of happyish now. not really. well, not A-okay, and not suicidal. somewhere inbetween.
sorry if my last entry offended anyone with my language. i'm so sorry! i normally don't swear.....but yeah....it felt okay at the moment when i was writing.

i have no homework tonight! yes! finally, i can go to bed without a guilty conscious, and without feeling as though i need to get up a 5:00 to finish it all. yes! i rule!
i only had french homework..but pfft, that was easy.
i didn't have science because mr. hickey didn't have enough time to assign homework.
no origins because we had a big assignment over the weekend which i finished during school assembly.
no math because we had a sub.
and finally, no english because we had a vocab and book quiz. w00t!
which i did terrible on. but moving along anyways.

i love sabra. she's so cool.
i also love abby. she's tres cool.
and my sister....who is currently reading over my shoulder....so i have to mention her too.

ethan smells funny, and he gave me a hug today. eww. but at the same time..i feel happy.

well.......thats about all i have to say. i've eaten a lot of candy and very little actual food....and haven't had a drop of snapple all day. i'm going to die probably.
i need snapple. luckily i have 3 dollars, so i can get a snapple during lunch and bump into the hot guy. yes! score!

so, buh-byes!
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Sunday, October 10, 2004

conor oberst.....hot....or hot? yeah, i know, he's hot.
another post. gosh, when will i just shut up and die! i know!

hey, do u all want to know who is a really hot guy?
CONOR FUCKING OBERST!
well...his name is conor oberst...not conor fucking oberst.....yeah.

well.....he's hotter than hot, he's hot.
he's from a band called bright eyes....if u don't know who they are........THEN FIND OUT! ALRIGHT?!
yeah...if u don't then ur really missing out.

thats all i have to say.
i'm going to go watch tv, finish my origins essay thats due tomorrow, and eat toast.
YEAH TOAST!
hehe....its a song.

well, goodnight!
buh-byes
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i just went to the greensquirreltshirts site, and i saw this awesome shirt. it says "vote for pedro"
omg! i want that!
i showed it to my sis, and she said that she wanted it. but i'm going to get it before she can!
mwahahahaha
hopefully, atleast.

well, i've been reading my day dream over, and over, and over, and over, and over again
it never gets tiring.
i'm sure it does to you people, but thats because ur not the one making out with the hot guy.
come up with ur own day dreams! quit living my life! waaah
no, but seriously, make up ur own day dream. i'd love to read them over, and over, and over, and over again even if i'm not in it.
WAIT!
please put me in ur daydream, even if i get killed or i just walk by or something. it would make it so much .....funnererer.
honestly it would. anything with me is fuddy. i mean good. and funny. good and funny.

ergh, my dad can be a pain. right now he's yelling at my sister about leaving her gas cap open on her car....or something like that. he's so stupid.

well i've got to go stack wood. ergh. because of my dad. ergh

buh-byes
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Saturday, October 9, 2004

he's the highlight of my day, brandon i love you!
wow, a third post on the same day. is that even possible?

well...i have nothing to say really. i just wanted to post.
i talked to my friend and we kicked the soccer ball around and he got into my secret bag and so i read my journal to him.
i had to skip a day though. the day when i realized everything is just slipping through my fingers. i can't hold everything together by myself. not even cement glue could hold any of it together.
the day i relalized my world isn't as perfect as i thought it was. sure, i knew some people with mesed up lives, but i never thought i was one of them. i never knew that i actually had a secret to keep. something to be ashamed of. something to hide from the world and cry myself to sleep about.

my sis is at the movies. w00t for her.
*does a lame excuse of a wave.*
i wish i were with her. really. i can't wait until she can drive me legally. we'll have so much fun.
i can't wait for november and then my sis can drive me anywhere!
*does the wave*
c'mon christina, do the wave. you know you want to. its fun really.

well.
well what? i feel like getting philisophial or something. i want to talk to someone face to face about something that doesn't really matter. something that we can argue about. a fun argument.
i want to have a conversation with brandon worth having. something that he'll remember...and when he wants to talk to someone...he'll say "hey, what about that girl. she was fun."
and we'll talk, and listen to eachother and i will find out how truly brilliant of a person he is.
and while i'm sure that he's very popular around the girls cuz he's so hot...he'll only have eyes for me and i'll only have eyes for him. and thats the way things will be, because thats the way they should be.
and at the dance, a slow song will burst out, and he'll make his way straight towards me thinking "if i don't do it now, i never will."
and i'll be standing there, unaware. and he'll tap me on the shoulder and ask me to dance. shyly. and i'll say yes, shyly.
and we'll dance.
he'll hold me close cuz thats the way it should be. and he'll smell good, and i'll be so rigid cuz i'm so nervous. but he'll whisper in my ear "don't be so nervous."
and i'll smile, shyly, at him. and i'll lean my head on his shoulder and he'll tell me all sorts of things. what he likes. who he is. how long he's looked at me, and wished that he could just say hi to me. and i'll say thats the same with me. and we'll both laugh at our childishness.
he'll hold me a bit closer, and his hands will go to my hips, where they should be. and we'll both be wishing the song would never end. but all good things must come to and end sooner or later.
after the song ends, he'll ask me if i want to go for a walk. a cliche, a given, but i'll agree, wondering where this might lead me to.
we walk and talk. our strides slow. we'll walk down to the football field, and just lay there looking at the clear sky and the beautiful stars. we'll talk about random things that just pop into our heads, and we'll speak in a whisper and giggle about funny things that wouldn't have been that funny if we weren't here together.
he'll tell me his class schedule, and I mine. we'll plan to run into eachother in the halls by coincidence and smile at eachother as we go our seperate ways.
and whilst sitting on the field, gazing around and at eachother, he'd sit up and move closer, his arm around me. he'd lend me his brown zip up jacket because he felt me shiver. but its such a warm night, i'm not cold. i'd shiver because he's so close to me. its terrifying me.
as he put his jacket around me, we'd lock eye contact. he'd smile, i'd smile. but we wouldn't turn away and blush and think "omg, i looked at her" or "omg, he looked at me." we'd stare at eachother, getting lost in eachother. and he'd slowly move closer. ever closer. until WHAM! we're kissing. sweetly, passionately, never ending, unforgettable, earth shattering. we'd split apart, and look at eachother. and then he'd breath out slowly as though he'd been holding his breath. and he'd murmur under his breath "wow"
and i'd smile and kiss him back.
we'd perfect, him and i. and someday, i'll show him this entry, and we'll laugh at it. finding it humorous that i had had such a vivid, imaginative day dream about him in such an intimate way as that.

but thats just a daydream.

HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WAS THINKING. I WAS LISTENING TO SLEEPSINGING BY THE DAMNWELLS, AND IT KIND OF CAME TO ME. (HEHE.....WAY TO SOUND MYSTERIOUS.)
SO YEAH........

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all the chocolate chip teddy grahams are deformed........and they look like leppers.
i'm back
*does the wave*

i'm wearing leg warmers right now. they're my sis's, and they're brilliant.
i'm also eating teddy grahams with milk, and i have a winter hat on.

i might go up to my old school and see this kid that i know who's supposedly obsessing about me. he's in 8th grade, and i used to go to school with him, until i graduated.
*does the wave again*
we might play soccer, which means that we would just pass the ball around. and we would talk.
he's a nice kid. i don't like him any more than as a friend however. i think he feels the same. hopefully. i don't want him pulling any shit on me. like trying to make out with me. the loser. i'm so lame.
*wave!!*

my sister and i talked a bit. well, for like an hour. i never knew that all this shit was going on in her life. its so depressing.
i can't say anything, cuz its her business. all i can say is, imagine all the worst things that a person could do....then you'd have a picture of what's going on for her. except for cutting. she doesn't cut.

well.......there are some dishes lying around that are calling to me.

over and out


EVERYONE DO THE WAVE!!!
*DOES THE WAVE*
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wooh-hoo woo-hoo-hoo
just to show u all how lame i am.......i'm going to a craft fair up at my old school on a saturday!
i'm so lame.......but at the same time, SO COOL!
maybe i'll see some of my friend's up there and we can ditch the old lady craft fair and play soccer down on the field. hopefully. otherwise i'll just go back home and veg.

so, over and out
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