Sunday, September 12, 2004

i like pina coladas, and getting caught in the rain

sorry i haven't written in awhile. i've been gone. i went to a family reunion at some country club. snores galore.
why is it that at my family reunions, only the old people come?
there were these two obnoxious "i'm so punk!" girls that my sister and i made fun of constantly. it was so hilarious.
my sis also brought her camera with her so she took all these awesome black and white pictures of me. neato toleato.

my sis and i stayed up all night at this hotel watching cable, cuz we don't have it at home which sucks.
so we watched inuyasha, wolf's rain, cowboybebop, and some other stuff. we finally had to turn the tv off around 4 in the morning cuz my mom couldn't get to sleep with the tv on. poor mumsy.

i have school tomorrow and i don't want to go. i've come to realize that the amazingly hot guy must've switched his classes around so i don't see him after algebra or p.e. and friday i didn't see him in the hall when i was coming from science. maybe he was in the bathroom though. *sigh* i really hope so.

yay! matt's alive! yay! *dances around*
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Friday, September 10, 2004

i'm your little sketchbook
h'okay
so i just got this letter in the mail from my "student STEP group advisor councilor type person" saying that i can devote a period of study hall for 21 days to tech ed. tech ed? are they serious? why the hell would i give up my study hall, which i need in order to catch up with homework and to study, to tech ed? making birdhouses?
they say in the letter that this will help to explore into my future and find out what job is right for me at the age of 14. 14! i don't even know what i want for christmas this year, let alone what i want to be doing in order to keep myself okay financially.

i've been writing on my arms a lot lately. all these memos to myself in black marker on my hands. i feel so cool for some reason.

oh, and there's a really hot kid (shaggy brownish hair, punk skater look about him) who has english in the room across from the room that i have english in last period. ^_^ so when i leave the english room, i follow behind him and just admire his back >.<

thats about all i have to say.

later mi amigos

oh, and i'm worried about matt. he hasn't written for 8 days. i'm really worried about him. what if he did infact leave for miami, and he can't find a comp. or maybe he went a little too far with his cutting and actually killed himself or something! i'm going to have nightmares about him.
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Thursday, September 9, 2004

if you saw a banana peel just lying on the sidewalk, would u laugh? i know i would.
right now i'm eating a pint of ben and jerry's cherry garcia out of the container with a spoon. does that spell out stereotypically a lonely and depressed person? hmmm..maybe i am those things. i have friends who i never really want to talk to. what to do but cut, cry, and eat, right?
by the way....where the f#@&* is matt?

well, tonight i have some "open house, parents meet ur teachers and they talk about how bad ur doing when ur standing right there."
i'm quiet, i might not contribute as much as miss little social teen, soccer player, "what the hell is donnie darko?","i'm smarter than all of you combined and i'm not even trying", "i could finish this 490 page book in an hour", fake blonde with a ponytail bitch over there, but i am smart! ergh!
atleast i'll get to see the cute guy, maybe. yay! he's so hot. and tall. and cool. and shaggy brown hair- ish. *sigh*
oh, and sabra, i love u! *hugs her* ur great, u rock my world, ur so nice, thank you for talking to me, and ur brother is so cool too!
i just felt like adding that because its true.

so i think that my english teacher is going insane. he assigned us to read this short little story, take notes on it about how we feel about the story and what the emotions of the characters are, and then write our own short story which is similar to it. and its due tomorrow. and we weren'te allowed to take the short story home, we have to work with the amount of notes that we took.
crazy? maybe a little.

well, i should probably go and log out. and get off my ass and walk around the house a little so that the ice cream doesn't make me fat.
wouldn't that just be wonderful.
well, ciao mi amigos.


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Monday, September 6, 2004

u've wasted every moment of ur saturday and ur sunday
k, so i just joined this site called "the not cool club". its a huge message board place. anywho.....i posted a topic. "whats the strangest, weirdest, craziest, most random thing that u've seen written on a bathroom wall?" i'm not sure if anyone has posted this topic yet, and i' not sure if anyone will reply. but i hope someone does.
hmm....so now to wait and check it out later.

well....i haven't done much of anything that would be thought of as "constructive". if anything i've completely wasted my afternoon.

i have school tomorrow. i'm actually excited. i'll be able to see some of my old friends from 8th grade at school cuz some of them are taking this course thing where 8th graders take math at the highschool. so i'll get to see them in the mornin for like 5 minutes, and then i have to rush back to the main building campus and go to my science classroom. but they'll be worth all the effort. i'm so excited. i've missed them. i wish they were in highschool with me.
also,i'll get to see the really cute guy tomorrow. yay! he's so hot, honestly.

okay, so while i've been typing all of this i've had my head tilted way over to my side. it kind of hurts, but its kind of cool.

also, this morning i woke up. and i pulled the covers way over my head, and i just stayed like that. everything seems so much more diferent when u have the covers over ur head. u feel like ur in a new world. when i was little i used to do that. i felt like nobody could ever find me cuz i was hiding. and i never wanted to take the covers off. i liked hiding there.

well.......................... thats about all i have to say. thanks for ur comments yesterday.

later

*pokes matt* where in the world r u?
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Sunday, September 5, 2004

pots and pans are indestructable
what's the point? we all have our ups, and we all have our downs. but in the end, isn't there more dissapointment than happiness. is there a point to this meaningless cycle. were we put here to destroy everything, and then die? what's the point in that? isn't this some fake reality. but if this is the fake reality, where's the real one? is there a real one? is anything real? and if everything is considered and defined as fake.....then what are we comparing it to in the end?
is this some sickening idea of torture? while once in our lives, we might find something that will make us truly happy, but in the end it will be ripped from us. so why do we set ourselves up for this heart ache? why do we insist on it? why do we attach ourselves to something that will soon be no more?
is the answer just to "live every moment to its fullest"? how full could that moment be? once u live that moment...it will be forgotten. it will not matter anymore. people will forget it, you will forget it. it will be as if it had never happened. and that one thing that u thought would truly matter, ends up not meaning anything. so what of everything that never really mattered?
u can make a place for urself in textbooks. but will anyone ever think as u as more than just some person who invented this, discovered this, or saved this? will the children who read these books ever care about u? noone will truly remember u. sure, if u became famous they might realize that u were infact a real person who was alive.....but what does that matter in the end?

just a thought. i was bored. i can get very confusing and philisophical when i'm bored.

next week: How Big Is The Universe?
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Saturday, September 4, 2004

i'm not dead........yay or nay?

well, its the weekend finally. and i have no plans whatsoever.
my mum is coming home soon with doughnuts..yay! ^_^

not really much to talk about. the episode on the fourth disc of cowboy bebop, the mushroom samba one.....that is crazy. i love spike's face tho when he comes out of the tent holding the bag of mushrooms. he's so cute.
he could kick andy's ass anyday.
well, i might go make myself some ramen and call up a friend and just talk with her for the entire day. or i could go to the movies tonight (i just need to find a ride....hmmm)

my biggest fear is drowning and depths. i would't want to die by drowning. i would want some dramatic sort of death, like getting stabbed with a sword, or getting shot by a gun from my arch nemesis. but, we would both shoot eachother at the same time....so he/she would die the same time that i died so i could die happily knowing i had completed my mission.
i don't know.....its just a thought.
well, i have to go. i need to do the dished before my mum gets home. and i have to finish up the rest of cowboy bebop and return it to Lewis before Tuesday.

salut!
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Thursday, September 2, 2004

i got a slushie...........ILLEGALLY! OMG!
aren't we all just a little fucked up?
well, except me, i'm perfect.

anywho, guess what. okay, so i went to school, yada yada yada learn this yada yada yada, and then i went to lunch. i got to my lunch table, and guess what i found? a pill. a white, unwrapped pill with the letters FL on the front, and the number 20 on the back. i was so tempted to eat it right then and there. but i didn't. who knows what it could be, where it could've been, where it came from, who it came from, ect. so i held back my urges. i saved it though and wrapped it into a candy wrapper.
i brought it home, showed it to my sis, asked her what it was. she said "omg, wtf, flush it now!"
so i flushed it.
flush flush flush goes the ecstasy.
hmm....so tomorrow i'm betting some kids will come up to me, say "hey, what the fuck did u do to that pill that was lying on the table?"
"i flushed it ^_^"
"you fucking did what you fucker?"
"i flushed it ^_^"
*kills the girl who flushed the ecstasy*
*dead* >.<
so, if i don't post tomorrow, assume that i got killed.

oh, today, after school i went over to my sis's car in the parking lot cuz i didn't feel like going into the cafeteria.
she said hop in, i did, we drove into town, i got a slushie, we drove back.
i got a slushie.....ILLEGALLY!!OMG!
yeh, so i can't drive with her yet....but i will soon.
i love my sis. *hugs her*
okay, so i'm going to go watch cowboy bebop with her. we have to finish that up and give it back to lewis. he'll be wanting it back i assume.

well, thats all.....gots to goes live my life.....can't hang around with you losers all day. pfft.

later ^_^

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Wednesday, September 1, 2004

mangos mangos mangos.....mango madness!
gym class= every single word for evil, hatred, and torture.
cafeteria after school= evil place that should be avoided at all costs; a huge lost and found for people.
combination locks= confusing, intimidating, evil little buggers.

I HATE HIGHSCHOOL! THESE ARE NOT THE BEST YEARS OF MY LIFE! THESE ARE SUCKY, CONFUSING YEARS! ERGH!!

so now that that is out of my system........
i didn't see the extremely hot guy because i had to go to a french club meeting. so then when i went into the cafeteria, he wasn't there. where was he?! he's what gets me through the day. he's one of those guys where u don't really feel as though u need to know him, or go out with him, just looking at him makes me content cuz he's just so beautiful and hot.

LTS girls are intimidating. LTS boys make me uneasy.
there....i've said it. i pretty much hate anyone from LTS. they're just too damn perfect! they know the answer to every question asked.
its very intimidating, and i feel very stupid. i mean, the teacher probably thinks i'm really stupid because i hardly ever talk in class. hmmm...the stupid girl who never says anything because she's always in a constant state of spacing out and being dumb, and even if she weren't in this state, she wouldn't have a clue what we're talking about right now.

i guess i was supposed to start a journal 3 days ago.......for english and social studies. damnit!

well, thats about all. i think my sis's friends hate me, cuz when ever i go over to my sis's car, they completely ignore me. either its because they actually hate me, or they're just so peeved off at me for keeping them from their "sophie" time because they both secretly have crushes on her. hmmm.....confusing.
well, i should probably start on my auto biography. or i could watch tv and then start on my auto biography. hmm.......but i also need to take a shower, and do my french homework. hmm.....there's always tomorrow for my auto bio.

well, ciao

oh, and i have this study hall after lunch and i have to walk all the way down to the lower end of campus, which really sucks. and then i have to walk all the way back to the top of campus for math. ergh, who the hell arranged my schedule? this will suck in the winter time.
oh, and i took a math quiz today. i hope i get a good grade. wish me luck >.<
*crosses fingers*
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Tuesday, August 31, 2004

28:06:42:12 That is when the world will end
well..........................
saw the hot guy, saw my sis, saw all of her extremely cool friends, saw the dickhead, and the prick.
oh, i haven't introduced the prick yet, have i? well....he's evil, he's a prick, he's some student who thinks he's all high and mighty, and he tried to give me detention for not being in the cafeteria waiting for my ride like everyone else. well fuck you.
so yeh.......he's an evil bastard who will go to hell.

i have to write a little auto biography for my origins of human cultures class. snores galore. i'm going to be so boring. why would she want to read it?
"yes, i've spent about half of my life on my computer on the internet and being part of the cyber world."

well, i have to go write that thingy, watch tv, and do the rest of my homework. ergh. i hate highschool! why me? why can't i just never grow up and stay in middle school for forever? why?!

hmm.......
salut

oh, in french class my team was able to say the french alphabet faster than any other team so I (and everyone else on my team) won a fireball candy. i haven't eaten mine yet, i just like to smell it. ^_^
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Monday, August 30, 2004

The first TV soap opera debuted in 1946 ---- fact on my snapple bottle
well, i'm back from school
classes werent that bad, i didn't have to do anything in gym pretty much. yay! all we did was wait in the gym for our teacher who never showed up. so some girls got out a whiffle ball and bat and played baseball for fun. well....i got to first base twice. but i didn't get to second base. (get your minds out of the gutter you pervs, thats not what i'm talking about, lol!)
well, after school i found my sister, went over to her car to get a dollar because she drank my mango snapple (curse her!), so she gave me a buck to get another. while waiting at her car, her very hot and very cute friends geoff and lewis were there also. hmm.....
so yeh, anyways, i got my dollar, went to the cafeteria, got the snapple, sat down at a table and doodled while waiting for my ride. heather walked over and sat by me and talked to me (yay! she's so cool! she was wearing this crazy wig today! it rocked! i love her, honestly. heather u r my idol!)
while waiting in the cafeteria i saw the extremely cute guy that i have been obsessing about for awhile. he walked by my table acouple times. ^_^ (either he did it on purpose, or he had no clue where the fuck he was going.......i like to think his actions were intentional though.)
then we all had to sign this paper so that they knew who was all in the cafeteria waiting for their rides, and then once ur ride came u had to sign out.
i found out the guys name.....Brandon. hmmm.....i heart brandon ^_^

so now i have all this homework. ergh!
i have to get off in like...3 minutes to do it. (so says my mother, but she's watching some dvd, and she'll be pretty busy with that, and she'll totally forget about me. so i can stay on for forever or atleast until my dad comes home....then he kicks me off.)

oh, i got a new watch. its really spiffy. its blue on he outside, black on the inside, with blue and yellow minute hands, and yellow numbers. (its not digital)
then the wrist band it black with these little lightning bolt shaped thingys that are blue, with a bit of electric yellow on the side, so it looks sort of 3d ish.
its totally awesome!

oh, i tried to sign up for art, and change my classes so i didn't have my pointless study hall. but the art class was full for 2nd period. but i won't rest until i am in the art room during 2nd period. i will pull strings, kill or injure people, and possibly hurt someone's feelings to get into that class. i will leap over any obstacle as though it were a very low hurdle, and i will face all my oponents (student services, principal, ect.) with a smirk upon my face. i will succeed, and noone will bring me down. i will conquer!

well.........i had to lug my gym shoes around all day because i don't have a locker yet. i also had to lace them up during my study hall. they're all green reebok shoes with all this writing on it from my sis, and these awesome kick ass shoe laces. one of them is blue and the name gonzo is printed on it a million times. the other lace is black with these big white stars

well, laterz amigos

which hand do u wear ur watch on? i wear my watch on my right hand. but, then again i guess thats because i'm left handed. so.......r u right handed or left handed....i guess thats the ultimate question really.

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