Thursday, October 28, 2004

   Who Cares About Baseball Anyways?
Hell, I don't.

My week has been... bipolar, as usual. I am the queen of mood swings.

Le'see... I hope tomorrow is a good day. I kinda sorta have a boyfriend now, but, because I am a psycho freak, I'm constantly freaked out that he likes everyone but me. I need attention. Come on!

On the Boo front... things are going pretty well. He made fun of me for eating pizza for breakfast. Ah, c'est l'amour.

Joe and Matt spent a good 10 minutes of study hall trying to boost my ego. It was awesome. I love it when people compliment me. Call me vain; I don't care. Hearing people talk about how awesome I am just rocks my cornhole and wastes my days.

I need more happy pills. My tongue hurts. I had a really hot baked potato for dinner. It was huge! Mmm... potato. There is no doubt that I am of Irish descent.

I bought the best of Talking Heads c.d. It's so awesome. I've decided that I'm going to be a deranged David Byrne fan for Halloween. That won't be too hard.

I think I got a perfect score on my science test. I may be the only one. I'm so damned special!

I've been cutting myself again lately. Life has sucked, really. I wish the bf would give me a sign. I'd like to know how he feels about me.

Lauren's going to X-Country state finals tomorrow. I'm gonna miss her. She's really been good to me this year.

I feel like crying. I wish somebody would love me. Thats all I want. .:sings:. All you need is love.

I've been practicing bass a lot lately. I'll never be good enough, though. I'm also trying to learn Aeris Theme on the piano. It's actually not too hard. I just want to impress people. I want people to compliment me. No one ever does. Sometimes I wish I were invisible, but when I feel like I am, I hate it. I wish I knew what I want.

G'night, mi amigos, and wish me a nice week.
Lexi aka Bill.


Comments (1) | Permalink

Saturday, October 16, 2004

   Another Good Football Game
Mmm, I haven't written in a while. Eww, my hands are all sweaty. Anyways...

A week ago, I went to the speghetti factory with the orchestra. We had fun, and I hung out with a guy I have a crush on all day. He's name is Andrew. Keep that in mind.

Other than that, the past two weeks have sucked. I've been in such a sucky mood, so perfectionist-y. Where did that come from, anyways?

Boo's been paying me more attention lately. A LOT more. It's great, but I don't know how to respond! Have you ever been in a situation like that?

I hate it when people I.M. me just to ask "Whats up?" It pisses me off. .:fumes:.

Last night rocked anus and wasted day (long story). I went to the football game and hung out with Andrew for the vast majority of the game, except for when I was with Chaundra. God, that kid is so cool. But Andrew... I had fun hanging out with him. He's really good friends with a lot of the band geeks, so we sat up near them and had a good time. Mmmm, I like football games.

Boo hasn't been around too much lately. It saddens me, but at least Andrew is around!

Much Love and Happiness,
Billy Joe Bob (another long story)
Comments (0) | Permalink

Thursday, September 30, 2004

   Finally!
A step in the right direction. Now the ball is rolling for my being manager of the b-ball team. Probably freshman, though. Oh well, whatever'll get me to the top.

My Boo said hi to me last night! Once again, I couldn't speak >.< But thats okay because... well, see, he nods at people a lot. So I nodded back and smiled. Please tell me that's good enough...?

For the first time in my life, I'm not too worried for parent-teacher conferences. I want my teachers to meet my parents (my dad, in particular). I dunno why...

I'm so excited for tomorrow! And Saturday! The homecoming game is tomorrow. I'm gonna try to strike up conversations with "The Wives." "The Wives" are the wives of some of the teachers that I have. They are all VERY nice, even though one of them just met me last feb. I was unusually friendly towards her right from the get-go, because she could be a connection... Long story. Anyways... YAY!

My horoscope says that I'll have a good day tomorrow; I'll be able to communicate really well. Isn't that super? And it's a personalized horoscope, so it's more accurate than others. Yes, I do believe in horoscopes.

I had Jamba Juice after school today, because I didn't have enough time for lunch. >.< God damn... motherfu... .:mumbles incoherently:. lunch line. I HATE IT!!!! ARGH!

.:Sings along with How Soon Is Now? by The Smiths:. Apparently, sleeping with a bra on is good for you. It prevents sagging. And that's especially good when you've got a large chest, which I do.

I don't want to do science homework. I hate that bitch. Hate. Hate. Hate. HATE. HATE. HATE. HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ...Yes.

Ross and I locked Joe in a band locker today. We had some trouble trying to figure out how to lock it, because it didn't have a lock persay. Joe didn't care. He actually enjoyed it.

I wonder if my journalism teacher put those surveys into the teachers' mailboxes... I hope so.

I'm way tired. I didn't get to sleep until about 1 last night, and I woke up at 7:00, which is actually pretty late for me, considering you should be to school at 7:15, but that is hard to do because of the damn traffic. School starts at 7:30, but I like dressing out for gym early. I need to remember to bring my tennis shoes tomorrow. .:drills note into head:.

I'm running out of things to say. I took a quiz. I'm a liberal democrat. Come on, did we not know this? Argh.

Later, mi amigos y amigas.

Lexi aka Bill, Telephone Psychic to soap opera stars, master chef of italian foods, lover of sopapillas, who gets attention from her Boo (finally!), the Cancerian who will have a good day tomorrow, ultimate liberal democrat, formerly known as Techno.

P.S. I really feel like I'm wanting mexican food right now...
Comments (1) | Permalink

Saturday, September 25, 2004

   Stupid Kid! Get off of the fence, you'll break it! Moron.
Well, not really. It's a song.

Last night, I went to the mall with Mandy. I bought the necklace for my homecoming dress. Then we went to see Napoleon Dynamite. It was my third time seeing it, and it was her first. She loved it.

Guess what. The "Psycho Killer" found out that I think he would be the perfect serial killer. And he AGREED. Isn't that crazy? I pissed Ross of and he just kinda told him. Oh well.

I wanna go buy a cowboy hat. Monday is Western Day. Spirit week, mi amigos.

Lexi


Comments (1) | Permalink

Thursday, September 23, 2004

   I'm Wondering...
...if I did a good job interviewing my boo. He was nice, friendly... it was ok. I think... his eyes are brown, but with him, it's so hard to tell. I have to "establish a rapport" with him. Hey, works for me! Ugh, I don't think I'll get to be Varsity manager this year. I'll have Jessie put in a good word. A REALLY good word, because usually freshmen aren't allowed to manage varsity teams.

I hate science. Its so boring. And my teacher is totally crazy. When she's not being a total bitch, she's totally deranged. Diane's in that class, though. She makes it a wee bit more fun.

Nobody ever compliments me! I want to be praised! Gahh...

I love core. Love love love love love. I think my teachers are actually starting to like me. Probably because I like basketball. Woo-hoo! They are all really nice. And funny. I think I have math homework... Damn.

Ugh, I'm so nervous about how I did on the interview. I'll have my brother ask about it tomorrow. I feel so sick. I have a cold, and I've been phlegmy all day.

I'm tired. And I'm not aroused. I'm angry at that.
Comments (2) | Permalink

Sunday, September 19, 2004

Mmm... eggrolls.

I usually hate eggrolls, but the ones that Jessie makes are awesome. My aunt and uncle are in town now. I feel sorry for them, though, because they came to town on a weekend that I am feeling particularly bitchy.

I don't have school tomorrow, thank god. I still need to plan my outfit for Thursday. .:shakes uncontrollably:. I have to interview my boo on thursday for the newspaper. I talked to him on friday (woo-hoo!), and, contrary to what I had been setting myself up for, he was really nice. ^.^ Isn't that so very great? I looked really hot last thursday, to the extent that Joe said "You look stunning today!" He's a great kid. I told him about my boo, and now he, amoung others, makes fun of me all the time. Oh well.

I bought shoes for my homecoming dress. I'm so excited! I don't have a date, but that's ok. I'm trying to get a limo arranged for me and some friends.

Tomorrow is Dad's birthday... I forgot to get him something. I really want to make him a collage of stuff, but I haven't had time, so I'm thinking I'll give it to him as a Christmas present. I have to do homework tonight. Grr... Homework sucks. But school is still pretty ok, and that's good. I want to go play piano, but I want to wait until everyone goes home for the night.

I feel so full, although I haven't eaten much today. I've lost 14 pounds since June, and now I really want to keep that up. The thought of overeating makes me want to cry. Am I turning into Lauren?

No, that's impossible. Anyways, I'm pissed at her. She's totally been ditching me for her boyfriend, but whatever.

Well, if I don't write before thursday, wish me luck on the interview. I just hope I don't say anything stupid...
Comments (0) | Permalink

Friday, September 10, 2004

   Why is it that Friday is always the only truly good day of the week?
Check title. I mean, why is it? It pisses me off, today was pretty cool.

Gym was pretty fun, as usually. Mr. B (I'm just gonna use initials) is really funny. He's a cool teacher. A living contradiction, he looks like a drill instructer, but he's actually pretty cool. Science still sucks. It always will. I hate Mrs. A. She is such a ho-beast. Hostile... In core, we had a debate, it was cool. I'm so militantly liberal. L.A. sucks, though. Major. Journalism is getting better. I got the beats(no, not drum beats, moron) that I wanted ^.^ Very cool. I'll get to talk to my Boo more!

I feel so constipated... It sucks...

Football game tonight. Gotta look SEXY! Just in case I see my Boo. He seems to look at me more when I look good. Gotta keep that in mind. The feeling has gone away, though. You know, that feeling that I talked about yesterday? It's gone. Still lusty for my Boo. Once again, I was very very aroused today. *.*

Ali wasn't at school all week. Grr...

Hung out with Mattjoe a lot today. He's a cool kid, dating a bitch. I hate that chic. Ross and I didn't talk much today, but I did talk to Joe in gym, as I always do. Andy sits behind me in core. He's a funny kid. I hear he's dating Andrea. I hope not, that'd be sad, she's so damn evil. HATE!!! -.-

I'm tired, I don't have much to say anymore.

Much love.
Comments (1) | Permalink

Thursday, September 9, 2004

   One of those Die Narcissist days...
Whoa, what's with the title? Even I don't know.

I hate science. I hate science. Hate, hate hate. HATE HATE HATE! My science teacher is so damn EVIL! DIE! She will die... in my movie! .:laughs:.

Today was another block day. It was ok, except for having 1 1/2 hours of science. Core was kinda boring. Really boring, actually. But we talked about what political party we belong in. Dirty conservative or flaming liberal? I'm a liberal. Definately. So is the majority of that class. Ahhh, we all hate Bush. And I hate Colorado's government. Our governer is a moron.

We had orch today. That was ok. I like being a bass player. I get to hang out with Ross and Joe. Uber-cool. Gahh, I need to fart. But I can't. Doesn't that suck?

Ali wasn't at school... again... I have a fear of missing school, because it means running a mile. Unless I miss a thursday. But that would piss off my science teacher. I have a lot of cool teachers, but not her.

Gahhhh, I've been so spazzy lately. I can't look at my Boo. I have a theory as to why, though. I'm afraid that he'll see me. Plus, looking at him is addictive. GAHHHHHHHH! I'm really pissed off about that. He's so sexy. And so intimidating. And I think he drives a Jeep, or something like it. Not an off-roader or anything. I'm just glad he doesn't drive a saturn or something. That'd be so... not Boo. .:cries:. Why am I feeling so weird about him lately? DON'T LET GO! I don't want to let go. This is the feeling I get whenever I feel like I'm ready to let go. I've seriously considered it in the past, but... he's become a part of me. He has his own drawer in my soul. Nowadays, I get really upset when part of me tries to get rid of him. Times like these, it hurts to look at him. It hurts not to. It's sick. It hurts. I... I want him to see me. Not in a weird or embarrassing way, just... in admiration, or... mixed feelings, like those I feel when I think about him. I hope this all blows over tomorrow. He looked at me a lot at the last football game, maybe he will tomorrow. I just have to inconspicuously stay close to him... That'd be really easy to do if it rained really hard tomorrow.

GOD ALMIGHTY! ENOUGH OF THESE POP-UPS! .:slams fist on desk:.

Hmmm... why won't anyone pick up the phone at Ali's house? This sucks. I want to talk to her.
Comments (0) | Permalink

Pfffshaw. I want to sleep. I'm not tired. It sucks.

Today? Today was pretty ok. In gym, we ran a mile... I kinda cheated. I can't run, people can't seem to understand that... I'm a fatass. It was a block day, so I still had core. Boring, yet fun. Is that possible? Sounds so... controdictive (is that a word?) I don't know, I've been filling up my boredom by thinking of gruesome films for a Die Narcissist slasher flic. I've got some good ones. Ross is gonna be shoved feet-first into a meat grinder .:lexi starts singing Another Brick in the Wall:., Mattjoe is gonna be stabbed in the back, and my most annoying teacher is gonna die by getting a mechanical pencil jammed into her neck. Sick. Yes.

Ali wasn't at school today... it sucks. And I didn't have time to call her. I went to the Gap after school and bought some more jeans. Long and lean... for my uber-tallness.

I've also been relieving my boredom by relieving menstrual cramps. How do I do that? Simple: I become thouroughly aroused. It's so easy during school...

Joe's been hanging out with me and Lauren a lot lately. He seems to prefer her, but she thinks he's so geeky. I have a lot in common with him. We're both artistic, musical, liberals... the list goes on. And... we're into S&M. It's kinda disturbing to other people, but in the middle of class, we'll just get into a slap war, or hurt eachother in some way. Crazy, no?

I see my boo literally everyday (but thursdays are difficult to find him), but it's so depressing. Sometimes he'll look at me, sometimes he doesn't. It's a double edged sword: We he doesn't look at me, I worry that he doesn't know I exist; when he DOES look at me, I become so scared that he's found out about himself. I wish... he would look at me more, though. He looked at me a lot at the football game last Friday. I looked really good that night. We kinda had a glance-war. He'd look at me, I'd feel it, so I'd look at him, we'd look at eachother for about 3 seconds, then we'd look away. Or at least I would. I'm not sure about him. I think I would like for him to stare at me when I look away. Feeling his stare... it's a craving. Divine violation... my fantasy, or my nightmare? You tell me, as I obviously can't figure it out myself. Does he know how funny I can be? Doubtful. I wish that people would tell him. I'm so damn funny... so sardonic. I don't know, maybe he wouldn't like that.

I have Ross in a few of my classes. In core, he'll look at me and mouth the words "Serial Killer." It's becoming an inside joke. I like having inside jokes. Makes me feel special ^.^ He's so funny.

Mattjoe is also funny. It's funny, we probably wouldn't be friends if not for Ali's sister's best friend. It's complicated. He's a spazz. Thank god for highschool, there are so many more artistic (Joe) guys, funny (Ross) guys, and spastic (Mattjoe) guys. Not to mention my boo... O.~

... I would make such a good raver. Wait, no... I'd fall asleep too quickly. Gahhh, I love techno music. And Talking Heads. I swear, I am the only person in my grade who's even HEARD of Talking Heads (except Ali, but I was the one who introduced her to their music).

My eye hurts. I was practicing putting on eye makeup and I accidentally stabbed my eye with the liner brush. Eye makeup can be such a demon. I like lipstick. Red, raisin colored lipstick. It boosts my self esteem.

Shit-ahhh, I'm running out of ideas... I'm just in a "rambling" mood. .:laughs at self:. I totally just said mood aloud. I'll say things aloud while I'm typing them. It's hillarious. Ha, I just said "It's hillarious" out loud. Damn. I'm so pathetic...

AHHH I DON'T WANT TO GO TO SCIENCE!!! NO!!! SHE'S SO EVIL!!! I hate that class. It's so boring... And we're not even allowed (I had trouble spelling that one) to talk. Math's boring, but at least she doesn't care if we talk... Actually, she doesn't care much about anything. Do I have homework? I hope not. I want to dick around on paintshop. I'm just trying to remember if I have homework in Govt. ... ... ... Dammit, I do! Oh well. It's just stuff about the liberal - conservative spectrum. Really, I know this. I know I'm a liberal. I will most likely always be a liberal. You can't be influenced by Boulder without being a total liberal. The Denver-Boulder equation. Denver is right wing, our damned state government is so right wing. But Boulder... anyone been to Boulder? It... speaks for itself. Very hippie-chic. Denver... isn't.

When am I going to get this done? Later. I'll probably start in about 10 minutes. Wait, no, 9 minutes. FEBREZE! God, that stuff is so damn wonderful. It's like a drug. I should make a quiz... about which type of Febreze you are. Would you guys take it? Please? Nobody ever takes my quizzes. I feel so neglected. I want to practice my bass right now, but that would piss my brothers off.

I'll write for 6 more minutes. WOAH, it's already 10:44. Somebody is not going to sleep well tonight. .:listens to Psycho Killer:. He sounds so crazy in this song. Screw! David Byrne is so damn cool.

There's an Aquafina bottle on my desk. When it comes to bottled water, I only drink Aquafina. Or Fiji. Preferably Aquafina. It's so much better than it's competitors. .:cough:. Arrowhead .:cough:. Go Peace Jam! ... Why did I even join? It sounds like a lot of work... Do I want to do it? I can't let Joe down... I'll think about it.

Well, time's almost up.

Much Love,
Sexi Lexi aka Bill, who is apparently an "All Star" for knowing what a Social Contract is, co-founder of Die Narcissist productions, queen of bassists.
Comments (1) | Permalink

Tuesday, September 7, 2004

   Owww!
Sometimes I hate being a chic. Cramps hurt, yo! I keep imagining my government teacher as a serial killer. It's a problem, and today I was really turned on by him. No, I don't have a murder fetish, I've just been... oh. .:closes eyes and exhales:.
Comments (0) | Permalink