Thursday, September 9, 2004

Pfffshaw. I want to sleep. I'm not tired. It sucks.

Today? Today was pretty ok. In gym, we ran a mile... I kinda cheated. I can't run, people can't seem to understand that... I'm a fatass. It was a block day, so I still had core. Boring, yet fun. Is that possible? Sounds so... controdictive (is that a word?) I don't know, I've been filling up my boredom by thinking of gruesome films for a Die Narcissist slasher flic. I've got some good ones. Ross is gonna be shoved feet-first into a meat grinder .:lexi starts singing Another Brick in the Wall:., Mattjoe is gonna be stabbed in the back, and my most annoying teacher is gonna die by getting a mechanical pencil jammed into her neck. Sick. Yes.

Ali wasn't at school today... it sucks. And I didn't have time to call her. I went to the Gap after school and bought some more jeans. Long and lean... for my uber-tallness.

I've also been relieving my boredom by relieving menstrual cramps. How do I do that? Simple: I become thouroughly aroused. It's so easy during school...

Joe's been hanging out with me and Lauren a lot lately. He seems to prefer her, but she thinks he's so geeky. I have a lot in common with him. We're both artistic, musical, liberals... the list goes on. And... we're into S&M. It's kinda disturbing to other people, but in the middle of class, we'll just get into a slap war, or hurt eachother in some way. Crazy, no?

I see my boo literally everyday (but thursdays are difficult to find him), but it's so depressing. Sometimes he'll look at me, sometimes he doesn't. It's a double edged sword: We he doesn't look at me, I worry that he doesn't know I exist; when he DOES look at me, I become so scared that he's found out about himself. I wish... he would look at me more, though. He looked at me a lot at the football game last Friday. I looked really good that night. We kinda had a glance-war. He'd look at me, I'd feel it, so I'd look at him, we'd look at eachother for about 3 seconds, then we'd look away. Or at least I would. I'm not sure about him. I think I would like for him to stare at me when I look away. Feeling his stare... it's a craving. Divine violation... my fantasy, or my nightmare? You tell me, as I obviously can't figure it out myself. Does he know how funny I can be? Doubtful. I wish that people would tell him. I'm so damn funny... so sardonic. I don't know, maybe he wouldn't like that.

I have Ross in a few of my classes. In core, he'll look at me and mouth the words "Serial Killer." It's becoming an inside joke. I like having inside jokes. Makes me feel special ^.^ He's so funny.

Mattjoe is also funny. It's funny, we probably wouldn't be friends if not for Ali's sister's best friend. It's complicated. He's a spazz. Thank god for highschool, there are so many more artistic (Joe) guys, funny (Ross) guys, and spastic (Mattjoe) guys. Not to mention my boo... O.~

... I would make such a good raver. Wait, no... I'd fall asleep too quickly. Gahhh, I love techno music. And Talking Heads. I swear, I am the only person in my grade who's even HEARD of Talking Heads (except Ali, but I was the one who introduced her to their music).

My eye hurts. I was practicing putting on eye makeup and I accidentally stabbed my eye with the liner brush. Eye makeup can be such a demon. I like lipstick. Red, raisin colored lipstick. It boosts my self esteem.

Shit-ahhh, I'm running out of ideas... I'm just in a "rambling" mood. .:laughs at self:. I totally just said mood aloud. I'll say things aloud while I'm typing them. It's hillarious. Ha, I just said "It's hillarious" out loud. Damn. I'm so pathetic...

AHHH I DON'T WANT TO GO TO SCIENCE!!! NO!!! SHE'S SO EVIL!!! I hate that class. It's so boring... And we're not even allowed (I had trouble spelling that one) to talk. Math's boring, but at least she doesn't care if we talk... Actually, she doesn't care much about anything. Do I have homework? I hope not. I want to dick around on paintshop. I'm just trying to remember if I have homework in Govt. ... ... ... Dammit, I do! Oh well. It's just stuff about the liberal - conservative spectrum. Really, I know this. I know I'm a liberal. I will most likely always be a liberal. You can't be influenced by Boulder without being a total liberal. The Denver-Boulder equation. Denver is right wing, our damned state government is so right wing. But Boulder... anyone been to Boulder? It... speaks for itself. Very hippie-chic. Denver... isn't.

When am I going to get this done? Later. I'll probably start in about 10 minutes. Wait, no, 9 minutes. FEBREZE! God, that stuff is so damn wonderful. It's like a drug. I should make a quiz... about which type of Febreze you are. Would you guys take it? Please? Nobody ever takes my quizzes. I feel so neglected. I want to practice my bass right now, but that would piss my brothers off.

I'll write for 6 more minutes. WOAH, it's already 10:44. Somebody is not going to sleep well tonight. .:listens to Psycho Killer:. He sounds so crazy in this song. Screw! David Byrne is so damn cool.

There's an Aquafina bottle on my desk. When it comes to bottled water, I only drink Aquafina. Or Fiji. Preferably Aquafina. It's so much better than it's competitors. .:cough:. Arrowhead .:cough:. Go Peace Jam! ... Why did I even join? It sounds like a lot of work... Do I want to do it? I can't let Joe down... I'll think about it.

Well, time's almost up.

Much Love,
Sexi Lexi aka Bill, who is apparently an "All Star" for knowing what a Social Contract is, co-founder of Die Narcissist productions, queen of bassists.
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