Monday, September 20, 2004

Hello! Didn't exactly have the best weekend. I've had cold since Friday and on Saturday I had to go to my uncle's Funeral(the one that died in January-my aunt wanted his ashes to be buried here where my grandparents were buried). Feeling better now though. Still bummed that I didn't make it into chamber choir, but I'll get over it. My friend signed me up to audition for Cache(a small women's acappella singing group)tomorrow, and I hadn't really planned to audition lol! She just walked into class at the end of the day, sat down, and said "Okay, I signed you up to audition for cache after school tomorrow!" So yeah I'm a little nervous for that but I guess it'll be a good experience, even though I know I won't make it in. I have to harmonize with the choir teacher singing Amazing Grace. I haven't had much experience harmonizing outside of choir, but we have an hour before I have to audition to practice. Wish me luck! ^_^
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Friday, September 17, 2004

   I didn't make it into chamber choir. I can't help feeling bummed. My friend Holly made it in, and I'm happy for her, of course I am. But I can't help feeling really bad because I didn't do well enough to get into something that really meant a lot to me.
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Thursday, September 16, 2004

Hola! MY FRIEND BURNED ME A COPY OF EVANESCENCE'S ORIGIN CD! It's soooooooooo good! The version of Imaginary on it is so pretty. Lies is a really good song too. Anyhoo, school's going pretty well. I had auditions for chamber choir yesterday, so wish me luck on making it in! I had to sing Greensleeves, which went pretty well, tonal memory(where the teacher plunks out a few random notes on the piano and I had to sing them back), and sight reading, which I did terribly on because I was too quiet. The teacher said I had a "really, really pretty voice" but I'm sure he was just saying that because I was nervous. I don't know when I find out if I made it in. Possibly tomorrow. I reeeeally hope I made it in!
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Monday, September 13, 2004

Hellooo. I did the dance audition last Friday. I sucked, but not as badly as I had expected to. Still, I didn't make callbacks. Suprise, surprised. I know they always say "Just because you didn't make callbacks doesn't mean you aren't in the play" but in my opinion that's a bunch of sh...ahem....not true. I can't help feeling a bit sad about it-not because I didn't make callbacks, but because I know I could have sung and acted better than I did at auditions. Oh, well. There'll be other plays, and hopefully I'll make it into chamber choir(auditions are in a few days for that!). Well.....that's about it.
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Friday, September 10, 2004

   Just got back from the dance auditions. I still sucked, but not as much as I thought I would. I'm just happy I tried. I don't expect to make it in, of course, but I'm glad I got the experience. Well...chamber choir auditions are next week, so, yay, more auditions! And these ones don't include dancing! I have to sing "Greensleeves," do some sight reading, and tonal memory. So wish me luck for that!
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Thursday, September 9, 2004

   musical auditions
I just got back from auditions. Dear lord.....why do I even bother!? I mean, I like acting and singing. Of course I do. But I always suck at auditions. The acting and singing part was actually okay. It could have been worse anyway. But as for the dancing.....dear lord I am SCREWED. The dance instructor taught us the dance we're supposed to do tomorrow and I don't get it at all. We went over it plenty, I just can't dance. I slipped and fell on my butt right at the beginning! And I'm always one step behind everyone else, off count, I don't even know how to do most of it....and I have to perform it in front of about sixty people tomorrow for auditions. I really considered just not showing up, but I don't want them to think I'm a quitter. So...I'll let them think I'm a crappy dancer, but I don't want them to think I'm a quitter. So I shall go tomorrow, make a complete ass of myself, and hope they look past the fact that I suck and notice the fact that I didn't give up. And I hope the dance instructor doesn't hate me, because I have him for English next tri. Anyway....I'm just kind of frusterated with myself right now, for not doing my best and for being really annoying at auditions. I have a feeling I was annoying my friend a lot since I was so nervous, so Karl, if you're reading this, thank you for being so patient and I'm sorry for being such a pain.
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Tuesday, September 7, 2004

first day of school
Yup, fun stuff! Well....not really, kind of boring since most of the classes just discussed all the rules, but it was still okay. Intro to acting is so fun! I love it! We don't have it in the auditorium though, 'cause they're gonna be working on the musical there, so we're having class in the dance studio. The rest of the classes were pretty uneventful. My Spanish teacher's really funny, so that's cool. So...yeah. That's it! Bye!
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Friday, September 3, 2004

Went to my school's open house on Wednesday. Yep.....much fun. Okay, actually not really, it wasn't that exciting. I just got my schedule and showed my sister where her classes were(she's starting ninth grade this year). She's really nervous and doesn't want to start school at all, but hopefully she'll get used to it after the first week. Anyway, yeah, I got my schedule-
1.intro to acting: I get to start my day in the auditorium! COOL! ^_^
2. Varsity choir:I really wanted to be in Bel Canto choir, but varsity's cool too.
3. U.S. History: Hm...could be fun.
4. geometry: ....MEH.
5. Spanish III: That'll be cool. Spanish is one of my favorite subjects and the teacher seems nice.
6. General science: Again...MEH!
7. adv. lit/writing: Yay!
I also got the audition material for the musical and found out there's a mandatory dance audition!! I AM SO SCREWED! I suck at dancing! People laugh when I try to dance! I have enough trouble with DDR! And I don't think the coreographer likes me, so that doesn't help the situation! Well...maybe if I do really well on the singing and acting parts of the audition I can get a small part even if I suck at dancing.
I haven't talked to my friend lately about her problems. I really don't know what I'd say. I mean, I've told her how dangerous what she's doing is, so have all of our other friends, but she doesn't seem to care. I'm really worried.
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Wednesday, September 1, 2004

Well, my friend said she hasn't cut herself lately. That's good, but I'm not sure if it means she'll completely stop. Now she's started purging, which is INSANE because she's one of the skinniest people I know. I don't know how I can convince her to stop hurting herself.
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Sunday, August 29, 2004

   I'm really worried about my friend. She's seriously depressed, and talking about committing suicide and I don't know what to do. She posted this in her xanga:
"I hate when people ask me "what's wrong" because what they don't understand is that nothing is ever right anymore. I try to talk to people, but they tell me to stop because I freak them out so much. If me talking about cutting and suicide and shit freaks you out, then don't f*cking tell me I can call you! Damn, people. Shit happens, ya know? Some of us can just take it better than others. And I can't handle much more. I try to get help but everything just gets worse... I want to die, I want to die, I want to die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I don't know what to do about it, because if I say something she'll get angry at me. She used to cut herself in seventh grade too, and I thought she was better, but now....I'm just really scared. If I don't do anything, she might do something really bad, and if I do do something, I might make it worse. If anyone has any advice on how to deal with this, please let me know, because I really don't want to lose my friend.
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