Friday, February 22, 2008

Upload!

:) I'm back fully, I guess!

"This entire opus is respectfully dedicated to those who have loved unconditionally only to have their hearts unanaesthetically ripped out; base not your joy upon the deeds of others, for what is given can be taken away. No hope = No fear." - Peter Steele (1962 - )

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Wednesday, February 20, 2008

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   Back

:) Haven't been here in a while, yet again. Hopefully I'll upload some stuff.

So how's life been treatin' ya?










"This entire opus is respectfully dedicated to those who have loved unconditionally only to have their hearts unanaesthetically ripped out; base not your joy upon the deeds of others, for what is given can be taken away. No hope = No fear." - Peter Steele (1962 - )

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Friday, December 28, 2007

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   Haappy Holiidaays. :|

Damn it all. To hell.

Winter holidays, most stressful time of year. That and if I don't get the hell out of here soon, I'll go fucking crazy. And I've noticed winter periods for me, are more like effing heat.

Anyhow, I imagine a bunch of you are going "WHAT THE FUUUUCK MAN!? Hook me up with your freaking comics or soma shit, and quit reading fucking vamp porn or whateva!".

Like LOL, I've finished tying all my stories (how she means to say it: I've finished connecting all my stories, since like lol, same uuuuniverse). Meaning you'll see a shit load of characters from several other comics appearing "randomly" (that's what you'll think anyways) in other comics. I.E. Rixz in Archetype. Since he enjoys teasing the shit out of Vee, or brief appearances of Vee+Zee in Shroooom Land. Or Ter-Ter's bloodpressure spiking when "introduced" to Tom and the rest of the Shrooom gay boys. Fucking homophobe. :|

And lots more wierd shiiit. Like Zee singing "Beat It Upright". Which is definately not like him, but nonetheless entertaining. :D

For those who are interested, NEW COMIC STATUS! (crowds roar)

Abstracted Realm - started
Alex in Shroom Land - ready, set, go!
Archetype - all ready to go, muthaz and bruthaz
Reveck -

Beginnings - ready, set, no-go.
Tourniquet - ready, set, go!
-reveck- - hellz yeah

.

"Ass up high, make a motherfu-cker cry. It's so good, that I could die. Help me stay alive." (LOL, that's gonna be so fun. Zee turning pervy. *giggles*)



"This entire opus is respectfully dedicated to those who have loved unconditionally only to have their hearts unanaesthetically ripped out; base not your joy upon the deeds of others, for what is given can be taken away. No hope = No fear." - Peter Steele (1962 - )

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Sunday, November 25, 2007

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The Internet Returns!

(I lost my internet connection for a couple days...)

Mostly. :/ Its still goes into random comas.

Soo, what have I been up too, you ask? I've been (re)writing Tourniquet (I'm on chapter three now!), and working on this drawing of Orann and Ratori, which is taking a hell of a long time to finish coloring.

And designing what Vee'll look like appromately ten days before he dies/is killed. (He dies rather young... 500-years or so...)

AND creating Orann's cwalu team-mates: Seo Cwalu de Giogoð, Seo Cwalu de Adl, and Seo Cwalu de Bealo. _{Direct translation: "Death of the Young", "Death of Sickness", and "Death of Harm". Indirect: "Killer of Young", "The Death Sickness", and "Harmful Death".}

Also, I'm planning on killing Ramsey, my cat, he's been waking me up at 3 AM every morning. And today, he wandered into my effing room. I was ready to kick him down the stairs (he lives in the basement, I sleep on the second floor...)

I'm readdicted to playing Virtual Villagers. I'm sure that there's been some imbreeding going on though, because I lost my papers of whose parents are whose, so now its just a free for all orgie with Nanu, my Esteamed Elder. I'm pretty sure he's had a kid with one of his kids by now... At least they all like working, instead of roaming around being dipshits. Like Bobo. And Amina.

And I found out my boyfriend wants to be a girl. Now, I'm curious of who's the bitch...

SO.

How was your Thanksgiving's?

"This entire opus is respectfully dedicated to those who have loved unconditionally only to have their hearts unanaesthetically ripped out; base not your joy upon the deeds of others, for what is given can be taken away. No hope = No fear." - Peter Steele (1962 - )

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Monday, November 12, 2007

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Abstracted Realm - Creature Study


"This entire opus is respectfully dedicated to those who have loved unconditionally only to have their hearts unanaesthetically ripped out; base not your joy upon the deeds of others, for what is given can be taken away. No hope = No fear." - Peter Steele (1962 - )

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Sunday, November 11, 2007

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Stinkfist.

[Stinkfist by Tool]
Something has to change.
Undeniable dilemma.
Boredom's not a burden anyone should bear.
Constant over stimulation numbs me
But I would not want you any other way.
Just not enough.
I need more.
Nothing seems to satisfy.
I said, I don't want it.
I just need it.
To breathe, to feel, to know I'm alive.

Finger deep within the borderline.
Show me that you love me and that we belong together.
Relax, turn around and take my.

I can help you change tired moments into pleasure.
Say the word and we'll be well upon our waaay.
Blend and balance pain and comfort deep within you
till you will not want me any other way.
But it's not enough.
I need more.
Nothing seems to satisfy.
I said, I don't want it.
I just need it.
To breathe, to feel, to know I'm alive.

Knuckle deep inside the borderline.
This may hurt a little but it's something you'll get used to.
Relax. Slip awaaaaaaaay.

Chupa minha pica pichu
Chupa minha pica pinto

Something kinda sad about,
the way that things have come to be.
Desensitized to everything.
What became of subtlety?

How can it mean anything to me,
if I really don't feel a thing at all?

I'll, keep, digging
till I, feel, something.

Elbow deep inside the borderline.
Show me that you love me and that we belong together.
Shoulder deep within the borderline.
Relax, turn around and take my hand.

.:.:.:.

_{Such creative journal entry titles lately, huh? :rolls eyes:}

In before erotic song lyrics.

Anywho, I'm definately getting sicker. I can stand the hacking/wheezing. Its the upset stomach shit, and kidney pain that's killing me.

Oh and guess what guise? STRESS can cause KIDNEY DAMAGE. Fuck. D: Curse you health class! Why couldn't you have told me that earlier?

Went in the back of the swamp again today. Stayed out for like four hours, just sketching. And I wasn't even sketching the swamp. I created a new specie for The Abstracted Realm. Riad. (tRIAD)

I'll explain more when I upload the sketches.

"This entire opus is respectfully dedicated to those who have loved unconditionally only to have their hearts unanaesthetically ripped out; base not your joy upon the deeds of others, for what is given can be taken away. No hope = No fear." - Peter Steele (1962 - )

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Wednesday, November 7, 2007

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Bottom.

LYRICS OF MY LIFE
[Bottom by Tool]
My compassion is broken now.
My will is eroded now,
and my desire is broken now
and it makes me feel ugly.
I'm on my knees and burning.
My piss and moans are the fuel that,
set my head on fire.
So smell my soul is burning.
I'm broken, looking up to see the enemy.
And I have swallowed the poison you feed me...
but I survive on it, and it leaves me
guilt, fed,
hatred fed,
weakness fed..
and it makes me feel ugly.
On my knees and burning.
My piss and moans are the fuel that
set my head on fire.
I'm dead insiiiiiiiiiiiiide!

(Shiiit aadds up 3x)
Shit adds up at the bottooom...

-Henry Rollins: If I let you, you would make me destroy myself. But in order to survive you, I must first survive myself. I can sink no further and I cannot forgive you. There's no choice but to confront you, to engage you, to erase you. I've gone to great lengths to expand my threshold of pain. I will use my mistakes against you. There's no other choice. Shameless now. Nameless now. Nothing now. No one now. But my soul must be iron cause my fear is naked. I'm naked and fearless.-
And my fear is nakeeeeeeeeed!

(Deead iinsiide. 4x)
Neeeedless now,
shaaameless now,
noooothing now,
nooo one now.
(Shit adds up 4x)
You see me naaaaked now,
feeeearless now,
naaaaked now,
feeeeearless now.
You see... shit adds up.
Shit adds, shit adds, shit adds up.
It leaves me (deeead iinsiide 3x),
dead, insiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiide!

Hatred keeps me alive,
ugliness keeps me alive,
weakness keeps me alive,
guilt keeps me alive
at the bottoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom!




.:.:.:.

What the hell man? This has been the weirdest week by far. [And its only WEDNESDAY!]

~ Alex has a crush on me; I wouldn't mind if it weren't for the fact that I hardly know her!

~ Big Mike walked to my house yesterday. What's worse is the FUCKING MAILMAN told him where we live. Imagine if I had a fucking assassin after me or something!? _{Note To Self: Those mailmen are shady ones...}

~ Whoever invented the fucking "turn back the clocks" shit, was REAL asshole! So NOW I'm waking up at "5:00 AM" and in reality its what? 6? _{Thanks for ruining my fun, Syuga :<}

~ I feel like I'm living at the Bottom, hence the title. Specially the "Hatred keeps me alive,
ugliness keeps me alive, weakness keeps me alive, guilt keeps me alive, at the bottom!" part.

*SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGH* Also I've got a short story to write for English, and I get the feeling its crap. I mean, HELL I haven't written ANYTHING IN AGES!!

Plus, I'm going to have to create a fucking seperatey image things for my journal; which you KNOW I won't remember to update a lot. I'll probably end up sticking it in my ender and forgetting about it. :shrug:

Expect my journal to devour the page [AND your message boxes] in a few weeks or something.





"This entire opus is respectfully dedicated to those who have loved unconditionally only to have their hearts unanaesthetically ripped out; base not your joy upon the deeds of others, for what is given can be taken away. No hope = No fear." - Peter Steele (1962 - )

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Saturday, November 3, 2007

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Rant of Epic Proportions

THE SICK ONE, revised

It waits in solitude, hoping for the day of its release. But that day may never come if its hands continue to be stained with the blood of veins.

The others feel what this creature brings, be it toy(?), or be it limb. Any who wrongly cross paths with it, will forever cower under its hatred. Hatred blackening the sun.

It calls for tolerance, it calls for revenge. It wants for all to fear. Live in fear, be one with fear, forever cling to your nightmares!

The day of release, a cry rises through the air; its dirty blood stains the walls. Walls that keep it captive no more.

Its eyes close, and its breath slows. The end has come.


HATRED WITHOUT REASON

My first breathe, followed by an ear-shattering scream. My body trembled with fear and the cold. My eyes were closed tightly, unable to open them, I only screamed louder.

My frail body passed from the giant, warm, but gentle hands of my papai, to the dainty, caring hands of momai. She placed my head against her breast, whispering silently, sobs interrupting her words. I struggled to peel open my eyes, and hardly managed a glance at momai. Her deep, dark green eyes crying silently, for fear of frightening me.

But I knew what was happening. I had left the womb yet my brother, my master Konaki had not.

Time dragged by, and my voice had faded. Momai and I were both crying silently, but for entirely different reasons. She had lost a child, and I had won the battle between Us. Papai “looked” me over, using his hands strangely enough. Then he sat down next momai, and cradled her small frame in his long, muscular arms.

An hour had passed, so dadai had said. The word seemed familiar to me, but I couldn’t think of its meaning. Konaki talked about it all the time. Hour… hourglass… his favorite words, it seemed at times.

“Sceadu…” rumbled papai’s deep, growling voice, unable to produce words of comfort. He continued, “Maybe there was only one…” He spoke so low, it was hard to distinguish his words from another. I couldn’t remember the meaning of most of the words anyways.

“K-k-kutt-rai-hic-ne!” she sobbed loudly, pressing her head into his thick chest. Momai’s timid voice whimpered into my short, thin hair. I clutched momai’s finger, quietly, and hoped Konaki would never see the light of day.

Dadai stood over in the corner, obviously wanting nothing to do with any of us. “Biggest mistake of my life,” he slurred under his breath, and clutched the empty bottle in large hand, tighter.

Momai gasped suddenly. Her eyes rolled into the back of her head. I screamed in terror. He had won again!


“Two hours late. But he’s fine, Scea. See?” papai, cradling the ugly creature dubbed “Ver Kai”. He whined loudly, and waved his puny fists in the air, angrily. He placed the fat pig next to me, and he quieted instantly. Ver Kai stared at me, with all three of his horrible eyes. His naked, chubby body squirmed under my emotionless gaze. I was too consumed with hate, but I would not give him the satisfaction of knowing it.

He sneezed violently, and his entire form shook from the force. He smiled and giggled, and that smacked me in the face with his fat fingers.


When momai reawoke, almost a “day” later, papai had told her, she was overjoyed to see the hideous creature. My brother.

To this day, I cannot fathom, why she would choose the dogfaced boy, such as he, over me. Gift to the earth.

My poor, poor brother I can only imagine what you’ll have to deal with from me. But of course, I don’t care about your feelings, you overgrown fetus!

_{Although, even after writing this, Zee never did find reason beyond the fact that their previous incarnations were at war, to actually hate Vee. Until Vee learned the word “cryptorchid”, of course.}


TO THE HEARTBREAKER
I
Will
Destroy
Everything
About
You
That
Makes
Me
Feel
Complete.

The End of
All you’ve meant
To me,
Nears.

I can’t
Take this
Crap
Anymore.

R U N

Run,
Run away
Hide from my hate
Fearing your own wrath
Frightened by the prospect of pain
And sacrifice
So sweet, innocent
Pure.
I am Tainted
Hated, evil
To be destroyed
Deserves death
Painful at that
Take away everything
Now!

TO MY FRIENDS,

I’ll bet you’ve noticed how I’m a bit more withdrawn from you all lately, huh? I’m just so full of anger lately. Lots of things in my life have been flipped upside down lately, and rarely do I get a chance to just rest.

Don’t just be afraid to break the barrier, be afraid of me. I’ve been feeling like my mind is slipping; your mere presence may set me off. I can’t stand to hear anyone’s voice, (not even my own). Right now, all that I feel is keeping me sane is my music.

It’s rare, when the presence of just about everyone, sets me alight; usually it lasts less then a few hours. But this particular episode, is two weeks, and going strong.

The only emotions I’m feeling is hate, hate, hate. Not necessarily towards you (Danielle, Ashlyn, Alex, Lisa, Melissa, Erica, Ashleigh and everyone else).

I think its (supposed to be directed) towards me. But I can’t really hate myself, when everyone is around. Its being directed towards all of you instead now.

I wish I had the cowardice/decency to rid the world of a horrible creature such as me, but I lack the ability. So, no this is not a suicide not. (If only it was :roll:)

What makes me laugh is everyone (and I mean everyone) is scared of me. Most aren’t even familiar with me. Is my true nature really that apparent? Can you all see the pain, the hate, the violence in my face? If you can, I never figured my emotions were that easy to read.

As much as I love being friends with all of you, I … think maybe I should keep my distance. I don’t feel myself anymore.

If you cross the barrier I’ve set down, it’s at your own risk. (and I kind of want you all to do so).

I feel guilty for having those dreams, about killing Melissa (D).

I feel guilty for feeling attraction towards Danielle and Peter, especially because they were dating at the time, I had a crush on them.

I hate myself for getting so close to Ashlyn. I wish I had seen it coming. I’d rather be the User (and the Loser) then the Used.

And as much as all of you get on my nerves, for one reason or another, I still want to get to know you better [Reggie, Lisa, Johnny, Alex, Ashleigh, Melissa, and all of my new friends.]

I just want to cease to exist.


To Melissa D,

I don’t care if you tell anyone I want to be a boy/transvestite. I’m just glad you took it so well, despite the randomness.

I wish I could take your suggestions, but I find it will be very hard to explain I want to take steroids/ have a sex-change surgery. It was hard enough explaining my sexuality to my mom. Gender Identity can wait until I’m no longer living under their house and rules.

Thank you for all you support, Melissa (despite the fact that you never call; maybe its better that way)
- With love, Miranda

To Danielle,

You have no clue how scared I was when Peter told you I was bisexual, and had a crush on you. (I seemed to have forgotten/didn’t know one of your brothers were gay at the time)

I’m glad you stayed my friend, though admittedly, that’s one of the reasons I wanted to share the bed with you, when we went to Pennsylvania. I apologize for how creepy that seems.

(The other reasons were, I cannot stand Melanie’s chattering, and I didn’t know Jacqui well at the time, etc)

I appreciate your friendship, and you willingness to let me confide in you.
- With love, Miranda

To Ashlyn,

I can remember, back in the time of “spiriters”, how close we were. Today, I am ashamed to know the both of us. I fear both of us, will never be the same but I don’t care anymore. During my sudden plummet back into Reality, I wished all sort of ills against you: AIDS, herpes, ovarian/cervix cancer, pregnancy, breast cancer, sterility, and I have no regrets. I’m sure you feel the same way.

Be glad you were taken out of art before all of this happened, or I would be in jail, and you, probably in intensive care.

I hope your next “significant” other is more then aware of your habits.
- With indifference, Miranda

To Rachel,

Dude, why the fuck didn’t you tell me I wrote Rebecca instead of Rachel in my last journal? I feel like such a dumbshit, and a total asshole for not being able to remember your name.

Next time, let me know!

With hope, this rant has not made you terrified of me (or you weren’t already), Miranda


I think I’ve reached the end of this rant. I apologize to all of my Watchers and Friends who had to suffer through this text wall. (I applaud those who got smart and left early on)

PS I do NOT appreciate being called Emo all the time. Emo is a genre of music, not a person.

Love to those who will remain my friend after reading this; indifference to those who don’t (good idea!).

- Miranda, AKA :devstoned-squirrel:/ Sceadu FerDeu

Run away no where
To chicken shit, two face
I'm gunna go there
The fear I cannot taste
You think you got me (you laugh)
You're gunna tumble down (you laugh)
Keep coming for me (fuck off)
I'll drop you on the ground

I fuck with no one
Until you get into my face

Break you down
Mercy, I cannot allow
Through your face, My fist will plow
Watching as your blood pours down
Lets do this now

You're gunna feel how (alright)
I really am with you (you're right)
You're going no where (must stop)
Don't really know what to do (you're right)
It's going to go on (fuck off)
Until you run away (alright)
You can't control me
You best do it my way (you won)

I fuck with no one
Until you get into my face

Break you down
Mercy, I cannot allow
Through your face, My fist will plow
Watching as your blood pours down
Lets do this now

Don't you know that
You can punch me?
Don't you know that
You can bring me down?
Oh my life would be so easy now
If you haven't stepped across that line
LINE!

Break you down
Mercy, I cannot allow
Through your face, My fist will plow
Watching as your blood pours down
Lets do this now

I'm done being there for others
They have their pain and so do I
Don't need to feel it all over
I try to hold on and you bring me down








"This entire opus is respectfully dedicated to those who have loved unconditionally only to have their hearts unanaesthetically ripped out; base not your joy upon the deeds of others, for what is given can be taken away. No hope = No fear." - Peter Steele (1962 - )

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Thursday, November 1, 2007

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Happy (belated) Halloween!

_{And today's my 14th birthday! *w00t!*}

LOL, my french teacher found out today was my birthday, and he says "So how old are you now, Miranda? 17, 18?". I just stared for a few seconds, at him, like wtfff? "No, I'm 14". "ORLY? You don't look it.... *evileye*"

So, I went trick-or-treating, it kind of sucked. So, next year, I'm gonna work at the Fright Night thing in Old Canterbury. It was totally fucking awesome! Expecially the "electric chair". The guy was so good at the seizures and shit, we thought he was a robot or something. Then my aunt went up to touch him, and he jumped at her. What's even cooler is the power went out(unintentionally, of course. They blew a fuse), so my sister was freaking out. I saw the zombie coming, but Adrianna didn't, and screamed when he walked by.

And then I had to finish my science lab report and article summary for english. I stayed up till like 11 pm working on it. BLEH.

(Yesterday) in school, me and Danielle [:devamoru:] got sooo fucking sugar high from her fried dough, and the crack-fries (they're just regular fries, but everyone thinks they must be laced with crack). So on the way back to Bradlaw, I was jumping around and dancing and shit. I was still hyper in gym, and swearing my head off. See, you don't have to give me alcohol to get me drunk; just pass me some sugar, and cinnamon, and off we go, to Shroooooom Land.

Then me and Rebecca were (kind of randomly) talking about Alice in Wonderland. [Can't remember if that was before or after lunch though]. She said something about Alice being on opium. xD





"This entire opus is respectfully dedicated to those who have loved unconditionally only to have their hearts unanaesthetically ripped out; base not your joy upon the deeds of others, for what is given can be taken away. No hope = No fear." - Peter Steele (1962 - )

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Thursday, October 25, 2007

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* Discuss, Discuss *

*cough* I desire feedback on stuff. Lots of stuff. Let's start with Archetype, as I think you guys are most familiar with them. ;)

1. Vee being the incarnate of Konaki.... Corny? Yes/No & Why/Suggestions.

SquirreL's opinion on it: "Originally, Konaki would have just been plain ol' dead. Buuuuuut, ever since a rift formed between Zoreron & Tashia, he's kind of needed, or else everything falls apart.

And the fact that I've forgotten the original plot of Archetype (it was probably very corny) doesn't help the matter. So, I'm not quite sure what was supposed to happen to Vee or Konaki. I bet my ass, that Vee was kind of an 'indentured' servant to Konaki."

2. Zee and Vee BOTH being incarnates of Sidhidden Gods.... Corny? Yes/No & Why/Suggestions.

SquirreL's opinion on it: " *coughs* It was a hella lot more corny when Ketaric = Tashia, Zee = Zoreron, AND Vee = Konaki. But being that Konaki & Zoreron are bound more thoroughly then Konaki & Tashia, its a sacrifice I'm willing to make.

Why are they bound? Because Zoreron was a greedy fucktard, and decided to Possess Konaki, and use him to begin the End of All Things. Epic fail, obviously, otherwise Archetype wouldn't even be one chapter! So now, Konaki's innocence is contaminated, and tends to have random explosions of... well, Corruption. Many a' men have lost their purity through him (not like that!)."

Alex in Shroom Land:

3. Tom's a whore.... are you scared? Yes/No.

SquirreL's opinion on it: "LOL~ I saw this coming from a mile away. Tom's a whore, and you know its true. *cough* Probably because of his little "tests". And if you don't pass them, it's over. Erik and him probably lasted the longest, because Erik's kind of meek, in a wierd I-don't-want-Tom-to-kick-my-ass way. Alex & Tom don't really get along well, just because neither wants to be the bitch. Russel & Tom were fine, except Rusty didn't like playing Tommah's mind-games.

As for Evan? He's been dressing as a girl ever since the breakup. LOL! Scared shitless for sure!"

4. Based on the few things I've told y'all bout Shroom Land, what do you think its about?

SquirreL's thoughts: "I swear, if any of you think its purely about sex, drugs, and rock'a'roll (which, according, to my health teacher, is peer pressure. LOL~), I'll smack you soooo hard through your com-put-errror screen!

_{And if you're really curious, Note me, if you want to know more about Shroom Land then I've already told you.... "}

The Abstracted Realm:

5. Do you think its too much effort to use all the chromosome shit, just for a simple comic (not that your opinion will really change my mind about it)?

SquirreL's thoughts: "Really, I think I just might end up confusing a bunch of people, and I don't want to have to keep linking them to Wikipedia or my Chromosome notes. And most Deviants are becoming Tl;Dr people. D:

So, do you understand it enough, so it won't impede upon your ability to enjoy the comic itself?"



If you guys spot anymore suspious plotholes, or things you want me to explain let me know, okay?



Jon




"This entire opus is respectfully dedicated to those who have loved unconditionally only to have their hearts unanaesthetically ripped out; base not your joy upon the deeds of others, for what is given can be taken away. No hope = No fear." - Peter Steele (1962 - )

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