Gender •
Female Location • USA Member Since • 2006-06-28 Occupation • Student artist, comic artist Real Name • Mernda (LOL nickname)
Personal
Achievements • Hmm. Dunno. Anime Fan Since • Probably 1998 or something... Favorite Anime • NONERZ Goals • TO FINISH A FRECKING COMIC!! Hobbies • This. That. You. Talents • LOL HAZ NO TALENTZ OF WHICH YOU SPEAKETH
myOtaku.com: Sceadu FerDeu
Welcome to my site archives. 10 posts are listed per page.
Damn, I seriously wish I was depressed or something. Clincially, yes, I am depressed, but I don't feel like I am. I'm still experiencing pain everywhere, but I'm almost immune to at this point.
I'm feel like I want to eat, but I'm not actually hungry. I haven't been eating much lately. Also my dad thinks that the pain in my kidneys is caused by High Fructose Syrup. He says he was amazed at how much that stuff could mess you up. So now I have "read the ingredients". Pfft! Like I'm gonna.
I feel like bitching people out. Especially after my mother forced me to go to some stupid Confirmation thing. She thinks if I go through this thing, I'll become "Christian". No. I hate religion. I will not be ruled by some invisible force. And I have free will, unlike her. She has to cling to god.
I know how to fix my own problems; its obvious my mother never learned how to do that.
Forty Six & Two
"The Shadow is an Unconsious Complex that is defined as the Repressed and Supressed aspects of the Consious Self. There are Constructive and Destructive types of Shadow." - Carl Jung emphasized the importance of being AWARE of Shadow material and incorporating it into Consious Awareness... lest One project these Attribute onto Others. * The Human Being deals with the Reality of the Shadow in four ways: Denial, Projection, Intergration, and/or Transmutation.
"There are 3 totally different types of humans on Earth, meaning that they percieve the One reality in three different ways, interpreted differently...
The first kind of human has a chromosome composition of 42+2. They comprise a unity consiousness that does not see anything outside themselves as being separate from themselves. To them, there is only One Energy -- One Life, One Beingness that moves Everywhere. Anything Happening Anywhere is Within Them, as well. They are like cells in the body. They are all Connected to a Single Consiousness that Moves Through All of Them. These are the Aboriginals in Australia. There might be a few African tribes left like this.
Then, there is our level, comprising of 44+2 Chromosomes. We are a disharmonic level of consiousness that is used as the stepping stone from 42+2 to the next level, 46+2...
These two additional chromosomes change Everything." - Drunvalo Melchizadek
A few notes taken for The Abstracted Realm.
I plan on making TAR as realistic and yet surreal and abstract as possible.
Roto's tribe and very likely his specie as well, will have 42+2 composition.
Whereas for Rixz, I'm thinking 46+2. I'm still considering ideas for making him (and a few others) completely indepedent of their specie. Like a few details I've already confirmed,:
~Rixz's fur will only stay brown for a 1-2 week period, unlike the normal 3-5 week.
~Fur will not grow on his fingertips, like the rest of the Cariou, or on the bottoms of his feet (which would be a bad thing, whereas the furless fingertips could be good, at some points)
~ Rixz (and the select others) will have three sets of ears, unlike the standard two. The last set will be about 5 cm in length, and usually hidden under the hair.
Rixz is actually supposed to seem like the primitive Cariou. I'll get the details straightened out before I really start TAR.
"This entire opus is respectfully dedicated to those who have loved unconditionally only to have their hearts unanaesthetically ripped out; base not your joy upon the deeds of others, for what is given can be taken away. No hope = No fear." - Peter Steele (1962 - )
EDIT: Well, my bloodtest results came back. Perfectly. So he thinks its caused by depression & stress. Just great.
AND I got my tablet back! WOO!
Ok, now lets continue with the Archetype profiles.
EFFING EDIT2: Stupid cat. Ramsey reopened the cut, and now its all infected and shit. He gets a surprise visit to the vet sometime soon.
DE DE DE! ITS CONE-CAT!! *salutes*
Also my mom bought me the Ekto hoodie for my birthday!
Anywho, I feel a need for characters bioz and shit for Archetype. To remind me to HOP TO IT. -.-;
Note: These would be their bios from the beginning of Archetype. Which is why they're fifteen and shit. Ok?
Ver Kai Zare Age Cusp: 4-year-old mentality, prepubescent body (LOL), physical age: 15-ish Specie: Reveckan Sidhe, Vembryr Demhe, Wolf Torei Sexuality: Pansexual. Meaning, if its got legs or a butthole, he's all over it. But he prefers womenz. BIO SHIT: A 15-year-old voyeur, kind of a Sidhe/Demhe mutt (no pun intended). Is one of those "helpless-bullies"; meaning he's all bark and no bite. (MOAR bad puns!) The most he'll do is kick you in the balls, and then run as fast as his fat little legs'll carry him -- which isn't very fast. Doesn't like humans a lot; especially because they're much more vicious when it comes to his weight then his Sidhe relatives are. Betraying Features: When he's horny, his ears stand upright, unlike his usual angry-ears. And he's actually not turned on by everything as much as you'd think. He's also not really a "No Fat Chicks Plz" guy. He probably likes them better then bitchy skinny girls.
Zer Tuu Vare Age Cusp: Whatever-Fucking-Age-Zoreron-Is Mentality, Pubescent body, Physical Age: 15-ish Specie: Reveckan Sidhe, Vembryr Demhe, Wolf Torei Sexuality: We (Vee & I) think he's Asexual. Everyone else thinks he LOVES having chicks grabbing at him all the time. BIO SHIT: The 15-year-old Sidhidden Devil Incarnate. He likes experimenting with his Dark powers; and usually things turn for the worst when he does. He only trusts 2 people; his younger twin, Ver Kai and his half-brother Veran. He doesn't even trust his parents, which is never a good sign. Although he doesn't act as violent as Zoreron, he's still very angry, that his parents have committed treason countless times to save his and Vee's ass. Likes toying with human females' emotions. Fucking playa emo Sidhe. Betraying Features: He tends to start dancing (horribly at that) when he's excited. Or horny. Which is EXTREMELY rare. He also likes messing with his sister's head; how lucky is he that little girls are so easily scared?
Terry -YetToGetAMiddleNameLOL- Age Cusp: 16-years-old Specie: Human, FTW! Sexuality:: Quite possibly bicurious. BIO SHIT: Back when he and Vee were just wee-little boys, they got along fine. But now, they both seem to want to kill each other. And their different beliefs are the main cause of this rift between them. You see, Terry's one of those crazy Neo-Christians -- hates gays, condemns sinners, pro-life, or whatever. And Vee, well Vee doesn't give a SHIT AND A HALF about religion. That and Vee really doesn't like being called a "werewolf". Gheyest title EVAH. (Not that being called "Spoiled Man-Beast" is any better) Betraying Features: Horrible at hiding the fact he's diabetic. Like seriously. "Uh, guys I gotta go. I feel kinda dizzy... and yeah... Bye!" LOL Low blood sugar much? And "I cannot tell a lie!" I'll go get the axe, Vee'll go find you a cherry tree, Terry. e.e
Jonathan -AlsoYetToGetAMiddleNameLMAO- Age Cusp: 16.5-years-old Specie: Emonious Homosapian Sexuality: So straight, you'd think he was gay. ... Or at least bisexual. BIO SHIT: He makes bitching Vee out look like an Olympic Game. He's way TOO good at it, and knows how to get under just about everyone's skin. Especially Terry's. All he's got to do is say "The Green Man" and Terry's blood pressure goes crazy. His parents are freaking awesome, and pretty much let him do whatever -- as long as the cops won't come hunting his emo-Wiccan ass down. Betraying Features: Its just as easy for anyone else to get under his skin, as it is for him to pester Terry. And if you insult his favorite bands, he'll go batshit insane!
Silas "Sai" Age Cusp: 19-years-old Specie: Human Sexuality:: Its a mystery, plz. BIO SHIT: Its an engima as to why Terry is even friends with this guy. He's athesist, loves gays (LOL possibly like THAT), pro-choice, and overall, extremely vague and annoying. The only interests between them, are guitars. Sai's the fucktard that convinced Terry to start a band; don't tell Vee or he'll kill him. And he's the one that came up with the lame ass name for it. Don't worry though, Vee'll eventually go into perfectionist mode and force Terry to change it (or I WILL. *threatens*) Sai's the kind of guy, you want to stay out of your business, and fournately, he does, for the most part. Betraying Features: ???
I'm only doing these four. Its too exhausting to do ALL of them.
"This entire opus is respectfully dedicated to those who have loved unconditionally only to have their hearts unanaesthetically ripped out; base not your joy upon the deeds of others, for what is given can be taken away. No hope = No fear." - Peter Steele (1962 - )
Ahemm... well, I got urine cultures (checking for kidney disease) and blood taken (checking for Lyme or some other musuclar disease). I should know what the hell is wrong with me by Friday.
My kidneys and stomach weren't sore, so the doctor says its unlikely its kidney disease; it could just be a bladder infection or something minor.
He also said something about constipation, and that was why there was a little blood in my.... err.. stool. It happened only once, so he's says its not a big deal.
My arm is killing me right now. The lady couldn't find the vein the first time, and was wiggling it around. It might've helped if she had used the tourniquet. The second try, I was getting peeved, but at least she actually found a vein. I watched the blood go into the tube, with a mix of digust and rapture.
Which is wierd, because usually if I see a needle (or any other sharp medical tool) I freak. Well, I did freak, but not while it was in my skin.
ART UPDATES
I'm planning on doing Vee in his true appearance next, instead of the human version I posted. I'm also going to redo human Zee because it looks like crap.
Oh, and I might have some Ratori drawings for you guys in the next days. (I'm sure :devpinkienekogirl: will be overjoyed. :D)
MISC UPDATES
Zee's name is bothering me again. Go vote please?
"This entire opus is respectfully dedicated to those who have loved unconditionally only to have their hearts unanaesthetically ripped out; base not your joy upon the deeds of others, for what is given can be taken away. No hope = No fear." - Peter Steele (1962 - )
Yeah, my kidneys have been hurting (along with my sides), so my mother's going to take me to the clinic. I'm hoping its all in my head or something, because the thought of dylisis for the rest of my life is NOT fun to think about.
If something is wrong with them, at least I know my pepere's got four kidneys. I think he still does. Hmmm..
"This entire opus is respectfully dedicated to those who have loved unconditionally only to have their hearts unanaesthetically ripped out; base not your joy upon the deeds of others, for what is given can be taken away. No hope = No fear." - Peter Steele (1962 - )
WARNING: This entire post contains no more maturity then there is in Vee's pinky finger. ALSO, CAPS LOCK. CRUISE CONTROL BETCHES. lol
*too lazy to use Coding today*
Anywho, I've been tagged like five times... ok, twice, if you want to get specific.
SOOOOOOOO here we go:
Rules:
1. Post these rules.
2. Each tagged deviant must post 8 things about themselves.
3. The tagged deviant must do a journal with those 8 things
4. At the bottom of the post, 8 other deviants must be tagged.
5. Go to their pages and tell them they've been tagged(beware!)
1. Last weekend, I entertained myself by making Sai gay, Vee his bitch, Rixz's hobby crossdressing, Terry a Torei, Jon a SUPAH Wiccan (he was a run-of-the-mill Wiccan before, babes), and Zee, homophobic. Course the only things that are ACTUAL changes is the Wiccan thing and the Crossdressing thing.... I doubt Rixz will find clothes that fit tho.
2. This week I made Tom an ANDROID. LOL (NOT AN ACTUAL CHANGE). And Gregor runs for mayor, in 2030! ZHOMFGZZZZZZZZ!
3. Squidgets melt in salt-water, ONLY because I have an intense hatred of the beach. INTENSE. :evileye: And it totally makes sense. ADMIT IT.
4. Favorite word is FUUUUUCK. Favorite FUUUUUCK quote, " I FUCK, THEREFORE I AM" (LOL that's Vee all over).
5. Most Mo'd character: Ratooooooooooori! Then its Zeeeeer Tuuuuuuuuuu!
6. Most Pervilious character: Veeeeeeeeeeer Kaaaaaaaaaaaaaai. No doubt bout it.
7. Most fagilious character: Toooooooooom. And he uses that word on a regular basis. xD
8. My friends let me write random crap on their arms. LOL IMMA TATTOO ARTIST, MOMMA, AINT YOU PROUD?!
9. Does not understand what Yiff is. (Yiff = SYNTAX ERROR DIVIDE BY ZERO PLZ)
I did 9, because I can.
TAGG'd:
Anyone.
And the other tag is Feature thing.
"I will feature the first 10 who reply to this journal
I will pick my three favourite´s from your gallery and show them in this journal...
In return you have to do "The 10 feature" in your next journal as well.. and count me in as one of the 10 featured...
In this way you can share your and others art in a friendly way ^^ and maybe get some new friends." *copypastecopypaste*
"This entire opus is respectfully dedicated to those who have loved unconditionally only to have their hearts unanaesthetically ripped out; base not your joy upon the deeds of others, for what is given can be taken away. No hope = No fear." - Peter Steele (1962 - )
Sorry, guys, but I'm not really up to giving out comments on submissions at the moment. I'm starting to catch whatever my mother has, AND my mother now knows I'm bi. She's not happy.
She spent 20 minutes yelling at me; I can't remember everything she said but the most hurtful things were:
"WHAT ARE THEY TEACHING YOU AT GSA?! To be gay?" What the fuuuuuuuuuuuck?! Are you retarded?"
"Are you only going to GSA because you're this?" Seriously. What. The. Fuck.
"You know, Ashlyn's probably had sex"- FALSE. "Done drugs"- FALSE. "And had alcohol"-
POSSIBLY. I can't remember if that was Danielle or Ashy. I just know someone got their Mountain Dew spiked. HONESTLY. I think she's describing Kelsi not Ashlyn. When Ash goes to a friends house, she HAS to be home before 6 pm. :no:
"I'm just shocked..." YOU THINK YOU'RE SHOCKED?! How do you think I FELT!?
So now, my mom hates me. And it's not even my fault; directly or indirectly.
"This entire opus is respectfully dedicated to those who have loved unconditionally only to have their hearts unanaesthetically ripped out; base not your joy upon the deeds of others, for what is given can be taken away. No hope = No fear." - Peter Steele (1962 - )
I've decided to start from Zee's (extended version) dream sequence. I've only started on the first panel... I spent two hours just on the lineart. Zoreron's anatomy was giving me a hard time, even though it's likely that it was correct before I starting trying to "fix" it.
OBSERVATIONS
I've never really noticed until now, that most authors, artists and the like, have stories that occur in the same universe. For example, in EVERY ONE of Neal Shusterman's books (except for Full Tilt and the Dark Fusion series), has the character "Raphly Sherman" mentioned several times. And he's written a lot of books.
But me, I'm different. Alex in Shroom Land, Reveck/Archetype, and The Abstracted Realm all occur in different timelines and universes.
And I somehow manage to juggle all of them, without forgetting anything. Or at least the important stuff. But if I remember important stuff I usually remember the minor things that led up to it.
Another thing I've noticed, is, why the hell are most of my characters in abusive relationships?!?! When the frick did this happen?
E.G
Tom: Gets annoyed, punches Alex in the head
Alex: Gets pissed, punts Tom in the nuts
Tom: Runs off, cries in a corner, yada yada
Alex: Runs after him, makes the "boo-boo" go byebye. (Don't think about that one too hard)
Ok, maybe not word for word.
And then of course I've got the quite imfamous threesome, Sceadu, Kutteraine, and Hirotame.
Hiro's a emo drunk (not an angry drunk), so no worries there.
Kutteraine's gotten WAAAY too docile, and loves spoiling Sceadu rotten. That's how he got chicks in bed, when he was younger. That is when power wasn't enough.
Sceadu tho is TOTAAALLY schizo. Not Tom schizo; she makes him seem sane. She's "If-You-Mess-Up-That-Bed-I-Painstakingly-Made-Because-Baby-Vee's-Not-Old-Enough-To-Make-It-Himself-I'll-KIIIIIIIIIIIIILLL-YOU!!!!!!". And yes, Vee is her favorite.
I don't understand why tho. I think after she had Ketaric, post-partum depression must've REAAAAAALLY drove her off the edge.
YAHOO MUSIC VIDEO PLAYER
MY DAD FINALLY FIXED!!!!!!! YAY! I don't really have a clue what was wrong tho. :D But who cares?!
"This entire opus is respectfully dedicated to those who have loved unconditionally only to have their hearts unanaesthetically ripped out; base not your joy upon the deeds of others, for what is given can be taken away. No hope = No fear." - Peter Steele (1962 - )
I've started writing The Abstracted Realm... I've got all of two paragraphs and I already want critique. *low self confidence*
So here we go:
" Chapter 1: Exile
Standing all-alone, exiled; feared, even. It’s the worst feeling. I’m terrified of what may happen next. But they don’t see fear in my eyes. They see a monster, hate. At first they blamed my mother, unable to produce male or female. Then I was conceived. And from birth, my father hated me. It wasn’t my fault; it wasn’t my mother’s. But he refused to believe this.
You see I believe I may be a hermaphrodite. On the outside, I’m completely female. Except for my antennae. They’re shaped like that of a male of my specie. But that is the only visible part of me that appears to be male. I am not flat chested. My face is not masculine. I have a menstrual cycle. "
My biggest peeve about it is : "Except for my antennae. They’re shaped like that of a male of my specie." Focus critiques on this too.
I could not think of anything to replace that part. Damn.
~ TODAY PAGE ~:
Have any of you read it today? No? Then I suggest these forums; I LOL'd so hard, my sister now thinks I'm laughing at the voices or something. :B
"This entire opus is respectfully dedicated to those who have loved unconditionally only to have their hearts unanaesthetically ripped out; base not your joy upon the deeds of others, for what is given can be taken away. No hope = No fear." - Peter Steele (1962 - )
I seriously am considering dropping out of the DRR contest... I've too many other things to worry about. Danielle's gonna kill me for it tho'. DD:
I should be getting to work on T.A.R. now. Before I forget the whole first few pages.
"This entire opus is respectfully dedicated to those who have loved unconditionally only to have their hearts unanaesthetically ripped out; base not your joy upon the deeds of others, for what is given can be taken away. No hope = No fear." - Peter Steele (1962 - )
--Dracula--
[x] Blood intrigues you.
[x] You prefer night over day.
[x] Bats and wolves are your friends.
[x] You wish you could fly.
[ ] You despise mirrors.
[x] Coffins don't bother you in the least.
[x] Living forever sounds like a great idea.
[x] You can hang upside down for long periods of time.
[ ] Garlic is your kryptonite.
[x] You sleep all day. (I'd like to do so everyday... curse you, highschool!)
Total: 7.
--Frankenstein--
[ ] You owe a lot to your creator.
[x] Fire is scary!
[x] You are unpredictable.
[ ] You are very tall.
[ ] Little kids are more fond of you than adults.
[x] Most people don't understand you.
[ ] Your speech leaves a lot to be desired.
[ ] You often look a little green.
[ ] Fashion means nothing to you; it's like you wear the same thing everyday.
[x] You wish you had more friends.
Total: 4.
--Werewolf--
[ ] You're quite furry.
[x] The full moon drives you wild.
[ ] You often wake up in strange places with no memory of the night before.
[x] Silver repulses you.
[x] Dogs hate you.
[x] You love raw meat.
[ ] You are pretty strong.
[x] Pentagrams fascinate you.
[x]You feel kind of cursed.
[ ]Some of your clothes are shredded and bloodstained and you have no idea how they got that way.
Total: 6. (:w00t:)
--Zombie--
[ ] Your skin looks gray.
[ ] You rarely speak, but you do groan a lot.
[ ] Brains should be one of the food groups.
[ ] Your clothes are ratty and tattered.
[x] You're alive, but you feel dead.
[x] Being near fire makes you uncomfortable.
[x] Guns scare you.
[] You're not very smart.
[ ] you have an insatiable desire to feed.
[ ] You lost your personality a long time ago.
Total: 3.
--Ghost--
[x] You have some unfinished business to attend to.
[ ] You hang out in cemeteries.
[x] You enjoy playing pranks.
[x] Sometimes people act as if you aren't even there.
[x] You want revenge.
[x] Death surrounds you.
[x] You feel lost.
[x] You always have a chill.
[x] You like fog.
[x] You have strange dreams about dying.
Total: 9.
xD Ghost-Vimp-Lycan! TOTALLY PIMPIN'.
"This entire opus is respectfully dedicated to those who have loved unconditionally only to have their hearts unanaesthetically ripped out; base not your joy upon the deeds of others, for what is given can be taken away. No hope = No fear." - Peter Steele (1962 - )
Another Useless Journal? (I think So!) 
