~ THE ABSTRACTED REALM ~
I've started writing The Abstracted Realm... I've got all of two
paragraphs and I already want critique. *low self confidence*
So here we go:
" Chapter 1: Exile
Standing all-alone, exiled; feared, even. It’s the worst feeling. I’m terrified of what may happen next. But they don’t see fear in my eyes. They see a monster, hate. At first they blamed my mother, unable to produce male or female. Then I was conceived. And from birth, my father hated me. It wasn’t my fault; it wasn’t my mother’s. But he refused to believe this.
You see I believe I may be a hermaphrodite. On the outside, I’m completely female. Except for my antennae. They’re shaped like that of a male of my specie. But that is the only visible part of me that appears to be male. I am not flat chested. My face is not masculine. I have a menstrual cycle. "
My biggest peeve about it is : "Except for my antennae. They’re shaped like that of a male of my specie." Focus critiques on this too.
I could not think of anything to replace that part. Damn.
~ TODAY PAGE ~:
Have any of you read it today? No? Then I suggest these forums; I LOL'd so hard, my sister now thinks I'm laughing at the voices or something. :B
Say No To METAL Elitism!
Is DeviantARt, An Art Site or A Popularity Contest?
Sex Me Up.
STOP BEIN SO MEAN AND ATING ON GOOD ARTISTS
Banned For Age
Go have some LULZ. :D
"This entire opus is respectfully dedicated to those who have loved unconditionally only to have their hearts unanaesthetically ripped out; base not your joy upon the deeds of others, for what is given can be taken away. No hope = No fear." - Peter Steele (1962 - )
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