Thursday, June 9, 2005

Caught in the Middle
((MOOD)) too pissed and upset for emotocons

((MUSIC)) Can't Not- Alanis Morissette

My parents are in the middle of a divorce and even though i am moved out and married and all that, somehow i'm pulled in the middle,used to get back at eachother. Though i admit it is mostly my dad's fault. He used my words that he weasled out of me to get back at my mom, to start more trouble and more problems. Threatening to get a lawyer, when the divorce is almost final. They are both playing similair games but there is one difference....my father is being utterly deceitful....lying, not only to mom...but to me....trying to make me think he is completly helpful and inocent, when i know d*** well he has a violent temper and wasn't there for the majority of my life. My mother is at least being honest with me and telling me everything that happens so that i know, but also because she is worried about what dad might do. At this point i wouldn't put anything past him.

My mom has a boyfriend, but that is okay because the divorce is almost final and though my dad denies it, is sure to have a girlfriend himself; How do i know? When i was over there a few days ago, painting a shelf that i'm taking...i went inside to rest and to let paint dry before i turned it over to do the other side. Dad got a call on his cell when he went to the bathroom, i leant over to see who called so i could tell him. What was suspicious is that is was a girl...it said 'Laura Mob' mostlikely short for Laura mobile. Dad doesn't have friends that are women besides a family friend named Heidi..part of a couple that my parents hung out with. He then called the woman who seemed to have a ppologized, cause dad said he was sittin there with me and then said, 'it's okay, i'll go outside, what do you wanna talk about?' Does that not sound like he has a girlfriend? Besides the fact that my dad would be gone for ten hours..and at a bar no less, at least as he claimed, we know he'd gone..i'd seen his car at the bar. All this began when i was still living with them......I'm damn sure he was cheating. Deceitful....i can't stand it. Infidelity is disgusting and horrible. However as this evidince provides, my father has no right to accuse my mother of thins that he himself is doing and poorly hiding.

Mom at least let my meet her boyfriend, why won't dad let me meet this girl? Why isn't he honest with me? He's never been honest with me...always lying...I appriciate that he pays more attention to me now and actually calls to check up on me when i'm sick and all. I really do like that he's doing that now, when he never used to be there for me. I'm all he has now.....i understand that...so why lie to me...has he become that compulsive a liar? Has he become that wrapped up in these games that he can't see past his nose now?

I know he is simply trying to make mom out to be the bad person. It pisses me off royally that he'd do this, then again he's been pulling crap like this for years.

I really wish they would stop this, actually wish my dad would just grow up and realize how stupid and childish he is being, throwing violent tantrums and pointing fingers........i want to tell him he'd better stop or i will disown him, i know deep down that is wrong and completly mean...even if i do mean it.
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