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myO Still <3's You
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Thursday, May 5, 2005
I'm so sorry everyone. And this even goes out to people who aren't on myotaku although they will probably never read this
I feel like I've done something horrible and I'm not sure if I should try and fix it or not. I thought this is what I wanted, but maybe it's not. I didn't take a friends advice and said something I couldn't take back. And now I'm paying the price. I won't delete my account. I think I'm just going through a deep depression and I seriously need some major time to myself, and if I really want to, work out alot of things. I feel so horrible. I'll stop in from time to time. Visit a few sites. Mainly, just good friends that I made on myO. But, anyway I'll be seeing you guys. Have a great time without me.
Thanx for reading
Sephistrife15
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Wednesday, May 4, 2005
*Sigh*
You know, all things considered, including this whole thing with Jatna, I have to admit, this has been an OK week. (Gi-nourmous emphasis on ok.) I mean, and don't worry, this post isn't just about Jatna, but I mean, I talked to Jatna and everything, and she SORT OF (GI-NOURMOUS emphasis of sort of) explained why she did what she did, and she said she was sorry and that she felt like a real bitch and everything (which I MUST say, she BETTER), but even though I didn't let her know it, she actually made me feel a LITTLE better, because now at least I know she still cares about me, although CLEARLY not as much as I do HER.
Anyway, this week has been a GREAT week for me otherwise. Our school has this internship program, where on Wednesdays and Fridays we leave school at noon, and go to these jobs that the school sets up for us at various places. It's basically so you can just get good job experience and maybe even help you figure out what you want to do. And we have to get 180 hours per school year.
Well, despite the fact that I LOVE my internship (no really, i do), I am DONE with my hours and DONE with my internship. Today was my last day. I am so HAPPY!!!! FINALLY, I am done with INTERNSHIP! I'm done EARLY too! So happy!
Also, this week is a great food week as well. First our Spanish teacher took us on a field trip to a Spanish grocery store (it's where he shops. Like two city blocks away from his house. Literally.) And he said that after we were basically done doing whatever there, if we had any money, we could buy what we wanted. Me? I bought 3 packs of Reeses Cups and a 20 oz. bottle of Coke. Boy was I happy! Omg was I happy! My oh my oh my! Reeses Cups are better than Nirvana! Seriously! (Nirvana is the hindu equivalant of heaven for those who don't know.)
Then, later that day, our English teacher made italian chocolate balls for us, because we're watching an italian movie. (We're studying foreign films this semester.) Boy were they good as well! I didn't appreciate them that much, because we were only allowed to have one, and this happened right after this whole thing with Jatna started, but they were ok.
Then today! I told you today was my last day of internship, right? Well, my internship had a going away feast for me! It was really just pizza coke and sprite, but it was still delicious!
And finally, tomorrow my Spanish class is celebrating Cinco de Mayo, so were gonna have chips and salsa and quesadillas and everything! It's gonna be so great! And later that day, we're supposed to have ice cream!
So coming back to my original point, even with all this crap with Jatna going on, my week has balanced itself out. I'm still going to be sad about Jatna, but I'll get over her. We weren't going out that long anyway.
Oh, yeah! I forgot! Xbox players: if you haven't discovered this already, massacring covenant in Halo 2 and screaming, yelling and laughing at the top of your lungs with loud angry rock music playing relieves ALOT OF STRESS. The only downsides are: your throat will hurt from between 15-30 minutes, and if there are any other people in the household with you when you do that, you may look and sound crazy.
Peace ya'll!
Thanx for reading
Sephistrife15
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Tuesday, May 3, 2005
Look at the Background. It depicts my emotions perfectly.
I am so mad at Jatna. Every time I look at her or even think about her, I get so mad and I clam up, and just space out for like forever. However, I can't help but like here at the same time. It frustrates me to so much.
Jatna comes to me in the morning and says she needs to talk to me. So we talked at lunch and here is what she said: "Okay, this guy called-- I'm known him since I was, like, five-- This guy called me and he was really sweet to me and he said he sent me a card and everything--"
"--and you rather go out with him than with me."
"Yes."
I must have just stood there for a whole moment, not knowing how to feel. Should I feel like shit? Should I feel angry? Should I feel hurt? Should I tell her off?
"*sigh*"
I look away.
In sort of a low voice: "Fine, whatever Jatna. You go with whoever you want. Have fun."
I pat her on the shoulder and walk away. I skip lunch that day. I sort of go off into a corner, and then one of my best friends T.K. comes up and asks me whats wrong. And I tell her, and we talk for about a minute, and then she confesses that really Jatna told T.K. what happened and was hoping T.K. could talk to me for her. In other words: Jatna didn't care enough to talk to me about it. Was just happy that I let her go with this boy, even though she didn't really need my permission in the first place.
She doesn't even say she's sorry. Doesn't even try to look me in the eye for the rest of the day. PROBABLY doesn't even think about me. But, you know what really gets me? We haven't even been going out together that long, and it hurts this much.
Oh! And way back when, we agreed that no matter WHAT happened, we wouldn't let it affect our friendship. BULL TO THE SHIT! If she trys to call me or talk to me about this (in private of course), the only thing I'm going to do is make her feel just as bad as I do, if not worse, and if, like, a week from now, she comes back and says that it didn't work out with this guy, I'm going ot lead her on, and make her think that I'll get back together with her and then at the very end, I'll finish it off with a quick, "It's ur decision, we're done..." type of thing.
To think that I thought she really liked me. What a fool I was. I would always tell her that I cared about her, and how much I liked her, and why I liked her, and she would offer some of that in return, and then she just screws me over by going with some boy, that I don't even know. I just can't believe that I was so blind.
So naive. This just proves my theory that naivetey is a weakness. (I hope I spelled "naivetey" right.) And now (literally "now", I just now thought of this), I wonder if she just felt like I didn't like her that much, or that I was lying, or that it was going to end in disaster anyway, so she might as well get it over with now.
...Who am I kidding! This is Jatna we're talking about. The girl who really only cares about herself, the girl who openly admitted to me over the phone that I'm one of the few serious boyfriends she's had and that all of her others, were basically just sex buddies. She makes me so angry.
I hope Jatna calls so I can tell her off and make her feel like shit, and I hope she DOESN'T call because I don't even want to here her voice right now. I swear to you, if we lived in the 1700s, I would have Jatna burn at the stake for this. No one hurts me like this, and gets off scott free.
Thanx for reading
Sephistrife15
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Sunday, May 1, 2005
Where is everybody?
No one has come to my site in, like, 3 days. I made added the somethinged round of the battle watchamazoo, and I thought this round would be popular. Vincent versus Red. How do you LOSE visits on that one? That just baffles me.
I am so bored out of my mind. You have no idea. And my grandpa's here! Why is he here? He moved!
You're not supposed to move and then come back! He's spending the night, too!! Jesus Christ... I am having such a horrible Sunday. Video games are boring, I'm not doing anything special today, bored out of my mind, nothing to do, my grandpa's here...
The list goes on and on. I'm bored. Cya!
Thanx for reading
Sephistrife15
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Friday, April 29, 2005
FINALLY... Jesus Christ
FINALLY! Jatna and I have FINALLY resolved this crap. (We actually resolved it a week ago, but that's ok. Anyway, I'm so happy ^_^! Everythings all better now... and we talked alot... and she wants to take me SHOPPING. I was like "What?! I don't shop." But either way, I'm so happy. Things are all better, and she's sweeter than ever. *sigh*
Anyway, Semi-finals: Round 4
This time it's Red versus Vincent. The red beast, versus the cold, silent gun-slinger. Will the young guardian show Vincent his true strength, or will Vincent show Red what it's REALLY like to be a monster. That's for you to decide. Vote away!
Thanx for reading
Sephistrife15
Comments (3) | Permalink
Thursday, April 28, 2005
Semi Finals: Round 3
Tifa got knocked out! Sucks for you lady! Anyway, the next match is between Yuffie and Vincent. (Not a very fair match if you ask me...) Anyway, it's the bratty young teenage ninja, versus the cold-hearted gun-slinger THIS round.
Will, Yuffie teach Vincent a thing or two about stealth, or will Vincent show Yuffie his dark side? You decide. Vote away!
Thanx for reading
Sephistrife15
Comments (8) | Permalink
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
Semi-Finals: Round Two
Wow. Seven to one. Sorry Rude, but you got beaten... BADLY. Anyway, so Cloud's the winner of that one. So, I believe the next match is between Tifa and Red XIII. Tifa, the busty bartender, with a good left hook, and Red XIII the wiley wastrel of Cosmo Canyon.
Will, Tifa show Red it's not all bad to be a a bi-ped, or will Red XIII show Tifa how he hunts down his prey in the wild. It's all up to you folks! Cast your vote and decide thier fate!
Thanx for reading
Sephistrife15
Comments (6) | Permalink
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
Semi-finals
Wow. Vincent had NO opposition. Surprising. I thought there would be SOMEONE who would have voted for Elena. Anyway, now it's time for the semi-finals!
It's Cloud versus... Rude? I think it's Rude. Anyway, Cloud versus Rude. Who will win? The man with the excruciatingly long sword (we all know that only CLOUD could lift a sword that big) or Rude, the strong, silent Turk wielding only a pistol.
I myself vote for Cloud, but that's just me. Vote away! Choose their fate.
Thanx for reading
Sephistrife15
Comments (6) | Permalink
Monday, April 25, 2005
Pages (15): [ First ][ Previous ] 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 [ Next ] [ Last ]Round Seven
Well, the votes are in, and it looks like Yuffie is the winner! Yay for Yuffie! The next match is between Vincent and Elena! They were both Turks at one point so it seems like an even match.
Vincent, the cold-hearted, ex-turk who wields a customized shotgun as his ultimate weapon, versus Elena, the new and nervous Turk wielding only a pistol. You decide who wins this one. Vote away!
Thanx for reading
Sephistrife15
Comments (5) | Permalink