I am so mad at Jatna. Every time I look at her or even think about her, I get so mad and I clam up, and just space out for like forever. However, I can't help but like here at the same time. It frustrates me to so much.
Jatna comes to me in the morning and says she needs to talk to me. So we talked at lunch and here is what she said: "Okay, this guy called-- I'm known him since I was, like, five-- This guy called me and he was really sweet to me and he said he sent me a card and everything--"
"--and you rather go out with him than with me."
"Yes."
I must have just stood there for a whole moment, not knowing how to feel. Should I feel like shit? Should I feel angry? Should I feel hurt? Should I tell her off?
"*sigh*"
I look away.
In sort of a low voice: "Fine, whatever Jatna. You go with whoever you want. Have fun."
I pat her on the shoulder and walk away. I skip lunch that day. I sort of go off into a corner, and then one of my best friends T.K. comes up and asks me whats wrong. And I tell her, and we talk for about a minute, and then she confesses that really Jatna told T.K. what happened and was hoping T.K. could talk to me for her. In other words: Jatna didn't care enough to talk to me about it. Was just happy that I let her go with this boy, even though she didn't really need my permission in the first place.
She doesn't even say she's sorry. Doesn't even try to look me in the eye for the rest of the day. PROBABLY doesn't even think about me. But, you know what really gets me? We haven't even been going out together that long, and it hurts this much.
Oh! And way back when, we agreed that no matter WHAT happened, we wouldn't let it affect our friendship. BULL TO THE SHIT! If she trys to call me or talk to me about this (in private of course), the only thing I'm going to do is make her feel just as bad as I do, if not worse, and if, like, a week from now, she comes back and says that it didn't work out with this guy, I'm going ot lead her on, and make her think that I'll get back together with her and then at the very end, I'll finish it off with a quick, "It's ur decision, we're done..." type of thing.
To think that I thought she really liked me. What a fool I was. I would always tell her that I cared about her, and how much I liked her, and why I liked her, and she would offer some of that in return, and then she just screws me over by going with some boy, that I don't even know. I just can't believe that I was so blind.
So naive. This just proves my theory that naivetey is a weakness. (I hope I spelled "naivetey" right.) And now (literally "now", I just now thought of this), I wonder if she just felt like I didn't like her that much, or that I was lying, or that it was going to end in disaster anyway, so she might as well get it over with now.
...Who am I kidding! This is Jatna we're talking about. The girl who really only cares about herself, the girl who openly admitted to me over the phone that I'm one of the few serious boyfriends she's had and that all of her others, were basically just sex buddies. She makes me so angry.
I hope Jatna calls so I can tell her off and make her feel like shit, and I hope she DOESN'T call because I don't even want to here her voice right now. I swear to you, if we lived in the 1700s, I would have Jatna burn at the stake for this. No one hurts me like this, and gets off scott free.
Thanx for reading
Sephistrife15
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