Saturday, March 1, 2008

Oh how I'd love to say this to you, but you'd turn it into another war, wouldn't you?
Jesus fucking Christ, GET OVER YOURSELF. The world does not revolve around you. NO ONE CARES.

I get it. You have mommy abandonment issues. But that doesn't entitle you to be a shallow, greedy, two-faced bitch to anyone and everyone you come across.

I can't believe that anyone is friends with you anymore. Maybe they're all like me: smiling at you when you face them, but flipping you off the second you turn your back. And I can't even say that you don't deserve it, anymore.

You're awful to your "friends" -- in fact, I still remember how you went from having the "only person who understood me" to wishing she would die and how you'd never talk to her again, then back to "the only person who understands meeeee" in the space of a month. Do your "friends" know how you call them bitches behind their backs, and then demand things from them two days later like you're best buds? Do they know how you write that they're ungrateful and immature after you go out with them? I'd love to provide evidence, but I'm afraid that I wouldn't be able to stomach sorting through the crap you spew out.

Well, how could they not know? You were always a pro at that in high school. I can't even count on all my fingers and toes how many times I'd sit at silence at that table because you had turned the group against one another yet again. I thought you'd finally grow up after graduating. Looks like I was wrong.

You say you can't wait to leave? Fine, all of us can't wait until you're gone. Please don't bother trying to keep in touch -- I'll be glad to be done with all of the griping about how you were abandoned (be glad she left you with your grandmother instead of at a bus stop. You're at least staying with people who are related to you.), and how your 'mom' treats you so bad (OMG she made you get your lazy ass out of bed and go outside because it's, I dunno, healthy for you! CALL CHILD SERVICES WAAAAAAHH!!!!111), and how all your friends are backstabbing bitches (well maybe if you'd get your head out of your ass and GROW UP you'd find better friends. Do you really think those people you want to stay with are going to be any better? Knowing your tastes, they're going to be as bad as the ones here, and then where will you be?), and how no one understands how hard your life is (if you'd quit creating drama and quit wallowing in self-pity then your life would be a lot easier.) -- I'm tired of it all.

You can hide behind your smiles and kind words, but I know the real you, and it makes me sick. I'm appalled that I ever called you a friend.

--Sere
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Sunday, January 13, 2008

Nothing to report.
Those pesky intergalactic policemanz caught up to me, and when I tried to negotiate, I'm pretty sure I insulted their mothers, so I kicked them in the shins and am currently hiding in my closet. They'll never look there.

But all silliness aside, there really is nothing going on. Not doing anything much except work (so boring that I end up bring a book or Gigo (my DS Lite) to work with me). Had boy problems there for a bit, but it's all worked out (sort of. Who knows where this is going to go). Have friend problems, but we're working on it (also sort of. 'Friend' can also be a relative term in one situation).

All-in-all, the news is the same: I hate work, I hate the world, and the next customer who makes me call any sort of customer service is getting punched in the face. Does work make me want to go back to college? No, but it does make me want to be a hermit for the rest of my life. Go live up in the hills with 500 cats.

. . . hormones make me a drama queen.

. . . life makes me a drama queen.

But isn't it more fun that way?

--Sere

In a random note that doesn't fit at all in with this post, I'm almost fully classified as a geek because I've passed level 60 in World of Warcraft. I will reach full geekdom when I hit level 70. One good thing about only working 25 hours a week -- you actually get time to play WoW, instead of just staring longingly at the icon on your desktop.
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Thursday, October 4, 2007

I love you, you silly fool.

Why can't you see me?
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Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Impulse posting is bad for your mental health.
Um, am I really 5 views away from 100? Last time I had checked, I was still like, the most losery loser of loserville because I had like, no views. Did me changing my intro to say this was my 'bitch about people' journal change things?

Hahaha, I find this so amusing. I totally know that's it's probably something like I've always had more views than I remember and I'm just being retarded, but it's early (. . . late? It's totally 1:30 AM, either way.) and I'm tired and stressed out and not looking forward to work tomorrow (today) at ALL, and therefore need to find weird things amusing so I don't go . . . I dunno, drown babies or something.

Don't really have any friends to bitch about, sorry. Well, okay, I do, but I don't feel frustrated enough with any of them to complain. I've just been having enough of a combination of good things to deal with and bad things to deal with that it's all just jumbled into a feeling of "Oh well." Or maybe it's self-preservation, because I've been dealing with crazy co-workers and crazy customers and friends with relationship problems and I'm totally on my way to ruining a great friendship and AUGH. I hate complaining like this, but I think right now, a little venting is healthy.

Although whenever I talk with Danielle, it seems the only thing we do is vent together. And just licking each other's wounds isn't helping anything, but I think it's that we're in the same boat (just on different lakes, if that makes any sense, which I'm fairly certain it doesn't and therefore I am major fail) and she and I both have no one else to talk to except each other, so while we may talk normally to everyone else, we just unload our problems onto each other because the other person understands.

And as much as I feel bad complaining to her all the time, I sort of enjoy it. I mean, having her trust me with stuff she's never told anyone else, and then telling her stuff I'd never tell anyone else makes me feel . . . needed. Wanted. Like I finally have someone who doesn't want to go without me. I was never really that close to Danielle in school (because I was always playing babysitter/therapist to the crazier of my friends), so being close to her now is a pleasant change. Being close like that to anyone is at least mildly pleasant, as long as they aren't batshit insane.

But enough crazy topic turns. I've got work at 10 in the morning and need as much sleep as possible. More impulse posting later, possibly. Even though I hate impulse posting because I generally say stupid things. Like, you know, most of this post.

--Sere
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Friday, September 1, 2006

I'm not dead, I swear. . . . okay, I may be, but it doesn't matter because no one reads this anyway, hahahahaha!

. . .
. . .
I feel like a loser.

--Sere
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Wednesday, July 19, 2006

I will list two reason for posting: work, and school. And that is all. Having school from 8AM-1PM and then work from 3:30PM-10PM was killing me. I slept probably 15 hours last Friday. And I know some would probably laugh and tell me that I'm working sissy hours and if I'm stressed out and tired from that, then maybe I should quit my job and work as a hobo, but you have to realise that the last time I was able to get a job was last summer because Mum and Dad wouldn't let me work during school and, even then, the job was for two weeks.

So yes, working that schedule was stressful and will continue to be stressful, and mainly because I am a mentally disturbed individual not on medication, and I am a Type A personality: tense, edgy, stressed-out almost 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. When I'm trying to work a job that I've just started and can't remember what prices are or where the price buttons are, all while trying to be nice to customers and do math in my head-which I'm horrible at-I get stressed out. And have I mentioned I'm no longer taking the medication that makes me not freak out randomly?

Yes, fun times. Fun times indeed. Ergo, if you feel like bitching about how you work longer at a more stressful job (although I think QuikTrip, a convience store is very stressful), then feel free to do it, just at your cat, or neighbour. Not to me. Because, frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn. And I will continue not to give a damn until not giving a damn is not an available option. Kthnxbai.

Things have been going fine other than that. Saw PotC with a friend on Saturday, and was pleasantly surprised. I had heard some less-than-wonderful reviews from people that had seen it, and I had been going to the movie ready to be disappointed. But nope, I really enjoyed it. Eagerly awaiting the third-and hopefully last, for very few movies are good after the third-movie.

School ends next Thursday, Wednesday if I don't have to take the final. And then, enrolling in college. Which, I'll admit, I'm looking forward to and dreading at the same time. Because if I'm stressed out going to a school where I already know all the information and have very little homework while working, what is it going to be like going to a school where I'm learning new infomation and having to work at the same time?

Perhaps Mum and Dad should have had me work during school before so I could be used to the stress and the small, small amount of sleep I get before something important like college.

Ah well, guess I'll go with the flow. . . . I wrote floor. wtfh. Guess it shows I'm tired.

--Sere
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Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Welp, it's next time. So I'm updating. While eating mac and cheese. Mmm, delicious, wonderful macaroni and cheese. At 10:30 in the morning no less-when I should be having a nice, healthy bowl of cereal. But no, I want macaroni and cheese.

Well, this week is going to be crazy.

Tuesday(a.k.a. today): Eye appointment at 3 to get my eyes dilated, then hanging out with J-chan and getting my hair cut (hopefully), then going to The Lion King musical at 6:30-7:00ish.

Wednesday: If hanging out with J-chan after my eye appointment doesn't work, today is the day. Also wandering around going: "The light! It burrrrnnnnsss. It buuuurrrrnnnsssss us!"

Thursday: Eye surgery at 10 AM, spending rest of the day in a semi-comatose state because drugs=wheeeeee sleep.

Friday: Post-op exam at 1 PM, wandering around going: "Why can't I seeee? Oh, because of these fsking patches."

Saturday: Mini-con, from 7 AM to about 1 AM. Because I'm working the convention, getting there at 7 AM to help set up and then staying after the dance (which ends at midnight) and helping to clean up.

Sunday: Freeeedom! In other words, back to enrolling for college and back to looking for a job to make up for the (probably ridiculously crazy amounts of) money I spent at Mini-con.

If your're going "ZOMGWTF eye surgery?" like most everyone I've talked to has, I'm getting LASIK. You know, LASIK-the laser surgery that corrects your vision so you probably won't have to wear glasses again until you're in your 40s.

Because yes, Sere is nearsighted pretty badly and has had to wear glasses for most of her 18 and some change years on earth and while she likes glasses and wearing them because they make her look sophisticated, glasses are evil and like to find a way on to the top of her head so she can't find them in the morning.

And you call could be going: "Well, why not wear contacts, Sere? Surely that would be easier?" and it would be, except for one small problem: I like to sleep. Randomly. I will be in my room working on a story and then wake up several hours later and a feeling most commonly described as "Well, fsk." And since I'm not privy to the wonders of those overnight contacts, sleeping is a bad, bad thing.

So no contacts for the Sere. =(

And that is all I have to say.

Hybrid Vigor, ZOMG. ZOMGZOMGZOMG. The happiness I feel right now. I thought it would never, EVER return to OB - HV3 was 2002 *sob* - and it did, albeit not Rico's version, but it's still back. *worships James, but not like a God*

Um, post about hair cutting and The Lion King tomorrow, for I don't want to bombard you with too much, kay?

--Sere
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Monday, May 8, 2006

Hello. I'm back. Yes, I did fall of the face of the planet there for a while, if you're wondering. In fact, when I fell of the face of the planet, I met some seemingly wonderful aliens and they took me around the universe and then when they tried to sell me as a sex slave I escaped and am now avoiding the intergalactic police. One crazy week, let me tell ya.

Actually, I've just been busy with school. Dinner Theatre starts . . . well, today, actually, since it's now Monday, and the Drama classes have had practice all last week. But my schedule for this week is pretty much:
-Wake up and get ready for school.
-Suffer through six hours of school.
-Go home around 3.
-Get a quick meal.
-Get back up to the school by 5.
-Stay at school performing until around 11 PM.
-Go to bed.
-Wake up and do it all over again.
Mind you, this is only Monday through Thursday. On Friday, I spend about three hours at school and then leave for graduation practice, and then at 7, I graduate high school. Crazy, ne?

Of course, I still have a week and two days left after that until I REALLY leave school, but who cares? I'll still have finished my high school education.

If you don't hear from me for a bit, I've probably dropped off the face of the planet. Again. And I'll bet you those pesky policemen will have caught up to me and I'll have gone into hiding. But don't worry; I'm far too cunning for them to catch me.

So, until next time, ne?

--Sere
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Saturday, April 29, 2006

Random thing. o_o;;
If you leave a comment requesting a quick analysis, then I will respond to you about the following...

1. I'll respond with something random I like about you.
2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I'll name something we should do together.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me (or just me).
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6. I'll leave you a quote that is somehow appropriate to you.
7. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal so you can do the same for other people.

On a more journal-y note, I always get a little bit of a rush when I find that there is someone else in the world who enjoys the same rare fan-coupling that I do. I guess it makes me feel a little less weird about myself, because I mostly support canon or might-be-canon in the future couples. It is a rare thing indeed to find me fangirling about a non-and-will-never-be-canon couple.

Also, it's raining. Again. While most people are probably like, "Yeah, who gives a crap?", Oklahoma hasn't seen rain like this in a while. We've been in a several year drought, and rain like this is very nice. A little annoying, because going anywhere outside gets you soaked, but good for Oklahoma. Maybe we get enough rain and this burn ban will finally be able to be lifted. So yay for rain!

. . . I really need to start working on my stories again. I've really slacked off.

--Sere
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Tuesday, April 25, 2006

I hate being sick, I really do. But I doubt there is anyone who enjoys being sick. If you do, yer a weirdo.

But anyway, my weekend was fun. The rents and I went to an art exhibit at Philbrook and then wandered outside for a while and took some pictures, and then I spent the rest of the weekend with J-chan at her apartment watching anime and this really weird movie called "The Butterfly Effect".

We spent a long time talking about her time in Midwest City and the people she met there, and I feel a little bit better about the fact that she was living there. And apparently she's made up with her mother, because J-chan's mum called twice while I was there. I guess living a hour and a half away from Tulsa can really patch things up.

J-chan suggested for me to maybe move in with her after I graduate, and I don't know if I'll take up on the offer. It would be fun, and maybe help me with the problem of how I don't really feel like I'm ready to get out of the house, but I don't know if my parents would agree. And if my sister decides to come back and go to college with me, it would really help with gas prices and stuff for me to stay at home and just drive the same car as Sissy to college. Cause when I paid for J-chan's gas on Sunday, it was $2.75. Is that not crazy? There was a time when I knew we would never see 1 dollar gas again, but now I wonder if we're ever going to see 2 dollar gas again. *sigh*

Too bad you can't solve the nation's gas problem by telling everyone to boycott gas and ride bikes everywhere. Because while that would be cool, it would never work. There are too many people in America who are too lazy or too stubborn for that to work. Too many people in America anyway.

--Sere
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