Wednesday, April 20, 2005

   The Answer....
O.o I have come to the conclusion that I am still living in a 'Highschool dramm' type atmosphere....

I went into my work study today, toatlly expecting to have one or all of the following happen:
A) Get chewed out by everyone
B) Hear the Head Professor do a Donald Trump and say, "You're FIRED!"
C)Have Stabby-girl come after me with another pointy object accompanied by the senior girl who jumped on me yesterday
D) Have EVERYONE just ignore me...

And none of these things happen o.o......

I get in there and the Head Professor hands me a list:
"I'm going to New York for the rest of the week and I won't be back until Monday. Will you please do these things for me while I'm gone because you're the only one I trust to do them."
O_O
I thought I was gonna hit the floor and DIE!

Here I was...thinking DEATH and DESTRUCTION for the 'outright defiance' I had expressed by not coming to the meeting...and everyone acted as if nothing had happened...

Am I in the Twilight Zone?....

So now I am left wondering:
What the Crap?! >.O

I worried and stressed for nothing.

Now I'm left with a few conclusions:
A: No one cares
B: My punishment is coming when I least expect it
C: They have decided to just nod and smile at me from now on
D: I am now officially one of their 'children'

I have no freakin clue now - so I'm not sure if I should:
"YEAHOO! Eat that beyotches! ^-^"
or
"Hrm...something's not right...o.o.."

I'm not going to worry about it. It is not worth the stress.
Maybe they think I have "balls" now? o.o

My friends are celebrating for me and I'm currently hiding out with the Bluedemonboy. Who is laughing at me AGAIN! -.-'
I shall slay him! >.O But later ^^...mwahaha
BDB: *worried lok* o.o eep....

Well, much love and may the farts of the wicked never cross your nostrils ^^'!

- S




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Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Why....
This week has not gone well, and it has put me in an odd and strange diposition that is very much unlike me...
It all started last friday-
Stabby-girl was planning a kareoke type thing for some upcoming freshmen for pre-registration for Saturday. They wanted a big banner and flyers for the event- and I became drafted to do so. Well, one of our members had returned our roll of banner paper to the department that rightfully owned it, I went to one of my professors and asked him what should be done: "Don't worry about it."
Then, I begin on the flyers and complete them save for the time of the actual event. I went back to the same professor 3 times...3 times. His respose is: "I don't know what to tell you honey. Stabby-gorl is having a meeting later on- just leave the file where we can find it and we'll take care of it."
I show him- show him- where the file is on the Desktop of the main computer, and leave fore the day.
Monday, I head in to work study like usual and the first things the Head Professor does is pull me into his office and shuts the door.
"You've let me and the rest of the Department down."
Me: o.o "I-..what?..."
HP: "No one showed up to the event because you didn't make the banner or the flyers."
I wait for him to finish and then begin to explain what the professor and I had discussed and that I was sorry that no one showed up- but I didn't feel as if I should be held so harshly responsible.
HP: "I am not going to argue with you. If you hit a stumbling block you get it done no matter what."
When the Head Professor says this- the conversation is COMPLETELY over. But I am left wondering:
If the production was so important, and all those other crewmen where there, and the professor knew where the flyer file was located...why didn't someone pick up the ball that I had supposedly dropped?
"Why id no one else make an attempt to at least get out flyers?
They were there three hours before the production- why did they sit on their hands and do nothing?
Why did no one make an attempt to contact me?
If Stabby-girl was running the show and it was so important to her- why did SHE do nothing?

Today rolls around. I've been working myself really hard the past week and I'm physically falling apart from fatigue, and everything that has happened to me in my department has me in one of those "antipathetic and homicidal' moods. I didn't go to class or workstudy. I contacted my teacher, and went to the nurse for my excuse, but I did not contact my Head Professor. He would not understand and I would rather not make up some lie to tell him. I avoid almost everyone the rest of the day and just try to get myself back together and rested. Then I went to dinner in the cafe.
One of the seniors of the department, for some reason decides to sit with me and a group of friends at our table. We have had a strictly professional relationship, we are on civil terms at this point.
I remember that I am supposed to be a crewmen for one of her shows and I ask her for the date, and she says rather hottily that it was monday. I could have sworn that she changed it to a Saturday- but the date was never really set to my knowledge. I apologized for not being there and she replies that 'it will be discussed at tonight's meeting."
I groan inwardly and I do an internal diagnosis: I feel like I've been hit by a semi 50 times, I'm aggitated from yesterday, I'm not in the meeting mood, and I fear that if I go to the meeting I may do something that I regret. I really don't need to be around them.
So I swallow my last piece of dinner and tell her that I'm not going. She demands to know why. I hate lying and I tell her the truth: I don't want to go. I just don't feel well.
She then proceeds to badger me, I'm not responsible, I'm not mature, I'm a flaker, many terrible things.
But I won't fuel her fire. "I don't have to prove anything to anyone. I am sorry you feel this way, but I won't be there."
She then says something else, but she barely even whispers it- and I just nod.
My friends cheer me on afterwards for standing up for myself and being honest. They understand...but somehow I don't...
Then I am swept to a tie-dye party with my friends who wish to cheer me up- and it is fun, but I cannot escape how dark I feel.

Now I wonder:
Why did I do this?
Was I right to be honest about how I feel?
Why do I care anyway after all that has happened, and the way they treat me?

I feel so dark and hollow inside.
I have never felt like this before.
I have never just told anyone 'No, I'm not going to."
I usually just suck it up and do
it, bot not this time.

I have this complex that I developed when my parents divorced, that I'm always an inconvinience, that I'm in everyone's way and that no one really wants me with them. Also, can't stand to have anyone upset with me, or dissapointed in me.

Yet, everyday I spend in the department chips away the wall that I had built to keep this at bay...and ....I think it's completely broken...now...

Was I wrong?
What does it matter?!
Why do I care?! I shouldn't!
But still I do....

Tomorrow, I have decided to go back into work study like normal. I will neither deny nor condone my actions and my decisions. If the Head Professor fires me from my position then so be it. I will not be returning to this institution next year, despite what I now know about the department and the way it works, I could never build myself a comfort zone within it.
I have found that I cannot change the way that they view me, I have tried and I have failed. The only thing left is to move on.

But...still....how did it come to this?...

..... why? ....
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Sunday, April 17, 2005

   Doo de doo...
Well, Serrafina is BACK!
for the most part anyways ^-^'...

Been incognito for a while, sorry bout that, things have been NUTZ in my life! o.O

My educational stay is coming to a close and getting ready for the move back to my homelands has been quite complicated;
I have STRANGE men calling me and provoking my LETHAL WRATH! >.< ;
I've been reading this awesome anime called 'Vampire Game' if any of you have already consumed it- good for you ^.^ ;
My place of education went PSYCHO last night- let's just say half the police force came en-masse and stayed all night o.o ;
And Serrafina has suffered from a lack of sleep. Insomnia = >.O'.

But I have remained unscathed- ONCE AGAIN! MWHAHA! ^,,^

Yet, the BLuedemonboy arrives to thwart me again, so I must induldge him. ^-^

Much Love!

-S
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Sunday, April 10, 2005

   The House of Blue Healing ^.^
Sorry about the long pause there- but I have healing a sick…very SICK friend back to health after some very traumatic aliments. It all started on my April 7th , Birthday…
The Bluedemonboy had left me a suspicious red bag inside my room, and upon opening it I found a fuzzy blue teddy bear and two anime novels. Needless to say, THE BEST GIFTS EVER! *watery heart eyes*
I wished to thank him for the generous gift , and thus I traveled across the mountainous terrain and grassy plains to where his evil lair resides…the Hall of Katarine! *Dun-dun-DUN!*
Unfortunately for Bluedemonboy and myself…we are poor *insert swear words here*…so his lair resides within a college dorm full of thug wanna B’s and ‘Home Dogs.’ And the building was actually designed to be an insane asylum, because the college thought that it might have to rent some of the room out to the local mental health institution to get more money…fortunately it did not- but the layout of madness remains…
Thus, I traversed the grimy white halls to Bluedemonboy’s lair- and what I found was terrible-
My friend lay sprawled on the floor nothing more than a drooling heap, his outstretched arm reaching for his precious Cowboy Bebop DVD’s. Yet, his fingers fell just inches from his last hope. The sleepless heathens that blare rap music throughout the building continuously for no apparent reason must have driven Bluedemonboy to stupification! He must have gone days without sleeping, hours without being free of the cacophony and had fallen to its insanity… I knew I had to save him and fast!
I gathered up some of his things and then rushed him to the serenity and quiet of my own lair in the Sanctuary of Wellari-Craige. Making him comfortable on my newly acquired futon, I began to nurse him back to evil- I mean health ^^’.
With a ready supply of Chicken Fried Rice, Amytiville Horror movies, plenty of anime, walks in the forest, sleep, chocolate donuts, Professor Pib, video games and four days- Bluedemonboy is now back to his old evil self ^.^
But, now I’m out of Chicken Fried Rice, donuts, soda and several mystical items that could destroy the world. O.O….
But Bluedemonboy wouldn’t take those ^.^’….I think …o.o…

I have also managed to heal my bum knee in the same amount of time, but I have acquired a nasty cough and a craving for macaroni and cheese…but that is another story.

I have decided to keep Bluedemonboy for another day…just for observation…*looks around nervously*

Much love! ^.^

- S
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Tuesday, April 5, 2005

   Paranioa, Paranoia...
Well, Serrafina has done it again...wounded herslef -.-'

Went to a playground with some friends last evening, did the merry-go-round, swung, climbed everything in sight, pretended to be Venom prowling above the world searching for spleens...XD

Now before I get into the actual injuries I must clear up something:
When Serrafina plays- she plays hard. (Take that however you will ^-^)
And when I injure myself, I mutter a simple 'ow' and then uterly and total forget about it, unless it's bleeding or keeps me from moving. My mind does this weird thing where it registers the ailment the instant received and then shuts off all feeling to it. A blessing as well as a curse...

So, Bluedemonboy and I had our sleep over. The madness kept us awake- the world was almost destroyed by my wrath- and when the alarm went off...we just continued sleeping. ^-^
11:15 rolls around and I roll over and begin to step off the bed-
PAIN! O.O
I check my left knee and there I see...a...huge...purply-red welt...slightly large than a golf ball- and half of it has embedded itself down to the bone...
-.-' crap.
Curious- I check the rest of myself and find three more red-purple places.
-.-' mega crap

So Serrafina has done it again and almost broken herself. I am now cooped up in my room, resting my knee...watching the Cast of the orgional Star Trek being attacked by aliens that resemble barf spills and undercooked scrambled eggs covered in hot sauce. At least I get in some quality study time.

I have sent the 'Save Serrafina Relief and Aid' petition to Bluedemonboy. If you would like to donate, please contact him for furthur information-please have your checking account information and credit card number ready.
Fast Food and Transformers items are also accepted ^-^.

As to the Paranioa...that is what Bluedemonboy chants when I stalk him on Halo 2 ^_^. And I think it is funny. He beat me yesterday in shotguns- but I retaliated in a game of Ghost madness! And if u use 'Serrafina' and 'swords' in the same sentence- he cringes in FEAR! ^-^

OMG! O.O Dentyne Ice has a Vanilla Chill! I luves Vanilla!

Ok, well for the rest of the evening I will probably kick it wif BDB, go have a mocktail and watch Rose Red.

Much luv!

-S


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Monday, April 4, 2005

   INSTANT MADNESS!
The BlueDemonBoy (aka me Lord and Master), and I do many wonderfully hilarious things when our evil auras cross paths-
Tonight happens to be one of them ^-^
It's late, we both stink- so we both decide to take our respected showers (ALONE YOU PERVERTS! >.O)and then check back, this is where the fun begins ^-^:

BlueDemonBoy: Just how fun is bathing?
BlueDemonBoy: obviously I'm out already... -=runs around in pajamas=-
SERRAFINA: * is still running around in towel * give me a sec ^^
BlueDemonBoy: i see...
SERRAFINA: >.O STOP LOOKING!!!
SERRAFINA: *swat!*
BlueDemonBoy: why? ^//^
BlueDemonBoy: ruining my fun...... -_-
SERRAFINA: rrr -,-
BlueDemonBoy: lol
BlueDemonBoy: O.O -=gets nosebleed=- GAH!! -=falls over=- shouldn't..... have.... peeked...
SERRAFINA: tosses towel over the comp to keep prying eyes at bay*
SERRAFINA: *snickers*
BlueDemonBoy: o.o darn.....
BlueDemonBoy: -=waits patiently=-
SERRAFINA: *rummaging sounds and furious padding of bare feet*
BlueDemonBoy: eh?
BlueDemonBoy: -=is curious=-
SERRAFINA: *chain saw and electric tire iron sounds*
BlueDemonBoy: OO -=doesn't want to know anymore=-
SERRAFINA: *wood chiper*
BlueDemonBoy: eep.... O.O
SERRAFINA: *glass bottles jingling and spell mumblings along with many poofing sounds*
BlueDemonBoy: -=grows horns=- eh? what are you doing? ^^'
SERRAFINA: [that's not me! o.o] *Emperial droid chatter*
SERRAFINA: *tie fighter screeches*
BlueDemonBoy: O.O -=uses jedi mind trick=- You see nothing....
SERRAFINA: [jedi mind tricks only work on the weak minded!] Mwahaha! >o<
SERRAFINA: *laser beams and techno music*
BlueDemonBoy: -=does a dance=-
SERRAFINA: *Mortal Kombat!*
BlueDemonBoy: o.O oh crap
SERRAFINA: *high pitched Jackie- Chan Bruse Lee wails and punching sounds*
SERRAFINA: *whips and chains*
SERRAFINA: [now where is that nightgown?...]
BlueDemonBoy: -=evil grin=-
SERRAFINA: *cymbol crash and a cat screech*
SERRAFINA: [Ohh- sorry Alfadore o.O ]
BlueDemonBoy: OO =is oh so very confused=-
SERRAFINA: *Godzilla roar*
BlueDemonBoy: Go-jira!!!
BlueDemonBoy: -=runs=-
SERRAFINA: [get off my caboodle lizard vermin! >.O]
BlueDemonBoy: eh? OO
SERRAFINA: *many locks being undone*
BlueDemonBoy: don't wanna know..... for my sanities sake
SERRAFINA: [where's tha friggin hair gel?...]
BlueDemonBoy: -=has unpure thought= OO
SERRAFINA: *transforming sound*
BlueDemonBoy: dear.... God.....
SERRAFINA: [ arg not now Galvatron! EVIL MUST PRIMP AFTER BATHING!] >.O
BlueDemonBoy: OO =is still confused=-
BlueDemonBoy: =tries to peek=
SERRAFINA: ZAP* and FIRE!
BlueDemonBoy: =ducks= OO eep.
SERRAFINA: [ who turned on the flamethrower? o.o]
BlueDemonBoy: =puts flamthrower away= ^^'
SERRAFINA: *GIR squealing sounds*
BlueDemonBoy: .....
SERRAFINA: *computer and servo hums*
BlueDemonBoy: decent yet? O.o
SERRAFINA: [ almost finished! ^.^]
SERRAFINA: *kating splat, whoosh!- whapish-Arg!- Zing! FasWWOOOM! Whap Ka-thunk- Bad-dunkflup FA SHING!*
SERRAFINA: *silence*
BlueDemonBoy: O.O =avoids unpure thoughts=
SERRAFINA: *towel jerks away from screen* HIYA KEVIN! ^-^
BlueDemonBoy: EEP... OO
SERRAFINA: sorry bout all that ^.^
BlueDemonBoy: busy.... right....
SERRAFINA: Jus a lil...

And it is late- I hope you have enjoyed out instant madness- and may there be MANY more.
I am now going to brush my teeth to a glaring pearly whiteness. You can't rule the universe and be evil with gingivitus. ^-^

Much love!

-S
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Sunday, April 3, 2005

   Many ages,....
Many ages have past since last I wrote uponst this website-
So I'm fissin it! >.O

I've been REALLY entangled over here. I is poor and broke and the job hunt is still in a mull, but Long Joe Stinkers wishes to hire me I think.
I can see it now:
Serrafina the Fish Fryer.
And oh the fish I shall reek of!
-.-' but it's money and i is a slave to it...

Radiothon has been a declared HIT!
At least it was at 3 am this morning. I slipped up a bit b/c I got too excited on air, but everyone told me not to worry about it. A friend of mine named "C-Dot" has officially dubbed me "Queen Tika". We had a contest between all the DJ's to see how could 'break' the 'crunk-o-meter' and win the 'crunk-goblet'. And because Of my obviously white and hillarious skills- I ended up helping C-Dot and R-Scribble win the competition.
...They made me rap on air...
*shudder*

Now I am doing my laundries- very exciting I know, but my birthday is this Thursday!!
I don't have any plans and I'm broke and away from home so it may just be another normal day for me.
Plus I have to work on our mock' American Idol show' the campus hosts-
PLEASE...do not ask...it scares me too o.o...

Well anyhoo, that's all for now my sweets-
May the kisses of the sun bless your face and the wind forever caress your soul.

- S
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Friday, March 25, 2005

   What...a night....
Ok's...
IT's official....
Imma sucker for donuts and 'Barns & Hobos'(The Book Store Place)....o.o...
So, my crazy and slightly psycho friend- Mistress Niqui, calls me up last evening after I got done with the last post...
"Serrafina asleep on the keyboard
BBBBRRRRRRR!!!!!!!
Serrafina screeches and falls onto the floor. THUMP! Realizing it was just the phone, she reaches up a hand and grabs the phone*
Me: Hello?
MN: HHHEEEYYY!!!!! You wanna go to the City and go by Barns & Hobos? It'll be fun! ^.^
ME: erm..ok ^.^
MN: I'll see you in ten seconds!
*click= phone dead*
*Then I realize I need to put clothes on O.O*

So here I am driving in the Mistress Niqui Mobile listening to 80's tunes and Marylin Manson's Greatest Hits ^.^...
Then she decides we should go stalk this guy she's stalking named FLipper, who works at Smoking (Bear) Bones. So we's get there, the place is packed, we end up eating only donuts, and the Flipper is so terrified of M.N. that he can't RUN past our table fast enough!
But they did give me a bottle of water and a cool wind glass to drink it out of ^.^...
Then we go to Barns and Hobos...
Walk around for an hour and a half...
There are NO ANIMES! NO MANGA! NO SWEET NICE DVD's OF THE JAPANESE GOODNESS! O.O
..'Cause they were renovating'...
Oh jeez! Why couldn't you move the SEXUAL HEALING SECTION? Or THE SELF-HELP SECTION (Im sorry but if you want to renovate your house go to The 'Home DumpPot', not Barns and Hobos) OR THE MAGAZINE SECTION?! (You can get all the trashy dirt you want at Wal-Farts >.<)
WHY THE ANIME/ MANGA SECTION!!!???
Luckily for them- Mistress Niqui dragged me out before I go seriously SEPHIROTH/DArk MAge/Decepticon Fleet on their @$$es...cause I was gonna wreek come SERIOUS death/destruction/annihilation/doom!!!!
So the whole trip home- I was supressing the violence and rage...then I thought, "Jeez this trip was really unproductive...OH! I have food in the fridge! Imma gonna eat Salsbury Steak tonight! ^.^"
And the rage subsided.
We finally got back- I rushed to my lair of darkness and soft things, made myself BIG juicy steak in gravy and played on the internet killing things the rest of the night-
Until I passed out again.

More later!

Much Love!

- S
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Thursday, March 24, 2005

   T.G.I.E!!
Thank God It's Easter!

Apart from getting a three day weekend and no school tomorrow- *Serrafina rejoices ^.^ * Easter has always been one of my favorite times of the year.
First- I was born on Easter Sunday, the sun rose exactly as I was born at 4:15 am.m...it was the craziest sunrise time ever recorded. My mom calls me her Easter babby ^.^ And my baby blanket, that my grandmother made me, is green with a JINORMOUS bunny rabbit on it!
Second- It's getting close to my birthday!
Third- It means that Spring is coming and the cold, icky winter weather is getting booted out. This means I can get nekkid now more often ^_^ and not freeze me boobies of.
Fourth- Color returns to nature. Lots of green! Flowers! -I'm out of bubble gum o.o!- Fruit! Vegetables! Aminals!
(Yes I said 'AMINALS'...
DO NOT MOCK MY AWESOME GRAMMER SKILLS! >.O)
(Sidenote: My weakness- and being evil I curse it well -.-', are cute fluffy aminals that aren't pink. If something cute walks up to me and says 'gimmie!' I have to GIVE! I- I just can't resist IT! o.O... My other weakness are things in armor or of the like. Armor is DEAD sexy!
I is an armor *nympho*!!! ^.^)
OK-Moving on....

I drew a bunch of stuff last night and I wanna post it..but the scanner on campus Is an BEYOTCH! >.< I will bend it to my evil or destroy with LARGE hammer!

Well, thas all fer noe kiddies! I shall inform you more of my dastard..li...ness...stuff o.o ater.
Bye! ^.^


*Serrafina is a member of the BIG V (virgin) Club*

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Wednesday, March 23, 2005

   Hum...-wha?...is it dead?
Happy Mid-day to you all!
(That is if it IS midday where you are o_o)
Well, I got the thunderstorm I asked for last night. ^.^
Only it happened at 3 am this morning -.-'
Such is the luck of evil...
It was quite beautiful. I heard all of my favorite thunder strikes, rumbles and shockwaves.
I have always liked thunderstorms even when I was little. Most other children (like my older sister the screamer -.-') become completely terrified during them, but not myself. A faint memory comes into my mind of my father sitting in a chair next to the wide, sliding glass doors in the kitchen; his massive frame silhouetted by the lightening...
But I think I like storms the best beacuae I always dream better when it's storming outside- And when I say 'better' I mean more nightmarish and vivid! ^.^
Infact, I'm quite lucky that one of my hall-mates asked me to watch her futon.
As the storm began, I was having this intense dream where I was trying to fight off a re-occuring nightmare force that has plagued me since the age of 7. I'm not quite sure what it is- it is a living black mass of evil that has made almost every attempt to consume me. Last night- it was trying again. So picture if you will, myself, tossing and flipping about the bed struggling and clawing with basically nothing, then a loud lightening strike goes off. Jolted from sleep, my body instantly springs into the upright position, but my latest flop plus this momentum sends me tumbling off the edge of the bed just as my eyes pop open and before the blank look can reach my face. THUMP! - oof!
The next thing I know, I'm laying on my side on the futon my limbs flailed every-which-way.
Pulling the scattered pieces of my mind (and myself) back together, another rumble reaches my now attuned ears. I turn my head upwards to look out the half opened window and watch the lightning rivet the sky.
"Lightning.." I whisper with a child-like awe, completely forgetting for an instant the peril I was just in.
Then, my mind comes back to me and I start removing myself from the futon, piecing together how I got there.
I climbed back onto my bed and laid on my side staring out another window and watching the world brighten and then rush back into darkness, and waited for the thunderous sounds that followed.

My alarm goes off. I fall back to sleep..
MUST WAKE UP! my mind screams. I sit upright again, this time avoiding a fall to the futon adn realize that I have less than 30 minutes to make it to Math class!
O.O Oh crap!
Somehow I managed to maek it there with time to spare.
The world outside is vivacious and bright. Nature rejoices after a storm, it becomes cleansed and healed. The birds won't shuttup for anything! >.o The squirrels run around like they're on speed. Event the worms won't stay in the freakin ground. And there are plenty of puddles to play in ^.^
[[>.O My little sister won't stop IM-ing me so I can finish this!!]]

-.-' I wil have to finish this later.

Much Love,

- S


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