Saturday, August 20, 2005

....The Beating....
You guys are so wonderful to care so much for me ^-^.
There is no one on My O that has ever caused me any grief - I love you all and you are never a problem! ^0^

My problem is my home life...

Mom called a 'Family Meeting' that was really a 'Bash the Eldest Daughters Cause I Can't Think of Anything Else to Beat Up On."
By the end of it, mom was yelling at me to pack my stuff and leave, she made my older sister cry (AGAIN! >.O), my little sister cried and then decided to just walk away from the house and wander down the street in her PJs.

My older sister and I realized that the youngest was gone, hopped into BreakShaft and went to search for her. We found her, but she wouldn't get in the car. Eventually I convinced her to at least walk back to the house and stop this melodramatic BS b/c we just didn't need it.

God my life is hell! -.-

This morning the youngest refused to speak to me and now she has started to do so again - and I don't know whether to rejoice or gripe about it.
Mom wouldn't let me take a shower b/c there were some people coming to see the house in a few minutes.
OMG She forgot to tell me this boforehand AGAIN! >.-

So then I find myself at CrackerBucket (the country store and restauraunt) smellin' to high hell, hair tucked beneath my bandana and looking like some derranged alley cat, no one's talking to me, and instead of ice tea I get water.
Thank God for good biscuits or I may have just gone berserk and destroyed half the world...

Now don't get me wrong, my family isn't always like this - they aren't bad people.
My mom just likes pills and throwing wrenches into everyone's happy little clockworks.
My little sister has had to listen to everyone yell since she was born and she doesn't know how to express how she feels and would rather just keep it all inside instead of making anyone angry by choosing sides.
My Older sister has spent so much of her life chasing after boys for fear of being alone for the rest of her life, has now realized that she should have spent that time with us. So many bad things have happened to her lately (Mom sees her weakness and exploits it every chance she gets).
And Daddy...
My Father married and controlling dike. But he's being the man now ans putting his foot down on her - and I can't express in words how happy that makes me! ^-^
Step-Mom....if she died I wouldn't shed any tears...of sadness that is. ^^

Once again I'm the only one who doesn't bend beneath the stress, the pain, and the threats, somehow managing to keep my own sanity intact. I keep moving on as if it didn't happen, but make no mistake that when it starts, I always make sure everyone knows exactly where I stand and that no matter what they say or do I will not move and inch.

I sense a 'Come To Jesus Feelin' coming on...

This has beenmy life since I was 8, and mom and dad split.
It sucks...
It's hard...
But it makes me strong <>o<>!!!

I'm gonna go watch some RedvsBlue with Catie and then go shoppin! ^0^

Much love!

- Serra
Comments (2)