Monday, July 24, 2006

Last night I watched Alias and other assorted shows on at 10-5 in the morning.
And, when I went to sleep... I had a dream.

I dunno exactly how everything happened, but it started in a hotel, and ending up me running from this shadowy figure with lots of spiders coming from it. <___> (I have a phobia of spiders. I freak out if I see one, I usually break down and cry if one touches me)

Something about running away from these things in a waterpark (Most likely coming from the Axel Foley movie) and ending up at some music and movie festival.

Okay, pretty boring right? Nah, Jennifer Garner was there for some reason, and me, her, and two other people in the dream were resting on hammocks over a cliff with an ocean below. One person fell, the other two caught on, but I fell as well.

Its weird how you can feel so well in a dream, almost as if its really happening. Its an odd feeling to fall too your death, especally since its one of thoes dreams where I thought the dream was real. :/

Its all fuzzy, but the feeling in my body, and the thoughts in my head were pretty true. I just thought it was worth mentioning, I learned what I would think if I was about to die.

Weird, ne?
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Saturday, July 22, 2006

Nyaa nyaaaa
Rawr. Its raining, but I sadly don't feel like basking in the beauty of the bleak. Well, I do, but, meh.

It turns out band camp starts next week. ;_; So I'll have to sleep early once again to make sure I wake up at 7. :/ I hate waking up early.

I started reading the Blame manga, its pretty good even though at the beginning, I thought it was bad. Its pretty compelling, and it reminds me of a concept I never wrote. Ohs wells.


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Wednesday, July 19, 2006

I've been busy
Not many people visit, but sorry, I've been busy. :/

Band is starting up soon (And thoes who know best will not allow me to quit.) in fact, it starts tommrow. T___T

I don't care, but it's still going to take away ALOT of my day. from 8-3. T_______T

I'll leave alille Tao Te Ching statement to tie my loves over for a while. ;0


'Fill your bown to the brim, and it will spill.
Keep sharpening your knife, and it will blunt.
Chase after money and security, and your heart will never unclench.
Care about people's approval
And you will be thier prisioner.

Do your work, and step back
The only path to serenity.'
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Saturday, July 15, 2006

Rawr
Well, I went to FNM last night, and lost by one roundd! T____T The final game was the best, and tensest game I've ever played. It lasted, wayy to long, and I tripped overmyself (Metaphorically) and lost because I thought I was going to lose. T___T No one noticed it, but if I had kept my cool, I would of won.

Damn. ;___; They did admit I've gotten alot better,(They've been playing for years, I just started playing again for two weeks) and I'm getting semi-accepted as a regular in the store, though I'm just too reluctant to talk to many people. :/

Had a nice dream, twas about a game (I know cuz I remember dieing and doing a part over again. :/ But it was pretty cool, there was a story behind it, but I forget things like that quick, as I did.

No one was here, so I woke up at three. ^___^ Though I still didn't want to get up (I went to sleep at four; Nine hours is good for you ;0)

Sleepy, and I'm just about to go play with the cat. ^___^ She's out of heat, and trotting around like normal. I'll take a pictar of her when I get around to it for you, my loves. ;0


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Thursday, July 13, 2006

T____T I might of messed this up, I'm not good at HTML.

My eyes are red, simply because I only slept two hours today. T___T
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Rawr, in a good mood, for once
I got up at 8 today, because a dog kept barking. I had gone to sleep around 4, and my brain was hurting (Or it felt like it, nya nyaa). So I catnapped for until 2.

And when I woke up. I was in a good mood; It turns out that I was listening to music in my sleep as well. ;0

Well, I woke up, and baked a cake after I heard Last Time by MSI. o__O Why that song made my think of cake? I dunno, but I just pulled the cake out of the oven, and I am waiting for it to cool so I can ice it.

:0 I can't wait to eat it, and I'll post a picture of it.
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Wednesday, July 12, 2006

T___T My ASCII art, though newbish, isn't supported by MyO, so sad.


Wow, I've lost all artistic talent. :/ (I can't write poems like I used too, though, I guess its a good thing?) o__O

Went to the libary, had a nice 'ol dandy time (Though, when I came in it was 80 degress <__>)

My PS2 has been broken for some time, and I'm forced to resort to old school nintendo games, which, amazingly, are really filling.

We got to world 4 in SMB3 last night. It took me forever, but I actually got past world three (Which, is like the hardest for me :/) and from there it just gets harder.

'ne ways, band camp starts in a week and a day, and I'm thinking about quiting band too keep away from ruining the rest of my summer. :/


I just got to manga 13 of Ruoken and I'm not going to get another one in like, 3 weeks. *Headesk* I keep buying them to see any of my favorite characters fight, but alas, they aren't. -______-


Has anyone seen Vampire Princess Miyu? Its, by far, the most fsked up anime evar. I just got past the eipsode where the couple takes the cat in, and end up killing eachother over the cat. o__o God, every eipsode in the series is fucked up in its own way. I mean, it starts out, okay, but the second eipsode is one of the worst ones, it makes me wanna cry. ;__;


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Sunday, July 9, 2006

http://www.naruto-arena.com/

Sweet jesus this game is fun. o__o Anyone who ever glances at this, just click, and try a round to two. I'm hooked on it, its alot of fun. ^__^

My tag is Sesra, I use Naruto, Shikamaru, and Neji. :0 Trust me, dear random person, its the most fun you'll have all summer.
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Saturday, July 8, 2006

The dogs bark, but the caravan moves on
Someday I will die here (?)

Falling on the plain

Blood stained shirt, and crimson rusted spear

From this battle, with ill I'll refrain

A wisp will come up upon no battle hill

And she'll ask, "Whats wrong?"

And I'll reply, as I've before, "I think its wrong to kill."

The creature will gaze, and I will say, "This is for what I long."

"I wish to be a kitty, nay, a cat.

A long clawed tiller

Frolocking, rolling, sleeping without chat

Much I would give to be a feline, and not a cold blooded killer.

"I'd be dark orange, with myriad thin dark stripes
My beauty bounds beyond the rest.

And while my master (A king mind you) smokes a thin dark pipe.

On his lap, with a purr inside me, I would rest.

"And I would always bat chess peices like froth

The chambermaid, she'd like me most'

I catch mice, hyraxes, and a moth

In exchange for some nice, buttered toast

"And, I wouldn't die with anger or oblivion (Nor my life they'd save)

My master wouldn't be thier either, sadly visiting the caspian

The chambermaid would be the one, to dig my shallow grave.

And in the morning, I'd die, in a garden of a Lucastrian."

The doctor, pensively looking, and holding a cup

And much to my dismay

Saw straight through my lie; He said, "Get up."

And I said... "Okay."








Third post in an hour? And I just logged on for the first time an hour ago!? 'le gasp.

Today is actually busy. (!) Though mostly we get some people in that use the computers for all the hours I am here, today, we have both Myspace contenders, and thoes who are here to read books. I do miss when I used to be here alone for hours. :3 Its so nice, peaceful, silence.

'ne way. I have to be typing this of people will being to think I'm just doing nothing on the computer (if I don't waste my time writing this, I'll have too, you know, put the books up. :/}

Nothing is really happening, and I get irked when people come in and disturb my silence and peace; I'm about to leave, and now I'm worried about getting the people out of the libary.

I'm really shy and modest at the libary, so its going to be hard to tear people away from thier Myspaces. ;_;

I hate this.


Oh, BTW, Germany won 3-1. I didn't watch the game, but I stopped watching after Korea got its ass handed too them by the swiss. (I was in tears, all the teams I rooted for lost, horribly)
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Well, gotta fill the space with something intresting.
Sunset.

She wasn't carring cagarette's with her today. I don't know why. She wasn't much of a chain smoker, but she'd finish off a pack if she got her hands on some. When we left the house I asked if she wanted them, but she declined.

I was afraid when she told me she wanted to wear the hat. It was gaudy, white with flowers on it. One that a housewife would wear when strolling down a park on a perfect afternoon.

This was no perfect afternoon...

The rain of most of the day didn't seem to penetrate our plans of escape from confinement. All alone in a house usually ends up with sex, and then akward silences. We both didn't want that. She faked 'em anyway.

"Hey," She stopps looking up for a moment. I hate when she looks up. Suddendly, she transcends borders, becomes astral and is engulfed by the beauty of the clouds, but, this time, she turns, and her hat falls off.

I catch it, by instinct. She is infamous to drop things from her hands, and its almost a game now. Its how we met, when she dropped something, somewhere. I don't remember, so long ago. How long ago? Can I not remember anymore? I suddendly become lost, and instantly she is curious.

"Wha?" She is playfully 'in my face', trying to break my trance, "Whaaaaat." She hits her head aginst mine, softly. Our noses touch.

"Oh," I look up, the hills comes to its apex. The horrible experance is almost done, "I just got lost in thought," We continue to walk; I, stilling holding the hat, and her with her tirditional baggy clothes that sag so far down you can see more than enough middrift. She dosen't even care. She's not teaseing. She dosen't think about stuff like that.

If only I wouldn't either...

She spins around in an odd mannor, suddendly, I cough. Then sneeze. Oddly one after the other. I look up, and she's gone.

On my back. Ow.

I step foward to attempt to recover from the increased weight (She is thin, and refuses to eat anything with the letter 'C' in it for some reason, yet she smokes... She is so weird.) and then look up to see her dumb grin right above my face, "How are you now?"

"I don't know if I should be sad for myself, or at least glad this isn't boring," I sigh. Slow trudging up the hill to comply with her wishes.

"Meanie," And with that, we emerge. The lake...

Usually, teenagers worship this lake. Some adults too. They come to play, recriate, some even have jobs here. Its a nice beautiful lake, reflecting the song of life, magnified by the beautiful sunset that just started.

I lose my footing, for she kicks my knees and I fall foward. I catch myself, thank god. I wonder if she knew I would. Her tone loses its happiness, and she suddendly sounds like she about to cry, "Stay like this."

We do. She lies on top of me while we both sit in silence. Why must we always have akward silence? Or maybe, this isn't.

"We met here," She says after a few seconds, seemingly way too long. What is the tone for?

"I know,"

"Didn't you used to paint here? What happened to that?"

"You used to write here, didn't you."

Suddendly, she isn't so curious about me. Her mood is alittle better, but she still sounds like she wants to cry, "Yeah," She rolls over, and lands beside me. I still look foward, not rushing to look away from the sunset.

"What happened to that?" I ask, to keep her occupied from drawing my attention away from it. I miss painting...

She waves it off, "You know, one time I sat here and wrote an entire book, all day. A hundred pages. From when the sun came up to when the stars shone. It was my favorite day."

"Was it fun?"

"It was when we met, silly."

Suddendly. I remember.

November. The cool tempature drove away the normals, and I sat most of the day painting for a school project. I drew her in my painting. She sat in different positions all the time and sometimes moved, so it was hard to draw her. She was my favorite part of it.

Why did I stop painting?


Nighttime.

We dwadle away the moments, and the sunset is gone. There is a blue ghost, slowly slipping the dusk away to night.

"When we met," I suddendly bring the subject back up, "Why did you throw the book away?"



She did throw it away. I had fallen asleep right before I finished the painting, and I suddendly woke up to yelling. Yelling at 10 at night. A girl, thinking noone was around to hear her desperate yells at her father, mother, whatever, I forget.

She hung up, and then began to walk away, picking up the backpack and clipboard along the way. And suddendly, while she is walking back from which she came (And while I change my painting to put more empasis on her) she turns, and throws her backpack into the lake. No reason. She just does. Her clipboard soon after.

"You know, you did it too."

She snuck up on me as I changed the painting once again, to make it show her let her papers go to the wind. And suddendly, she speaks. I don't know how long it took for me to turn around, or how many times she had to tap my back with her leg, but I do.

I forget what we talked about, but I ended up throwing my painting into the river, to make you feel better.

"So, why did you throw it in?"

"Well, I didn't like it, I only paint when I'm sad," I sigh. Hating the fact. I guess I never have been sad since I met you.

"One writes a book with a hundred and twelve pages when one is sad as well," She rolls over to look to the sky.

"What made one so sad, on the day of the hundred and twelve page book?"



Silence.

You don't awnser.

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