Tuesday, July 18, 2006

   When did i blink??
Time: 4:45 pm
Song:Agony
Artist: Kotoko

~~ lyrics ~~

itsuka mita yume
todokanai tsubuyaki dake
yoru no hikari ni tsutsumarete samayoi yuku
yagate mihiraku sono hitomi unmei nara
semete sou, ima dake...

kanawanai to utsumuku yorukaze ni tada unadare
namida tsukikage te no hira ni afurete yuku
nani ga hoshii no?
kuchibiru wa yami ni furueteita

deatta ano toki ni mune tsuita egao
mamoritakute zutto kuzuresou na yakusoku wo
itami tsubusu hodo ni dakishimeteta

soba ni ireru dake de
onaji jikan ni irareru dake de
tooi kioku yomigaeru kanashimi mo atatamete yukeru no ni
mawaritsuzukete iru omoi ni
yasuragimichita owari wa kuru no?
kurikaeshita toikake wa ten ni mai
ake no sora no hikari ni kawaru

subete maboroshi ukande wa mata kieteku
janen kakikesu yubisaki ni karamitsuita mushoku no kusari
mogaku hodo kodoku wo andeita

tachikirareru you ni kibisu kaesu kaze
tsumeta sugiru ima mo "kimi ga iru kara da yo" to
yami ni ochita kotoba hanarenai

iki wo shiteru dake de
onaji itami wo kanjiru dake de
honno sukoshi shiawase wo tsumiageru ai
kizuite shimatta
kogoete katayoseru hitomi ni
mamoritai mono mitsukatta kara
tsugi no yoake te ni shiteta koukai de sabita kakera
hikari ni kaeru

fureau dake de sono shiawase wo omotta dake de
komiageteku
tsuka no ma no sayonara mo kienu kizuna ni naru to

soba ni irareru dake de
onaji jikan ni irareru dake de
tooi kioku yomigaeru kanashimi mo atatamete yukeru no ni
kizamikomarete ita shirushi ni
michibikare mata taoreru toki mo
mitsumeatta isshun ga sennen no kioku wo koe
hikari ni kawaru

~~ lyrics ~~

Today was strange, dezz picked me up and about and hour of arguing i made her take me home because i didn't want to get high with her.

Then i was sitting in my room, listening to kotoko and i started thinking.....

WHERE THE HELL DID MY LIFE GOOO?????

When i stop to think about it, i really have been a bit immature...I mean for what..three years almost i was smoking, with help from friends i was finally able to quit that..I don't do pot any more..I've flunked out almost every thing in my first too years of highschool and as a resuly i don't have much summer..And i hardly talk to the people i miss the most.

But not anymore..i sat down with my parents and told them my plan for the next three years:

I am going to do good in school this year. I made a contract with my parents, on my first grade below C, they'll take away my anime.On the second, they'll take my manga. Third my wall scrolls. And finally my TV, cell phone and computer privalages.
I'm currently looking for a job. I'll be starting to learn how to drive farely soon into school. I'm starting to get back in touch with alot of old friends.
I'm now officially sticking to my diet, i go to the gym at least three times a week. I'll be trying out for guard captain this year.
I'm getting all my required classes for the year,and i'm going to stick to an after school phrotography class. My senior year will be doing what i have to, have a decent job, be passing my classes..
Graduate, then it's off to North West Vista for the basics..Then i'll be shooting for univerity in San Marcos.
I'm actually starting to beleive in love again wich is a big deal for me.
i'm doing my chores and such without complaining..and most of all i'm trying to becomre a better friend then i have been..Makeing up for all the time i wasn't good enough for them.
I'm trying to slow down on the parties.. i'm actually trying to get along with my brother.
And...a'gasp..i'm actually going out side now and then for exercise.
Will be updating my wardrobe pretty soon, and a new hair cut just in time for school. (For those who don't know by the way, my hair is now red and black ^.~)

Reflecting is so weird...I mean when your little you can't wait to be older so you can do more stuff..And then you blink and it's there..and i can't help but thinking that i'm not ready..I guess it finalyl hit me that in about three years, i'll be an adult..I'll be supporting myself and not with my parents anymore..
I'll have to be out in the real world..i suppose no one really knows if there ready until it comes and hits you in the face with an over sized mallet that says "Your on your own now Bitch!!"

Well enough of my sudden flow of rational 'i finally grew up faze'talk..

L8ter Daze,
Sethos
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