Friday, October 13, 2006

   The Crimson
i feel it well up inside
and robert smith lied, boys do cry
and with blood tears in my eyes
i'm an anne rice novel come to life
i cant hide the monster anymore
one can only feel desolate for so long
until one starts to change into something
the mirror doesnt recognize
i metamorphosize
the darkness has been biding its time
to claim its latest victim
fresh meat for carnal desires
to become wut i became
i viewed the sun for the last time

will u still hold me
when you see what i have done?
will u still kiss me the same
when you taste my victims blood?
so crimson and red
i feel it flowing fromm your lips
crimson and red
My heart is dead and so are you

and it pulses through, the desire to change
to deconstruct all of my past failings
but where to begin
because when you live is sin
its hard to look at the saints
without them reflecting their jet black auras back on you
and all i have is hope
my inner burn's not fading
ill wipe the blood from my cheek and get on with my day

(chorus)

and all i have is hope
and all i need is time
to bury in pine under six feet of time
the lies i told me about myslef
claw my way out, pick the splinters from under my fingernails
i wont loose hope, i wont give in

just live and breathe, try not to die again(x3)

(Chorus)x2

my heart is dead, and so are you!!

"The Crimson"
-Atreyu

........O_O.....I...am really going to shoot, stab, eat, THEN KILL the person who did these lyrics...there are so many typos...ugh...my eyes...my brain...I can feel my IQ going down...and there go some of my brain cells...-.-'

Anyway, more to the point, this is a GREAT song, the chorus sounds so cool when they sing it, it's all soft and crooning, and then you hear screaming in the background...uwaah, I love it X3 I'm going to have to buy it off iTunes soon, since Victory Records finally stopped being stingy and put all their artists on iTunes...that means Taking Back Sunday, Silverstein, Aiden, Atreyu, Action Action, the Audition, June, Bayside...the list goes on, and it includes Hawthorne Heights, but I don't really like them, so...Ahaha, they really don't apply to my list *grin*

Well, how is everyone?

I think a few of you may be happy to know that this week was a good one, for the most part...I didn't scratch at all, except for on Monday, and I only did it once, and not deep at all...it was because I got back two tests that day, one of which I failed, and the other I just came out on the wrong side of a B, so...

But I'm stopping the scratching thing before it becomes a habit, so any of you that were worrying don't have to anymore ^-^ I've been handling things much better, and I went to my therapist on Tuesday...she says I really should go on the anti-depressants, since I have a family history of having clinical depression, and mood disorders like clinical depression and bipolar are hereditary, and my mom had both, and I'm showing signs of both, so...
And they're trying to set up more frequent appointments with the therapist, so with any luck, the clinical depression will subside...it never goes away completely, but it gets shoved into a dark little room by the therapy and the medication locks the door ^-^ (Haha, like my description? XD) So I am going to be getting some happy pills of my own soon, Lytjuh-sama XD

Well, onto the week's events...

Nothing extremely thrilling happened this week, but...well, I had a half-day yesterday, and off today, so I have a 3 1/2-day weekend...I have a lot of them this year...in fact, apparently, every year a few students review the calendar and figure out how many full weeks we have left in the year XD We only have 5 left, hahah....one of them is the week of Halloween, but that's probably going to be a bit less serious because of the holiday...

Well, we had a lockdown drill this week, which was pretty...interesting XD They had a "code" they said over the loudspeaker, which apparently changes every time, and it was something to the effect of "Teachers, please bring your RED folders to the OFFICE" haha...
I had it during Social Sciences, and my teacher, being crazy as he is, stood by the door (the doors are indented into the classroom, so there's a little "lip" area around the door where you can stand and not be seen), and he had a hammer in his hand, and he was like "The intruder better hope they have a helmet" XD
But honestly, if you think about it, wouldn't the intruder find it a bit suspicious that after that "seemingly normal announcement (Yes, because NO ONE would get THAT)", all the classrooms went dark, all the doors and windows closed, and all the students couldn't be seen anymore? Hahah, I know I would, if I were an "intruder"

Haha, it was fun, though, and we missed about 10 minutes of class, so...Win-Win situation, eh? Hahah

Oh, and I got to talk to onii-chan on IM the other night!! Let me tell you, that cheered me up quite a bit ^-^ Haha, even though I should have been doing HW...it was math, which the teacher never checks anyway, so...

And then I felt bad about not being able to talk to my Imooto-chan the day before, because I had to do research and an entire stupid paper for Chem...Let me apologize publicly for that...but I did respond to all her PMs, so I feel a little bit better about that...

Going a bit off-topic here, but...
I had a dream last night, but I only remember bits and pieces of it...But I know it was really good, so I wish I could remember all of it...I remember Alucard-sama...and...a few songs I like...and...my cell phone rang, and I didn't get to it in time, but on the missed calls, it just said "Patrick Stump" O_O What gives...Pete's my guy, not Patrick!! (In case you weren't following this, Pete Wentz and Patrick Stump are members of the band Fall Out Boy, one of my all-time favorite bands - I'm in love with Pete, and Patrick is his best friend, and my best friend used to be in love with Patrick, but she has dreams about Pete...*pout* not fair...)

So....

How does everyone like my avatar - I made it myself! Ahh, I'm so much better at making BGs...That looks really simple...I want to figure out how to make the ones that MOVE O_O That would be so awesome...

Well, anyway, it's time for...

COMMENTS

Magnus-sama - Uwaaah, I'm so glad you're back ^-^ *gently massages head where you hit me* ^.^' I wasn't sure if I was being avoided or what...Oww....Thanks for the compliment on the site, I appreciate it, haha...no, I just couldn't help myself, I'm too addicted to Hellsing and Alucard-sama...*glomps Alucard-sama for the 217th time today* XD

Imooto-chan - Ah, ah, ah, you shouldn't follow my example and be on at school XD Ah, well, if you don't get in as much trouble...Ahahah, I'm tempted to just say "Sorry" now to see how you'll react...*grin* Yeah, I can't help it, I always apologize for everything...ahahah, if someone's drink fell over a million miles away, I'd apologize for that, too XD *covers your mouth* Shhh....You don't know where I live...*hint, hint* It's a rather small state, and not hard to find one person in that place...^.^'

Lytjuh-sama - Yep, I'm sure you could give me great advice...Even if you couldn't, a listening ear and a comforting word is often what I need most ^-^ ...Is it true that when you first start on the happy pills, things get worse before they get better? *worried* Hey now, I don't need an even lower dip...
Haha, yeah, I saw JD-sama's post right after I posted, and I commented about that *grin* Oh, yeah, I remember that whole thing about people twisting your words...I was so angry with them...And you don't need to change a thing ^-^

CloserCloser - Skipping this comment, since I can't answer one-liners very well...

Pharaohess-sama - Haha, yeah, it's a LoveLY Hellsing theme *grin* Ugh, yeah, shrinking everything down, making the font 8 or 9...then you worry if it's readable...T 3T Such a hassle, such a hassle, that's why I love bgs...things can pretty much be as big as you want, haha...Yeah, I know, I almost had a seizure when I found out about Ebisu's VA...>.>' And you're not (that) crazy XD

Onii-chan - Don't worry about not being on very much, I'm rarely on except to read PMs during the week anyway, so...Haha, if I chastised you for that, I would be a hypocrit *grin* Yep, you are my role model, and you set a very good example...except for when you RACE HOME FROM WORK!! XD I know, I know, I promised I'd let that one go...XD hehe, I'll try to behave *grin*

J-chan - Yeah, KT and J called me on Wednesday...they talked for AN HOUR O_O But they said you normally don't talk at lunch...you should talk to them a bit more, they seemed kinda worried about you
Did you hear about Miss A getting a Gastric Bypass? I don't know when, but she's getting one soon....
And being passive means that you let problems go, and you let people walk all over you...agressive means that you scream in people's faces when they give you a problem...ehehe...yeah, no offense, but I'd say you're passive, like me *grin*

Okay, it's question time now!!

1 - Do you believe in destiny?

2 - Everyone seems to be leaving lately. Has anyone close to you left? Are you planning on leaving anytime soon?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1 - This was on Magnus-sama’s site a long time ago…Hope she doesn’t mind my borrowing it ^.^’
Yes, I do believe in destiny. I met my current best friends because I was destined to. I was destined to sit next to Alexa the first day of 7th grade and chat her ear off (normally, I’m too shy to talk to anyone I don’t know, especially on the first day), and I was destined to sit next to Currine on the bus on the first day of 5th grade and decide to talk about my favorite radio station. And it was destiny that J-chan decided to sit across from me in 6th grade. So I believe in destiny very strongly.

2 - I lost Magnus-sama and Tyler55 for a little while, and I almost lost Lytjuh-sama. No, I don’t think I’m going to leave any time soon, because everyone here means a lot to me, and I enjoy coming every day and visiting and changing my theme every now and again, and I love posting here, it’s a great outlet for me ^-^ So none of you have to worry about losing me any time soon ^-^ (If any of you were, that is…^.^’)

Ahh, that's the last of them...my question-well has run dry...so from now on, don't be surprised if some of the questions on my site look vaguely familiar to some of you, I may be....er...borrowing some questions from other sites or from the PMs that my Imooto-chan sends me *grin*

Take care, everyone, I'm going to try to get to sites!!
Ja!
Comments (6)