Sunday, January 16, 2005

   Tales of Senka and Elwood! (tales 11-16)
TALE XI. Pray Senka Doesn't Pick Up

SENKA: Hello?
CALLER: Hello, is this Senka the Shadow Alchemist?
SENKA: That is the name on this phone and that seems to be what people call me, so I think...yes. Yes, I am Senka.
CALLER: If you order today you-
SENKA: Wait, what am I ordering? I never said I was ordering anything!
CALLER: Yes, we're offering a special order on spoons and if you order now-
SENKA: Oooh...spoons. I like spoons.
CALLER: Okay...Well, if you order now, you can get a set of ten for only $9.99!
SENKA: Why would I do that?
CALLER: Excuse me?
SENKA: Why would I order a set of ten spoons for only $9.99?
CALLER: Er, well...I'm being paid to do this, so...
SENKA: You know what?
CALLER: What...?
SENKA: Maybe I don't like spoons. Maybe I don't even have $9.99. Maybe I'm an evil genius who's seriously thinking of turning YOU into spoons because I like spoons.
CALLER: Wha...?
SENKA: That's right, laugh it up...But you won't be laughing now! Mwahhahahahah!
*transmutes caller into spoons via phone line!*
SENKA: heehee...Spoons! ^^



TALE XII. Pray Kousuke Doesn't Pick Up

KOUSUKE: Hm?
CALLER: Hello. Please donate to the military veterans because...
KOUSUKE: Why would I donate money to a government related activity when they want to kill me? That person would have to be a fool.
CALLER: ...your funds will greatly help those who...
KOUSUKE: Who wanna kill me! Are you listening to me?!
CALLER: ...and as a thank you gift, we'll...
KOUSUKE: You'll kill me, that's what you'll do!
CALLER: *click*
KOUSUKE: Hello? Hello?! Hey, you can't hang up on me! I'm one of the blade children!
*blows up the phone*
KOUSUKE: HA! Oh, shoot...



TALE XIII. Pray Elwood Doesn't Pick Up

ELWOOD: Hello?
CALLER: Hello Mr. Sav..in..lax..e...mer...
ELWOOD: Savlaximier.
CALLER: ...Right, sorry. Would you like to order this magizine for only $29.99 a year? That's 12 issues of Anti-Evil Weekly for only-
ELWOOD: Anti-Evil Weekly?
CALLER: Yes, that is right sir. And if you order now, you can have 12 issues for only...
ELWOOD: Hey, wait a minute...!
CALLER: Sir?
ELWOOD: If it's weekly, and the order is for a year...why do I only get 12 issues?! That's only enough for...uh...three months!
CALLER: Um...
ELWOOD: I can't believe this! You were trying to con me! You're selling an anti-evil magazine, but doing evil acts to sell it!
CALLER: Er....sorry?
ELWOOD: Oh, alright. At least you apologized. So is the first 12 free or something?
CALLER: Uh, sure?
ELWOOD: That's nice.
CALLER: So....are you going to order?
ELWOOD: Hm...I guess so.
CALLER: Thank you sir! o_o *click*
ELWOOD: Hey wait a minute...you never got my information! Darn it...I was hoping it would have an anti-Senka spell or something...T_T



TALE XIV. The Quest for Natsume: Part One

SENKA: CURSE YOU NATSUME! I'LL TRANSMUTE THE GAMES MYSELF IF I HAVE TO!
ELWOOD: You alright?
KOUSUKE: Nastume changed the release date to some game she wanted again.
ELWOOD: What game?
SENKA: The Harvest Moon: For Girls version! They must translate it so I can stop scaring people by yelling out that Karen will marry me! NATSUME, HURRY UP DARN IT!
KOUSUKE: Senka, my friend, please settle down. ^^()
SENKA: I...can't...AH! Must...destroy...Natsume...!
KOUSUKE: If you destroy Natsume, then the game will never be made...^^()
SENKA: . . . good point. Then I'll conform them into my slaves and force them to work until the game is complete! Mwahahahahaha!
KOUSUKE: You do that. We'll watch. ^^()
ELWOOD: Uh...o_o;; All this over a video game?
SENKA: Not just ANY video game! The greatest game ever to be made! The life of a farmer knows no end! Mwahhahahahaha!
ELWOOD: uh...o_o()
KOUSUKE: Why don't you play while we wait?
SENKA: . . . Very well. *begins to play Harvest Moon: Friends of Mineral Town*
ELWOOD: So...video games calm her down, eh?
KOUSUKE: Not really.
SENKA: CURSES! I dropped the cucumber!
ELWOOD: I see...But if this "Natsume" completes the games, will she be somewhat silenced?
KOUSUKE: A little, perhaps.
SENKA: Gimme my milk, you stupid cow!
ELWOOD: Where will I find this so-called "Natsume" that sounds like some kind of japanese dish?
KOUSUKE: Look in the phonebook. I'll join you if you find them.
SENKA: Yes my child...take the egg and speak poor english...haha..hahhaha...mwahahahahahaha!
KOUSUKE + ELWOOD: *sweatdrop*
KOUSUKE: please hurry.
ELWOOD: working on it.



TALE XV. The Quest for Natsume: Part Two

ELWOOD: I got it!
KOUSUKE: Good, I'm not sure how much of this I can take!
SENKA: Run Kousuke, run!
KOUSUKE: eh?
SENKA: oh, right, sorry. I named my person Kousuke. ^.^
KOUSUKE: I'm slightly scared. ^.^() Elwood, where is it?
ELWOOD: Underground, in a scary secret liar.
KOUSUKE: How are we supposed to find it?
ELWOOD: Apparently mapquest can still get us directions there.
KOUSUKE: Really? Cool.
SENKA: Stupid chicken! You can no longer be part of my evil army!
ELWOOD: Any...way...to get there, we need to blast a hole down to through approximately 25 feet.
KOUSUKE: alright, time to put these bombs to good use. ^^

*later*
ELWOOD: Let's go.
KOUSUKE: right.
SENKA: Haha! Cliff cannot leave! Mwahhahahahaha!
ELWOOD + KOUSUKE: *sweatdrop*
*They jump down*
ELWOOD: Are you guys the so-called "Natsume"?
NATSUME: Perhaps.
KOUSUKE: Finish those new games...
ELWOOD: ...or else! Trust us, this will hurt a lot less than it would if we had let Senka run loose.
NATSUME: Or else what? We wanna be lazy! *sticks tongue out*
*Senka comes out of nowhere*
SENKA: I came as soon my sheep lost. Now...finish the games or I turn you into a bowl of ramen!
ELWOOD: Senka, there are better ways to settle this...
KOUSUKE: and they involve blowing things up!
NATSUME: We will never complete them! Mwahahahaha!
SENKA: HEY! Only I can evil laugh!
*transmutes them in bowls of ramen*
ELWOOD + KOUSUKE: uh...o_o;;
SENKA: *sigh* Now I have to do it all myself.
*transmutes completely translated version*
*begins to play and eat the ramen*
SENKA: You guys hungry? Yum. ^^
ELWOOD + KOUSUKE: uh...o_o;;
KOUSUKE: I'm gunna...go now...I'll be back...maybe.
ELWOOD: Not without me you don't.
*they run off*
SENKA: *shrugs* Suit yourselves. Yay ramen! Yay Cliff! W00t!


TALE XVI. No Chicken Here!

SERVER: Welcome to Happy Chicken, how may I help you?
SENKA: I'd like some chicken please. ^^
SERVER: I'm sorry, we don't sell chicken before 4 P.M.
SENKA: Huh? ^^
SERVER: No chicken.
SENKA: But I want chicken...
SERVER: Sorry. Can I offer you one of our other great choices?
SENKA: Chicken...
SERVER: Steak? Hot dogs? Hamburgers?
SENKA: I want chicken...
SERVER: I told you, we don't server chicken before 4 P.M.
SENKA: I WANT CHICKEN, DARN IT!
*throws Cyrus at server*
SERVER: Ah! I'm sorry! But we have no chicken for you!
SENKA: Wahhhh!!
*transmutes server into chicken*
SENKA: Yay! ^^ Thank you very much, I'll come again. ^.^
EVERYONE ELSE: o_o;;
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