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Monday, June 6, 2005


   AlliKat!!
I should've stayed outside with her. I really should've..! But on, after walking home for that 45 min walk and now that school was done, I just said some quick words and went inside...

Next thing I know, the phone rings-Alli's cell calling. I pick it up and all I hear is crying with a few mumbles of words. It took me a long time to figure out what was going on, so then I ran outside to Alli. The swing, which is supposed to be able to carry twice Alli's weight, broke when she was singing. I guess she landed on her back because she was complaining her back hurt really bad-worse than when she broke all five bones in her foot!

The only thing I'm good for is enlightening the situation without showing any worry-which is probably why a lot of people get frustrated with me when something bad happens. I got Alli ice to put on her back. She could move, which was good. She also had cuts on her fingers. I had no clue what to do, I kept having flashbacks of when she'd almost ripped her arm off on a swing back when I was like four and had been the one to find her.

Alli had me call mom, who was telling me she was busy but I cut in that Alli got hurt and said what happened, so she started on her way home. When mom got there, she called 911 then she stayed with Alli while I had to go direct the parimedics to her. I couldn't stop shaking. Strange isn't it? They took her away, being extra careful since she could've broken her back or injured her neck. I was so afraid.

My mind is a mess. I feel so useless, and I keep thinking of things I should've done and didn't do. I feel awful. My feet hurt too since I ran out there without shoes; I think I stepped on a stick or something.

I'm worried and freaking out, but also frustrated with myself.

ah....I don't know what to do...

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