Friday, April 21, 2006

I hate my friend. He's such a retard. Okay, me, Eclipse, him, and this other girl were talking, and this girl was saying that her friend saw this one teacher running on the track without a shirt on. This girl thinks this teacher is hot. I can admit he's cute, attractive, but he looks too much like a little boy to be hot. But anyways, so, the second she said that, my friend's like, "Hurhurr, you're picturing that." What the fuck. So I blew up on him. I'm like, "You can't read my mind. It's blank right now. Thanks to you saying sick things that put images in my mind in middle school, I've trained myself to only have images when I WANT them, or TRY to put them there." And he's just like, "Uh-huh." Then we were walking in the hall after that class and lo and behold, that teacher walks by, and after we're out of earshot my stupid friend is like, "Were you picturing him without a shirt on?" You know, there are three points on him (and most men) that are softish and very, very vulnerable. 1) His throat. 2) His stomach. 3) His groin. I typically have the urge to go for the chest, which is in the middle of 1 & 2 and would actually give more satisfaction to break through and rip out his heart, but at that moment, I wanted to plunge my hand into his stomach and rip up anything I found in there. Now what the fuck is up with being friends with people who make me want to disembowel them AT LEAST once a day. At least. If not more. And he mentioned today that I still "owe" him CDs because he gave them to me to burn him Japanese music on. He can shove it. I'm either keeping the CDs, giving them back blank but labeled (so he puts them in his stereo, they don't read, and he's like "What the fuck!"), or burning them with some of the most annoying, crappiest songs I can find on all my CDs. I have a lot of CDs. But one thing is sure. He ain't gettin' more Pierrot. He wouldn't appreciate them, and they need appreciation now that they are no more. He isn't getting L'arc~en~Ciel even though I don't really like most of their stuff, because he doesn't appreciate Hyde. And he sure as hell doesn't appreciate Gackt, either. Gackt is an extremely talented individual, and my friend is just, well... an annoying little asshole. And the more I listen to X Japan, I don't want to give him CDs of theirs, either. Even though they have too much English in their music. No way is he getting Dir en Grey, either. Polysics, we won't even go there. They're crazy, but they're so energetic and everything... You just gotta love them. Orange Range, No. Just because they're too cool, too. Even though, y'know... They're rap. I don't remember what else I put on the mix CD I gave him... Glay... No, just because I discovered that I like more of their music than I thought I did... Um... Lunasea, no, because Lunasea was my favorite band before I discovered Pierrot and also started really liking Gackt... I think that just about covers it. Thanks for helping me justify my not burning him any more CDs. We'll see how he's behaving on Monday. If he pisses me off, he'll be getting blank labeled CDs. ~SJ I hate him.

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Thursday, April 20, 2006

I'm bored. Yep. I did my presentation in English today... Wow it sucked. But I'm done with it now so yay for that. One or two days in English class of sitting there doing nothing. Oh. I have to read half of the Great Gatsby this weekend. Like, 100 pages of incomprehensible shit. I read the first page and was like, "What the fuck?" Good omen for the rest of the book. Plus I have to answer like 600 questions about it. Okay, maybe more like 30. But that's still too many. I'm gonna make up a lot of answers. Yeah. But I got the book Tuesday, read the first page, and decided I'm screwed. I haven't read a word since. I think maybe I'll just skim for answers. Then we get to do Julius Ceaser. Pain. Agony. Mizery. I spelled "miserable" wrong in something for creative writing... I spelled it with a Z instead of an S, and apparently that makes me the shizzle or something.... I spelled it that way because it's the name of a Gackt song... But the kid who called me the shizzle didn't know that. *shrug* Then he proceeded to call Pierrot a bunch of fags. Well, he said they look like fags. He said they look like girls. But then he's like, "That doesn't mean they don't have any good music, cuz I hate Linkin Park as people but they have some pretty good songs..." Well I like Pierrot as people and I love their music, and I am not happy they broke up because now I won't be able to follow them as easily... It'll be like... Kirito, Kohta, and Takeo will probably stick somewhat together, while Aiji and Jun will go *poof* off my stalkage radar and I'll just have to desperately scour the internet for news about what they're up to now. I gotta find some good Pierrot sites with fairly common updates... Lemme amend that. Good ENGLISH Pierrot sites with fairly common updates, and good information. I'm not fluent enough in Japanese, especially not WRITTEN Japanese (all those damn kanji), to follow stuff well. Anyways, so, my mother ordered pizza... Piza o tabete tsumori desu. So, whatever. ~SJ Na no da.

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Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Gah.

Pierrot disbanded a week ago today. I only found out yesterday, and I almost cried, cuz the post I read it in was so solemn... It made it seem like the end of the world. But then I read some other stuff, stuff Kirito said and such, and though that was upsetting too, because I really like Kirito and he seemed upset, he also said that him, Kohta, and Takeo are going to keep trying to do something together. They won't replace Jun and Aiji, though... (What kind of music can you make with just bass, drums, and vocals, though?) But there's still their solo work... I'm gonna try to keep track of them... At least Kirito and Kohta, because I liked them best, and I'll try to keep after Aiji too, because he's a great guitar player and I can understand his feelings somewhat (that doesn't make me feel a whole lot better that Pierrot broke up, but I'm not angry). Anyways, they were together for twelve years. They have a lot of great music and I've only got two of their CDs. I will continue to search out and buy their stuff, and I'll do my best to see what becomes of everyone... *sigh* It's upsetting, but, as I always say, these things happen. Glad I'm wasn't a rabid fan, or else I probably would have had a breakdown and thrown up blood or something when I found out. As it was, I don't know if I can speak about it out loud yet... I told my mother last night, I was like, "My day kinda sucked today... Cuz I just found out... Pierrot broke up last week..." and I felt like I was about to choke. A lot of things have been getting emotional reactions out of me lately and I don't much appreciate it. But Pierrot breaking up is worth the freaking out, and me not being able to sleep until 12:30 last night, and me nearly biting off my mother's face when she interrupted me when I was reading Kirito's message... ~SJ ...Pierrot... *sniffle*

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Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Hey, miss girl is very fond of her child. ...Dir en Grey. I've suddenly hit a Dir en Grey thing. I still like Gackt more, and Pierrot, but they're all different music styles, so I like them all equally in their own ways... I feel stupid cuz I never realized that Neogrotesque had a really cool guitar part while Kirito is singing the line about "shounen shoujotachi" whatever blahdeeblah... I've listened to the song 600 times and haven't memorized the lyrics yet! *GASP!* I take that back. If I'd actually bothered trying to think of it, I probably could have. buchikiresou na yabasugiru shounenshoujotachi yo bake no kawa nugisute kimochi yoku nacchaou ze dare ni nanto iwaretatte ii daro kataku kangaezu ari no mama aishiaou (No, I didn't type that as he sang it, I pulled up my lyrics...) But anyways, it has a cool guitar part. Or at least, I like it. And I like the guitar at the beginning of Dorakyura (Dracula). Otherwise... I snapped at my best friend today... I told her she's been pissing me off lately, then proceeded to ignore her for about five or ten minutes until I'd calmed down... Of course it was in Japanese class, where I can't really get away from her or ignore her cuz there's only three people in the room, and me and her are two of them... Anyways... I have to present my english thingy tomorrow. Jeezus. She gave us the rubric she's gonna be grading us with... there's a lot of shit on there, and I'm looking at it, and I'm so screwed. But it's only 20 points. So, really, I'm not that bad off even if I bomb it. So I'm not really worried, because I know worrying isn't gonna make my presentation any better. I just had a random Shuuichi moment in my brain... We'll just forget that happened. Did I tell you about my friend that I burned a j-rock mix for even though I cringe to think of him liking Gackt and Pierrot and Hyde, because my friend makes me cringe, period. Wait, that was a question. Okay. ? There. Anyways, did I tell you about him? Well, I burned him that CD and gave it to him Wednesday and lo and behold, today he's like, "I LOVE VANILLA!" and I'm making choking faces behind his back. And before lunch, I told my best friend, "If he says 'Gackt' once at lunch, I'm going to kill him." Sure enough, his greeting: "Hi! ...GACKT!" I was like, "YAY, I GET TO SLAUGHTER YOU NOW!" He also gave me more blank CDs, so when he was pissing me off at lunch, I was like, "Shut up or I'm keeping those CDs." and he's like, "NOOO!" Then continued to annoy me, so I told him I'm keeping the CDs and he flipped. Then this other girl was being annoying too, and I was like, "Goddammit! I'm keeping his CDs, and slitting YOUR throat with them!" And she laughed so hard she spit on my face. That really endeared her to me, lemme tell you. Anyways, if you didn't look at and vote on both the pictures I posted yesterday, please do that. It's upsetting that one of them turned out looking like Kohta from Pierrot. I really didn't intend for him to, but oh well. Such is life and all that shit. ~SJ It's okay. I like Kohta. I just didn't want Kay to look like him. GO LOOK AND VOTE! SEE AND OPINIONATE! COMMENT (as long as it's constructive *coughcough*).

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Monday, April 17, 2006

GO LOOK AT MY ART. Thank you. On other topics, I was gonna say something else here but I don't remember what. Have a nice day. ~SJ I posted earlier today. It's right below this one. read it please. yonde kudasai. ...yomanakereba narimasen.

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waaaaa!

There's good news! I DREW A PICTURE! YAYAYAYAYAYA!!! It might not be very good, but it's the best thing I've drawn since January. It's posted. It's of one of my characters, Kay. I like Kay. Lol. He's an albino. Anyways, so, that's good news. Also, I changed my video of the week today instead of yesterday cuz I was only on the internet for like an hour or so yesterday cuz it was easter and stuff... Not like anybody WATCHES my video of the week... More good news is, I slept from 2 AM until 11 AM... I SLEPT UNTIL 11!!! That's so excellent. I've been waking up at 9:15-10:00 all weekend... Bad news is, I gotta go to school tomorrow. Good news is, only 33 days left and one is two hours. Bad news, I can't learn guitar because the only guitar I have officially SUCKS. Good new, um. There isn't really any good news to go with that. Maybe the good news is, I can devote my time to playing piano instead? That'll be easier and harder in some ways than guitar. I know where the keys are on the piano. But I can't read bass clef. Oh well. I also want to learn drums. But those would be more difficult than piano OR guitar, because I don't have any drums. Lol. Anyways. So. Look at my picture. Happy late easter. Watch the video of the week. It's my favorite Pierrot song. ~SJ Neogrotesque. *drool*

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Saturday, April 15, 2006

Well, my visual for english is just gonna be a poster with a bunch of random shit glued to it--assuming my printer doesn't run out of ink, in which case I guess I'm screwed. Oh well. I'm about tired of this 'research paper' shit... I'm glad I'm doing my presentation on the first day so I can get it over with. At the same time, I hate that I'm not gonna be able to observe people doing theirs so I have some idea what to do, because I'm basically fucked up the ass for my presentation. I've never presented something like this before. Uugggh... Fucked. Up the ass. That seems to be happening to me a lot lately. Oh well. Guess what. Easter is tomorrow. *cringe* Guess what else. I forget. But guess what else! I'm totally uninspired for everything. Art, writing, everything. IT SUCKS. ~SJ SUCK.

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Um, I'm writing a post at 12:32 AM and I have no idea why... Maybe if I talk about schoolwork I can piss some people off and have an entertaining comment-box war to read tomorrow. I have homework I haven't done. I don't know what kind of visual I can do for my paper. I think it's stupid we have to have a visual to start with. I have to talk about treatment of the mentally ill for five minutes on Wednesday and I've never talked in front of people before like that. I'm fucked up the ass. And it don't feel good. Man! My friend's mother said that me and my friend (her daughter) have a strange obsession with gayness. I so do not have an obsession with gayness. I have a fascination with the unusual... And happen to think that two hot guys fucking isn't such a bad thing. I'm okay with gays, but really don't want to think about it if it's like, two fat guys, or two atrociously ugly guys, or old guys, or anything to that effect. And I don't care to think much about lesbians, either. So I guess I'm okay with gays but prejudiced as to who should be gay. Or something to that effect. Lol. Anyways. Then I was accused of being obsessed with pretty boys. I couldn't disagree on that one. I like pretty guys, is it my fault? I want to go to Japan because they have pretty guys like Hyde and Gackt and Kirito. America has hotties, Japan has... pretties. (The line from the Wizard of Oz came into my head...) Anywho, so, I need sedatives. I'm tired and I want to write but I'm tooooo LAAAAZZZZYYYYY and uninspired. The 'uninspired' factor holds a lot more influence than does the 'lazy' factor... I woke up this morning with a song in my head. That in itself is odd. When I realized it was a Gackt song that I'd only heard for the first time the previous day, that was even stranger. And now, it's playing on my WMP... You gotta love Gackt. Another couple YAY GACKT things to add to the list: He has pets, a dog and a cat. He can juggle (to some extent, I don't know how well. I saw pictures of him juggling on the set of Moon Child, lol). So, yay for juggling pet-owning pretty Japanese singers. I'm swaying back and forth at nearly 1 AM. I really need to stop because it's gonna make me more tired than I already am. This music is like a lullaby kindof. It's nothing like one, but it's got a rhythm I can sway to. Thus, a lullaby. I'm lulling myself a-by to sleep... I'm leaving. ~SJ netai desu... ugh...

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Thursday, April 13, 2006

*heavy sigh* Man. I'm bored. I should be thinking up some idea for my whole 'english visual' thing... But I kinda gave up on that and am gonna throw it together last minute, like, sunday or monday, or even moreso, Tuesday, when I have to present Wednesday. What the hell can I do to visualize "Treatment of the mentally ill" anyways?! Goddammit! Stupid whore-lady. I hates her. I wonder if she'll take points off for "filler words." Of course she will. So I'm basically screwed. However many points we automatically get for going up there, that's probably all I'll get. Like, 2 out of 20. Yay. Ambitious of me, no? Oh. My. God. I just picked up an earth worm that had to be over a foot long stretched out... But it got freaked when I touched it and bunched itself all up and was only about three and a half inches long, but super-slimey, and when I put it down, it looked like I'd just had a really bad cold and sneezed on my hands. It was one of the singlemost nastiest things ever. But I've had worse. Well, that'll be my exciting event for the day. Oh, guess what. This is freaky. Okay. I was writing yesterday, and I needed a name, and I'm terrible with names so I just kinda picked one that was vaguely based on 'Kay' (the name of my main character, whose name comes from Kei from Moon Child)... Yeah. I randomly picked "Mey" off the top of my head... Then later I randomly discovered some Gackt bio in which it said he has a cat, and its name is Mey. What the fuck! I had no idea he had pets, let alone that one was named Mey, but that just happened to be the name I randomly think of, then totally coincidentally find out later that day that it's the name of his cat! How freaky is that. Pretty freaky. Now. I'm gonna go put lotion on because I washed my hands two or three times with steaming water and soap after touching the dirty slimey worm. ~SJ My sister pointed out today that "gackt" sounds kind of like a swear when you say it angrily...

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Wednesday, April 12, 2006

FIVE DAY BREAK!!! WOOHOOO!!! Of course, during it, I have to do worksheets for math, a packet for world cultures, and create a visual for my presentation in english on Wednesday. Goddammit. How do you create a visual for "not enough treatment for the mentally ill"? Bring in a schizophrenic who hasn't been treated and watch them? Be like, "This is the result of not enough being done about the mentally ill. I found this guy eating out of the dumpster behind Pizza Hut. How gross is that?" And he'll be like, chasing invisible things around the room or something... Anyways. I'm listening to happy music from Inuyasha. It's kinda blah. Is it bad that I'm less girly than my guy friend even when I've got makeup on and my nails painted? He somehow manages to be more of a girl than I am. It's so annoying. I burned him a J-Rock mix CD, and I have a feeling that any time I mention Gackt now, he'll be like, "I LOVE GACKT. GACKT IS SO GREAT. I LOVE GACKT!" And I'll call him a queer little homo... Because he is, dammit. But he's just so... well, my mother used the term 'eager to please.' I think he only wanted the j-rock CD because he wants to be more like me. He thinks that if he showers Gackt and Pierrot and all my favorite things in praise, I'll like him better, or we'll have more things in common and be better friends or something... All it does is kinda make me want to choke. And like, he "broke up" with his "girlfriend" (it was one of those relationships that clearly meant nothing, because they never even held hands, and they broke up through a note)... she wrote him a note saying that he acted like me and my best friend too much and she didn't know how to act around that, but when he wasn't around us, he was a really sweet guy. That means a few things. 1) He feels like he has to act differently around his friends for them to like him 2) He's full of shit Then when I said something about that, he's like, "I love acting like you guys! I have more fun with you guys than I've ever had with any of my other friends, ever! I mean--" At this point I stopped listening because I hate when he goes all "I LOVE BEING FRIENDS WITH YOU!" girly on me... But this also means (or "could mean"): 3) He's intentionally acting like us to "impress" us, and therefore he doesn't really have a personality of his own 4) I hate people who don't have personalities of their own. I ought to slap him around a little bit. Then again, it's likely I wouldn't like his "real" personality either. I'm just hell-bent on NOT liking him. The other day, someone said that me and him should date, and I said, "Like HELL." and they're like, "Why not?" I told them that he missed his chance on dating me, and when they didn't seem to know what I meant, I said, "In middle school, I would have agreed. But now, I wouldn't." He looked at me with these big wide eyes... Probably because I admitted that I would have dated him in middle school, but half the world knew that, and so did he, so I don't know why he looked at me like that. I should have put my fingernails through his eyeball sockets. Well. My violence factor needs to tone it down a bit. Actually, it doesn't. I'm gonna go write. ~SJ Paaaaain. Mmmmm.

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