Tuesday, April 11, 2006

I finished my english paper. Paatii o shimashou. Now I can have a LIFE again. I have to write some stuff for creative writing, though, so... fun? Notsomuch. I barely know my character, so I was talking to him for a little bit on my calculator. He's nice. But he is a little bit of a victim, y'know? He had one really traumatic episode, and now he's really edgy all the time. It's kind of pathetic, but understandable and justified. Anyways, I have to get to know him a little, then write a scene... *shrug* The only real problem is thinking of a scene. My problem is, I have to give my characters a little background before I can write anything worth shit. The result is a dozen disjointed scenes that don't really connect, but the character develops. I refer to it as "raising my child." I told somebody in English today, "Since I'm done with my paper, I'm gonna go have a baby... well, not really, but I've got to raise him..." She thinks I'm crazy, cuz she's not a creator like I am. I think even my best friend thinks I'm crazy, because she never talks about her writing. She's not as adept and devoted as I am. SHE HASN'T HAD AS MANY CHILDREN AS I HAVE! AND SHE DOESN'T TALK TO THEM ON HER CALCULATOR LIKE I DO!!! I love them so... Anyways, I have to go do that, as well as choose which songs I want to put on my j-rock "sampler CD"... which I am distributing to a few people to spread the J-Rock wrath. ~SJ WRATH!

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Monday, April 10, 2006

I'm bored, no one's on MSN, and I have received zero emails today. How depressing. So, I'm gonna write another post. I have decided that some advice my sister and I got from some old guy one time is very accurate. It's about art, so you artsy people, read closely. In a drawing of an living creature, everything is about the eyes. Eyes communicate everything. So, if your drawing basically stinks, but you have really beautiful, effective, expressive eyes drawn, you can catch a helluva lot of attention with those. Honestly. Keep that in mind. Eyes truly are the window to the soul. I haven't been able to draw anything for months, but I want to draw eyes. The character I just created has interesting eyes, so I want to draw them. Maybe I'll finally post something. Last time I posted was like, January something. Jezus. Anyways, onwards. About my character... He got gang-banged and it effected him deeply, so now a couple of my other characters (from totally unrelated worlds) are calling him a pussy. Not to his face, and I'd better keep the little fact quiet from him, or else he might have a breakdown. And we all know breakdowns are BAD. Especially when I need the little bastard for a story due Wednesday. I need to write that today so I can just listen to music in class tomorrow and Wednesday, and say I'm doing useful stuff. ^_^ I'm a good student. Model student. Okay, list of J-rock bands and singers I listen to/like: Gackt Pierrot Moi Dix Mois Megumi Ogata Malice Mizer Glay L'arc~en~Ciel MOVE Lunasea Orange Range Dir en Grey X Japan Polysics That's all. I'm making a "j-rock sampler CD" for a few of my friends and am in need of recommendations of which songs to use. ~SJ A summary of this post: eyes are important in art, i have mental issues, please recommend songs of the above bands that you think will get people hooked on j-rock.

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Somebody asked me today why I bother being different, or something to that effect. I told him it's because I enjoy getting the reactions out of people that I do. And that's part of it. The other part of it is, "different" is just who I am. I should have said, "So you'll ask me stupid questions like that." He said that even though I try to be different, it eventually catches on and isn't strange anymore. I dunno why he randomly decided to tell me this today, maybe cuz I was wearing a girl shirt, but that's not the point. I wasn't trying to be different. I never try. I just am. Anywho, I don't want to get people on my case saying, "You're pathetic with your attempts to differentiate yourself from the rest of us, you're just one more pathetic sobby little high school girl." So, I'll change the subject. Hmm... I see a squirrel! It's outside the window and it's CUTE! Oh, my neice is smart, apparently. While I was at my dad's, she was here, and my mother asked her where the fishies were, and she pointed at the fish tank and said "ook dere" (look there). Wow. So she's not stupid. All she needs is proper training, which she'll hopefully get. My friend's paper was on human trafficking ("modern slavery"), and I was reading it thinking, "Damn, if I ever wanted to get into some illegal dealings, I'd do this!" Then I got to the part where it said they can get 20 years to life, as well as fines and all their property taken away, assuming they're caught, and I just kinda stared at it then said, "Twenty years is a long time." And my friend's like, "Yeah, but they're selling people! blah blah blah!" and I was like, "Uh-huh." Thinking, "Damn. Well, you could always just not get caught..." Oh, come on. You can't tell me that with the temptation of millions of dollars a year, you wouldn't consider illegal actions. People do worse for less. But I'm sure I'll become a good, upstanding citizen of whereever I live in the future. Right? Right. Now you all are probably gonna report me to authorities... be like, "This internet chick says she's gonna traffic little boys to older men for porn!" and the SWAT team will show up at my house, and I'll be like, ah fuck. Then I'll hunt you down and disembowel you. I told a kid that I would disembowel him, and he's like, "Why? Do you want to touch my rectum?" EWWWWW! He also asked HOW I would do it and I'm like, "Uh. With a knife." I would have said with my hands, but then he would have made some other sick crack... Then I said, "Or would you rather I castrated you?" He told me I'd have to talk to his girlfriend about that. She's told me before that if I killed him, she would try kill me, but castration is another issue entirely... I forgot to ask her about it in English. Damn. Anyways, I only have a day and a half left before a five-day "spring break" so YAY for that. ~SJ I don't think I said anything much worth conflict or insults in this post, but we'll see.

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Sunday, April 9, 2006

Guess WHAT! I'm back. You didn't even notice I was gone, cuz you all HAA-AAATE ME! Yay. Anyways, I was at my dad's. I ate more there in two days than I have in the past week. I went to Subway for dinner on Friday, the Olive Garden for dinner last night, and Bob Evans for breakfast this morning... Normally I get by on no breakfast, very, very, very little lunch, and notsomuch dinner. It makes me wonder how come I'm not anorexic-skinny. Anyways, so, I bought some shit at hot topic, and I bought some stuff for my hamster, and otherwise, did very little. Exciting way to spend the weekend. I watched Comedy Central while I wasn't at the mall or various other places, which wasn't very long. Let's see. Well, I have to finish my paper. I read my friend's paper, and decided it's 15 pages of SHIT. HAHA. He's lucky it's not getting graded much on content, or he'd be faaaa-ailing! Haha. Anyways, I know you all love me, and missed me, and other stuff, I hope your lives haven't caused you vast amounts of stress what with all your college work and homework work and I hope you all still have full heads of hair and haven't pulled it all out since your lives are so stressful compared to mine, but if not, and you've all gone bald, well, you could always wear a wig... ~SJ I haven't talked much for two or three days so I feel kinda... happy... since I finally have a computer now again and all... And we all know, when I'm happy, I'm a bitch.

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Thursday, April 6, 2006

  

Wow. If I'm useless for everything else, at least I know how to stir up a conflict. Damn, you people ALL get so worked up! It's kinda funny. For those of you defending me, I appreciate it. For those of you saying I'm a whiney bitch, well. I'm not comparing my life to yours, am I? I'm saying, this is my life, this is how it is, and this is how I don't like it. Not, "you have a 42 page paper assigned today, due tomorrow, and I've had a month and a half to write a five page paper, but MY LIFE SUCKS MORE THAN YOURS!!! HA HA!" I'm kinda getting sick of the "your life is easy compared to college" lectures, and the "your life is easy compared to my life" lectures. I don't recall ever saying anything was difficult for me. I just recall saying that I had a lot to do and didn't want to do it. Things to that effect. Not, "OH. MY. GOD. THIS MATH HOMEWORK IS SOOOOOOO DIFFICULT. I AM GOING TO STRESS UNTIL I'M BALD AND ANOREXIC! BECAUSE THESE TEN ADDITION PROBLEMS MAKE MY LIFE SOOOOO MUCH MORE DIFFICULT THAN YOURS. OH. MY. GOD." It seems anytime I mention school, I get two certain people commenting, then a third person comments and causes a forth person to comment and bitch at the other three... then they all bitch back at her... Whenever I see comments number is more than three, I assume I've caused another comment-box conflict. Really. It's a comments box. Not the Roman freakin' Colliseum. Put your guns and daggers away and LOVE EACH OTHER! Or if your lives are so difficult with all your homework and stress, go work on your homework instead of telling me you've got it harder than me. Now if you'll pardon me, I'm gonna eat some spaghetti. ~SJ Love.

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Wednesday, April 5, 2006

I have a bunch of crap to do tonight. Am I working on it? It may not seem like I am, and that's because, well, because I'm not. I have my english paper to write, a japanese thingy to write, math homework, something to tape for creative writing (and a script to type for it first), and i have a test tomorrow in driver's ed over vocab I've never looked at before, without a word bank. This week sucks! And, plus, my friend accidentally punched my in the jaw, and my first thought was, "I hope it bleeds." I'M SO SICK AND I HAVE NO CONTROL OVER IT! *cries* Apparently there was a little blood, but it wasn't enough to taste, and again, I was disappointed. God damnit. I'm so screwed up in the head. One quick question for: Not Listening If you're sick of me obsessing over Gackt and Kirito, and it seems every time you comment it's only to say you're sick of my stupidity... Why do you persist to read my posts? That's all. ~SJ Incidentally, I cleared up the MSN issue. I created a new account and put in my birth year as 1986. I'm 19 now.

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Tuesday, April 4, 2006

MSN is fucking up. I want to kill it. It says I'm a child and need parental permission to sign in. What the fuck is up with that? I've had a hotmail account for like, years. Damn internet. And none of you people commented on my last post to recommend CDs, so I hate you all a little bit right now because I feel like putting my foot through a glass wall, but I can't do that, so I'm just gonna bitch at anyone nearby. Kick the nearest dog (figuratively). That sort of thing. MSN IS SHIT. ~SJ SHIT.

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Sunday, April 2, 2006

  

I don't want to work on my english paper but the rough draft is due on Tuesday. I am so damn tired there is no end to it. I only got about five hours of sleep last night. I was awake for like, 20 hours or something, whereas usually I hate to be awake for 15... I'd woke up at 7:30 and was awake until 5 (with the time change, so it was really only from 7:30 to 4, which is like, 19 1/2 hours. Too many.) Okay, so, in order to procrastinate, I've been looking up J-rock bands on amazon to see what they have... Amazingly, I didn't look up Gackt... But I did look up Pierrot, Malice Mizer, Moi Dix Mois, and Dir en Grey. If anyone has any of these bands' CDs, please feel free to make recommendations (I know a few of the people who visit my page are rabid Dir en Grey fans). As for Malice Mizer, I found their CD "Beast of Blood" for like, $15, but i was reading the reviews and it said something about Gackt having left... Does he not do the vocals on that CD? I might buy it even if he doesn't, just because it's not that expensive and it has like, 21 tracks apparently (only three were listed with titles, the rest said "Japanese title" or something), and I like Malice Mizer's darkness... Apparently Moi Dix Mois (How do you pronounce that, anyways? Anyone here take French?) is like, the solo project of somebody from Malice Mizer... Strange how these things are connected. I like Gackt, so I look up Malice Mizer. I like Moi Dix Mois, so I look them up, and it turns out they are the brainchild of someone from Malice Mizer, which was Gackt's band before he went solo... As for Pierrot and Dir en Grey, well, I don't know anything about Dir en Grey, but Pierrot has been the same members for about 10 years or so, so they don't fit in there anywhere. Speaking of Pierrot, I'm on youtube watching the "Neo Dramatic Anniversary" video (mostly just listening to the song, I watched the video through once and now it's just in the background)... About two-thirds/three-fourths of the way through, Aiji has this kick-ass guitar solo... I love it. I would sooo give to be able to play guitar that well. Speaking of guitar, I have practiced just about, oh, once in the past two weeks. So much for that. Honestly. I'm just tired most of the time and I have ADD and I can't stand to play "KumBahYah" 42000 times... I hate all the music in that book and none of it makes me want to play guitar. What does make me want to play guitar is Pierrot. Aiji and Jun and Kohta (I know, he's bass, but it's a guitar, isn't it?). So when I whip out my guitar and it sucks so much ass (IT DOESN'T STAY IN TUNE FOR THIRTY SECONDS!!!!!!!!!!!) and I suck at playing it, it's very frowniful. But, I think in addition to attempting to lose 10 or 15 pounds this summer, perhaps getting a job, and working on my novel (which has gone no where for weeks, by the way, and the fanfics hit another brick wall too), I'm gonna really work on guitar. Yes. I shall. Honestly. I'm going to my dad's this weekend. Maybe there's somewhere down there that I can buy guitar music. I'll ask him if he knows, then we'll go... I'm probably gonna blow all my money down there in one day... It depends on where I go and what they have, really, but if we go places that have stuff I want, guess what! Yay. Damn. I'm tired. I haven't done shit for my research paper, and I am SO going to bed at 9:30 tonight... I feel like just laying down right now, laying there until I fall asleep, then waking up in the morning or afternoon, and if I feel like it, I'll get up, but if not, I won't. Getting up when you wake up is expected of you, but sometimes I'd really like to just lay there. Like, this morning, I just wanted to lay there all day. I knew today was gonna be a shitty day before I even got out of bed. I knew it was a gonna be a shitty day when I woke up and looked at my clock and it said 10-something, telling me I'd only slept for 5 hours. I knew it would be a shitty day. TODAY IS A SHITTY DAY. ~SJ~ Recommend me CDs. I want music.

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Saturday, April 1, 2006

  

I went to my friend's house today and had fun filming something. YAY! She played a fortuneteller and I was a vampire, and she read my fortune, then got fed up and shot me. We have a blooper reel in which many amusing things are put... Such as, me forgetting my line and substituting "Your mom." Then, even funnier, my friend was saying something, and she was supposed to say, "according to your palm" but she said "according to your mom." It was so great. I'm gonna treasure this little project forever. It's so endlessly amusing. I should write more skits for me and Eclipse to act out. What joyous fun it was... AND NEXT I GET TO SHOW IT IN FRONT OF MY CREATIVE WRITING CLASS! YAY! That ought to turn out well... Anyways, onwards... Now I have to work on my research paper. I have a rough draft due on Tuesday. That means I have tonight, tomorrow, and Monday night to work on it. I'm gonna do a little tonight, then more tomorrow, and if I'm not done, I'll do some monday... but I ain't doin' any of it in class. Fuck that. By tenth period I just feel like sitting down, putting in my headphones, and listening to Pierrot. I love Pierrot... I'm wearing a leather coat and it's COMFY! I love leather. I was wearing pleather pants all day... They were comfy. And knee-high boots. They were comfy. And a crapload of eyeliner... I looked stoned. YAY STONES! Polished stones, and big stones, and small stones, and round stones, and rough stones, and KIDNEY STONES! We're done. ~SJ I'm leaving now.

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WHY DON'T THEY HAVE A CRYING SMILEY? Damn useless "mood" icons... Sorry, I'm reliving "Moon Child" in my mind. For those of you that have seen it, you know what I'm talking about. For those of you that haven't seen it, I loved it dearly even though parts made my eyes leak a little bit. I'm trying to look at it from the perspective of, "Gackt wrote this movie, or co-wrote it, at least, so... What does this say about him?" That isn't working out. I'm not a good enough psychoanalysist to be able to tell what a person's heart is like just from watching a movie they wrote. But he's a very good actor, if you ask me. And my mother watched a very short segment of the movie and made the establishment that Gackt doesn't SOUND like a girl, and in that movie, he didn't look like one either. See, he can look like a normal person [in leather pants] if he wants too. Ha! Just like, if I wanted to put any effort into my image, I'm sure I could make myself look feminine! Isn't that great? Well, I'm gonna go zone out in a corner someplace. ~SJ *enjoying certain segments of the movie again in her mind*

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