Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Man, I'm so behind on Fullmetal Alchemist... Everybody's all, "So-and-so DIED! and I thought such-and-such died, and so-and-so did this!" And I'm back there going, "Wait, they found the Philosopher's Stone? Last thing I saw was something with Edward and Scar, and Edward had brown hair and saw that Rose chick..." I know, that was like two months ago or something... I've been taping it every week, but I haven't watched a single episode since Christmas or so... SO! Today I'm gonna NOT get back on the computer after dinner, and I'm gonna go back and watch as many episodes as I can. I'm debating on not setting my alarm tomorrow (I have to think thru my schedule, but I don't think I'm doing anything important tomorrow. Due to standarized testing for the juniors, I've done nothing all week so far)... so, if I "sleep in" on "accident" (or by accident, if you're an english buff...), well, then, I guess I'll stay home and watch Fullmetal Alchemist and such... I just ate two chocolate covered pretzels and a chocolate bar... I just at 17+6 grams of fat... 23? I suppose if I was a "normal" girl I'd be like, "OMIGOD 23!!!" But me, being me, I'm like, "Is twenty-three a lot?" Is twenty three a lot? Considering, I mean, usually I don't eat much and have lost between five and ten pounds since the beginning of school (which has been seven months, but still. Lost anything is better than gaining anything)... Anyways, I'm gonna occupy myself with minesweeper, mp3 downloads, and my babies... My number of children just seems to be increasing exponentially as the days go on... Me and this other girl adopted a boy who is 17 and we're both 16... Apparently I'm the one who gave birth to him... But none of it makes sense. See? 1) I'm straight and so is she 2) He's older than us 3) We ADOPTED him, therefore I couldn't have given birth 4) We're both his mothers, but if I gave birth to him, who's the father? But since I didn't give birth to him, it makes perfect sense, but we didn't just adopt him-- See, it's a vicious circle of nonsense. ~SJ "What do you want for Christmas?" "...Your mom!"

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Tuesday, March 21, 2006

TE form song (for the group 1 and irregular verbs) Oh, mi ni bi, oh mi ni bi, mi ni bi to nde! Oh, i chi ri, oh i chi ri, i chi ri to tte! ki to ite gi to ide shi to shite and kite, shite Oh, mi ni bi, oh mi ni bi! Now we know our te forms!!! To be sung to the tune of "Oh Christmas Tree" I found this in my Japanese textbook. I recall back a while ago when it was assigned as an extra credit assignment to sing it... *shakes head* How frightening. I, of course, didn't do it. But hey, now you all just learned something about converting/conjugating verbs in Japanese. It means nothing to you if you don't speak the language or know nothing to very little about it, but that's your loss... On to more important issues, my attention span was tried today... In math, I sat and watched these guys play chess. It was entertaining, but not enough so as to keep me entertained. The next period, I was supposed to "revise" something. Ha ha. I starting making flash cards, got bored, did a free write, traded music with my best friend, did a few more flash cards, was thoroughly bored. Then I proceeded on to English class, where I had to make notecards, which was--you guessed it!--thoroughly boring. But lunch was entertaining today... Apparently my friend is going to rape my other friend, then slit her throat and "jizz" in the wound. When he said that, I thought of that Slipknot song where he screams, "I'M GONNA SLIT YOUR THROAT AND FUCK THE WOUND!!!" I haven't listened to Slipknot in months upon months, but go figure I still remember that one line... *sigh* Because it scarred me mentally every time I heard it... Let's see... I could go off again, and end up being a firebreathing goldfish or something this time instead of a mentally ill toad, but, well, I only got one comment on my mentally ill toad post, so I figure everyone hates me, and I ain't gonna treat you to more of my crazy ideas... Fire soul bird in love, fire soul bird in love, random Japanese shit, fire soul bird in love, fire soul bird in love, more japanese shit, I love passion. Name that tune! It's from Sailor Moon. *snicker* I've never watched Sailor Moon, but I download random music when I feel like it and I got this one... It's entertaining. Especially where it says "Come on. Right here." And "I love passion." I bet it's not really an innocent song... Just like Gackt's song "Vanilla"... motto, hayaku! I should just start saying that to people... GO up to some random guy that I'm on slightly good terms with, slam my hands down on his desk, and go, "Motto... hayaku..." He probably wouldn't realize it's Japanese, and he'd be like, "Wtf?" And I would just walk away laughing. Not to mention I just love the way he says it in the song, so it's not like I'd be making sexual allusions or whatever just for the pure hell of confusing people and being a pervert at the same time... Next time I'm feeling vaguely obscene I'll probably do that... Heh heh... The fact that no one can understand it makes my life all that much more fun. "aishitemoiikai? Yureru yoru ni..." Heh heh... "yureru yoru ni" is a sexual thing too... Gackt. Gotta love him. Then there's Pierrot... The song "GOD BLESS XmeXXXX"... The first stanza or whatever, it says something about "it's easy to play the victim"... the translator's notes on the site I read it on said that that was a reference to the way Bush handled the 9/11 attacks... Ooooohhhhh, BURNED! Speaking of Bush, did you know he currently has the lowest approval rate of any president ever? EVER! BUSH SUCKS MOST OF ALL PRESIDENTS EVER! Let's think of the other presidents we've had... Oh, um, Nixon? People liked Nixon more than they like Bush and NIXON GOT IMPEACHED! Or would have, and resigned, or whatever. He was a sonofabitch, but people liked him more than they like Bush. Hahahaha, take that monkey-man! I can say this stuff, but if the government saw the need to snoop around on a site for anime-obsessed teenagers to gush about their lives, I'm sure they'd find this and arrest me as a threat to national security... Oh my god, I'm pointing out facts! I must be plotting to assassinate the man! Arrest me! Put me in a mental institution for the unmentally ill! I'm done. ~SJ

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Sunday, March 19, 2006

Baaaa. I am a sheep. Guess what? I must be mentally ill, because I laugh when no one is around. Seriously! In one of the things I read for my research paper, it said there was some girl they thought was mentally ill because she laughed when no one was around. I must be very mentally ill, cuz I laugh when no one else is around. I laugh when other people are around but there's nothing obvious to laugh at. Usually it's something one of my characters is doing/saying... OH! Good news! For me, at least. I reread everything I've written with my precious pet/baby bounty hunter, and I feel like writing him again. I love him so much. He's so funny, and such a jackass. It all goes back to my love for smartass guys. PIIHYANA, PIIHYANA, PAPAPARAPA! I'm really bored. Zettai, zettai! Sorry, I'm listening to really happy songs... Okashi no Uta, Odoru Ponpokorin, Zettai Part 2... You know, for my research paper, writing is gonna be a pain in the ass. I think it's gonna be like 10 pages long. Actually, the only problem I'm gonna have is getting my thoughts in some sort of coherent order. Thus, an outline. I'm more worried about what I'm gonna say to the class when I have to do my oral presentation. "Um, well, mental illnesses are treated with medication, therapy, ECT, other such shit... There's controversy over who should be allowed to determine when a person is mentally ill, and there's controversy over forcing people to get treatment, and there's controversy over other stuff, and basically this is a really controversial topic, and it made me take that final step towards deciding that I really must have some mental illness. Incidentally, that's a bad thing. I'm gonna go sit down now." Then I'd go sit down in the corner where my seat is and rock back and forth muttering. They would send me to guidance. Guidance would send me to the nearest mental institution. They would take me in for a period of observation. I would live there for the rest of my life because when they medicated me, I would melt into a little puddle on my bed and drool all over the place and secrete some kind of toxic goo from my pores, like a frog. Well I guess if I did that, then they'd send me to the government and say, "Hey, this psycho chick here has a toxic reaction to this kind of medication." So I'd be forced to undergo extensive tests, and would virtually become a mindless, drooling, toxin-secreting drone. It would be bad. They would tell me it was for the betterment of science. I would secrete all over them. They would die. I would laugh. They would sedate me and I would secrete all over the bed until the restraints were lubed up enough that I could slip free, because really, the sedative didn't work and I was just bullshitting, and I really am a toxic amphibian. I push my food down my throat with my eyeballs and such. You know, I can just go off on spiels... I'm glad I type these things up. If I ever need story ideas, I should reread some of my old posts. Lord. I probably have 100 pages of them. I should just make a GIANT word document and save all my spiels... I just wish I could tape record my phone conversations and video tape my self-conversing habits... Well, I COULD video tape my self-conversing habits... Just go up in my room and talk to myself... Then someone hears me and opens the door and says, "You're loud." and I go "KA BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!" and there's a nuclear fallout in the atmosphere because I'm not human at all, in fact I am quite inhuman... Like i said, I'm a toad. Or a frog. Or some other amphibian. God, you must think i do drugs. "LOOK AT ME, I'M A TOAD!" *hops around drooling* "SEE, I'M SECRETING TOXIC WASTE FROM MY MOUTH!" *licks random passersby* "Toad, toad, toad, toad, toad, toad..." *gets heavily sedated with a crowbar and tossed out into the street in front of a speeding bus* ~SJ ...Toad, toad, toad, toad...

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Saturday, March 18, 2006

I'm cold. The furnace is broken and won't be able to be fixed until Monday. "Can you say 'brainwashing'? 'B-b-b-b-brainwaashiing!'" Name that tune. Guess what. I want to draw lately, but I can't. I need some reference stuff. I have characters I want to draw. In fact, I have... *pauses, counting off on fingers* At least five. Maybe more. I can't feel my entire lower leg. I was sitting on it. It's getting better. *heavy sigh* My sister applied to a college today... an art school that's rather expensive... If she's accepted, she'll leave in October. *throws confetti* Granted, it'll be strange for her to not be around, but I'll get used to it after about a week. Or a day. Or a few hours. Doesn't matter. Point is, I should probably start looking into colleges... *heavy sigh* Maybe I'll talk to the guidance counselor next year, by choice... Maybe I'll talk to her by force... I think all Juniors and Seniors have to talk to the guidance counselor about their futures... it might just be seniors though. In which case, whatever. I have to practice guitar sometime today, dammit. I didn't get to last night cuz I was writing, then I watched Monk... I didn't this morning cuz there were people here and I didn't feel like it... and I didn't any other time today because I feel kind of really out of it and have been wandering aimlessly about... I'm cold... But it's only 7:45 so I have about two hours before I absolutely must or there will be no point in starting... I feel floaty and cold. My characters are all curled up under blankets... I have a guy who wears leather outfits like Tsume, only more provacative... Like, they have horizontal slits on his thighs to show bare skin... He's a rock singer. Point is, he's all curled up under a blue blanket in his leather pants that surely constrict bloodflow, and I don't know how he's comfortable. He probably feels like he's naked. That's okay. He's not a bad-looking guy with clothes on. I'm sure it wouldn't hurt anyone for him to be naked. Okay, we're gonna stop talking about my rock star babies being naked and I'm gonna go away now... ~SJ Nekked.

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Friday, March 17, 2006

Mah. I'm cold. Let's see, what can I complain and bitch and ramble about today... We'll just run through my day... Biology: Took a test. It was unexciting. Driver's Ed: They swam. I listened to music and sort of watched them do the breaststroke... It looks like a frog... FLIC: Watched some thing about Jack Nicholson. Japanese: Test & conversation. In conversation, I knew how to say "faster" because of Gackt's song Vanilla, in which he says "motto, hayaku" which means basically, "More, faster!" and yes, in a sexual way. At least I'm learning something from listening to music like that. Lunch: Ate lunch. Made jokes. Laughed at jokes. Was transfixed by a green stapler that wobbled but didn't fall down. World Cultures: Read my book. Math: Discovered I know no more about adding, multiplying, dividing, and subtracting percents, fractions, and decimals than any respectable five-year-old unless I have a calculator. I copied one of my group member's papers. He called me a dyke. Creative Writing: Produced one of the worst stories of my career. Listened to Pierrot. Turned in story and was told that my workshop group would be reading it on Monday. Began plotting ways to make sure they didn't read it. Settled on telling them they weren't going to read it. English: Highlighted crap about mental illnesses. My day was uneventful. It's St Patrick's Day and I wore a shirt with green on it. Here's my reasoning: If I hadn't, somebody would have pinched me and I would have got suspended for bloodying their face. So, I reason, wearing a little green for a day just because it's what people do, is better than getting suspended for several days for, roundaboutly, no more reason than not having worn it and hating stupid people. Hey yo, Chronicles of Narnia comes out on DVD April 4. Paatii o shimasu. Um, I'm increasingly bored. I think I'm gonna go watch my characters combat inside my mind. ~SJ None of my characters get along inside my head. The ones that DO get along, get along TOO well...

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Thursday, March 16, 2006

I think maybe my friend got the picture about pissing me off... First thing he did this morning was come up to me and hug me and say he was sorry. Apparently I broke the skin and drew blood yesterday... Like, he's got cuts on the back of his neck... Haha. But when he hugged me, I'm just like, "Don't touch me." Though, at lunch, he told some girl to lick me... and when I told him I was gonna kill him, he didn't know why... The bell rang, and he's like, "Move all the chairs out of her way!!!!" Honestly, I half expected him to shove a chair in front of me again... I would have slaughtered him. But he moved all the chairs and everyone was out of my way, which made my life easier... but he's like, "I don't want you mad at me." and I'm like, "I'm gonna kill you." and he's like, "What for?! I didn't do anything?!" Well, at the time, I was just saying I was gonna kill him just for the hell of it, but later I made the connection that he'd been telling that girl to lick me and why shouldn't I want to kill him for that?! Otherwise, my day dragged on for about 25 hours... My total birthday money accumulation is $180... Cuz my dad gave me a check for a hundred bucks... So YEAH for that! I'm gonna try to save it, though... At least until summer, when I hopefully get a job... I decided that when I get my license, I'm gonna start saving up money and hopefully be able to get a car by the time I'm 18, so I can work in the mall that's about half an hour's drive away from here... Yes, the nearest mall is 25-40 minutes away from here, no joke... *heavy sigh* In the meanwhile, I'll probably be getting a job as a cashier or something equally miserable over the summer... I hate people, so that ought to go over well. A teacher flung a marker at my best friend today cuz she was being a smartass... Heh heh. It was funny, cuz I wasn't looking at him, and didn't realize he'd flung something until it hit the file cabinet behind my friend and she screamed... Then she picked it up and put it on her desk... Later he came around with paper, and set a sheet on my desk and I'm like, "What's that?!" and he's like, "That... is paper." I was amazed. Then I took the marker he'd flung at my friend and I'm like, "Can I write on it with this?" and he took it from me. How depressing. I should have just stolen it. Or, my friend should have thrown it back at him... I'm bored. I need some guitar music. I DON'T WANT TO PLAY KUMBAHYAH AND AURA LEE ANYMORE! *explodes into tears* Oh my god. So, I was really bored last night and I found some blue eyeshadow in a drawer in my room, so I got my eyeliner and took this eyeshadow, and oh my god... It was fun, and looked kinda cool (like a rock star/crackhead/didn't-sleep-for-a-month kinda thing)... then I couldn't get it off... So I got after it with soap, which, needless to say, was stupid... Then somehow I accidentally got shampoo in my eyes in the shower, which wasn't good either... But my eyesight is still intact. YAY! Well, I'm gonna go type random shit. I'm so fucking bored. I haven't written anything in weeks (or in the case of my fanfics, about three months), and I haven't drawn anything in months, and I don't feel like it. I want to learn guitar, but somehow, I just don't feel inspired to learn how to play Kumbahyah... I suppose you have to start out with the boring shitty shit first, then you can play cool shit, but really, it's increasingly boring. I'm gonna set up my video camera on a tripod tonight, just to experiment with the tripod (I've had the camera for two years, I think, and have yet to use the tripod once)... But anyways, yeah, I'm gonna record myself practicing, just so when I'm a seriously kick-ass guitar player in a year or so, I can look back at it and be like, "I sucked like you would not believe... Oh my god..." Anyways. I'm leaving. ~SJ "Poisoning a drink bleeding in a sink choking with a link killing with a stink..."

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Wednesday, March 15, 2006

My birthday was loverly. YAY LOVERLY BIRTHDAY! Nobody got me a stripper, but my dad gave me three DVDs and a hundred bucks, so that kicks ass. My mother gave me a DVD player... YAY! So now I can watch my DVDs in my room! I CAN WATCH GRAVITATION IN MY ROOM! Let's see... I forced my best friend to buy me something. That bitch honestly would not have bought me something if I hadn't forced her to, and I can't believe that. It's my sixteenth birthday and she's my best friend, but she didn't want to get me anything. I can understand not wanting to, cuz I didn't want to spend my money on her, but I gave her money for her birthday without her violent persuasion... I had to push a book into her hands at Walden's and say, "You wanna buy me a present?!" and she just gave me eight dollars and made me go up and buy it myself. What a bitch! But anyways, so, in school, I got sang to (today and yesterday)... One friend gave me a card with Johnny Depp in it, and another friend gave me a card that had a disgustingly muscular guy on it and it was mildly amusing... My sister gave me a bunch of wolfy stuff, and it made me very happy... And... I ate a bunch of pizza and cake, and went to the mall and bought the next two Anita Blake books and System of a Down's CD Mezmerize... God almighty... "Cigaro." Let's not even go there... But, to counteract my good day yesterday, today I wanted to sleep half the day and murder people the other half... I almost broke one of my friend's arms, and I almost killed my other friend... honestly. I think I intended to break his neck, but missed and ended up just raking generous portions of his flesh off the back of his neck. It was sooooooo gross. Cuz, I mean, he almost broke my leg. I got up to leave the cafeteria when the bell rang, and he shoved a chair into my leg (on purpose) and I almost fell, and the only reason I didn't punch him is because I was off balance and lashed out with my left hand instead of my right, or he would have got it real bad. And he thought it was funny that he almost broke my leg. I HATE him so fucking much sometimes! When he's in a good mood, he is such a fucking bastard, he totally ruins it for me. Then, my other friend came up behind me and pulled on my hairband, and I didn't know it was her, I thought it was my jackass friend again, so I spun, I don't know what the fuck I did, but I think I grabbed her wrist and twisted her arm around... Apparently she almost fell on her face... If I hadn't caught myself, I probably would have just twisted her arm until it broke. I was telling one of my other friends about this later, and this boy was nearby and heard it all, and he's like, "God! Violent!" and I'm like, "I was MAD!" and he said, "I can tell! Make sure I never make you mad!" I hate when people make me that mad. I hate when my friends make me that mad. I mean, people I hate can't do that. But when I get really pissed, I honestly would, and COULD, hurt someone. It's like I just get filled with this burning explosion of power and rage and I could just MURDER SOMETHING! I wonder if that's a symbol of my innerlying mental instability. But, I'm okay now cuz I'm home with my CD and my chair and guitar and Pierrot and my leftover pizza and birthday cake, and my beloved orange Fanta... I'm gonna go get some leftover birthday cake... a big piece of cake should solve all my problems... Incidentally, I started wearing eyeliner yesterday and people notice. Whenever I do anything different, people notice, because I never do anything different. I just wander around in jeans and t-shirts and my leather coat, I never wear makeup, I never wear my hair down, I never wear bright colors. If one day I wore pink, they'd be like, "OMIGOD!" If one day I wore a girl's shirt, they'd be like, "OMIGOD!" Otherwise, it's basically, "Hey, you're that chick. You're tall and smart and not so pretty, and I think you're probably a lesbian. I have world cultures homework that's more interesting than you are. Good bye." But they don't know me. Otherwise, they'd be like, "You look kinda strange, you dress very plainly, but you are an extremely amusing and interesting person. Maybe that can just be credited to your probable mental illness, but since you don't take meds, we'll assume you're of semi-sound mind because you're just that cool." ~SJ Chocolate caaaaaake! o tabemasu.

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Sunday, March 12, 2006

I went to bed around 3 and woke up sometime between 10 and 11... I think more around 11. Yay. Guess what? I have a biology quiz on my BIRTHDAY. That sucks. My birthday is Tuesday. Two days before I'm sixteen. I'm actually not that excited. I know it won't be anything special. I'll eat cake, maybe go to the mall, get some presents and money, and my life will continue on every day afterwards as if nothing changed. Great attitude to have about my sixteenth birthday, I know, but birthdays don't excite me. Just like Christmas doesn't excite me, and easter doesn't excite me, and new Year doesn't excite me. I don't get excited about things that happen every year. It gets redundant, I guess. I'm such a hermit crab. Speaking of hermit crabs, my sister's died. But I still have my hamster, so I don't care. I have a cold, black little heart. My friend is giving me my birthday present tomorrow, so I'm kinda curious about that... Cuz I didn't give her any ideas. She thought up something all on her own. I bet it's something Johnny Depp. I won't complain if it is. I'm bored. You're boring. You bore me. I can't find the kanji for the "tsuzu" in "odoritsuzuke" in Pierrot's song "a pill". Damn kanji thing. ~SJ I'm sleepy. I have school tomorrow. It stinks like poo.

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Saturday, March 11, 2006

whooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. I'm hyper.

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Friday, March 10, 2006

I could only be happier if I'd just won a bunch of money. I GOT MY PIERROT CD!!! Oh yes, it's beautiful. Like I said, I couldn't be happier unless I'd just won a bunch of money. And if I had just won a bunch of money, I would go buy the rest of the Pierrot CDs on amazon.com, even if they were $50. I would patiently await their arrival, then jump up and down screaming when they got here. While I was waiting, I would have gone out and bought a 5-disc changer stereo with surround sound speakers, and I would go up into my not-very-huge bedroom with all my CDs and my many many speakers, and go deaf by way of Pierrot. I hurt from dancing while sitting down for the past twenty minutes. But it's such danceable-to music! I can only pause in the two seconds between songs, and then my whole body says, "STOP DANCING YOU CRACK HOE!" and I don't listen to it. Sadly, this song doesn't seem as upbeat... damn. So all I can do is sway back and forth with this stupid smile on my face that's been there for the past twenty five minutes... *heavy happy sigh* My life just got so much better... And I still have two and a half days in which I can listen to it nonstop before I have to go to school and be deprived of my wonderful Pierrot... The lyrics book is in Japanese, so I can't read it, but I'm gonna figure it out! I'll look at it, find what I know, then transliterate the rest by ear. YAY. MIMIMIMI! I'm dizzy. I was playing guitar this morning and I decided that I officially must have some kind of ADD, because I played about ten notes before I listened to half a song on my stereo, then paused the song and restarted whatever I was playing on the guitar, then once I messed up, I cussed a lot, then tried again, and got distracted by the fact that I was bored... so I started playing another song on my stereo... I need some good guitar music to encourage my learning... All that's in the book I'm learning from is 'amazing grace' and 'tom dooley'... wtf... All old music books seem to have that tom dooley song in there... back when I was attempting to play the recorder without learning it, that's the only song I could play... Speaking of the recorder, I should take that up again. I'm so glad there's only two and a half months of school left... I'm so gonna actually try to do shit this summer. Instead of getting on the computer and being like, "I have nothing to do on here but I'm gonna stay on here anyways," maybe I'll put a gun to my head and say, "I have nothing to do on here so I'm gonna go for a walk." or "go practice guitar" or "go work on the summer work for AP English" or... or maybe I'll just shoot myself in the head because the gun misfires since I don't know shit about guns. That's something else i'd like to know about. Guns. music, language, psychology, and guns. My main interests in the world. How pathetic. PIERROT! PIERROT! PIERROT! Pierrot is my MOST main interest in the world at this moment. And it IS the world, since they're not american. HAHAHAHAHA! Anyways... PIERROT! I LOVE THEM! ~SJ Rock on!

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