Friday, December 5, 2003

   I hate my mom.

My mother is evil. I was watching Yu-Gi-Oh, and she was sitting there so she saw it, and she's like, "I don't want you watching this anymore. I't lame with a capital 'lay.'" And I'm like "Why NOT?!" and she's like, "It's stupid. It's a card game, and it's supposed to be all suspenseful." LIKE SHE CAN TELL ME WHAT'S LAME! LIKE SHE CAN TALK ABOUT LAME! She watches this soap opera called 'Days of Our Lives,' okay? She has gotten to the point that she hates it, and she thinks it's lame, but she keeps watching it. She's even said it's the stupidest thing in the world, and it's getting worse, cuz the storyline they're doing is really stupid, and I can't believe it, it's nothing that could possibley ever EVER happen in real life, but she won't let me compare anime with soap operas, cuz soap operas have real people and 'aren't the same thing at all.' But it's lame as hell! It's more lame than some non-existant people freaking out over a card game! See, on Days of our Lives, they have some serial killer story going on. Now, they've already had Halloween, AND Thanksgiving, but it's only supposed to have been two days since somebody got killed on Halloween. Now tell me that's not lame! And one of the dead people keeps coming back and talking to this 'psychic' lady, who then goes and morphs into another one of the murder victims. And this one woman suddenly flipped out and started hating the guy who married her mother about 20 years ago, who is not her father but he raised her, well she suddenly hates him and the psychic lady has predicted that the guy is the murderer, and he's not, and she predicted that he's going to kill his wife, which he wouldn't do, and IT'S SO LAME! BUT SHE THINKS YU-GI-OH IS LAME!!! HOW LAME IS THAT?! VERY, VERY LAME, THAT'S HOW LAME!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE SAID THAT!!! I'm gonna watch it on Monday, or whenever I see it on over the weekend, just to see what she says, if she even remembers she said that. She's so stupid.

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Thursday, December 4, 2003

   I don't run with scissors!

DeathDay 2.0 by quill18 Username Die on April 4, 2026 Die of Ran with Scissors Value of Estate: $171,352 Created with quill18's MemeGen!

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Wednesday, December 3, 2003

   I hate being tricked.

I have to kill my friend. She sent me an email with a link to a supposed "compatability test" where it was just so wonderful and could tell you if you were compatable with a person just by typing their name. Well I just try those things out for fun, and I typed in my name and the name of the boy I like (who everybody already knows I like because we're best friends, but still...). It popped up there saying "Oops, you have been tricked! An email has been sent to..." It sent an email back to the girl who sent me the link and it told her what I had typed for the 'lover's name' thing, and now I am doomed to eternal taunting because she will never shut up about it.

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My friend sent me this and I found it quite amusing. Other than that, it has NO connection with me. Simple Rules for Dating My Daughter Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up. Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, to show a respectful amount of attention. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter, I will remove them. Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist. Rule Four: It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early." Rule Five: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry. Rule Six: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car? Rule Seven: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there is comfortable seating, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka -- zipped up to her throat. Movies with strong romantic themes are to be avoided at all costs; movies which features chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better. Rule Eight: Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless God of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not mess with me. Rule Nine: Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car -- there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.

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Monday, December 1, 2003

   ???

Hey, I need people to sign up on my forum. Chat board thing. Here's a link. I feel very... uh... unaccomplished when I go there and see my name everywhere and nobody else is there, so I'm all alone to talk to myself, which I save for when I'm locked in my room doing homework. On other subjects, like my [few] new decorations? Ain't they wonderful?

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   True.

Outcast What Kanji word best suits you? brought to you by Quizilla

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The World Is MINE! by Demonac Name: You will conquer: AOL (but nobody noticed, because that doesn't REALLY count as the Internet). Your title will be: High Priest/Priestess You will succeed by: Brute military force (4000 lbs of C4 and a pack of Milk Duds). Your Enforcers will be: Jem Hadar (from Star Trek, Deep Space Nine). Your first act as ruler: Build an invincible fortified palace in Washington (and use the White House as your doghouse). Created with quill18's MemeGen!

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Sunday, November 30, 2003

YES!

I'm in the top 25!!! I'm #24!!! This calls for a change of the colors from my usual red and black. You know what else? Not to gloat or rub it in, but I finally beat flintmarco! Plib. Puwaha. Muwaha. Buwahahaha. Yeehaa? Well, that's all for now. C y'all later.

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Friday, November 28, 2003

   I am so incredibly BORED!

I am so bored! I'm braindead for all my stories. I have to keep a constant train of thought on these things, you realize, or I go braindead. Well, I haven't been on the computer for two days, therefore I haven't written any of my stories for two days, so I can't think of anything to write... I can't even remember which stories I was working on, because I lost track. Well I didn't really, but I can't remember. And even if I could remember, it wouldn't help, because like I said, I'm braindead. It sucks big time. So how was you alls' Thanksgivings? As I said before, mine sucked. Anywho, guess what? I am ranked 26, flintmarco is ranked 25. *singing* I'm 26, he's 25. I'm 26, he's 25. Woo!

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-_-

AH! Does anyone know how to get a shoutbox on their page? I mean, cuz I tried, and it doesn't work for me. They seem to hate me in large amounts. No fair.

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