Monday, January 12, 2004

Howdy.

Okay, first off, I didn't win the school Geography Bee. (Not like I was expecting to...) Second, I have come to the conclusion I am emotionally unstable, and it is society and humanity's fault, so when I grow up I'm gonna be a hermit, and anybody who comes near my nice little house in the woods, I will throw a javelin at him or her, and it will pierce his or her brain, and he or she will die. Then I'll go cannibal on the dead body. Mmmm, fresh meat. Explanation: This girl was saying, jokingly I guess, that my friend was having like a quadruplesome with her mother and all her brothers. Well my friend is a boy, and he was getting pretty ticked, so he took her pen and was gonna throw it in his baked beans. He had it like a centimeter away. Well I though what this girl had said was worth her getting her pen thrown in baked beans, so I pushed his hand down and the very tip of the pen got in the baked bean sauce. Oh. My. God. How horrible. So this girl flips out, grabs my hair and pulls really hard and demands I apologize. Well, I didn't think she deserved an apology, cause she's a bitch and that was really rude what she was saying and baked bean sauce will not harm a pen (there's an invention called a napkin. You can clean stuff up with it.), so I didn't apologize, and she didn't let go. Instead, I grabbed her arm and dug in my fingernails as hard as I could and dragged them down, and she let go of my hair, and her skin was under my fingernails, and a few minutes later, somebody is like, "Oh my God, what happened to your arm?!" Apparently, I'd torn her skin open and it was bleeding. Well as we were walking to activity (15 minutes in the gym after lunch), I told her it was self-defense, and she grabbed my ponytail and pulled so hard I nearly fell over backwards, and my head slammed into the wall. I screamed obsenities, spun around, kicked her, then jumped down to the bottom level in the bleachers and curled up on the floor, trying desperately not to cry (I told you, I'm emotionally unstable! I get so pissed I cry). Well, my friend (the one bitch-girl had been making fun of) promptly comes up to me and says, "What happened? What's wrong?" Which just made it worse, and I hid my face and said, "Leave me alone." I wasn't like... crying, but there were tears and I almost couldn't breathe. All my friends were bothering me with, "What happened?" except my best friend who has enough sense to leave me alone when I'm in that condition, 'cause trying to make me feel better makes me more upset. Well then my friend (the boy bitch-girl'd been making fun of) sits beside me and makes me laugh, and I was torn between laughing and crying, then somebody comes up and says something like, "What the hell did you do to her (girl I mauled)?! Did you see her arm!?" Well, I really preferred not to talk because it made me start crying again, so I just curled up again, and the girl was just trying to get me to talk, and my friend (the boy) is just like, "Shut up!" And the girl left, and he made me laugh some more, and I was okay... But I hate being around people, because I can't hide it when I'm upset, and I hate being upset to the point of crying, and people make me upset, so I just want to cut off all ties with humanity and live as a hermit. I told my friend that and he's like, "Okay, I can deal with that. We'll live in the forest together." He's really sweet. Then he continued on to say, "And we'll have twenty kids, and they'll be our slaves." That made me laugh. There are two people who can cheer me up. My two best friends. Everybody else just makes it worse. When people talk to me in sad voices, like, "Oh, what's wrong? Are you okay? Can I help?" it makes me twenty times more miserable. If I'd been starting to calm down and somebody asks me that, it makes it worse. Anyway, I'm kinda worried she's gonna turn me in to the office, and I'd get I.S.S. That would SCREW my record. I've never had activity detention or I.S.S., and if she turns me in, hopefully she'd get it to, for pulling my hair and hitting my head off the wall. I don't fight in school except for self-defense. Somebody causes me pain, starts a fight or hits me first, I defend myself. Only... I have a feeling that if somebody actuallly punches me, I would do a bit more than dig in my claws. I'd probably knock out as many teeth as I could and bring as much blood as possible, and break as many bones as I could. Break nose, knock out teeth, make nose/mouth bleed, give black eye, slit throat, hide dead body in locker. You know, like that. Cause I can get really mad.

Comments (4)