Tuesday, February 21, 2006

I have to do a research paper for english on "something I'm interested in", as long as it's "current" and "american." ... How do you research "nothing"? I see it now... Me, presenting my paper... "I did my paper on nothing. See, the origins of nothing are... well, not really known. I think nothing was always there. But yeah... Five pages about 'nothing' resulted in exactly the subject of those pages: nothing. See? Pages are blank. Nothing is on them. I fail! Bye-bye now..." That would go over well. See, until she said "american and current" I was thinking, "hey. Samurai." But nope. Not american, OR current. Evil woman. So then I told my sister my plight, and she's like, "Do it on schizophrenia! Then, when you present it, you can go up there and start having an argument with yourself!" I think that's a good idea. I mean, come on. Who isn't interested in a mental illness? I would do my paper on gay rights, except one, I don't care enough to research them, and two, everybody in that school already thinks I'm a lesbian. Let's not further their suspicions, shall we? So, yeah. I hate that I can't do my paper on something I actually give a shit about... I mean, look at America. What is interesting about America? Not even their history is interesting. I mean, Russia had dictators and Ivan the terrible and stuff, Japan had samurai, India has Hinduism... Germany had Hitler and some other crap that I don't know about... Britain has Monty Python... as for leaders and rulers, I don't know anything about that... Africa and Australia have cool animals, and tribal people... What does America have? George W. Bush. Rednecks. I mean, Canada has MOUNTIES! What's more cool yet highly amusing than a police force on horseback? What do we have? America's like, two hundred years old. Our history is like this: (.) Compared to somewhere like Italy, whose history is like this: (!@#$%^&*-%+$=!$@#^#@&^-*^#^$=@^$#%!@$^@$&+$#@%&$^@*&#$&^) Very full and interesting. America is boring. I resent doing a paper on America. I want to move to Japan or something. WOOT SCHIZOPHRENIA. No offense intended if you actually know a schizophrenic and are offended by that. Perhaps a more full exclamation should be: WOOT FOR DOING YOUR PAPER ON SCHIZOPHRENIA! ~SJ

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