Wednesday, March 1, 2006

  

Man, my friends are insecure. Just because I don't hug them and say "I love you SOOOOOO much and I'm SOOOOOO glad to be friends with you and there's no one else in the ENTIRE WORLD I would rather be friends with!" they assume I don't like them at all. (excluding my best friend) Whereas my best friend, I told her today, "I hate you. You're not my best friend anymore." And proceeded to claim random people, whoever I was talking to aside from her, as my "new best friend", then shun her by referring to her as "ex-best friend" all the rest of the day. I don't even remember why I "hate" her, but I do. Now, I don't do that to my other friends, but they're the insecure ones. What is up with that? I mean, I can understand that my best friend that I've been friends with since 1st grade wouldn't be insecure about our friendship, but I've known the other two since 6th grade and we've got 13 weeks left of 10th grade. I mean, come on. Going on five years. I think if I was gonna "dump" them, I'd have done it by now. Do they really think if I "hated" them that I'd still talk to them? Obviously. I mean, I think they're extremely devoted to me, and they would probably die for me (cuz they're just emotional like that)... and if they're expecting that kind of devotion, they can forget it, cuz I mean... I dunno if I would die to save my best friend. It'd be either we both lived, or we both died. There wouldn't be any in-between. I mean, I'd risk a lot for her, but I'm not about to assure my death just to assure her survival. Mostly due to my distrusting nature. This is deep shit here. Myotaku seems to be my "figure out my inner self through rants and rambles while spilling it all out into the world for any skmo to read" place... Incidentally, isn't the smiley face with the buggy eyes the awesomeest thing to ever be created? I mean, just stare at it for a while, and it starts to get really... interesting... hypnotic... transfixing... ~SJ

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