Sunday, March 5, 2006

  

I'm bored beyond all human capabilities. I'm trying to write and wait at the same time. I know, that sounds kind of stupid... But I'm waiting for something to load, and I'm trying to write, and I'm doing fine in the writing department except that I can't CONCENTRATE because I have a MENTAL DISORDER, GODDAMMIT! My research paper has changed topic twice. First, it was "evidence to prove the existence of multiple personalities"... I found nothing on that (then again, I didn't really look)... so then I changed it to "treatments for schizophrenia"... But my teacher, when I told her to change it, just wrote "schizo" next to my name on her list... So, I went through my shit about schizophrenia that I had gathered so far (two books, ten pages out of each... I had four days in class and that's all the effort I put into it)... All I found was that there was some medicine developed in the 1950's that lessened the symptoms but had side effects similar to Parkinson's disease. Thank you, but I'd rather have schizophrenia... Be oblivious and psychotic rather than aware and in pain and misery... But anyways, my paper has to be about an "issue" that I can "take sides" on... So, I talked to my mother a little bit and she suggested I do my paper on something like the rights of mentally ill when they commit crimes. I don't know SHIT about that... But it's something I can take sides on... I have to find six sources of four different types in three class periods and a four-day weekend, so basically we're saying, I'm so fucking screwed for this research paper that I might as well fall out into the street in front of a moving bus right now, y'know? Now, I shall go get thoroughly distracted trying to write my story and come back here to ramble a bit more when I get distracted from trying to write my story. .....! The story is going better than I thought. Wow. So, I'm gonna go now. I gotta look something up about some movies, just for the hell of it, then I'm gonna continue to write. ~SJ Na no da.

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