Wednesday, March 15, 2006

My birthday was loverly. YAY LOVERLY BIRTHDAY! Nobody got me a stripper, but my dad gave me three DVDs and a hundred bucks, so that kicks ass. My mother gave me a DVD player... YAY! So now I can watch my DVDs in my room! I CAN WATCH GRAVITATION IN MY ROOM! Let's see... I forced my best friend to buy me something. That bitch honestly would not have bought me something if I hadn't forced her to, and I can't believe that. It's my sixteenth birthday and she's my best friend, but she didn't want to get me anything. I can understand not wanting to, cuz I didn't want to spend my money on her, but I gave her money for her birthday without her violent persuasion... I had to push a book into her hands at Walden's and say, "You wanna buy me a present?!" and she just gave me eight dollars and made me go up and buy it myself. What a bitch! But anyways, so, in school, I got sang to (today and yesterday)... One friend gave me a card with Johnny Depp in it, and another friend gave me a card that had a disgustingly muscular guy on it and it was mildly amusing... My sister gave me a bunch of wolfy stuff, and it made me very happy... And... I ate a bunch of pizza and cake, and went to the mall and bought the next two Anita Blake books and System of a Down's CD Mezmerize... God almighty... "Cigaro." Let's not even go there... But, to counteract my good day yesterday, today I wanted to sleep half the day and murder people the other half... I almost broke one of my friend's arms, and I almost killed my other friend... honestly. I think I intended to break his neck, but missed and ended up just raking generous portions of his flesh off the back of his neck. It was sooooooo gross. Cuz, I mean, he almost broke my leg. I got up to leave the cafeteria when the bell rang, and he shoved a chair into my leg (on purpose) and I almost fell, and the only reason I didn't punch him is because I was off balance and lashed out with my left hand instead of my right, or he would have got it real bad. And he thought it was funny that he almost broke my leg. I HATE him so fucking much sometimes! When he's in a good mood, he is such a fucking bastard, he totally ruins it for me. Then, my other friend came up behind me and pulled on my hairband, and I didn't know it was her, I thought it was my jackass friend again, so I spun, I don't know what the fuck I did, but I think I grabbed her wrist and twisted her arm around... Apparently she almost fell on her face... If I hadn't caught myself, I probably would have just twisted her arm until it broke. I was telling one of my other friends about this later, and this boy was nearby and heard it all, and he's like, "God! Violent!" and I'm like, "I was MAD!" and he said, "I can tell! Make sure I never make you mad!" I hate when people make me that mad. I hate when my friends make me that mad. I mean, people I hate can't do that. But when I get really pissed, I honestly would, and COULD, hurt someone. It's like I just get filled with this burning explosion of power and rage and I could just MURDER SOMETHING! I wonder if that's a symbol of my innerlying mental instability. But, I'm okay now cuz I'm home with my CD and my chair and guitar and Pierrot and my leftover pizza and birthday cake, and my beloved orange Fanta... I'm gonna go get some leftover birthday cake... a big piece of cake should solve all my problems... Incidentally, I started wearing eyeliner yesterday and people notice. Whenever I do anything different, people notice, because I never do anything different. I just wander around in jeans and t-shirts and my leather coat, I never wear makeup, I never wear my hair down, I never wear bright colors. If one day I wore pink, they'd be like, "OMIGOD!" If one day I wore a girl's shirt, they'd be like, "OMIGOD!" Otherwise, it's basically, "Hey, you're that chick. You're tall and smart and not so pretty, and I think you're probably a lesbian. I have world cultures homework that's more interesting than you are. Good bye." But they don't know me. Otherwise, they'd be like, "You look kinda strange, you dress very plainly, but you are an extremely amusing and interesting person. Maybe that can just be credited to your probable mental illness, but since you don't take meds, we'll assume you're of semi-sound mind because you're just that cool." ~SJ Chocolate caaaaaake! o tabemasu.

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