Monday, February 14, 2005

   Happy V-Day!!!!!
Well I sent Lestat back inside me. He was hurting too many people. well he is gone for now. so no worries.

Ok well this special week the theme will be changed to Sailor Moon. I am gonna be really romantic this week. I am usually always romantic well when Lestat is not here lol

Here are some poems for my true love

Poem:
Dolly....My one and only
Without her I am truly Lonely
She fills that dark void in my life
She will never backstab me with a knife

I love her so very much
I will never love another as such
I kiss her and Stroke her hair
I hug her without a care

My love for her I cannot Explain
I try and try to explain in vain
All I can do is say "I Love You"
and hope it will always go through

Haiku 1:
I Love you Dolly
Your beauty is unsurpassed
You are my true love

Haiku 2:
My True love is Kind
Beautiful and caring
Her name is Dolly

Haiku 3:
I miss you baby
You are always on my mind
I want you with me

Well I hope Dolly likes them. I rarely do love poems. I suck at them.
Comments (9) | Permalink

Sunday, February 13, 2005

   HAHAHAHA
Alan/Lestat: Well yesterday I was totally happy. I still am really happy except now I feel evil. I have a sudden urge to kill everyone.....even people I like. I want to unleash my evil side. I actually did unleash it on my friend....I was just wondering what would happen. I want to make people hate me. I dont know why. I dont want to be weakened by fake emotions. I shall fully give in to my evil side. I love to watch other people suffer. HAHAHAHA I want to bash people's heads in HAHAHAHAHA I want everyone dead. I want them gone.....RAAAAAAAAWWWWWWRRRRRR. I will kill all you fuckers!!!!! I will make you all suffer. One by one I will kill every living soul on this earth. I dont want to be weakened by stupid emotions. I want to be cold hearted. I want to not care. I want everyone dead. HAHAHAHAHA FUCK YOU ALL!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHA I HATE YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!! RAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWRRRRRR...........DIE....DIE.....DIE!!!!!!!!!!!! grrrrrrrrr. Fuck off!!!!

Alan:get out of my fucking head. NO!!!!!!! I dont want to hate anyone. Shut the fuck up!!!!!!! I want to be happy...leave me fucking alone.

Lestat:Why do you want people that hate you to be happy......

Alan:not everyone hates me....I want them to like me

Lestat:Every single person hates you They hate everything about you HAHAHAHA.......

Alan:NO!!!!!!!! Shut the fuck up!!!!!!!.....

Lestat:You know it is the truth.........

Alan:Fine, you win. you can kill everyone I dont give a fuck anymore You can take over I dont wanna deal with this shit.......

Lestat:HAHAHAHAHA I told you everyone hated yet you still had hope tisk tisk tisk. Now that Alan is out of the way all you fuckers will have to deal with me. HAHAHAHAHAHA You may call me Lestat. Since Alan is no more I defeated his weaker side. He will never be tied down by stupid emotions. He is under my full control. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Comments (7) | Permalink

Saturday, February 12, 2005

   :P
Well today is one of my best friend's b-day. She lives in KY and she is dolly's best friend. Well they are having a party today...I wish I could go. Well w/e see ya later everyone. I have nothing else to say.
Comments (0) | Permalink

Friday, February 11, 2005

   bleh
Well I have nothing to talk about. I am trying to stop the cutting but I cant. I just cant seem to shake off this sadness inside me. I dont want to die anymore because I find suffering somewhat erotic. I find my suffering really fun. I deserve all this shit. I deserve everything I get. I deserve pain...I deserve Sadness. I deserve Death but then that will be a good thing. So I wont accept my death. I will get what I deserve soon. I deserve physical pain right now. I also deserve emotional pain. I deserve every single piece of shit life can throw at me. Well on to other matters. I miss dolly!!!!!!! We spent 45 hours apart. and when we finally talk I was pissed at her. I dont know why but I just was. some weird shit is going on here that I dont know anything about. I have a bad feeling about this. Thoughts worse than suicidal ones are coming up........I dont fucking like this one bit.
Comments (5) | Permalink

Thursday, February 10, 2005

   Theme and stuff
Well this month's theme is Vicious from Cowboy bebop. last month's Theme was alucard from hellsing. I will change the Theme every month. My 3 fave cgaracters are Alucard,Vicious and Broly. as you can guess next month's theme will be broly from DragonballZ. but This month will be weird because all of next week the theme will either be Sailor Moon or Please Teacher. Since next week is valentine's day. I will be cooking up some romantic scheme =P. on to other matters. Today I got my retainers. they are really weird. Oh! and I am not gonna be online this week. I will just post my daily post and that is it. I started cuting myself again yesterday. I wont kill myself I will just keep cutting myself. I wont stop. I want to bleed soo much I get drowsy.I became like that because of an event that happened yesterday *sigh* blah blah blah. Oh! and I am still playing Sonic Adventure 2. I forgot how awesome Shadow was. I have the soundtrack of it. I love Soni and shadows theme. I remembered all the lyrics. well I have nothing else to say. =P
Comments (2) | Permalink

Wednesday, February 9, 2005

   Why Dolly???
Dolly couldn't call me today because her mom took her phone. Man, I miss her voice. oh and She wont be able to go only tommorrow ;_; Man....I am gonna miss her sooooo much tommorrow. *sigh* her brother is gonna be using the comp all day tommorrow for the rest of the time. she Will never be on on Wednesday or Sundays *sigh* I dont think I can take it ;_; but I must take it. I should be thankful that I still have lots of time with her =P Well I am now learning to appreciate things and not take them for granted. That is Why I alkways chewrish the time we have when we talk on the phone. Ok and on to other things. Today my best friend Alex came over. We started playing Sonic Adventure 2 for Dreamcast. I had forgotten how badass that game was. I had always loved Sonic. He was my fave character since I was little. I like Shadow better though. I used to collect the Sonic Comic book. it was sooo cool. Well my new obsession is .hack. I know everything about .hack. it is my expertise. I have all 4 games. and I own all the DVD's. I am gonna try to start collecting the cards but I doubt I will buy any. I have never really likes card games because it gets obsessive and waste tons of money on packs just to try to get a shiny card. I was obssesed with pokemon cards in 3rd garde and in 6th Yu-Gi-Oh cards. I have given up on cards and moved on to DVd's and Cd's which cost a lot more than cards but they are worth it. Well that is it everyone. I am still sad about Dolly not being online tommorrow. *sigh* Well I am gonna go play Sonic Adventure 2 now.
Comments (6) | Permalink

Tuesday, February 8, 2005

   Today was a good day ^_______^
Today was a good day because I got to talk to Dolly on the phone. It was sooo awesome. I just love her voice. I love how She talks..it is soooo cute ^_________^ I love talking to her on the phone because I can feel I am loved. I know she loves me a lot ^________^ She loves me as much as I love her...I thought that was impossible. She always makes me happy. I just love her oh sooo much ^_________^ I love everything about her. I love how she treats me. I love her cute voice. I love her purple AIM font ^________^ I may sound weird but I am madly in love with her. I will always love her! I will never stop loving her. She means everything to me. I love her more than my kitty (which I treat as my daughter) When I talk to Dolly I forget all about my troubles...All my problems go away when I talk to her. I may sometimes have my mood swings and get all depressed but When I see dolly trying to cheer me up I get happy. I just love Dolly!! I Will always love her!!! I LOVE YOU SOOOOOO MUCH DOLLY LONG!!!!!!!!!


PS: I am sorry I haven't come up with a poem yet. I have been too lazy to make one =P I promise you all I will make one ASAP.
Comments (9) | Permalink

Monday, February 7, 2005

   Sowwy
sorry I didn't post. I was busy sorting some things out =P. Well I am fine today. My best friend Alex was trying to hook me up with some so-so asian chicks. He is trying to find a hot g/f for me. I keep telling him I already have one. I keep telling him me and her are gonna get married. it seems like he doesn't believe in online relationships. They are harder to handle than person to person relationships. But it is worth it ya know. I would go through whatever obstacles to be with her. I have given Dolly my life. My life is in her pretty little finger ^.^ She can do whatever she wants to me and I will never stop loving her. I dont know why I feel like that. I love her with all my heart. I try and try to make her really happy. I just want her happyness. I would suffer our breakup if it would lead to her being happy. I would do anything to make her happy. Well on to other news the superbowl was today. I didn't watch it because I dont believe in it. Men only watch it so they can call themselves a true man. One is not a man with what he watches or what he does but how he acts with his woman. sadly most men are stupid. they still think of as girls as sex objects. they still watch the superbowl to be so called "Men". they drink beer to be cool. they are stupid. Not all Men are like that. some are still kind hearted. very few but still. Well ughhh I am running out of topics to discuss. oh wait...this is MY blog XD I had forgotten that XD I thought I was supposed to start a discussion or something. It just goes to show you how stupid I can be XD
Comments (9) | Permalink

Thursday, February 3, 2005

   hello
Well I'm feeling better. I just needed to set some things straight and that is Why I haven't posted in a long time. Well Today They took off my braces (fuck ya!!!!) It feels weird without them. Well it seems like the future is looking good for me..as long as I keep my evil side under control =P. ahhhh I have an awesome girlfriend, I dont have those ugly braces,I am finnally looking good and I have lots of cool and supporting friends =P life is finnaly looking good. ahhhhh I have never been this happy. I have such a good and loving girlfriend.I love her sooo much.Anyone you'd live for, you love. Any person can give up his/her life, but does anyone stop and think about how the person you love feels? If you truly love them, and they love you, you'd be willing to do anything to live for them. Making them happy is your sole motivation in life, and dying for them will cause them the greatest pain ever. If one of us HAD to die, and the other would have to go on living, I would suffer the burden of life without her.

Comments (4) | Permalink

Saturday, January 29, 2005

   ....................
well the toothpaste did not work. or maybe it did but it is taking a slow effect. Well I dont care if dolly did not take it personally but what gets me is because I did it. I cant forgive myself. I also did not just do bad things to her. I also did some bad things to my dog. I love animals and I stopped hitting them long ago. I used to hit all my animals when they wouldn't listen.I still do but to a limited extent. All the dogs are afraid of me. when they see me they cower in fear. I will never forgive myself for that.Yesterday I fed him a piece of chicken with hot sauce. I feel fucking bad that I did that. I have to fucking die. I am pure evil. I am Satan himself. I have only done bad things...even when I dont even mean them. I am fucking fucked up. I have to die today. I will die today no one is gonna stop me. I will start cutting myself now maybe I can bleed to death. Maybe I should just slit my wrist right now. Well goodbye evryone. I will be getting rid of satan from this world. bye
Comments (6) | Permalink