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myOtaku.com: ShadowDarkness54


Wednesday, January 19, 2005

   Why?
Who Am I? i keep asking myself that question. I dont know who i am....I have been an outcast even as i was a child. I have always been anti-social. I never talk...but i do respond. i dont talk to people unless they talk to me. if they talk to me it shows that they are interested in me and so i respond really nice. I think i am nice but i dont know. I have been Evil i have wanted everyone to die. i picture the death of every human being. I want them dead. i want to make them suffer. It is not fair that they make me suffer and i cant do anything. I dont think i want to be evil...but i am. I am one psychotic and fucked up person. I dont know why people even talk to me. i am fucked up. i dont belong in this world. I will never belong in this world. I find it hard to make friends since i can never start conversations. I have 2 personalities and they both always clash. one wants everyone to be happy but then the other wants everyone dead including myself. that is when i get confused thoughts. I get suicidal. I think that i want to make everyone happy by getting rid of myself. I hate everyone because they hate me. I have met the worst of every type of person. I have never met that many good people. The only friend I have is Alex. i have known him since 3rd grade. but sadly he is having family problems. he is gonna come over tommorrow though. I still think i should die. maybe Lil_Angel is right....maybe everyone online is fake. maybe they dont care at all....................................no one cares
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