myOtaku.com
• Join Today!

My Pages
• Home
• Portfolio
• Guestbook
• Quiz Results

Contact Me

AIM
• ShadowDarkness54
E-mail
• Click Here
OtakuBoards
• Shugo54
Website
• Click Here
Yahoo! Messenger
• ShadowDarkness54

Vitals

Birthday
• 1990-01-20
Gender
• Male
Location
• In The Darkness
Member Since
• 2005-01-12
Occupation
• Vampire
Real Name
• Grave

Personal

Achievements
• Nothing
Anime Fan Since
• 1996-1997
Favorite Anime
• Hellsing and Gungrave
Goals
• To Die
Hobbies
• Making Sad/Dark Poems
Talents
• Sad/Dark Poetry




Jump to User:

myOtaku.com: ShadowDarkness54


Tuesday, February 22, 2005

   GRRRR
I think my Friend EJ is mad at me. well I was gonna run away because of a problem I created. I dont want to discuss it here. but anyways EJ got mad at me because I am the one that pushed her into doing what she did. Dolly is supposed to be mad at EJ and Me but instead EJ is mad at both of us. I dont see any logic in that. I hate it when my friends are mad at me. I dont care if other people are mad at me but I do care when really good friends are mad at me. it feels awful. well I decided to not talk to her. I blocked her from my AIM list and I ignore her on my YIM list. She can stay mad all she wants. I frankly dont care anymore. I know it is my fault but what the fuck can I do? Everything I fucking do is bad. If I run away that is bad if I stay that is bad (because i create problems). What the fuck can I do then???? this is fucking bullshit. I dont know what to do anymore. I still want to run away. I have decided to not kill myself or cut myself anymore. I will just run away soon. I cant hold on for longer. everything is piling up. everyone is getting mad at me. everyone is telling me to not go. I just want to not care...but I do care and that is the problem. that is Why I dont like my good side. My evil side does not care and he is way stronger. Lestat can easily beat Alan. that is why6 I like turning evil. but the thing is I can never be truly evil around people that are kind to me. the only time Lestat comes out full force is when I am really pissed and people are provoking me. That is the only time I cant control him. whenever I bring him out is because I want to bring him out and therefore he is being controlled by me. *sigh* I dont want this anymore. Why cant I be normal? Why cant I please people? What the fuck does everyone want from me? *sigh* I shall have to wait for another ooportune moment to run away. I hope it is soon.
Comments (7)

« Home