Sunday, February 27, 2005

blah!
Well on Saturday I went to universal Studios with my 2 cousins who came down from San Francisco. Theyare cool but they fight a bit oo much. well I went on al the rides at universal studios with some kids that the took with them. theyare around my age and they are cool. at first I hated them because I hate everyone I dont know. but then I got used to them and started liking them. well after we got out of the theme park I went to hot Topic...and I found this awesome cross and a HIM DVD and I also bought a Metal for the masses CD. It is soo cool!! I now have to find a good chain that goes with my cross and I have to tie it upside down. I think I am satanic and anti-christ o.O this proves that I do have a Evil personality. How can someone who hates god and jesus love someone...I think that is absurd. I now know that Lestat is real. My good side loves and embraces god (but not jesus) My good side lives by a Religion I created.well it's not a religion it's just a new way of believing in stuff. My religion bases itself on Nature and Animals. It also has reincarnation. The main philosophy behing it is that" Every action has a positive and negative Effect" so basically everything you do is good and bad. I have 5 Animal Deities and 2 gods/goddese's.the sun god and the moon godess. my religion (which has no name) is a mix of everything I have liked about religions. It's my own way of thinking. each religion has it's flaws and good points so i decided to make one that I will like to follow. Since I dont wanna believe in a Savior so then I created one with everything I like. well that is my good side's religion/philosophy. Lestat loves Evil stuff. My Lestat is satanic and is against christ. I knew lestat was real!! or maybe he is not and I am the one that actually hates god and jesus.....I dont know anymore.....I am really confused.....one of my best friends now hates me and my sister keeps mocking me and pushing me.......this is just too much for me to handle. recently I have been getting mad easier.....I find everyone annoying now....my best friend was just over and I got annoyed of him.....What the fuck is wrong with me....Why is this happening......I dont want to lose anymore friends. I will try my best to calm down....maybe that will help.....God and Jesus both hate me....they pretend to love you but then the bring you suffering and pain. No wonder I lost faith in them....But I still love god even though he hates me..........I dont know what I am saying now....I am getting annoyed by my own dad....he is 80 but I seem to find him annoying........I shall go calm down and hear some HIM that might calm me down....whenever I think of dolly it makes me happy and calms me down.....but I am srill confused....well I am planning to run away soon but I might not do it...I love dolly too much...I only live for her.........without her then this life wont be worth living......well anyways...byes!!! me tired and irritable.
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