Wednesday, August 8, 2007

   Moving On
so this is probably gonna seem really miniscule or unimportant, but it felt like my world was shifting. i didnt and still dont know really how to comprehend it but i'll work on it. so my mom and have have been cleaning and re-doing my room for a few days. it looks awesome and very minimalist meets retro. as we were going through stuff, as we always do, i find stuff that i dont use or dont like and put it in the "give away bag" for goodwill. i kept finding myself stuck on things my mom was says, phrases that until now had now particular consequence to me; they made me realize that im not a kid anymore. im out of my childhood but i was still grasping it through these objects. for example, this scaled down ferris whell made of nothing but tooth picks. it was made for me by a friend who *when i was seven or eight* was in prison. (long story) ive always displayed it in my room and was always proud to explain it to anyone. tonight-my mom told me to throw it away. at first it seemed unthinkable, and then i actually put some thought into it. this one thing, this momento, was my bridge into a part of my life that was no long mine. it was hard. hard accept the fact that there is no going back. that memories are all that are rightfully mine. that to throw it away meant to move on. i did it. with tears and brief remorse, i let go. i still feel the numbness but i guess i just have to wait for that to pass. it makes me wonder, material things are only material things. but are memories always enough?
Comments (2) | Permalink

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

dude!

Create your own FREE ZingFu Pet!


Comments (0) | Permalink

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

   i shouldnt attempt thinking this late at night
and yet, i do.
anyways, im schpieling cause if i dont then everything will play over and over in my head all night like a broken record.
can anyone believe that summers almost over? dude, where the hell did it go??!! this i get to go back to the hellhole (aka-uhs) and fill out all the stupid paperwork that i fill out every year cause theyre too lazy to keep files updated in the system. my favorite part of the form packet? the one that asks you for your phone number, email adress, address and everything else for the directory. yay, so now we can opt to get stalked! what a democracy! oh, dont even get me started on the bell schedule!
lets see, i still have loads of school junk shopping to do. i think my backpack thing from last year is still good and i like it but ashley seems to think if i use it one more year, it might start growing hair. which is probably true....
other than that, nothing much else is goin on. lots of babysitting and working though.
Comments (2) | Permalink

Friday, June 22, 2007

ha, shockingly true

Advanced Global Personality Test Results Extraversion |||||||||| 33% Stability |||||||||||||||| 66% Orderliness |||||| 26% Accommodation |||||||||||||||| 63% Interdependence |||||||||||| 43% Intellectual |||||| 30% Mystical |||||||||||| 50% Artistic |||||||||||||| 56% Religious |||||||||||| 43% Hedonism |||||| 30% Materialism |||||||||| 36% Narcissism |||||| 30% Adventurousness |||||||||||| 50% Work ethic |||||| 23% Self absorbed |||| 16% Conflict seeking |||||||||||||||| 70% Need to dominate |||| 16% Romantic |||||||||| 36% Avoidant |||||||||||||||||||| 90% Anti-authority |||||||||||||||| 63% Wealth || 10% Dependency |||| 16% Change averse |||||| 30% Cautiousness |||||||||||| 43% Individuality |||||||||||||||| 63% Sexuality |||||||||||||||| 63% Peter pan complex || 10% Physical security |||||||||||||||||||| 90% Physical Fitness |||||| 24% Histrionic |||||| 30% Paranoia |||||||||||| 43% Vanity |||||| 23% Hypersensitivity |||||| 23% Indie |||||||||||| 50%

Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Comments (2) | Permalink

Thursday, June 21, 2007

   Unavoidable Endings and Revelations
Here are a few tidbits i've come to notice over this obscure Summer '07.

-stereotypes, though shallow and degrading, infect every one of us. no matter how much we detest them or disagree with their meanings, it is absolutley impossible to walk down the street and NOT judge some one crossing your path; whether it be good or bad. at first, i felt guilty when i found my subconscience doing so but then i reminded myself that it is human nature.
-for some reason, that "ew! that girl/boy has cooties" phase seems to last a helluva lot longer for guys than with girls. for example- one of my good guy friends. i kinda like him, in that endearing and "soft-spot" kinda way but im afraid to say anything to him cause he'd freak if i came within 2 feet of him...and/or called him...which i plan to do tomorrow just to freak him out. ;}
-inner office politics of middle-aged bussinessmen are equivalent to the whining of a group of 5th graders. *actually its quite amusing*
-ironically, those who swear they wear their oh-so-broken heart on their sleeves *i believe the stereotype for this is 'emo'* are actually wearing a chinsy emotional mask made of tin pins and saftey pins clipped to their backpacks. the self proclaimed masicists are parading around preaching to the world that they are not afraid to do it yet all they do is preach. the people who really need the help are now shut out even more and only pushed farther into dark. famous words to live by : "crazy people dont know theyre crazy."
-*sigh* a personal pet peeve: Goth-isity. i would gladly like to take a survey at a mall or any public place and follow the black-clad "goths" to see if any of them know the actual meaning of the term "gothic". in essence, *my version anyway* it does not depend on how many inches of black tripp pants trail behind your shoes or how many spikey bracelets you can cram onto your arm. it is a mannerism, a characteristic of style. it is a form of nostalgic romanticism, a deep poetic countenance carried in every step. it was a time period and an architectural form as well. it gave off an exuberance of lushishness without toting plaid mini-skirts and band tees.

now that my rant is *for the most part* complete, i shall take my leave. cheers!
Comments (1) | Permalink

Monday, June 18, 2007

   mountain dew is an evil drink
hehe, porcelain and the tramps! hell ya. *sings f*cks like a star!!!* dont roll your eyes ashley, i know your listening to it too, so yeah. thank god schools over. guess what? it JUST hit me full on- WE'RE GONNA BE UPPERCLASSMEN! DUDE! hell yeah! the four years of torture are almost over!
*tell me how do my leftovers taste!* hehe.
oh, thought it mught amuse ya, squirrly man got some kind of job...but he doesnt work on a regular schedule and got paid $50 bucks. haha, him a bookie. thats a funny thought.
i probably should clean my closet out...seeing as theres stuff living in there. *keyword-should* ha, im trying to press a blule rhinestone into my forhead...its not working too well.
so yeah, targets pretty awesome. they have amazing mango slushies. mmmmm. breaktime rocks. and i get a walkie talkie! sweet! ha, makes me feel important! ;) anyways, better go and act like im doing somethin productive.
Comments (0) | Permalink

Thursday, June 14, 2007

   Summer....as it stands
Lets see, im fairly new to the site so anyone reading this probably knows absolutley nothing about me. Well, lets just say, i have a tendency to be engulfed by boredom.
Hark! this year's different. Imagine that.
I have a job. Yay! unfortunatly it consists of wearing kkhakis and a red shirt EVERY FRICKIN DAY. ya, you guessed it- Target. Its acctually pretty awesome but in case you hadnt picked up on the vibe...KHAKIS ARE EVIL.
Hmmm, oh ya, on the lighter side- the one guy i actually kinda sorta maybe like *ashley shut up!*has a phone-phobia and justifies it by not knowing whats happening on my end of the reciever. *sigh* Go figure.

Ah, now time for my dedication to my other half *you know who you are!*
You deserve so much better than a materialistic, fuzzy, hypocritical, immature, UNTALENTED *seriously, give up already!* lying, blithering moron. If he couldnt manage to "balance" you and his stuck up friends then guess what? Maybe the problem isnt with you? wonder if that thought ever crossed into his hair-product poisened little head, hmmm?
Now that my rant is over, let me specify why blogs can be helpful. Bluntly, i usually hate them. yet, when its 10:45 at night and your in that state between tired collapsing and babbling idiocy, they come in handy.
Comments (1) | Permalink

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

   Greetings
Hey-
welcome to my site. i'm probably the worst anime fan in existance. i think most of it is corny and tto much like a soap opera...with one exception...SAILOR MOON!!! yay. *kinda hypocritical though...hmm* so-ya, enjoy this waste of a site!
Comments (0) | Permalink